Bipolar Check-in #75

did she have a lawyer, will?
I am sorry that your family took out treasures,They probably never asked you a thing about what you wanted.
I am sorry for you. think positively if you can.
and contact a lawyer if you think that would help.

Oh, we all put the antiques in the garage for the garage sale. My sisters aren’t pushing me out. I have a year but I want to be moved before it snows and the place I applied to isn’t getting back to me. If I had more than just SSDI I could have said I wanted mum’s stuff and I would have gotten it. But the reality is I need sec 8 or the place I applied witch is tiny. I’m number 7 on sec 8 list but they stopped giving them out and closed the application. It could be years now. That’s why I need to hear from the hud housing.

No my sister who is in charge of the process is being nice about it. She’s paying the utilities while I’m looking for housing. It’s just hard to be in this situation.

I am sorry for you they should let you stay there as long as you need to.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Mum’s will said a year. At that time we thought sec 8 would be a matter of months. So that seemed long enough. I can’t believe we’re half way though May already!

I love this loxapine **** I'm on. I can be creative on it without getting all paranoid and weird and delusional. I've been writing my novel like crazy! Above the 20k word mark. I'm just so excited I'm on an AP that keeps the crazy away but still let's me be as creative as I want and actually ALLOWS me to be creative. When I was on Haldol I could just barely write.

Anyway, just felt like sharing that. I'm feeling pretty damn good!!!! I think I'm hypo though, but oh well. I'll just take my prn seroquel today.

Anyway, so if you're an artist, writer, musician, etc., who wants to be creative WITHOUT going crazy I highly recommend you go on loxapine lol

Is this your first IOP program?

I've been IOP twice. Both times were good experiences for me. I got to see a pdoc everyday and go home at night and be with my family! I think you'll like it.

Yesterday I was in a ton of pain all day. Today I found out that if I combined my sucralfate and my bently together, both of which I take 4 times a day, my pain basically disapears. I still get really tired after taking them and I still napped today. But things are way better than yesterday where I slept half the day and still didn't get much relief. Total I've lost 5 pounds. I think its just from the meds. 3 pounds this week and 2 last week. Even though I've felt crappy physically my moods have been ok especially today.

I had the dubious pleasure of dealing with my father and my cousin over the course of the weekend. Both of them wanted to assert their "dominance" and/or blame me for their troubles.

My parent's house has a recurrence of bed bugs. Nasty little buggers, as I well know. My father called me to list his troubles as a set of grievances against me. I have not been to their house for six months. I cannot be the cause, as he seems to dementedly think. Also, it's become apparent that he cannot tackle the problem on his own, but he stubbornly refuses to involve an expert because (and I quote) "they'll fleece ya!" Pest control is expensive, but at this point, he's spent thousands more (he replaces furniture willy-nilly) because of his ego. But sure, blame me for your problems.

The kicker? I'm at a point where I'm going to need financial help very, very soon. I still have two weeks before I can get back to work. Dad won't help, even though he has the means, and I can't even get a face to face to ask my mom. He's restricted access in the name of his ineffective DIY pest control.

I'll play the dutiful son and give him the name of a guy I know that does extremely effective bed bug pest control. I can only lead Dad to water. It's up to him to go for it.

Oh lord when it rain it pours. Today my sister came over to mark more stuff and things were going fine. Then she heard what sounded like a waterfall. The pipe to the outside faucet burst 💥. Water everywhere. I got mum wet shop vacuum out and started sucking up the water. The vac holds 10 gallons we emptied it 8 times but the last time it wasn’t full. Man. More boxes got wet. My back didn’t quite last the day. It stated spasming and I thought it was because we hadn’t ate and it was past 2. So I stopped, made soup and sandwiches. My nephew came over found the hole. Then my daughter came over. And my nephew brought some of the boxes upstairs for me to go though cause pain wise I just couldn’t stand any more. So hopefully we can get a plumber here tomorrow. Fortunately my nephew said I could take a shower with no problem. I’m very much in need of a shower. Was such sweaty work that my hair was soaked. And still the garage stuff is only half marked as we had to deal with the basement. Oh, the house is falling apart!!!! I’m so glad my sister was here to hear the pipe. Ohhh 😮 man, what a day!

On the plus side we may have sold all the antique cabinets. We sent pictures around to everyone and got lots of inquirers.

Bizi currently we have a car. It was impounded because of street cleaning. So we're going to have to get rid of it because we just can't afford it getting a ticket or impounded again. But it's not like I can reasonably walk far. Just walking around the store makes me not able to walk the next day.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed from doing all this service work. It's been 30 days since I've been in the rehab. I feel disconnected from them though, like I never really belonged. Feeling a bit lonely out here if you ask me.

Hi @LadyShadow. Is there any way for you to get a wee bit of a break from the service work? Have you talked to your designated therapist and psychiatrist about this? I don't fully know what kind of rehab you're in or the details regarding the service work, but I can say when I was inpatient for my bipolar disorder I sometimes had to step out or skip some of the sessions/activities. It can indeed be overwhelming. And I know that inpatient, one cannot fully relate to all (or any) of the fellow patients. Don't worry yourself that you don't.

During my first few hospitalizations they put me in a "dual diagnosis" ward. I definitely felt alone as they seemed to concentrate 100% on addiction, when what I really also needed was help with my bipolar disorder and issues relating to the then recent death of my mother and some issues at my workplace, and more. Even most of the dual diagnosis patients seemed to talk exclusively about addiction. I found the dual-diagnosis ward therapists to be like generals, at times. So inappropriate! Even detrimental, sometimes. I'm not saying that my drinking hadn't been a serious issue, but it was not to be treated as the only one. In my case, my bipolar and drinking were quite linked, at the time. I happen to dislike the branding (word chose deliberately) "alcoholic" or "addict". They will never cease to bring with them negative stigmas. I see them more as serious mental health issues, often linked with other ones, like bipolar disorder.

If any of what I shared is relevant to you, then you are certainly not alone. Either way, sending you hugs and wishes for strength during this challenging time for you.

sleep is key, how are you sleeping?
bizi
then again I went manic on prozac and was sleeping fine. go figure

that is not the usual out come.
be well.

I've been getting about 4 -5 hours a night. Went to bed at 8PM and woke up at midnight. Excited to spend my night writing!

I know quite a bit about bed bugs, having had them and discussed them with the pest control guy and done a lot of my own research. If your parents have a bad infestation it can be almost impossible to get rid of. Generally pest control has to come TWICE and spray everything including sofas and beds (linens must be washed separately and tumble dried, and non-washable cushions must be put in a hot dryer for 20 minutes.


The second visit is to get the eggs that had not hatched when they first visited.

Throwing out furniture is needless and useless. They generally don't live in the bed but the edges of the floor/baseboards around the bed. Although with a wooden bed frame they are more likely to live in it.


One thing that helped my peace of mind was to saturate that area with DE (diatomaceous earth), a physical insecticide that will dry them out and kill them. I did this AFTER the pest control spraying though Also you can put the feet of the bed in metal dishes (we used jam jar lids) full of DE to stop them climbing up the legs. Also the bed should be at least a foot away from the wall so they can't climb the wall to get onto the bed.

If your father can afford pest control he should certainly do that - the expense is worth it. I couldn't sleep properly knowing those bugs were in our apartment.

If you have any questions, it's fine to PM me.
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About your financial situation - I have been there many times and my heart goes out to you. I hope you can ask your mom. This forum also has some kind of fundraising but I don't know much about that.

Also if your father is keeping people away because of the bugs, that is ridiculous. The bugs normally don't even come out if the lights are on.

Big hugs to you

p.s. DE is available in garden supply stores. It looks and feels like talc but is sharp at a microscopic level. It's safe for humans and animals once it's laid down (historically they would mix it with grains to kill bugs in the grain, so it's even safe to eat), but should not be inhaled so if he uses it should wear a mask when applying

@Nammu I'm so sorry to hear of everything you are going through and that you lost your art books. That really sucks. You could try contacting used booksellers in your area to see if they could get you any of those books - they would probably offer a good price if you tell them what happened. Used booksellers are usually a labor of love not money.

Heat wave here. Checked the temp at 11am and it was 31 degrees Celsius (about 90 Farenheit).

Thanks to all who responded about my husband who I didn't already thank @bizi He's doing well now although still feels weak.

Today I guess I'll get some reading & writing done since there's not much else I can do in this heat wave. We did go out to the grocery store last night (walking since we don't have a vehicle right now) and got some ice cream among other things. The ice cream section was almost cleared out!!! Luckily we found some vanilla cones with the chocolate coating and peanuts on top.


We also make a delicious drink I found out about at Starbucks. Iced hibiscus tea (Tazo passion tea). It's red and very tasty even with no sugar (and I'm not normally a herbal tea drinker). You can also mix it with lemonade. Soooooo good.

Your words really resonate with me because we have no car and I can't walk far either.

Would you be able to sell the car and use the money to pay for cabs or Uber when you need to so somewhere you can't walk to? Uber is slightly cheaper than cabs. Where I live there are also something called "Taxi savers" that you can get if you have a disability. They are half price coupons - like if you buy $20 of taxi savers that equals $40 of taxi fare. You can even tip with them so you don't have to have cash.


In my current (small) city, it feels like we are the only people without a car. In the bigger city we would take the train or buses without a problem. Here the buses are currently on strike anyway, but the transit system isn't great.

Best wishes to you.

@Samicat I hope the heat wave cools down for you, that’s intense!
And that drink sounds delicious, I’m defo going to look that up and see if I can make it! Thanks for sharing!

I got back last night from my conference and after visiting my friends house. It was more eventful than I had hoped. I feel like I’m putting too much pressure on myself to be there for others.

It’s just difficult when others are going through a hard time. I want to help but they aren’t helping themself at all which is challenging.

Im also very very tired. I need to make sure I’m looking after myself and not slipping back into a depressive episode.

I hope you’re all doing as well as possible

Thanks for this but I can’t afford to replace them even at used bookstore prices. Some were textbooks from college from 50 years ago and are probably out of print. I have to sell all my Star Trek books as I’ll not have room for them. I’ve gone though dozens of boxes today and. Put most of it in the sell pile including all my tools and a lot of my art supplies. Got the heating pad on now.

I had a nice time! It's been so long since i had a nice time i am really grateful.

It's a nice day so i headed out for my drop-in. A very likeable man burst in with news of a comedy special i had recommended to him and he agreed with me about it. I was pleased because that means the man thought of me when i wasn't there and i'm always happy to know that. We agree on a lot of things, this very likeable man and i.

Then i went to my favorite cafe and had a nice time there snacking and doing a word search. It was so nice to be hanging out in an eclectic cafe, successfully doing my puzzle, all nice and relaxed.

Buses went well both ways and i am happy to have had a break from this apartment. I hope to do it over again on Wednesday, as tomorrow will be rainy.

Aces!

Well I went to my first day of IOP. It was basically 3 group sessions about things like mindfulness, crisis management and diet.

I met with my RN twice and was concerned when she said I might not need my meds adjusted. I was like, what? I am having SH thoughts and tactile hallucinations and I might not need an adjustment?! She said I'll see the pdoc on Wednesday for the final word.

The group sessions are helpful no doubt. I learned a couple of good things today. But I think I need more than some group sessions to get through this.

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I got to talk to my daughter for a long time and she sent a dozen red roses on Saturday. I had the house to myself Sunday so I invited my significant other over to grill out and watch movies. We had the best time. He brought flowers as well and we talked and laughed for hours. We watched my niece graduate from college streaming on the tv (she only was allowed 4 guests) that evening.

I just got home from taking mom out for her birthday dinner. She is 88 now. We had a lovely time and I feel so blessed. Next Saturday we’ll all go to my sister’s house to celebrate 3 birthdays and Mother’s Day. My daughter will be there. Yay!!!

Things are going well right now. The Lithium helps a lot.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Much love

I'm starting to feel so unwell. I just want to go home, but feel bad that my poor sister is left to contend with the mess. So many people here are vultures, including relatives like our late uncle's widow, my remaining paternal uncle and his wife, neighbors, some real estate agents and people who called themselves "friends" to my father in the past.

I am so sad and mad!