Bipolar check in #73

I took the prescribed heartburn med. No real issues or side effects yet but I just took the 3rd dose half an hour ago. I slept good last night. I got my huge mess of a room cleaned for the first time in 2 days and I took a shower for the first time in 3 days both made me feel pretty good. I watched the Today Show and then the fatigue settled in and I've been lying in bed since. Still no word about my blood tests. My anxiety and moods have been fine. I mainly just need to ask my pdoc about the steroids. My issues do not involve him and my mom agrees too. My mental health has been fine since the increase in Prestiq and my weekly shots. Its this viral thing and vitamin D which have been kicking my *** this last month and 5 days. Hopefully I'll start to feel better soon

I do wonder about something like Chrons disease though. I even have the cold sores in my mouth. The steroids are to treat this thing so we'll see if it is a viral infection.

I talked at length with my pdoc about the thoughts I'm having. No med changes. Sure wants me to see her in 2 weeks but to call her if the thoughts become intrusive.

The thoughts are at the moment like smoke blowing past me. They present themselves, see if they can get a foothold, and pass on if I don't respond. That last part is the tough part, but I'm trying my best just to watch them pass. The problem is that they are so attractive because of the depression.

I got up around 4am this morning. My pdoc said it's common to wake up early in the morning due to what else... the depression.

My pdoc initiated a referral to the ketamine clinic again. I've been on the wait-list for a long time.

Thank you for asking about that, Beth! I will try to use a schedule, fixed out of bed time in the morning, fixed go to bed time in the evening, proper meals, daily physical activity and I will try to use CBT-tools.

I found it necessary to start up again with a CBT therapist. I need somebody to drag me along the road for a while.

Congratulation!

Sorry I've not been keeping up. My depression is really bad and I can't follow much. I'm going to have my Emsam increased but it has to get to my pdoc and then be mailed ot me. I don't think it will be here until next week some time. Until then I'm hanging on.

I'm still reading to the best of my ability and hopefully I'll be able to respond more soon.

So my mom called she's upset I'm not trying to save my teeth ( uh ... Cost) they're doing the best they can but I worry if I go for a higher level of care insurance will pay less than with the predoctoral students. So whatever. I don't know. Everything costs money. No one can help but everyone has opinions. I wish I had the money but then I wouldn't be in this mess. They're going to try and save what the can but it doesn't look good. Basically my gums are loose, I don't care much because I'm depressed. I'm just proud I made it there. They had me on a different floor than h. We're not doing that again. He will be with me next appointments. Hopefully they figure something out.

Hmmm no idea why I said Gabapentin lol I should try and go back and see what I was typing about lol

I’ve been on top dose of Lyrica 150 mg BID since I started

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Maybe try journaling about it ?! Something might pop up .

Stay safe

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How exciting, HALLIEBETH! I hope the day will be wonderful and your marriage long and happy.

Thanks. That’s amazing that your MIL lived a much longer life than expected. Maybe my Aunt will get lucky. I had planned to go to town and call her today. Maybe tomorrow.

Amanda is much older than the age groups this class action suit is geared towards. I think there’s a very small chance that Tylenol could effect anyone in this way because how could they really know is my thinking ?!?! It’s not like baby power and Ovarian cancer links.

How’s the kitchen going? Back on track ?!

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Thanks Blue ! I

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I love watching snow fall too ! Stay warm

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Happy to see you

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I have run out of steam trying to catch up today. I’ll try again tomorrow friends

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Not insensitive at all. I believe the same thing. The dream was about letting go. Logically I know mum is better off now. Those last 6 months were hard for her as she couldn’t really do her word puzzles or read much because her eyes were bothering her. But emotionally it’s hard. At first it was like I was still waiting for her to come home, but I saw her everyday she was in the hospital and nursing home. Then I didn’t see her. So the reality settled slowly over me. It was sad, but also a great comfort.

I'm so glad there was comfort, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosi700 Thank you for asking about that, Beth! I will try to use a schedule, fixed out of bed time in the morning, fixed go to bed time in the evening, proper meals, daily physical activity and I will try to use CBT-tools. I found it necessary to start up again with a CBT therapist. I need somebody to drag me along the road for a while.

Wonderful, Rosi! That's some good stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Sorry I've not been keeping up. My depression is really bad and I can't follow much. I'm going to have my Emsam increased but it has to get to my pdoc and then be mailed ot me. I don't think it will be here until next week some time. Until then I'm hanging on. I'm still reading to the best of my ability and hopefully I'll be able to respond more soon.

I'm thinking of you, Rainbow.

Unbelievable experience today. I'm still asking myself if it's real, or did I dream it? Has our health care system degraded THIS badly? I see that Amazon has started a huge health care program, much of it located in and around San Francisco, and I'm keeping it on the back burner as a possibility for health care, including psychiatry.

SIX weeks ago I made an appointment for this Friday to see the new pdoc. I have waited the 6 weeks, even rearranged my entire sleep/life schedule so I can be at the appointment Friday morning (new pdoc works mornings). This afternoon around 3 p.m. I got a call from the clinic telling me that there's no room in the new pdoc's schedule and so sorry, but- can't see ya!

W.T.F.

I have stopped seeing S. because he is so inexperienced and negligent. Haven't been to that clinic for a month. Now I've been told that I do not have any psychiatric care. Bang. Dropped.

I lost it. For one of the very, very few times in my life I literally could not get off the floor. I was hysterical. I will be out of Prozac Friday night. I had asked the b-it*h on the phone what I'm supposed to do, she mumbled something about not knowing what to tell me.

I managed to get the phone and call my therapist (same clinic, a different department). I honestly do not recall everything that happened, except that I kept calling and calling numbers. Somehow, there was M.'s voice telling me to breathe, that I was having a panic attack and had to breathe. She said I was hallucinating. I don't know what I said that made her say I was hallucinating. I was unstrung. M. said they had six weeks to tell me this, why had they waited until less than 48 hours, I remember she said that. And I know she asked me to give her until tomorrow (I see her tomorrow) to figure out what's going on, that we will work this out.

I feel so scared I don't even know how I'll sleep tonight.

I looked out of my bedroom window, though, and overnight the apricot tree has blossomed. It's so beautiful.

Anyway, I'll take all the good vibes I can get. Thanks.

@*Beth* purple healing vibes ✨

Beth

Thank you @Nammu and @Fuzzybear your kindness means so much right now.

Beth I'm so sorry . Can you go to an urgent care?

You're in my thoughts Beth, I hope things settle down for you and that you're able to see your therapist.

Hope that you will have your prescription for a higher dose of Emsam soon.