Bipolar Check-in #74

Samicat · 03:05 PM

My friend dies today.

She may already be gone. On the plus side she will be away from cancer and all the struggles of this world. Rest in peace, my friend.

On the minus side I have lost a good friend who was a bit of a mother figure to me. I have lost a fellow writer. I have lost a kind, compassionate friend who was a boon to the world - she was a Christian minister who practised what she preached-- tolerance and acceptance, kindness and forgiveness.

She was a children's author of five books that sold well and were imaginative and fun. She was a fine human being.

And I will miss her.

~Christina · Mar 30, 2023, 02:47 PM

Congratulations Soupe on getting moved in ! Sorry things aren’t truly finished but I’m thrilled you can finally sleep in your own bed! That will probably make things better over all. Grieve the loss of youre Dad when the waves hit. As Scooter said it’s okay to move on with your life. Our loved ones would never want us to get stuck.

Scooter ! That’s great you have a trainer to help with goals and adjustments to push you but in a attainable levels.

Nammu .. I sure hope you find him soon

Soupe du jour · Mar 30, 2023, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I found him!!! He was up on a shelf in the dark unfinished part of the basement. I think he got lost and confused. He’s blind now and he was with the Christmas boxes. Oooooo poor guy. I immediately gave him some food and he ate it down.

I'm glad to read this, Nammu. It's too soon for you to have to experience another loss. Sir surely felt relieved when you found him. I hope there are plenty of cuddles, as a result.

Soupe du jour · Mar 30, 2023, 02:52 PM

@Samicat, sending hugs. I'm sorry you lost your good friend.

~Christina · Mar 30, 2023, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I found him!!! He was up on a shelf in the dark unfinished part of the basement. I think he got lost and confused. He’s blind now and he was with the Christmas boxes. Oooooo poor guy. I immediately gave him some food and he ate it down.

Great news !!!

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~Christina · Mar 30, 2023, 02:56 PM

Samicat. I’m so sorry your losing such a wonderful person. Please do be kind to yourself during this rough time

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Nammu · Mar 30, 2023, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samicat

My friend dies today.

She may already be gone. On the plus side she will be away from cancer and all the struggles of this world. Rest in peace, my friend.

On the minus side I have lost a good friend who was a bit of a mother figure to me. I have lost a fellow writer. I have lost a kind, compassionate friend who was a boon to the world - she was a Christian minister who practised what she preached-- tolerance and acceptance, kindness and forgiveness.

She was a children's author of five books that sold well and were imaginative and fun. She was a fine human being.

And I will miss her.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Scooter9 · Mar 30, 2023, 07:24 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss @Samicat. You at least had the friendship of someone you admired and that will be with you forever.

JaneOnceMore · Mar 30, 2023, 07:29 PM

The excitement over that guy from my ZOOM group has passed nicely. I think i was just aroused by telling the story of my Scrabble journey to an interested party. But he wrote back and while he responded in a satisfying way, he has to move unexpectedly, so he's got bigger things on his mind. It was just a passing fancy. Thankfully!

@Soupe du jour:

Congratulations on being in your own home and your own bed at last! Sorry there are still loose ends to tie up around your house. I hate having workmen in also. I had electricians in last year for most of a day. When i left to take my dog out i warned them not to have any wild parties. They said, No problem, we'll wait until you get back! Rascals!

@Nammu:

So glad you found Sir! I'm glad he ate, must have been hungry. My girl is ten and i am not looking forward to her old age. She's a dog tho and not many places she can hide in our kingdom of 450 square feet!

BeyondtheRainbow · Mar 30, 2023, 07:34 PM

I don't know why and I"m not going to question it but today I felt better. Not 100% but better than I have in months. I think there is hope this depression is actually going to end. And next year we're going to treat pro-actively at the time I got depressed this year and last so hopefully this is clear for a long time. I've never had Emsam take so long to kick in but it has and now I just have to wait for it to reach full effectiveness.

Mountaindewed · Mar 30, 2023, 09:23 PM

My orange guy Crookshanks I think is slowing down. I rescued him when he was at least 5 and that was over 5 years ago. So he is pushing 11. He is grumpy but I love him and I'd be devasted if I lost him. I'm for sure getting a dog after May. My brother keeps talking about a beagle. I want something small but its not like I want to replace Crookshanks with a dog. I want both my cats and a dog.

Anyways I fell asleep for a few hours this afternoon while watching CNN and when I woke up I saw the news and I was quite happy. My therapist told me to lay low and not go out the next day and keep groceries at home. Idk. I think shes being paranoid but I'm not quite sure.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 30, 2023, 10:35 PM

I feel uneasy, keep feeling bugs and I’m
Nervous but excited about my future

Rosi700 · Mar 30, 2023, 10:38 PM

@Soupe du jour Congratulation with the new house! If it becomes too burdensome with workers going in and out, maybe you can take a walk or only find a place outside to be alone with your thoughts?

Oh yes, the grief will come and that is OK. Let it come when it comes. It is the persons who fail to let grief in that have problems later. I missed my father for a long period after he was gone.

Send my best wishes for you and your husband!

Rosi700 · Mar 30, 2023, 10:42 PM

@Nammu , Sorry to hear about Sir! I hope you will find him soon!

~Christina · Mar 31, 2023, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I don't know why and I"m not going to question it but today I felt better. Not 100% but better than I have in months. I think there is hope this depression is actually going to end. And next year we're going to treat pro-actively at the time I got depressed this year and last so hopefully this is clear for a long time. I've never had Emsam take so long to kick in but it has and now I just have to wait for it to reach full effectiveness.

Hooray !!! One good can roll right into others

Continued prayers for you

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Fuzzybear · Mar 31, 2023, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

@*Beth* Remember that Boots said that if she was to be sent back to the state hospital she'd be kept in the ER for a month before being transferred. I assume that's what has happened and hopefully she'll make her way through the system soon. What a long time to wait.....

Boots I hope you are able to return some day

Fuzzybear · Mar 31, 2023, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I found him!!! He was up on a shelf in the dark unfinished part of the basement. I think he got lost and confused. He’s blind now and he was with the Christmas boxes. Oooooo poor guy. I immediately gave him some food and he ate it down.

Nammu

Rosi700 · Mar 31, 2023, 03:50 AM

@Samicat I am sorry about your loss of a good friend!

Rosi700 · Mar 31, 2023, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I found him!!! He was up on a shelf in the dark unfinished part of the basement. I think he got lost and confused. He’s blind now and he was with the Christmas boxes. Oooooo poor guy. I immediately gave him some food and he ate it down.

Good news!

Nammu · Mar 31, 2023, 08:18 AM

I find myself having moments of great despair. Where I wonder what the point of it all is. The whole of humanity looks rather silly and pathetic. I think we should be wiped off this earth. There’s just a fruitlessness to existence. I get a great empty hole in my soul and miss mum. Then it passes. We are just temporary visitors to earth. This morning it all seemed pointless. I canceled aqua fitness because what’s the point. Then Sir came and laid on me. He makes it better. I guess that’s grief. Experiencing grief in a stable place is new for me. I don’t have to let it drag me down.

Blue_Bird · Mar 31, 2023, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

My orange guy Crookshanks I think is slowing down. I rescued him when he was at least 5 and that was over 5 years ago. So he is pushing 11. He is grumpy but I love him and I'd be devasted if I lost him. I'm for sure getting a dog after May. My brother keeps talking about a beagle. I want something small but its not like I want to replace Crookshanks with a dog. I want both my cats and a dog.

Anyways I fell asleep for a few hours this afternoon while watching CNN and when I woke up I saw the news and I was quite happy. My therapist told me to lay low and not go out the next day and keep groceries at home. Idk. I think shes being paranoid but I'm not quite sure.

I hope Crookshanks has many more years with you

I have a 14 year old cat , she’s grumpy too but also really sweet most of the time. She still plays sometimes but she mostly likes to relax and chill out, my 1 1/2 year old cat is always bothering her lol

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Mountaindewed · Mar 31, 2023, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I hope Crookshanks has many more years with you

I have a 14 year old cat , she’s grumpy too but also really sweet most of the time. She still plays sometimes but she mostly likes to relax and chill out, my 1 1/2 year old cat is always bothering her lol

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My almost 5 year old long haired black cat still acts like a kitten. He gets into everything and meows so loudly at everything and everyone. Crookshanks gets along with him for most part but they sometimes annoy each other.

Scooter9 · Mar 31, 2023, 12:28 PM

Good to hear that you're feeling better @BeyondtheRainbow and that there's a treatment plan for next year.

Scooter9 · Mar 31, 2023, 12:34 PM

Be kind to yourself @Nammu, you've been through a major life event.

Grief for me came in waves too. Gradually the gap between waves got longer and during those breaks I worked on acceptance. It took me a year and the grief is still with me but it's easier to live with.

Scooter9 · Mar 31, 2023, 12:41 PM

I was working on something this morning and got totally stuck in my head. I knew what I had to do and how to do it but I couldn't go forward or backward.

So I said to myself, why fight with it? So I went to the gym. I was going to go anyway, I just went a few hours earlier.

The workout was hard but manageable. It's a rest day tomorrow and back at it on Sunday.

I had another odd night. Lots of waking up. I gave up at 4:30 and embraced my wakefulness with a couple of cups of coffee and read my book.

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