Bipolar check in #73

Your signature prayer is awesome!

@*Beth*

I did email her to cancel and she says shes sorry I am sick and she'll cancel my appointment but that she'll be thinking of me.

Its hard to get mad at them or stick up for myself when they are so understanding.... like I plan to say something and then they act like that and then I chicken out.

I learned how makeup worked in 2017 from watching drag queens put it on, in this show I like watching called RuPauls Drag Race. I still have no clue what kind of makeup they are using though.

Yep. There’s a momma bunny living under the deck. Every once in a while they’ll hop up on the deck and stare into the family room. If Sir isn’t around I yell bunny! He comes running, to swish his tail at them. Even more rare is if a cat walks by. This is mostly a dog neighborhood. We haven’t seen a cat since our classiest neighbors got a golden doodle. Never goes out of their yard. And all the neighbors have fences for their dogs. The only way we know there’s so many dogs is that they take them for walks. We live on a big d shaped subdivision and I think it’s only the three houses on this end that don’t have a dog. We have a cat. So just two on the division without any animals. There should be deer too, but it’s been even longer since I saw a deer here. A couple of years ago a magnificent heard came though.

Been a busy and stressful work week. Nothing I can't handle, but still stressful. Several issues I couldn't solve despite a tense back and forth between me and customer service and, in some cases, me and the customer when they realized they weren't getting what they wanted. Another customer put words in my mouth that put me in direct conflict with the management at one of the Wal-Marts I worked at. Basically, they tried to say I made an executive decision I have no authority to make, and I'm very conscious of the limits of my influence and decision making. Oh, and one of my work pants became unusable on the way to work yesterday, so I spent my Saturday working in black and white cow print sweatpants!

Anyhow, all the conflicts got straightened out, but working with everybody made me conscious of a huge workplace difference between selling phones for MarketSource and working for Wal-Mart.

Basically, I feel trusted. I feel my bosses see me as competent and capable at my job. They know that if I have issues that require outside intervention or even just outside advice, I'll be on the phone with them. They trust me to do my job with minimal supervision and exercise good judgement along the way.

Wally World did none of that. I feel like I'm still unlearning all of their toxic practices. I never could "own" the job(s) while I worked there and that bugged the living crap out of me.

I'll be leaving in a few minutes to pick up my mom for Sunday service. Beyond that, I'm on God's good humor!

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger "scarfing" = eating? sorry its a term I'm not familiar with, i'm just guessing what the word means The whole forum knows Beth is a amazing lady

Thank you, sweetpea Yes, "scarfing" = something like gobbling food all up

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed @*Beth* I did email her to cancel and she says shes sorry I am sick and she'll cancel my appointment but that she'll be thinking of me. Its hard to get mad at them or stick up for myself when they are so understanding.... like I plan to say something and then they act like that and then I chicken out.

Write it down and carry the piece of paper in your hand when you go to your session. When it's in your hand you have to read it to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yep. There’s a momma bunny living under the deck. Every once in a while they’ll hop up on the deck and stare into the family room. If Sir isn’t around I yell bunny! He comes running, to swish his tail at them. Even more rare is if a cat walks by. This is mostly a dog neighborhood. We haven’t seen a cat since our classiest neighbors got a golden doodle. Never goes out of their yard. And all the neighbors have fences for their dogs. The only way we know there’s so many dogs is that they take them for walks. We live on a big d shaped subdivision and I think it’s only the three houses on this end that don’t have a dog. We have a cat. So just two on the division without any animals. There should be deer too, but it’s been even longer since I saw a deer here. A couple of years ago a magnificent heard came though.

Aw, bunnies are so cute, and deer are lovely, aren't they?

Once I lived in a house close to the river, so we'd get possums, coyotes, deer, and raccoons. A mama raccoon had 3 babies under our house. Raccoons are adorable, but they are notoriously mean and dangerous; they will attack. I was on my porch one night and I guess the mama felt threatened, because she came out, stood on that porch and growled at me. It was scary! She was large and showing her teeth, grrrr. I backed up verrry slowly, opened the screen door so it was between her and I, got my key out of my pocket and unlocked the door to go inside. The whole time she was snarling at me.

I called a wildlife rescue and they came out to catch and rehome (near the river) the raccoon family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I learned how makeup worked in 2017 from watching drag queens put it on, in this show I like watching called RuPauls Drag Race. I still have no clue what kind of makeup they are using though.

My step-father was a drag queen (seriously). I learned from him how not to do make-up. He totally over-did it.

Welcome to the forum, @added

Something is very very wrong with me. For one thing I woke up and I was 4 pounds less then I was yesterday. Then a couple hours later I crapped my pants. No joke. I wasn't even sleeping. Just listening to music. I had a stomach ache but I had just gone to the bathroom. It majorly freaked me out and annoyed me at the same time because I was just like "what is going on?" That hasn't happened since I was 5 and I was sleeping when it happened back then.

Since then I've had diarrhea off and on throughout the day and nausea and chills and loss of appetite. My temp the last time I took it was 96.3. I took some pictures of myself and I look super skinny in a not good way. Currently I'm just huddled under some blankets with my beanie hat on and the hood to my hoodie up trying to get warm. My mom got me a few Gatorlytes. Like the Gatorade version of Pedialyte. I'm not sure what I'm fighting but it is for sure not fun. I see my doctor in the morning on Tuesday.

Being a Tomboy was just who I was. My oldest sister though she was all lady. She is 11 yrs older than me. So I don’t remember a lot about her except boys showing up to take her out. Wigs, white shoulder perfume and an array of cosmetics. That was the 60’s she had teased hair and a flip. She worked in a five and dime, saved her money and bought a power blue 65 mustang. My three sisters and I are so different.

I went to the gym on Friday and today. I'm actually weaker than before my trip. I had a hard time on the elliptical and with the weights. I guess that's to be expected after a 10 day break.

I had a little too much whiskey last night, but it was late so I just went to bed and slept it off. My wife noticed that I was a little unsteady on my feet. I won't be having that much again anytime soon.

My anxiety is up and my mood is down, which is nothing new.

I often think about the 30 min my depression lifted while I was in the ocean last week. It doesn't help my depression now but gives me hope that I can experience it again, maybe some day for much longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Being a Tomboy was just who I was. My oldest sister though she was all lady. She is 11 yrs older than me. So I don’t remember a lot about her except boys showing up to take her out. Wigs, white shoulder perfume and an array of cosmetics. That was the 60’s she had teased hair and a flip. She worked in a five and dime, saved her money and bought a power blue 65 mustang. My three sisters and I are so different.

White Shoulders! I remember that cologne. Oh, goodness, my oldest sister also wore her hair teased and in a flip. She looked so pretty. My other sister worked as a secretary to save for a candy-apple red convertible Mustang. I loved that car. She'd take me for wonderful rides, we'd listen to music on the 8-track

Oh I am sorry about your mom. I had been off the forums for a while and just today noticed this post. Know that she loved you and you loved her.
bizi

So after many tears, as usual for me now a days, and conversations we are officially not going to my nephew's or sister's wedding ( my husband was supposed to be best man for one and officiating the other). My mom wants us to at least go to the one he was officiating but it's going to cause to much hardship on us. It sucks. We are stuck in this city until at least our health problems get dealt with. Money can't fix the problems. Though we're bleeding money since we moved.

Oh no I’m sorry you hurt your back Try gentle stretches before you even get out of bed in the morning.

Speaking of not liking the kitchen.. when we went to Florida for those dreadful 8 months the kitchen was so tiny and the lay out made zero sense. I hated cooking there. My kitchen is small but the layout is much better.

That’s awesome you’ve made it to all your classes ! Pat yourself on the back ! Well once it’s no longer painful

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I’ve spent more time in bed this weekend that I should but I’m struggling with really terrible sinus headache. Tis the damn season

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I am sorry for your head stuff, sinus headache...

do you have flonase?
It is an over the counter relief of allergies.
hope you feel better asap!
(((((HUGS))))
fluids lots of fluids.
bizi

How's the gabapentin working @~Christina?

Yesterday my son’s kindergarten rang at 9:00 am to pick him up. He had a runny nose. Even though covid negative. So made the 1 hour trip all the way back with him. Got today off work. Was hoping it would mean I could sleep in but nope here it is 3am and I can’t sleep. Bugger. He’s okay was running around yesterday like he wasn’t sick. Might just go pick up some new sheets for my bed today mine are torn. Either today or on Saturday.

hows your son now, hitch?

And hows our hitch?

The ****ing meds have been approved. The whole world has not gone mad.

This morning the world was dark with big huge fluffy snow barreling down. So I cancelled aqua fitness. Five minutes later the snow stopped! I thought it was the beginning of what they said was going to be significant snowfall. But no, that starts Tuesday night.

So I went back to bed to try and change my disturbing dream into something with a better outcome. But I couldn’t recapture the dream. But it was indicative of high anxiety. All the unknowns I’m facing now. In the dream I was Losing time, fragile things breaking, government indifference.

Today I have to go out and get food for the coming storm. Not looking forward to it as there will be a ton of other people doing the same thing. But all I have in the fridge is chai and two salads. At the very least I need my cheese that I eat with my medicine.

Therapy went well today. Had some rough patches last week but got through them. Cake and ice cream later for my birthday . I’m 32 today .

EDIT: I thought I’d share this with you. My mom usually buys a cake for my birthday but forgot this year to order early enough to get one made. Instead she had to do some sleuthing and ended up with this. She got a great price…. Just not sure what a my mom, a diabetic, and myself are gonna do with 1/4 a sheet cake. Haha! Gonna have some left over to share with you guys some get some!