Bipolar check-in #70

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 08:45 PM

It is good to see you @Blue_Bird! I so hope the thorazine works out.

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 08:49 PM

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you @wildflowerchild25. I've heard about the storm...the Tampa airport is open as of 15 minutes ago. I hope you're taking that Xanax so you have a smoother time with the flight. Take care of yourself, heal, and I hope NO flight delays!

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 08:53 PM

Sooo good your nausea is gone @Mountaindewed. I've had several periods of missed time in my life. It's weird and unsettling. I wonder if a lot of people experience missed time, or not.

What the heck is a "greenlight"??

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Yeah the gabapentin is already helping at my starter dose.

My pdoc wants me to increase it every few days until I get to 3 pills (300mg each), 3 times a day (2700mg total for the day).

That's excellent. I'm hoping to increase my dosage, too. Gaba has a really good reputation.

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Ran to hobby lobby today for battery string lights for a wreath. But they only had indoor lights. So I’m thinking of going back to get the makings of an indoor wreath to hang on the front door. Right now everything for Christmas is 60% off. I saw very cute red birds that would look adorable on a wreath. I did get golden flowers to put in the real wreath I’m making at the nature center. It’s going to have a big bow, pine cones, gold flowers and red berries. And oh, frames were 50% off so I got a frame for my picture to give my daughter. She has grey for her main color so I got a grey frame.

Ooh, it all sounds just lovely. I can just picture the little red birds on the wreath. I cringe to suggest it, but I've noticed that every year Walmart has loads of battery string lights in all sorts of designs and colors.

Nammu · Nov 10, 2022, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Ooh, it all sounds just lovely. I can just picture the little red birds on the wreath. I cringe to suggest it, but I've noticed that every year Walmart has loads of battery string lights in all sorts of designs and colors.

I’ll have to go check that out. But after thinking on it I’m not sure there’s a batty string light that could handle a Minnesota outside temperature. The cold is hard on batteries not to mention the rain and snow.

*Beth* · Nov 10, 2022, 09:43 PM

Quite a remarkable day! I had an appointment with an addiction specialist; he works at the clinic I normally go to. I have wanted to get off Klonopin for decades. I have a vicious physical addiction to the stuff, even though I have not abused it. I have not been successful with stopping it alone, so I thought I'd give seeing a specialist a try.

In 4 decades of seeing pdocs and PA's, so many of them (over 30), I have never had an experience with any doctor who knows his medications, and is as comfortable with the medication process, as this man was today. I was awed. A very gentle-mannered, but confident doctor. He's from India, speaks so softly and calmly.

I've been on K-pin for close to thirty years. Thought it was 20, but was pretty shocked to add it all up and conclude 30. I asked Dr. D. if it's even possible to stop Klonopin after so many years. He looked straight at me, smiled, and said, very kindly, "Nothing is impossible."

This good doctor uses the Ashton Method for benzo withdrawal, which I am delighted about. Very briefly, the method involves replacing a longer-acting benzo with the shorter-acting one (K-pin). There is, of course, a tight schedule to the whole thing. Dr. D. also uses Gabapentin at a much higher dose than I'm on (thank you, Great Universe, for at last sending someone with good common sense my way). And there are other possible meds that can be made use of, if need be.

Dr. D. asked me to inform med dude about the withdrawal plan, which of course I will do, but I nearly laughed. As if med dude would have the first clue of how to manage such a situation. Oh, well. Perhaps he'll learn from Dr. D. 's methods.

The very first step, however, is to halve my morning dose of Klonopin from 1mg. to 1/2mg. That for 2 weeks. Then I have an appointment with Dr. D. And we decide from there how to proceed next.

I feel hope and faith in a psychiatric medicine prescriber that I have not felt for a long time. Decades, in fact.

Nammu · Nov 10, 2022, 10:02 PM

That sounds great Beth.

Fuzzybear · Nov 11, 2022, 07:02 AM

Sounds great Beth (paws crossed)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Quite a remarkable day! I had an appointment with an addiction specialist; he works at the clinic I normally go to. I have wanted to get off Klonopin for decades. I have a vicious physical addiction to the stuff, even though I have not abused it. I have not been successful with stopping it alone, so I thought I'd give seeing a specialist a try.

In 4 decades of seeing pdocs and PA's, so many of them (over 30), I have never had an experience with any doctor who knows his medications, and is as comfortable with the medication process, as this man was today. I was awed. A very gentle-mannered, but confident doctor. He's from India, speaks so softly and calmly.

I've been on K-pin for close to thirty years. Thought it was 20, but was pretty shocked to add it all up and conclude 30. I asked Dr. D. if it's even possible to stop Klonopin after so many years. He looked straight at me, smiled, and said, very kindly, "Nothing is impossible."

This good doctor uses the Ashton Method for benzo withdrawal, which I am delighted about. Very briefly, the method involves replacing a longer-acting benzo with the shorter-acting one (K-pin). There is, of course, a tight schedule to the whole thing. Dr. D. also uses Gabapentin at a much higher dose than I'm on (thank you, Great Universe, for at last sending someone with good common sense my way). And there are other possible meds that can be made use of, if need be.

Dr. D. asked me to inform med dude about the withdrawal plan, which of course I will do, but I nearly laughed. As if med dude would have the first clue of how to manage such a situation. Oh, well. Perhaps he'll learn from Dr. D. 's methods.

The very first step, however, is to halve my morning dose of Klonopin from 1mg. to 1/2mg. That for 2 weeks. Then I have an appointment with Dr. D. And we decide from there how to proceed next.

I feel hope and faith in a psychiatric medicine prescriber that I have not felt for a long time. Decades, in fact.

unlived · Nov 11, 2022, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I got my nausea under control. My anxiety was bad for some reason though so I don't know if those pepto bismols cause anxiety. I fell asleep right away at 4:35. It was a bit of an odd time to fall asleep. I woke up at 8:35 but I only stayed up for a few minutes. Then I woke up again around 11 and I ate a Lunchable and drank a caffeine free Coke. I then fell back asleep until 3:45. So I'm not sure why I slept so long. I felt fine yesterday physically after the nausea, and this morning I feel fine. I'm 4 short on my valium though so I'm trying to cut them in half. So far I've taken one today split into 2. I took one half at 9 and then the other half just now.

This is strange but I don't really remember yesterday after about 1PM and I don't know why. Its like missing time or something. I know my therapy session was at 11 and I remember that. but I don't remember much about what happened after that except that I got very tired early and fell asleep for almost 12 hours.

So idk what went on. But I don't like it when I can't remember big chunks of time. It has happened a couple times recently. I think it started after I got covid.

I'm kind of getting the spacy feeling now but I had Dunkin Donuts new cookie butter donut this morning and donuts can mess with me real bad. Especially the kinds with fillings in them. They can cause me to become really out of it and can cause tunnel vision and dissociation and feelings like I'm going to pass out. I can eat the protein donuts they sell at the health section with no issue. Those are a staple for me. But actual donuts often make feel weird. So I'm thinking that is what is going on today.

I told my therapist about the podcast I listened to where she said how you don't mess with big peoples food and you don't mess with small peoples food. And my therapist immediatly got excited and said "yes!" And went on about this story about her eating a giant half a pizza one time while pregnant and someone commenting on it. Lol. I told my last heavyset therapist that same comment from the podcast and she got kinda pissed at me for saying it and called me a "greenlight" whatever that is, and asked if I really wanted to get better.

I've gotten some weird looks from people before while carrying around a basket at the grocery store with nothing but Lunchables in it but no one ever said anything and the grocery store is finally fully back in stock.

Why don’t you mess with small peoples food?

I mean when I was small I had an eating disorder so I understand from that point of view - but not all small people have eating disorders.

I don’t know the context from the podcast though so just wondering.

Aurelius710 · Nov 11, 2022, 11:13 AM

In all of the chaos of the past day, I realized I haven't taken my meds, morning or night. I legitimately forgot to.

A day or so without meds is not the end of the world for me, but I did notice some traditional bipolar bipolar symptoms come to the surface. Scattered thoughts, a bit of anxiety beyond the norm, and pressure of speech that caused me to have trouble putting my thoughts into words. That might explain the modest sales for the past couple of days. I've got to be focused as much as I can be talkative to make the sale. I'd rather avoid the hypomanic or manic episode, so I made sure to get back into it, med wise.

The Social Security lawyers dropped my disability case as I met the income threshold with my new job. On the one hand, I absolutely make enough money to get by in my area, so I've got no real issue with that reasoning. I've got a small livelihood. My issue is, looking back on all of my academic and health and work issues over the years, what happens when the bottom gives out? Because it has a tendency to happen in my life.

Anybody familiar with the Sword of Damocles myth? A rich and powerful king sits on the throne with a sword hanging over his head by a hair, ready to break at a moment's notice. He has to be ever vigilant, always looking over his shoulder waiting for the thread, the hair to break and cause disaster.

I feel like I'm on that throne, just waiting for something to go wrong.

Mountaindewed · Nov 11, 2022, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Sooo good your nausea is gone @Mountaindewed. I've had several periods of missed time in my life. It's weird and unsettling. I wonder if a lot of people experience missed time, or not.

What the heck is a "greenlight"??

I don't know. I emailed her about it afterwards so she could explain it to me and she didn't respond. At our next session she said she should have just said what she meant instead of using a metaphor. I then asked what a green light was but she told me never mind.

Mountaindewed · Nov 11, 2022, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unlived

Why don’t you mess with small peoples food?

I mean when I was small I had an eating disorder so I understand from that point of view - but not all small people have eating disorders.

I don’t know the context from the podcast though so just wondering.

Its like if you are on a diet for example or just eat healthy and stay on top of your weight in general and the only options are unhealthy foods or resturants, and people refuse to make accomodations for you. Which I understand you also need to be felixble as well. This person on the podcast was talking about how her soy product wasn't avaliable and she was very health conscious so it annoyed her.

Mountaindewed · 04:53 PM

My anxiety was rough yesterday afternoon. I was nauseated again but I was also hungry but food wasn't helping either. The 2 vaIiums sucked but I dealt with it. I woke up at 9 or 10 and stayed up until 2:30. I took my morning meds and ate something before falling back asleep and normally all that will do the trick and get my anxiety under control. But I woke up feeling like crap anxiety wise. I had planned on going out to eat and to Walmart but we just got food to go and went home. Then I got home and I just felt kinda off. I remembered how 9/10 times when I feel like my mental health is getting crappy for no reason its normally something physical. Anyways I fell asleep for 45 minutes and when I woke up I felt a lot better anxiety wise but I have a sore throat and now I'm coughing a bit. This is what happened a month ago. Feeling crappy mentally for 2 days and meds keep going through me. Then I get hit with it. Hopefully its just a cold this time. I woke up and found my mom also napping on the recliner she claims shes fine although she sounds kinda sick.

I'm still feeling badly. Physically mainly. Food just isn't agreeing with me for some reason. My mom says I'm taking OTC stomach relief meds like they are candy.

~Christina · Nov 11, 2022, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Quite a remarkable day! I had an appointment with an addiction specialist; he works at the clinic I normally go to. I have wanted to get off Klonopin for decades. I have a vicious physical addiction to the stuff, even though I have not abused it. I have not been successful with stopping it alone, so I thought I'd give seeing a specialist a try.

In 4 decades of seeing pdocs and PA's, so many of them (over 30), I have never had an experience with any doctor who knows his medications, and is as comfortable with the medication process, as this man was today. I was awed. A very gentle-mannered, but confident doctor. He's from India, speaks so softly and calmly.

I've been on K-pin for close to thirty years. Thought it was 20, but was pretty shocked to add it all up and conclude 30. I asked Dr. D. if it's even possible to stop Klonopin after so many years. He looked straight at me, smiled, and said, very kindly, "Nothing is impossible."

This good doctor uses the Ashton Method for benzo withdrawal, which I am delighted about. Very briefly, the method involves replacing a longer-acting benzo with the shorter-acting one (K-pin). There is, of course, a tight schedule to the whole thing. Dr. D. also uses Gabapentin at a much higher dose than I'm on (thank you, Great Universe, for at last sending someone with good common sense my way). And there are other possible meds that can be made use of, if need be.

Dr. D. asked me to inform med dude about the withdrawal plan, which of course I will do, but I nearly laughed. As if med dude would have the first clue of how to manage such a situation. Oh, well. Perhaps he'll learn from Dr. D. 's methods.

The very first step, however, is to halve my morning dose of Klonopin from 1mg. to 1/2mg. That for 2 weeks. Then I have an appointment with Dr. D. And we decide from there how to proceed next.

I feel hope and faith in a psychiatric medicine prescriber that I have not felt for a long time. Decades, in fact.

I had been on Xanax over a decade and like you my body was use to it. I never abused it. Well…. When I OD’d on them I was transferred IP and I was detoxed off using phenobarbital which I vaguely remember. For years I worried about being forced off them so honestly I was glad I was detoxed because it helps protect against seizures. For 4-5 weeks. After IP I’ve had quite a bit of times I think OMG I wish I had Xanax but honestly I’m better off them. I never want a benzo again.

Hopefully you will be able to make small decreases at a time.

Much love

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Nov 11, 2022, 05:17 PM

Wild. Tampa area is where I grew up. Hope you have a good time

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Nov 11, 2022, 05:32 PM

Steve saw his pulmonologist yesterday and it went well. Slight change in meds. The Doctor also stressed to him if his oxygen level drops he is to get on his oxygen for a bit. Ive been telling him that forever and he ignored me mostly so it’s nice he heard of from the Doctor.

We have squirreled away a bit of money over the last couple months so we can buy Payton’s Christmas gifts. So that’s out of the way thankfully.

I got my cold brew coffee thing. Omg what a huge difference.. no issue with acid reflux, it’s so much smoother so I’m glad I dropped 15 or 16 bucks on it.

We took Gus to get his nails trimmed usually he pukes everytime in the car but I gave him Dramamine and it worked ! Our groomer only charges 6 dollars. Easier than fighting with him.

Well today is the last of Fall temps I think. Next 10 days we are lows in the 20’s

Hello winter.

Nicole was just rain and wind for Amanda so happy that it wasn’t a problem.

Our dog Dexter is grieving Sirius bad. We take him to the pasture and 5-10 mins at most he’s barking to come back in quickly. Him and Sirius use to stay out for hours if the weather is nice. He and Gus look for Sirius a lot

Hope everyone has a nice weekend

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Nammu · Nov 11, 2022, 05:33 PM

Went back to hobby lobby and bought a wreath, red glass birds sitting on pine cones, tiny gold birds and colored glass babbles to wire onto the wreath. At 60% off it was reasonable.

Then went to Walmart to get my chai and check out their battery operated string lights, sadly they were all indoor too. But I did get mum a very pretty long nightgown with long sleeves. Something she’d been wanting.

Then ran to the grocery store for fruit. I’ve been in the mood for smoothies kinda cold for them but oh well. Peeled sliced apples and fruit in smoothies is about the only way I like fruit.

It was trying hard to snow while I was out but there’s just not enough precipitation. But despite the lack of snow, winter has arrived. The high today was 30F feels like temperature of 17F for the rest of the 10 day forecast it never goes above 35F . Brrr. I hope Monday the pool temperature is 90 agin.

Beth I don’t think they make battery string lights that can handle the outside weather.

Victoria'smom · Nov 11, 2022, 05:36 PM

I'm ****en trying. This waiting is killing me, my moods not helping either. I did the best I could Christmas shopping but it has me so stressed out. My car is acting up. That's the last thing I need. I don't have enough for snow tires. So I don't know what to do about this. I'm scattered. Feeling like I'm wrong for just being. don't have my meds for long and I realize I stop eating and sleeping off medication and depression sets in. I'm not doing the best just on the lower does of one of my medication. I am at the point where I'm going to have to pick what medication to fill. I just can't think. I had to explain to my sibling that I eat/sleep BECAUSE I'm on medication not that I grew out of it and still a daily struggle for me. I really thought I was going to have to go IP the other day. I'm trying to figure out so much ****. Like where are we going to stay after the holidays if we don't have an apartment yet. Will we loose our voucher. If that happens then what. My protein shake is out so I have to try a different kind. at least this one I just need 1x a day. I'm realizing how little my food choices are. I just want to be home. My own home, my own bed, I'm getting all this pressure to keep our car when there is no possible way I only make so much these are the consequences of being poor. IDK.

Nammu · Nov 11, 2022, 05:37 PM

@christinaAwwww. I love it when you post doggy pics!

HALLIEBETH87 · Nov 11, 2022, 06:05 PM

Whew!
After volunteering for 4 hours tomorrow I will only need 31 more
Hours for practicum this semester! Even though I’ll be good on hours I’ll still have to go in some so I can get supervision. Just four more weeks til
Fall semester
Is over!!!’n

*Beth* · Nov 11, 2022, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I’ll have to go check that out. But after thinking on it I’m not sure there’s a batty string light that could handle a Minnesota outside temperature. The cold is hard on batteries not to mention the rain and snow.

Oh, no! Will the batteries freeze?

*Beth* · Nov 11, 2022, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Went back to hobby lobby and bought a wreath, red glass birds sitting on pine cones, tiny gold birds and colored glass babbles to wire onto the wreath. At 60% off it was reasonable.

Then went to Walmart to get my chai and check out their battery operated string lights, sadly they were all indoor too. But I did get mum a very pretty long nightgown with long sleeves. Something she’d been wanting.

Then ran to the grocery store for fruit. I’ve been in the mood for smoothies kinda cold for them but oh well. Peeled sliced apples and fruit in smoothies is about the only way I like fruit.

It was trying hard to snow while I was out but there’s just not enough precipitation. But despite the lack of snow, winter has arrived. The high today was 30F feels like temperature of 17F for the rest of the 10 day forecast it never goes above 35F . Brrr. I hope Monday the pool temperature is 90 agin.

Beth I don’t think they make battery string lights that can handle the outside weather.

Well, that's too bad. The Walmart here has a couple of shelves of the lights and they're indoor/outdoor. I don't guess that people who live in the mountains here (east-central Calif) could use that type of lights outside, either. It's horrible cold in the mountains and, of course, snowy.

But your wreath decorations sound sooo pretty, Nammu! It makes me happy just imagining them.

*Beth* · Nov 11, 2022, 07:44 PM

First of all, I want to acknowledge our veterans today. A Special call-out to veterans of the Vietnam War...thank you for your service and welcome home.

I'm struggling, but no worse than usual. Afraid. Lots of fear thoughts and worry. I really believe brains can be wired oddly, or maybe not developed in sync with evolution and I believe that mine is one of those. For example, I fear going to bed and lying there, asleep. Once I'm actually in bed I'm okay. It's the idea that causes me to be anxious.

The best I can do is distract myself by doing things like watching shows on Netflix.

The weather is great; low 60's/highs and around 40/lows. Hopefully, it won't get much colder. I'm so weather-spoiled, lol. Weather brat

*Beth* · Nov 11, 2022, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I got my cold brew coffee thing. Omg what a huge difference.. no issue with acid reflux, it’s so much smoother so I’m glad I dropped 15 or 16 bucks on it.

Excellent! Honestly, no joke, it is really nice to be able to enjoy coffee without paying a price. When I was so violently ill (for whatever reason) in August I couldn't touch coffee and it was a downer to start my day like that.

Well today is the last of Fall temps I think. Next 10 days we are lows in the 20’s Hello winter.

Yikes, wow. I had no idea the temperatures dropped so low in Tennessee. Brrr.

Nicole was just rain and wind for Amanda so happy that it wasn’t a problem.

Good! It's such a relief when our kids are safe.

Our dog Dexter is grieving Sirius bad. We take him to the pasture and 5-10 mins at most he’s barking to come back in quickly. Him and Sirius use to stay out for hours if the weather is nice. He and Gus look for Sirius a lot

Poor babies I'm so sorry Dexter and Gus have to feel sad.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend

Thanks, kiddo. You, too Thanks for the Gus pic. I adore his adorable lower lip. It is so pouchy and pink

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Menu

Bipolar check-in #70

My Support Forums