Bipolar Check-in #75

Well I had my fireworks tonight. I could see several illegal shows from my 6th story window, plus the background lighting going off. Was quite the show.

I’m thinking of going to an early showing of Indiana Jones but I’m still undecided about driving so far on a holiday. There’s no theater in town anymore so it’s 35 minutes away by interstate.

For some reason it won't let give hugs or thanks tonight. So if you posted today pleased consider yourself hugged

Well I've been dumped as a potential friend, it seems.

A woman in a writing group was very friendly with me. We had many conversations. She talked about her sister she is estranged from who has Bipolar 1, has gone off her meds and behaved badly. I stupidly mentioned I have Bipolar II. She immediately got colder.

Sorry to hear this @Samicat! Feeling with you in your pain!

There is nothing we can do about it when other people ignore us, like trying to sit as far from us as possible at a meeting and so on... We have to learn to look past such experiences and try to act as naturally as possible (as if we haven't noticed).

I know it is easy to say so, but it will happen again and again as long as we live. I have found it best to ony tell few people about it. Some people say that if others cannot accept them as they are, they can go. I think that we cannot expect others to know about our diseases. Even for us it took time to learn enough about it in the beginning. (In this case your "friend" has experienced something that probably has scared the "heck" out of her and she does't know the difference about I or II, or may be between medicated or not medicated).

I try to forgive people. It isn't easy, but it is helpful. It can be difficult to move on when one has to be together because one belongs to the same group. I try to do relaxation exercises before I have to meet people I know look down on me. Then I try to bring that relaxed state with me into the group and behaving so naturally as possible.

It doesn't always work, but it works more then it fails.

Am sending you a link about the health benefits of forgiving:
Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It | Johns Hopkins Medicine

I'm just a bit agitated today but things seem better now. I didn't sleep good last night. I fell asleep with stomach pain at 7. Then I woke up with stomach pain at 11. I took tylenol which helped, but I still couldn't get to sleep until 4 something when I fell asleep until 6 or so and I woke up in pain again. So I took some Advil which I shouldn't be doing, and I've been feeling ok pain wise ever since. Advil is the only thing that seems to eliminate the pain and makes it so I can actually function.

I was tired and pretty crabby this morning but a Mountain Dew and a frozen coffee helped. I'm working on my closet today. I have so much in it and its the only part of my room that I still need to organize/ clean out.

An onslaught of emotions today. Feeling quite on the negative side and want to crawl in a hole so I don't bring anyone down with me. In all honesty, despite the court stuff coming up, this has been the best time of my life because I am actually interacting with people and being present in the world after being hidden behind my computer for well over a decade.

I just keep getting shaken with the What ifs? I wish I knew how to turn that off.

My day has been soso. Some start difficulties in the beginning of the day, but the day became better as the hours went. I hope to have a better start tomorrow and to be able to follow my planner. It is important to rebuild these habits now, so that they work almost perfectly when Autumn comes and when the Seasonal Affective Disorder starts it grip on me. This year I want to have the grip on it!

I like how proactive you're being!

I am sorry she got colder to you.
bizi

I hate fireworks. Sets off my ptsd stuff really bad. Makes me remember the gunshots

If I were discriminated against because of my race, or my gender, would you be sending me an article about forgiveness?

So it's interesting that I posted about someone discriminating against me and rejecting me due to my mental illness, and I got told I should forgive them.

If someone discriminates against me for my race, or because I am a woman, should I forgive them?

Why is it that we hold some bigotries accountable and call them out, but not the bigotry against mental illness?

I actually didn't hold it against her, but it HURT me like a sword in the stomach. It really ****ing hurts. So, is it okay that she is bigoted against me???? I don't think so. If I cut off someone socially because I find out they are gay, is that okay??? Should they forgive me? I think not.


Why is it okay for someone to mistreat and be cold to someone with mental illness?

I did my physical rehabilitation again today! That makes two days in a row! I haven't done that in 15 years! I was sore when i got up and thought i might not be able to. But after about an hour i felt ready. Yay!

@Samicat:

I'm so sorry to hear the woman you were friendly with had a bad reaction when you said you have bipolar. I've only ever told two people and in both cases there was nothing to gain by sharing. It's really hard mixing with healthy people. I hope you make another friend in your writers group, one who is more open-hearted.

@BeyondtheRainbow:

Congratulations on your weight loss and best of luck moving forward!

@Nammu:

Hope you enjoyed the movie, if you went. Sending good wishes that your poor hand is on the mend.

I saw the parade from my window this morning. Then I went to the afternoon showing of Indiana Jones. Traffic wasn’t bad at all. All most everyone in the theater was my age. A couple families but mostly couples and singles my age. Haven’t been in such a large crowd in decades. Usually when I’ve gone there’s only 3-4 other people. The movie was great, as someone else said, it’s a great swan song for Ford. A good day.

Well I made a Facebook post about how people should not be judged or discriminated against for things including race, gender, and mental and physical illness. I said that someone had become cold towards me when they learned I had mental illness, and that I was told I should forgive them. I said **** that - it's not my job to understand and forgive her bigotry. It's up to her to overcome it and do better.


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I am so glad I stood up for myself.

Great. They’re setting off the big ones. I’m so anxious already

My heart is in my throat. My anxiety is sky high. I know what the noise is. I know I’m
Safe but I’m still
Reliving it

It took most of my days off, but my foot is nearly healed. Just in time to get back to work, but at least I'll be walking! I'll probably look into an insole when I head in to stave off any more foot problems.

So sorry. My sister-in-law has a dog who is terrified of fireworks and he just shakes and shakes even though they give him a tranquilizer from the vet. They are also bad for the environment. I just signed a petition a few weeks back to have a light show instead of fireworks for Canada Day. Apparently in Europe they have some kind of fireworks that don't make the noise. Hope you got through it okay.

I took my prn klonopin and went to sleep
Eventually

Samicat, I have never been against any particular race. To grow up in Western Europe and read about topics like how black people were treated in USA, made me feel sad and ashamed about how they (the black skinned) were treated. There were other population around, I felt for, as well.

When it comes to gender, I did walk in the 8th of March demonstrations years ago, because it was important to me to show that I didn't accept to be treated in a lesser good way then men because I was a woman.

Now I am sick and weak (have several physical disorders) and I am older with little energy. So I let the younger people protest for themselves and live well with that my time has passed.

Your question is not so easy to answer, as you perhaps think it is. Because it touches around what is most healthy for a person with some kind of mental illness. I think that the question has to be linked to the fact that we all are different. Some people will become worse of protesting all the time. For such I believe it would be wise to pick the cases they want to fight for and, for their own health's sake, learn to let other topics go and find more healthy ways to cope with them.

There are also values attached to your question. May be you and I have different values with regard to some topics. As far as I have understood it, you met this person in your writing group. To me it is very important that all the others in the group feel well. If there was one person in a group I participated in who overlooked me, I would have pretended that I didn't notice and been in a forgiving mood (inside myself). If the person would be so demonstrative in her behavior toward me that all the others noticed it, I would have said something. What would have happened next, would have depended on what answer I got. In an extreme case, I would have been very clear about that I am not someone to play with.

When it comes to my answer to you, I gave the answer I gave because I thought it could be one of many ways to overcome this situation for you, with the knowledge I had about the situation then. I took the time to care about you ... We forgive for our own sake, not because we want to be kind to the other. The premise for forgiveness is always that something wrong has been done.

There is evidence that forgiveness can help some people included people with bipolar disorder. (Robert D. Enright & Richard P. Fitzgibbons, Copyright 2000 by the American Psychological Association).

Since you asked if I would have given that link in other situations, I suppose that you didn't like it. I am sorry that you felt it that way, but hope that if others read it, that they probably can find some value in it for situations in their own futures. Forgiveness has to be of one's own choice, not as an automatic response without meaning.

May the rest of your day be good, Samicat!

We all participate here in the hope of getting and giving support. Sometimes it can happen that the support we give is not appreciated. So it is here and so it is in life in general. Now that I am aware of how you feel about forgiveness I will never take that topic up with you again. Thank you for letting me know!

This has been a good day for me! I jumped out of bed and did my morning ritual right away (physical exercises, repeating my tools, doing relaxation exercises). I have been out for a walk and I have been able to work for some time.

I hope that my tomorrow will continue at the same level.

You misunderstand me. I am not opposed to forgiveness and in fact I have forgiven her, but I still called out the situation (not her by name) on social media because in this day and age it is simply not acceptable to discriminate against someone on the basis of that person having a mental illness.

I’m still healing from my dental surgery but I am feeling better. When I first wake up, I’m in pain and have nausea. It was more extensive than first thought. Because I grind my teeth so hard in my sleep, I broke two teeth. One in my right lower side and one in my left upper side. Put that together with my biopsy on my tongue for possible cancer and I’m left nibbling stuff with my front teeth like a rabbit. It’s aggravating. The two teeth extracted will be replaced with implants.

I have made the decision to attend the family reunion. My sister talked me in to it. I think I’m making the right choice.

Mom and I got doughnuts and Arby’s and watched Macy’s fireworks spectacular from the comfort of our AC seating. It was phenomenal. Really enjoyed it.

Have not felt like floating much with my dental issues. I set a goal of Friday to get back to it.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.