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  #526  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 08:31 AM
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The girls in their Halloween collars
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PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #527  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 08:36 AM
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So, finally back to work! Eight work days lost was no fun, but I'm back, I'm feeling better and I'm ready to get back to it!

Today is also my Rocky Horror Picture Show night! Luckily, I'm working about 15 minutes from the theater, so I don't really have to leave early if I don't want to. I might come in 15 minutes early, so I can leave 15 minutes early. I can work with either, so I'm not to fussed about it.

My mom is improving day by day. She's at the point where she can mess with an old tablet she has (but never used) and know (halfway) what she's doing. Reading print is still an issue, but that's one that can be realistically resolved with glasses. Overall, great progress on the eye healing!

Getting one of my meds is gonna be a photo finish. I was out of refills on my Abilify, put in the request Sunday evening with the pharmacy and left a message with my PsychNP. I just recieved a message confirming the prescription today. Also, the pharmacy it's been sent to is nowhere near where I work today (I work there tomorrow.), and I run out Sunday. Like I said, photo finish.

Should be a good weekend!
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Fear is the mind-killer.
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I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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  #528  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 08:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
My mom says she doesn't get how I do it and how I never have anything majorly wrong when I go to the dentist. I've never had a root canal. I've never needed a crown. .
Isn’t that pretty normal for someone your age? You’re still pretty young. I’m at least 10yrs older than you and I’ve only ever had I think 2 fillings and one wisdom tooth removed and I’m not that good with teeth hygiene (part of my mental health struggle that I’m trying to improve). I think those things happen more as you get older don’t they?

Glad your visit went well
  #529  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 12:29 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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Originally Posted by unlived View Post
Isn’t that pretty normal for someone your age? You’re still pretty young. I’m at least 10yrs older than you and I’ve only ever had I think 2 fillings and one wisdom tooth removed and I’m not that good with teeth hygiene (part of my mental health struggle that I’m trying to improve). I think those things happen more as you get older don’t they?

Glad your visit went well
Not unless your the Amish who don't believe in oral hygiene or getting dental work done and even the little kids have dentures.
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  #530  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:20 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurelius710 View Post
....

Today is also my Rocky Horror Picture Show night! Luckily, I'm working about 15 minutes from the theater, so I don't really have to leave early if I don't want to. I might come in 15 minutes early, so I can leave 15 minutes early. I can work with either, so I'm not to fussed about it.
.....

*Screeeeee!* What do you mean your RHPS night? Do you go regularly? Oooh, that was my life for my senior year of high school. The greatest fun!

Such good news regarding your mom
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  #531  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:27 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Gah, I'm sorry about the argument @~Christina. Knowing you and Steve, things will be on the mend very soon. I feel so bad for you, having to go through all this stress when you're already having so many health challenges

Dear @overtherainbow, wth with the Emsam?! Can you call?

The girls are darling @Blue_Bird. Will you take them trick-or-treating?
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Last edited by *Beth*; Oct 28, 2022 at 04:22 PM.
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  #532  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:36 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Not unless your the Amish who don't believe in oral hygiene or getting dental work done and even the little kids have dentures.
The Amish people I know take care of their teeth.. we have many people who are Amish in my town.
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  #533  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
The Amish people I know take care of their teeth.. we have many people who are Amish in my town.

Same here. I also had Amish patients and they valued hygiene.
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  #534  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
The Amish people I know take care of their teeth.. we have many people who are Amish in my town.
In some communitys they don't. I went on a tour of a town in Amish country Pennsylvania in 2018 and a little boy who was 3, had a toothache and my tour guide said they were going to take him to the dentist and just yank out the tooth because at least in that amish community they don't believe in it because its considered vain or something. My tour guide said by the age of 7 most kids have had a set of dentures. She said the only thing she would change about the amish if she could would be the dental stuff.
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  #535  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 01:53 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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My spectacular sister died 4 years ago today. She was a mover, a doer, lived an life of electrified energy. Always had a hundred thoughts going on, and what a communicator! Tuned in to people, the kind of person who gave a gift that was so perfect the receiver wondered how "L." knew so well what to give. An observer who was wild about life and wow, did she live it!

My sis was fifteen (middle sister) when I was born and she was my guiding light. I idolized her. She met & married my (abusive) BIL when he'd just returned from Vietnam. He was a roadie and my sister was a vocalist for a rock band that is one of my favorites since forever. L. spent many decades doing drugs and always smoked. When she was 52 she had breast cancer, survived it, continued her career as soon as she could. Continued doing drugs & smoking. I never ragged on her about those things; she did what she did because that was who she was.

I was hysterical at her funeral (she died at age 69 of cancer/drug abuse that had ruined her heart), although I did read a eulogy that I was proud of, because I felt that it truly expressed my deep love for her.

I wish I had photos of her funeral. I could have made a memory book. There were a couple of hundred people there, sharing memories and uniting with each other. When her grave was lowered into the ground, the Jewish custom is for mourners to line up and each person picks up the shovel that is available, scoops up some dirt from a big pile, and tosses the dirt onto the top of the casket ("Ashes to ashes, dust to dust"). Well, the dirt ritual was being done while the rabbi chanted prayers. But then people got in line and tossed mementos into her grave. It was magnificent! The casket was absolutely covered with love people had to give to my precious sister.

I think she died at Halloween time because she loved the holiday and her wicked sense of humor kicked right in.

I miss her terribly, but I truly feel that she is with me. I feel her presence just any time I need her - or she has some tough words of advice for me

Those are my thoughts this morning. I'm off to the store and I do believe I will treat myself to a 3 shot latte. I haven't had one in months.

Bipolar check-in #70
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  #536  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 02:07 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
In some communitys they don't. I went on a tour of a town in Amish country Pennsylvania in 2018 and a little boy who was 3, had a toothache and my tour guide said they were going to take him to the dentist and just yank out the tooth because at least in that amish community they don't believe in it because its considered vain or something. My tour guide said by the age of 7 most kids have had a set of dentures. She said the only thing she would change about the amish if she could would be the dental stuff.

Sorry. You're right. I looked it up and you are correct. That's sad.
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  #537  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
Gah, I'm sorry about the argument @~Christina. Knowing you and Steve, things will be on the mend very soon. I feel so bad for you, having to go through all this stress when you're already having so many health challenges

Dear @overtherainbow, wth with the Emsam?! Can you call?

I've talked to my pdoc's secretary today. Apparently she's been calling the wrong mail room. Then today she got the right mail room but apparently I wrote down the shipping confirmation number wrong. So I got the correct one and sent that to her and hopefully she'll get somewhere. Of course I called the place at 9:20 and was told they'd send it in an hour and I had to call again at 11:15 to have them "resend" it. That 2 hours lost didn't help I'm sure. Now I'm hoping for a message or call that things are worked out.
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Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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  #538  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 02:37 PM
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My Emsam shipped to a mailing code nobody recognizes. So it was put in a room for undeliverable mail and can no longer be accessed.


The secretary called me when she found out; she will speak to my pdoc when she is out of her meeting. She thought maybe they'd re=send but I doubt they'll resend thousands of dollars of meds. She's really upset, especially because she kept leaving voicemails at the wrong room all last week and nobody called her back. I think it was solvable a week ago. My pdoc will be mad. She does not put up with a lot of crap and she is serous about patients getting meds. I need this one so badly that she'll really be upset. Without it I'll be IP in a few weeks.

What a mess.

ETA: My pdoc is working on it and is MAD. Which is good. She is a fighter and will not let me go without meds. The only reason I'm not panicking is I know that.

I still don't understand why a package, wrong code or not, addressed to Dr. Pdoc, wouldn't at least warrant a call to her office to see if the package belonged to her with the erroneous code. It's not like she doesn't work there.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily

Last edited by BeyondtheRainbow; Oct 28, 2022 at 04:27 PM.
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  #539  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:25 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
Gah, I'm sorry about the argument @~Christina. Knowing you and Steve, things will be on the mend very soon. I feel so bad for you, having to go through all this stress when you're already having so many health challenges

Dear @overtherainbow, wth with the Emsam?! Can you call?

The girls are darling @Blue_Bird. Will you take them trick-or-treating?

Thank you, I think they are too. I should take them trick or treating lol it would be cool

I will be giving them their own temptations treats on Halloween though while we watch scary movies together
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
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  #540  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:29 PM
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Sorry I haven't replied much lately, this thread moves really fast, I've been around some just have had trouble focusing, especially since I got 3 hours of sleep the other night and that's it, but I've been thinking about you all and hope you're all doing well, I have time so will be posting over the weekend

I went to the dentist today and got my permanent crown put in. My dentist said I did a really good job being committed and getting all this dental work done. I'm so happy it's finished now, so many appointments I had. All I need is regular cleanings/exams now that it's all done. I'm proud of myself. Now that I'm no longer actively bulimic and am recovered I will hopefully not have this amount of damage happen to my teeth again in the future.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, Fuzzybear, Mountaindewed, Nammu
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow, ~Christina
  #541  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Sorry I haven't replied much lately, this thread moves really fast, I've been around some just have had trouble focusing, especially since I got 3 hours of sleep the other night and that's it, but I've been thinking about you all and hope you're all doing well, I have time so will be posting over the weekend

I went to the dentist today and got my permanent crown put in. My dentist said I did a really good job being committed and getting all this dental work done. I'm so happy it's finished now, so many appointments I had. All I need is regular cleanings/exams now that it's all done. I'm proud of myself. Now that I'm no longer actively bulimic and am recovered I will hopefully not have this amount of damage happen to my teeth again in the future.
That’s great news! Congratulations 🎊
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  #542  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
That’s great news! Congratulations Bipolar check-in #70

Thank you Nammu!

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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
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  #543  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:58 PM
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I’ve had a so-so day. Sleep has been rough the last couple days so I stay in bed late. This morning I didn’t get up till 9:30 and mum was already in the shower so I had to wait. Then took mum to her PT appointment.

After that I took a good amount of the food from Ruby’s pantry to my daughter’s house. We chatted until she had to go pick the kids up.

Tonight I might be going to a musical. I’m not sure if it’s at the art center or the theater. But it’s just a token amount and it’s rock and roll, so yay!

Just ordered solid perfume in stone containers. Haven’t seen it for years but Amazon has it. Too bad they don’t have my favorite perfume oils by the body shop. I really miss that store.

Sorry this is disjointed. But I’m sort of scattered today.
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
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  #544  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 04:59 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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Hope you get some better sleep Nammu, lack of sleep is so frustrating.

The musical sounds like fun! hope you have a good time

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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Nammu
Thanks for this!
downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu
  #545  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 05:05 PM
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I went to an art group thing yesterday downstairs in the community room. Just did mindful coloring and talked to the case manager who colored with me. I was feeling very sped up because of only sleeping 3 hours the previous night and had tons and tons of energy and was having trouble calming down but it helped. I was able to sleep well last night a full 9 hours

I signed up for a turkey basket so I get a whole frozen turkey I can cook and stuff for sides I can make too. I need to figure out what to do with most of the turkey after I cook it though. It’s just me, I don’t want to waste it. So I’m trying to find out if you can freeze freshly cooked turkey for future meals

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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Nammu
Thanks for this!
downandlonely, ~Christina
  #546  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 05:13 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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Today my anxiety was really low because I took my meds properly for once. I slept badly and I had a lot of caffeine and I was hungry. I ate a ton of fruit for once which I never do. I wasn't happy with the increase in hunger, but I was grateful for the break in the severe anxiety and I guess that proves peoples point that its nutrition and med related.

My last therapy office sent a second text. So I called them and they said I owe $508 from telesessions from March-May 2021! They certainly can come after you for a long time. Anyways I had to call my old insurance who says I don't owe anything and they are going to work it out with the office.

Besides that I didn't do much today. I went fruit shopping early this morning. I got some golden berries and the only way I can describe the taste is "scary" we got pizza for dinner. My brother in law is delivering our quarter cow tommorow. I'm still waiting for my prescription toothpaste to be ready

Yeah not much going on
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  #547  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
Today my anxiety was really low because I took my meds properly for once. I slept badly and I had a lot of caffeine and I was hungry. I ate a ton of fruit for once which I never do. I wasn't happy with the increase in hunger, but I was grateful for the break in the severe anxiety and I guess that proves peoples point that its nutrition and med related.

My last therapy office sent a second text. So I called them and they said I owe $508 from telesessions from March-May 2021! They certainly can come after you for a long time. Anyways I had to call my old insurance who says I don't owe anything and they are going to work it out with the office.

Besides that I didn't do much today. I went fruit shopping early this morning. I got some golden berries and the only way I can describe the taste is "scary" we got pizza for dinner. My brother in law is delivering our quarter cow tommorow. I'm still waiting for my prescription toothpaste to be ready

Yeah not much going on

I never heard of golden berries , will have to look them up and see if there’s any at stores where I live.

Hope you get the bill straightened out

I find I used to crave fruit very strongly when I used to lack good nutrition,l from going through restricting phases of my ED. maybe because of the vitamins in it. I don’t know. But fruit is good. Has fiber I think too

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__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Mountaindewed
  #548  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 07:33 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
You have every right to be disappointed and grumbling. It’s been one thing after another for you and Steve. Maybe you should give voc rehab another shot. Yes they drag their feet but I bet they could help put you in a better work environment.

Thanks ! I do think I need to give them a try for sure !

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  #549  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 08:07 PM
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My breast MRI is Tuesday and post-op and mammogram on Thursday. Anxiety is suddenly really high this evening and I'm fighting a panic attack. (ETA: I never actually had a panic attack. Just in case that's not clear. I'm sort of ok, sort of shaky still but I'm ok.)

I think it's hitting now because I was busy all day. I had a much-needed hair cut, a very expensive Walmart trip, a trip into CVS to get my meds because the car pick-up line was out to the street and then a trip to the library and then the bulk food store on the way home. Compared to the last few weeks that's probably 4 days worth of activity.


I took some gabapentin but if I don't feel less panicky soon I'm going to have to take klonopin. Which isn't a bad thing exactly, just I don't know what happens if I take it now. Oh, and lots of deep breathing.


Typing here is helping ground me. Thank you to everyone who has read this far as I'm afraid this may be jumbled.


I just want this over with. Other than knowing that laying face-down for the MRI will be uncomfortable I'm mostly worried about the mammogram. Last time I had one they immediately did a 3D one and then ultrasounds of both breasts. I assume that will be true again if anything is unusual which it will be. And that just is the cycle I was in all winter: test, abnormal result, test, abnormal result, repeat. I don't want more biopsies or surgeries. I guess this time would have the difference that I won't do it until my genetics testing comes back. I'll do that when I am at the hospital and it takes 2-3 weeks to come back. But those results determine how things proceed from here.


I really wish I could talk to my pdoc. She's the only person I know who has been through this. I am hoping to see her in person in Nov. We'll see.

That's another mess. I get my Emsam patches through patient assistance. They send the patches to my pdoc and they give them to me (or mail them if I'm not coming that month). Well the hospital mail system is slow. It's taken 2-3 weeks to get from the package being signed for until it gets to my pdoc's secretary. But this time it's been 5 weeks and no sign of it yet. I have about 15 patches left. There is proof of delivery so I assume the hospital will replace it if they don't find it (one box (or 3) is more than my monthly income) but I'm getting really stressed. I have emailed twice letting them know I'll be at the hospital next week and can pick it up so there's not more mail time but they haven't answered or updated. It's really freaking me out. I NEED that med....

And that's enough. I've settled down so thanks for listening. Maybe I'll manage to get to sleep early tonight since I took that gabapentin earlier than my usual scheduled dose. That would be good.

Hun you have 1001 things going on. I’d honestly be stressing over your Mammo and testing that follows also. Your fear /concern is legit.

I’m sure getting your gene testing will help because at least you have more info even if youd rather not know. My SIL finished her last chemo for breast cancer today. We hope and pray that’s all she needs. It was caught early.

Here’s hoping you can just pick up your med. Waiting for that has to be very stressful. It’s a shame it can my just be sent directly to you from manufacturer. Seems everything has to be more complicated than need be.

How’s your weather ? Still enjoying Fall or has Winter decided to come rushing in? How’s Abby ?

Leonard sounds like a total jerk to put it mildly. He should never be allowed to do that stuff !!!

Much love

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  #550  
Old Oct 28, 2022, 08:11 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
The girls in their Halloween collars

They look so damn cute !

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