Bipolar Check-in #74

You're worthy of love!

Samicat, I had a Narcissistic mother also. It messes with our minds in so many ways.

I also agree!

Christina, I'm sorry I missed this (I'm only just catching up with some of the posts) I'm so sorry about the psoriasis flare and hope it can be reversed soon. Much love

@Samicat

Please take your grief serious. You found a woman who became some sort of a mother like person to you. It is good that you met her. You liked her very, very much. It is natural to feel grief.

Of course you are worthy of love. We all are and you are not an exception!

Let the grief loose for some days, let your tears come. When the first days have past, put up a "grief-time". I mean it is very difficult to function to the fullest when in grief. It can be worth trying to do the things you need to do, but if the grief comes in a very strong manner, let it come outside of your grieftime. With "grief time" I meant that it may be more easy to do your daily duties if you have set apart a special time each day to grieve, to think about what you shared, your happy moments, your laughs and your struggles if there where any.

Slowly, slowly you will find back to a more normal life! Use your grief to build your future. Be kind to yourself, have some cups of the tea you like, or hot chocolate ... Make nutritious meals!

If the graveyard is far a way, you can make your own "graveyard". I did that once, I draw a grave-stone, with the usual cross at the top and the name and more. Find your own way to do it. The important is that you have a special place to grieve and slowly, slowly let the grief process heal you.

I hope you don't feel this as a way of intruding in your life. It's just some ideas I wanted to give you that you can use as they are or inspire you to find other ways to try to function and still give room for the grief.

I wish you well!

My uncles girlfriend has been in the ICU for a few days. She got sick from her 13 year old grandson who lives with them. I guess she is in pretty bad shape. I like her a lot although she doesn't quite get me being trans and word vomits sometimes. But overall her behavior hasn't changed towards me. Shes a breast cancer survivor and also a smoker. So she isnt in the best health in general.

Yeah, I'm kinda worried.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your friend sounds like an amazing person.

I still feel sick. I think it was partly that zopiclone, partly something else...

I agree. I've found this with too many irl, they carelessly become mean, more so than before.

I have the worst awful stomach ache. Pain, nausea and vomiting. I don't know what's wrong. I ate all familiar foods yesterday. I've been up since midnight with it, so 21 hours now. I've had mysterious stomach pain before tho. Starting to feel dehydrated. It's probably just trapped gas. I had that before and it disappeared as mysteriously as it had come. Hopefully this will too.

Yes same medication.

I’m sorry you had to deal with a idiot

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Sure if you want to share my PM is always open

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Thanks !

I hope the hot water heater won’t be a ongoing problem. We went with a tankless water heater after ours started leaking it was really old but I was still mad when we realized it was leaking ! Like I literally started stomping around like a 3 year old lol

The joys of home ownership

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Give yourself grace while grieving the loss of your friend

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Oh Jane how dreadful Can you try and push fluids to avoid dehydration? I know it’s hard when you feel so awful.

Take good care of yourself

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What a long day. I feel like I’ve been awake for 273 hours

Hope I can sleep tonight !

Hugs all the way around friends

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I hope you get sleep tonight.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Sorry you experienced this as well. Mine I think had undiagnosed BPD as well as narcissism. She could be nice but then incredibly cruel. I'm shocked I survived but then I did have 2 years of therapy right after leaving home at 19.

Honestly I knew when I was 5 that I would one day be describing the interactions with my mother on a therapist's couch. I knew pretty early what a therapist was, and I wanted one!

THANK YOU to all who responded to my post about my friend's death and that I am lovable. I too believe that everyone is lovable and deserves love, and I do know my friend wasn't in her right mind because she had left a previous message on my voicemail where her husband was audible in the background telling her what to say, just basic things like "ask her to call you back."

Even when I had spoken to her a few weeks previously, she wasn't herself. As I said she had 3 tumours in her brain, as well as cancer throughout her body. It would be unjust, not just to me but to my friend, to assume she didn't care about me because she didn't articulate that.

My stomach ache is almost gone! I've been able to drink lots and eat a bit. Whew, what a bizarre thing that was. I only slept fitfully but i'm just mostly glad the pain has all but stopped.

@~Christina:

Thanks for wishing me well and right back at you re the psoriasis flare.

4am and I’m awake. Got work today. Won’t go back to sleep. I’ve had the last 2 weeks off with the move. Not looking forward to going back. Need to wrap my head around what I’m teaching today since I planned the lesson more than 2 weeks ago. Ughhh I don’t feel ready in the slightest.

I hope you can at least get some sleep

Ugh. I need a time out! My sister, bil, nephew his wife and my nephews son, his wife and two kids are here tearing the house apart. They came to take the dinning room table and put the beds in the garage, but man oh man they are just taking everything. And measuring stuff and taking pictures to post online to sell. I’m still living here! My poor blind Sir is so confused and underfoot. I locked him in the bedroom. He’s never in all his years with me been confined.

I'm sorry this is happening in your home. I believe it's not uncommon, though. It happened after my paternal grandmother passed away.

It likely won't be a significant issue after my dad's passing, but we have worried about people (strangers and not so much) coming in, while my brother is in the hospital, and stealing stuff. My sister took precautions and took out the more valuable stuff. Not to take, but to protect.