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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,695
(SuperPoster!)
14 53.8k hugs
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#781
@Soupe du jour. That sounds wonderful, I’m so glad you got out. Oo a pet again, how wonderful! I’ve never had birds but I’ve heard it’s better to have two.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Soupe du jour
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Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,155
8 13.4k hugs
given |
#782
Quote:
We'll have an indoor cage, but would also likely have an aviary set up in a greenhouse we're planning, during appropriate months. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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Nammu, wildflowerchild25
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,498
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,887 hugs
given |
#783
Quote:
I swore there was some product called a Nook at one point but I'm too lazy to look it up and I'll have to google it later. Just some weird **** memory of mine. __________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jun 24, 2023 at 02:56 PM.. |
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bizi, Rosi700
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2022
Location: Overseas
Posts: 757
1 2,850 hugs
given |
#784
Quote:
I am glad to hear the two of you went out! You needed a pause from everything. Hope you will find your new birds soon. I hope I am not sounding not polite, but is it possible for you to not look at your sisters mails in the morning? I know how hard it can be to change habits, but if you start with delaying looking at them first and then try to put it some hours out of your view, perhaps that will help to make your mood more stable. You have gone through more than enough in the last weeks. __________________ There is always hope ... |
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bizi, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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Soupe du jour
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Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 369
1 2,287 hugs
given |
#785
I'm very bored and frustrated today, but i know it could be much worse. Like my hair is not standing on end with anxiety and i am not behaving outrageously due to hypomania. It's just uncomfortable and tiresome. I tried activity after activity but i couldn't tolerate any of them. But i'm not in any physical pain, i am safe, and i have peace, quiet and privacy. I guess that will have to be enough.
@buddha1too: Thanks for your support! Yeah, this mild depression is lousy, but better than the consequences of hypomania, fun as hypomania is. It's for the best. Hard to feel grateful tho. |
bizi, buddha1too, Nammu, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,634
8 1,680 hugs
given |
#786
The paranoid and fatalistic thinking from the other night isn't going away. But then again, maybe it isn't paranoia after all. One of the competing representatives has made it clear she's willing to try and undermine me and hasn't hesitated to try and sic the store's department manager on me to force her agenda. I had discussions with the man where, essentially, I heard her words coming out of his lips. It's really petty stuff and fully in line with the playbook I've experienced most of my life. "You don't want to listen to me? I'll move heaven and earth to make you listen!" I'm not her subordinate. I'm under no obligation to do anything she says or indulge her beyond simple politesse. Apparently, that cannot abide!
At any rate, I have another way to do the task she was whining about me doing (with no comment or muss or fuss from anyone until this afternoon), if only to shut her up. It'll cost me $40+, but anything to maintain the peace, right? Also, my weekend has officially started. I don't work until Wednesday, so, venting aside, I'm not going to worry about work and work related purchases until Tuesday night! I need the time to destress! My dogs need time to stop barking too! __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
bizi, buddha1too, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,634
8 1,680 hugs
given |
#787
On a slightly more positive note, my parents said their goodbyes to Buddy-Dog and even got him the small headstone they were thinking about. Basic epitaph: "He was our BUDDY" and gave the years of his life.
All that said and done, they found someone who was willing to give them a Shih Tzu puppy. They named him Buddy as well. I voted for Buster Keaton but what can you do? 🤷 Buddy 2 looks like Buddy 1 but with brown and white fur rather than black and white fur. Got some pictures of Buddy 1 and Buddy 2 as well. __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
bizi, JaneOnceMore, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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bizi, Nammu, Rosi700
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,251
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,416 hugs
given |
#788
I've not posted on here in quite a while. I've been reading but not responding. I had my 3 day trip to the city for my high-risk breast testing and appointments, then my annual physical, then the next week had a 2 day trip to the city for my pdoc (scheduled at a weird time and I couldn't drive up that day because I can't drive until about noon b/c of sedation. Then the next week was getting ready for vacation and I was on vacation for 10 days. And since then I've just been catching up on life.
I'm on a diet now. I'd lost 15 pounds and then got depressed and gained it back. I was diagnosed pre-diabetic at my physical so I not only need to lose the weight I need to lower my fasting sugars and A1C. I have 6 months to do this before I'd have to start diabetic meds. The good thing is that I was barely in the pre-diabetic range so hopefully it will be relatively easy to lower my labs. Diet aside I had a wonderful vacation and have been enjoying cooler temperatures that let me be outside comfortably which doesn't usually happen this time of the year. So all is pretty well except I'm hungry and have eaten most of my calories for the day. I also have been having insomnia but that's just the way it goes for me. I'll try to participate more now that things are settling for me. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
buddha1too, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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Rosi700
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,155
8 13.4k hugs
given |
#789
Quote:
Not impolite advice at all! Common sense. It is hard to fight the compulsion to look, but I need to do so. Not hearing from my sister yesterday made a huge difference in my mood. This isn't to say that I want to shut her out long-term, though. I just need a break. I want this to be over asap. I know she feels the same. I do worry that the whole selling of part of our dad's property (on the market) is causing anger and rifts. After that's all done, my sister wants to "buy me out" of the remaining property. Already she only wants to offer me a ridiculously low amount. I don't want to force it be put on the market (against her wishes), but offering me too little would cease to mean I get 50%. Yes, compromising is needed, but me getting notably less than 50%? I'm not a fool! And that wouldn't be nice of her. I'm not rich to be giving my inheritance away. She already has more wealth than me. "Buy outs" between siblings are bad news, I think. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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Nammu, Rosi700
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Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,621
9 5,143 hugs
given |
#790
I feel... stable. How boring! My hypomania/mania has officially come to an end, and I'm not depressed either.
Boo hoo about the mania though. I was feeling quite euphoric for awhile there. __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. |
HALLIEBETH87, Rosi700, wildflowerchild25
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 735
12 2,547 hugs
given |
#791
I'm having a rough day...
Last edited by buddha1too; Jun 25, 2023 at 05:47 AM.. |
Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 735
12 2,547 hugs
given |
#792
Today is my sixty-something birthday. 2023 has been rough, so I don't feel like celebrating. My brother-in-law passed suddenly on January 29, leaving my sister to grieve him while also dealing with end-stage cancer. My sister died on March 10...six weeks after her husband. My two nieces now have no parents to go through life with. If there was anything to prop me up during that six weeks, it's the fact that I was able to be there for my sister . I was mentally stable and sober. That is a miracle. I have over 20 years of sobriety, but I think the events of 2023 were the biggest hurdle I've had to face during those years. Cheryl was my little sister; we were supposed to grow old together. It hurts to think of her. Her phone number is still in my cell phone, and I often think I should call her. And so it goes...
Today I'm going to a Detroit Tigers game with a group of folks in AA. There won't be a keg in the bus. I'm not telling anyone it's my birthday. I just want today to pass without muss or fuss. I'm still in mourning. I hope everyone has a good day, everyone. |
BeyondtheRainbow, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 735
12 2,547 hugs
given |
#793
@ Aurelius710[/MENTION] I was sorry to read of your parents' Buddy #1. Losing a dog, or cat is almost worse than losing a family member. I'm glad Buddy #2 was waiting in the wings.
@Soupe du jour I was sorry to read that the BS your sister is dishing out continues. I'm glad you are thinking of buying another bird. You can teach it English so you have someone other than Hubby to talk to! @BeyondtheRainbow I am glad that your medical procedure is in the past. That situation must have been an anxiety-producing. As for your weight gain, I'm right there with you. I'd lost 28 pounds, but fell off the weight loss wagon. |
BeyondtheRainbow, JaneOnceMore, Soupe du jour
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Aurelius710, BeyondtheRainbow, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,695
(SuperPoster!)
14 53.8k hugs
given |
#794
Quote:
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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buddha1too, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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buddha1too
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,155
8 13.4k hugs
given |
#795
@buddha1too, first off, Happy Birthday! I understand wanting the day to pass quietly, given all of the extremely sad recent losses. However, you still deserve to be celebrated, my friend. I hope in some way you and Maureen will do so, if not today, then within a few weeks.
Losing a parent, a sibling, spouse, or worse, a child, is so so extremely hard! And yes, a beloved pet, as well. Honestly, it's hard to even know what to say in comfort, as I've only recently lost both my father and brother and attended their funerals just a few days before my own birthday last month. I also lost my mother about 18 years ago, and still deeply feel the pain and loss. My family lost my youngest nephew to suicide, when he was only 24, back in 2017. I've also lost beloved pets, and have felt deprived without one for a while. Death is such an inevitable trauma, for sure, but we must go on and do our best to savor the days that we have. I'm glad you've been stable. That made it easier for everyone. Anyway, I'm sorry for your losses. Do take the time to grieve properly. I hope you and your nieces have therapists that can assist with this most terrible process. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. Last edited by Soupe du jour; Jun 25, 2023 at 09:41 AM.. |
Aurelius710, buddha1too, JaneOnceMore, Rosi700, wildflowerchild25
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Aurelius710, buddha1too, JaneOnceMore, wildflowerchild25
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2022
Location: Overseas
Posts: 757
1 2,850 hugs
given |
#796
Quote:
Glad your vacation was good. When it comes to Diabetes, don't panic. Physical training and eating right is what you have to do. Take a walk for 20 minutes every day or go to the gym or swimming hall. When it comes to planning meals, it is about reducing sugar, eat lots of vegetables and legumes + nuts (without salt). Am sending you over to the American Diabetes association with regard to get ideas of what to eat. (I am a diabetic 2 myself). Diabetes Food Hub __________________ There is always hope ... |
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BeyondtheRainbow
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BeyondtheRainbow, buddha1too
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2022
Location: Overseas
Posts: 757
1 2,850 hugs
given |
#797
@Soupe du jour Of course you shall have 50 %, (Basta).
__________________ There is always hope ... |
Soupe du jour
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Soupe du jour
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2022
Location: Overseas
Posts: 757
1 2,850 hugs
given |
#798
Quote:
I am sorry for your losses and since you don't want to fuss up your birthday I only send a flower (behind the back). () __________________ There is always hope ... |
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buddha1too
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buddha1too
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Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 369
1 2,287 hugs
given |
#799
I made an effort to be grateful today. It was partially successful. I had a quiet day at home because of the thick smoke. It's so thick at first i thought it was fog. Smells like a campfire outside. Some yahoos were playing tennis. Wha?
@buddha1too: A gentle happy birthday. |
buddha1too, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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buddha1too, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
11 9,563 hugs
given |
#800
Had kind of a boring weekend. In between numerous thunderstorms, it was too hot and humid to really do much outside. Saturday morning we did go for a nice long walk before it got too hot and stormed. Today I attempted to go for a walk but had to turn around pretty quickly because of another looming thunderstorm. It was sunny but there were ominous clouds to my left and I heard a couple of gentle rumbles. Better safe than sorry.
We did take my mom out to lunch. I’m going to attempt to get her out more. I have to have a serious talk with her about the house, but I’m going to wait to see what the siding people say. There’s extensive damage to one of the window frames because a shingle fell off awhile ago and rain got in, rotting out the wood. So that window definitely needs replacement, along with the big box bay window. I’m going to wait for the siding guy because then I’ll have a professional’s opinion to take to her. Hopefully she’ll start to see sense. But I’ve decided I can only do so much and if she doesn’t want to accept the help for whatever reason then I can’t get myself all worked up about it. Tomorrow RS is going to the turnpike for his interview. He will be working until 4:30 if he gets the job and if he ends up at the yard with his friend it’s a 45 minute commute. So he won’t be getting home until well after five (right now he’s home around 4:30). There’s also a lot of overtime and some Saturdays. I will have to get used to him not being around as much. This is where it would be useful to have actual friends that I could talk to. But I’m just not social. My only two friends are my two sisters in law and I can’t really even call them friends anymore because I so rarely talk to them anymore. So I’m very alone. I have a lot of trouble trusting and getting close to others for fear of being judged for my illness. All my friendships with coworkers are surface acquaintanceships. And I just don’t go out in my community. I always wanted to do the NAMI groups but they’re all during the day and the DBSA group is at the hospital and I don’t like going there. But the turnpike would be a wonderful opportunity for RS and for us as a family. State benefits, he’d get a pension, life insurance, state holidays, two weeks’ vacation time, and sick time. And it’s reliable, the turnpike sure isn’t going anywhere. So I’d just have to find ways to entertain myself. Walks, gym time, maybe try some new recipes. I’ll have to come up with a list of things I can do alone. I spent five years alone after my first husband died so an extra few hours a day won’t be too hard I’m sure. Just take some getting used to. I have ECT on Friday, I’ve done very well in the last three weeks without it so if I can get down to once a month for now as maintenance that would be fantastic. Maybe I can fully skip my winter crash if I keep the maintenance ECT going. I don’t have to worry about winter for a good while though. Just enjoy the summer off! __________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
buddha1too, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, Rosi700, Soupe du jour
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