Bipolar Check-In #76

I feel pretty good at the moment. I had stomach trouble earlier in the day but thankfully that's now passed. I've realized that more than half the year is over and i haven't had any (hypo)mania. That's almost never happened. It's because i'm resisting taking an anti-depressant and just putting up with mild depression. I feel like i'm handling my bipolar better, even tho it is not easy and i sure miss the fun.

@~Christina:

Sorry to hear it's so hot there. I know how unpleasant that can be. I give myself permission to hide in the air conditioning when it's hot. Take it easy on yourself, you're very important to us here at MSF, always a ray of sunshine!

Spent last night with my
Fiancé. It was just what I needed!!

My hubby just got done watching 4 owls inn our yard close to the windows he said they were very small maybe babies? wonder how many owls can be birthed by a mother owl?
really cool!
bizi

@bizi:

Owls can lay up to 14 eggs depending on the species and the availability of food. That would make for one busy mother!

Done all my HelloFresh meal prep for the week on Sunday. Cooked all the meats that need cooking so now I won’t be cooking during the week. Stoked I won’t be cooking during the week BUT just not sure about how I feel regarding having just spent 1.5 hours of my Sunday afternoon cooking.

Starting my healthy eating plan tomorrow. 22 weeks to lose 15 kilograms.

I got this 🙏

Oh, I am sorry! Hope your doc will allow you to take Ibuprofen more often!

@~Christina Hope the heat "lifts" soon!

Wow!

Good luck on your way with this!

I am sick today, pain in body, ears and throat.

My friend is getting a kidney transplant as we freaking speak!!! Please send healing vibes

Wow! That would be one busy momma!

So glad that I can take my Klonopin again! What a relief after suffering with the anxiety for the past 3 weeks.

On our trip, we visited Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia, and Malaysia.

And we did it without any checked baggage! We each just had our carry on bag and a knapsack! We stayed at a place in Thailand which had a washing machine and dryer so we did laundry there. But that was the only place we were able to do laundry.

Going from country to country, each with its own money and customs was not easy. I'm glad my oldest son was able to navigate everything since he lived in the region for a couple of years.

I'm up to 350mg Seroquel XR. I experience fogginess for a few hours after I wake up, but it's manageable with some patience and lots of coffee.

My pdoc wants to stop latuda now that I'm on Seroquel, but I don't feel any difference at all - still feeling anxious and low, same as before I started seroquel.

I am still sick (throat and ears, less pain in the body today).

I have done all my morning routines, but will now relax for the rest of the day, reading or watching TV, or only lay down for a rest.

My cell phone house call went well even if it was a bit redundant. The couple involved didn't apply the first rule of tech issues: Turn it off, turn it back on again and see what happens. I spent a half hour going the opposite direction from my home, which itself was about twenty minutes from my workplace just to restart a phone. They were embarrassed and apologetic, but I wasn't mad. A little annoyed perhaps, but not angry.

We sat and talked for a bit, I helped them with some general odds and ends with their phones and most importantly (for me at least), I got fish! The couple, especially the husband, are avid hunters and fishermen. He had a freezer full of all kinds of fish with a smattering of deer jerky. I'm alright being bribed with food! I can't extend this courtesy to everyone, but one time can't hurt!

Went to Sunday service with my mom. Service was fine, but I was in for a shock when I saw her. The cancer medicine is very much kicking her #$&. I wouldn't say she's "skin and bones" but there's noticable bony-ness showing from all the GI issue-related weight loss.

Today's a slow day. Apart from an appointment with my PsychNP, nothing planned. I'm sure I'll figure something out to do!

Well fellow bipolars. I’ve not really much to report. They changed aqua fitness to 8:30 which means getting there at 8. And for me that means waking up at 6:30. Since I toss and turn half the night that means I’ve not been to aqua fitness for over a month. Definitely noticed a drop in energy.

Still have about 5 boxes to unpack. Had about 5 nail clippers and various nail implements but I thought I saved one and put the rest to be donated. But I can’t find any! So my nails are a mess. Got an appointment at the Solon for Tuesday.

Mentally I’m low. How much of that is from skipping aqua fitness and my poor sleep and how much is just that now I I have the time to process things. Last weekend was the cousins picnic and the loss of mum was obvious . Of people mum’s generation only my two aunt remain and they are much younger than mum was. Seems like since mum died in February I’ve been at high stress, with all the stuff that had to be done and moving out. I try to stay busy finding stuff to go to but here at home I’m neglecting the cleaning and putting the final touches on the apartment.

Cheesecake for everyone.

Yesterday was rough physically and today isnt any different. Today I have this upper right back pain and bad nausea I'm trying to deal with along with loss of appetite and the gallbladder pain. I got a small iced matcha and a medium cold brew today. 2 coffees may not have been the best. I'm going to try yogurt and cottage cheese since my vegetables and chips aren't appealing much to me anymore.

I've just been tired and in pain and feeling sick a lot these last 2 days. Mornings used to be ok.

Just having a hard time adjusting to this new life of mine. They voted a girl from prison into our house, and even though I want to be helpful and give the girl a chance, I just don't want to live there anymore. I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time and I don't even have my own room which is really getting to me.

I am a loner at heart, and I like my own space. I feel closed in and crowded. I've been in jail to a homeless shelter then rehab now this Sober Living House. I'm done, I just want my own space.

I am sorry to hear about your mom!

Sorry Nammu. It is probably both/and. Is it possible for you to go to the aqua fitness (even if you haven't slept well)? I know about people who follow a program where they get up at the same time each morning and go to bed at the same time each night. They say it is hard, bit it works when they are persistent. Hope it can help you as well. It makes a pattern. If you do this even if you are tired in the morning, you will probably sleep better when you have physical regular activity.

You have been through a lot since February, so it is not strange that you feel down. Give yourself a pat at your back and tell yourself that you have been clever the last month before you do anything else.

I hope the shift in nutrition helps you!

Is there anyone you can talk to about this?

I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety the last few weeks so I’m glad I see my Therapist Wednesday and also going to the
Cincinnati zoo with my fiancé . Also Nashville
Trip is next weeekend. I’m ready for some
Fun!

What a wonderful sounding trip, Scooter! I have been to Thailand (in 1996), but wish I could visit the others you mentioned, as well. Thailand must be notably different than when I was there. You clearly had much nicer accommodations, as well. One place I stayed was more a shed than a hotel room, about 5' x 7' in size, a matress on the floor with a mosquito net over it, and had outdoor shared shower rooms, and toilets that required flushing by dumping water in with a bucket. I recall that "room" costing the equivalent of $5 per night in Thai bahts.

It is nice to travel light. Unfortunately, I no longer can because of my husband. Most of my stuff represents only about 25% of what's in the luggage "we" bring. Hubby packs everything and the kitchen sink.

I am feeling very much down today. I was in the start of my second week (a repeated second week after I failed the last one). I am so afraid that this week shall fail as well. I know I am cathasthrope thinking, but when one is alone and have nobody to talk to

Well I have decided to go out for tomorrow and dress well. My troath is not the way it shall be yet, but I need to get out. I have tried since right before Christmas to make it. (I did for four weeks before Christmas), but it has been so difficult to follow a path to go on with my life. I have a lot of plans, but I never get there where it is possible to do what is both what I want and what is nessecary for me to feel relief.

Do I believe my own signature? I don't know ...