Bipolar Check-in #72

I never did that, but I do remember that being a thing

Yeah, everyone except the people that can do something about it/are profiting off of it knows our system is fccked.

I just got a $2000 bill from an IOP I went to IN 2019 that my insurance supposedly covered! Not paying that shyt.

I slept fine last night. I've been taking one melatonin and managing with that ok. I fell asleep at 7 and I woke up at 2:30 or so. Around 3 I chugged a 20oz vanilla Coke then threw up a bit by accident on my white T shirt. I think I chug stuff to avoid being hungry. I'm sure my therapist would be pleased to hear about this incident. Anyways I stayed up and then I got out of bed at 5:30 and I took a shower. My mom got up early because she had to go out at 8. so I didn't have my normal time to myself to watch TV. My chai pudding turned out decently for a first try. I drank a non decaf cup of hot coffee and then a cup of decaf. I had a bottle of Hint water and a can of cherry vanilla Coke too. So I've been feeling kinda blah both physically and mentally today from all the caffeine. Overall I guess I'm doing ok.

My mom came home and asked if I was feeling ok because she threw up while she was out. Now I don't know why my stomach feels off although I'm still betting the coffee didn't help.

I took one of my gastro meds and a zofran and I feel better. My overnight oats turned out pretty good too. I made them with light coconut milk instead of dairy or almond milk so it was really creamy. I tried making overnight oats once before but it didn't work well.

This skinny girl I knew in treatment who is my age was kinda *****y and she got into a lot of arguments with people and was just in general rude. She said to me one time "I HaVE AuTIsM." Now shes fat and has a non verbal autistic 2 year old she has no clue how to deal with and she is begging people to be nice.

Weird how karma gets you sometimes.

How do you tell if you're psychotic? I don't know if I am or not.

I can tell when I'm getting psychotic because I become more paranoid, become obsessed with angels/demons, and start hearing specific voices.

My mom is lying down with a stomach ache and so am I. I took another one of my gastro meds. I'm not sure what we have, but it doesn't seem to be totally anxiety or food related. or in my head either.

I feel like everyone is talking about me and judging me. That’s the beginning.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unlived ...

It's wonderful that you won't have to be burdened with worrying about paying a fortune. No one should want the American system. I've experienced the health care in France and was stunned at how fluid it is, how unencumbered by massive financial stress.

I am concerned that most people don't realize how absolutely bizarre this weather is for California. For hours of rain and wind early morning, I have never heard rain bashing down so hard for such a long time. Mudslides are happening because the soil beneath the soaked wet is parched as a result of the years of drought. The reason I'm concerned is that here we are, next to the ocean, and look at this climate change...it cannot be ignored or dismissed. I'm afraid of what's happening to the ocean and sea life.

Personally, the bleakness has gotten to me. There's too much water, it's imbalanced. I am afraid that everything I touch is going to be soaking wet. I think I'm feeling a bit crazy. It's not funny, it's really not funny. I'm just really fed up with the USPS screwing up my mail.

Back to the laundry room.

I woke up at 10:30 after going to bed around 10pm. I got back
Up 2pm
For awhile. Then I fell asleep at 3. Just got back
Up at 6

I had a good day. Took my time this morning getting to see mum at around 11am she was just out of the shower and eating breakfast. Then I went home for awhile and watched the first couple of episodes of hot in Cleveland. Then went to a small restaurant where I had their specially, sweet potato tots and a Bloody Mary and read for awhile. Then went back to see mum and found her in bed never having ate lunch. So got after her to push the button and order supper. She didn’t order much and ate less but we watched TV together for a bit. Felt so normal watching wheel of fortune together.

Walked to Dunkin ate, cleaned up the house a bit, then fell asleep. Woke in time for dinner, built a bed ready to sleep again.

Is she in a nursing home?
bizi
sorry I was gone for 13 days over the holidays and have not been able to catch up here.

No, the hospital. But they are sending her to a nursing home next to get stronger before coming home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I had a good day. Took my time this morning getting to see mum at around 11am she was just out of the shower and eating breakfast. Then I went home for awhile and watched the first couple of episodes of hot in Cleveland. Then went to a small restaurant where I had their specially, sweet potato tots and a Bloody Mary and read for awhile. Then went back to see mum and found her in bed never having ate lunch. So got after her to push the button and order supper. She didn’t order much and ate less but we watched TV together for a bit. Felt so normal watching wheel of fortune together.

That does sound like a good day. I'm glad.

Pouring rain for hours. People, this is absolutely insane. Mother Earth is doing something. If Mother Earth has a mental illness, what do you think it is?

Respect Mother Earth
And her giving ways
Or trade away
Our children's days.
-Neil Young

Glad to read of at least some minor improvements in some people's health. I hope that continues. Cool09, I'll respond in your thread.

My sister and nephew got covid, despite vaccinations. I sure hope my brother doesn't get it. Instead of my sister taking him to appointments this week, one of our aunts (late uncle's wife) kindly volunteered to. I haven't seen her since my uncle's viewing service a few years ago. Hubby and I didn't get covid again, but we had it last July.

Busy week ahead of us. Good news is that I don't have diabetes, but am still pre-diabetic. I need to cut out more sweets. It's been a years long fight against negative metabolic effects of antipsychotics.

I can’t believe there are still climate change deniers, honestly. Co side ring all the insane weather systems that are forming all over the world, breaking records everywhere. Here in NJ it’s been unseasonably warm for pretty much the whole winter. I’m enjoying it but I know it’s unnatural.

Stay safe in the rain! I hope there’s no more flooding in your house!

I have the metabolic effects too, but fortunately not pre diabetes. Just the rest that goes with that. I get it every time I’m on an antipsychotic and every time I go off it magically goes away. Makes me so tempted to quit. But then my life is a mess. Eh, one one hand metabolism syndrome, on the other hand crazy messed up life. Guess I’ll take the metabolic disorder?

I just saw a man called Otto with N3 and his gf Friday evening. I thought it was good but it does have a sad ending.

Yes. In fact that’s a scene in a new movie coming out- arm movements and all. My cousin taught us this when I was 11 or 12 which we all did together.

My mawmaw is back in the hospital

Yeah I saw Judy Blume on the Today Show the other day and they showed that part from the movie. I never read that one but I loved the Fudge books.

I took a covid test last night and I was negative. I ate bread for dinnner. My mom ate potato chips. We just felt sick but didn't know why. I slept fine. I look crazy skinny though. I feel sick, like a sore throat, cough type sick, when I'm lying down on my side. I've just been calling them night colds. I was going to mention it to my doctor next month in case my thyroid nodules are maybe causing issues or something. Also my pee looks like I ate a neon yellow highlighter and I have no idea why. My anxiety has been fine though all day.

I keep forgetting I have therapy tommorow. If she were my transference T I'd be put IP for sure. No matter what was causing the food issues. My current therapist isn't so dramatic about the food thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Yes. In fact that’s a scene in a new movie coming out- arm movements and all. My cousin taught us this when I was 11 or 12 which we all did together.

Yes, the movie is based on Judy Blume's novel Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. I'm so excited about seeing it!