Bipolar Check-In #76

I have some ginger nausea chews. I don't know if those are the same thing or not. But I can get some ginger candies

I'm not sure about fat intake. I've been eating fairly healthy although not very much. Today and yesterday werent that good but overall I guess I'm doing better than before.

I had my gallbladder removed a couple of years ago. I know how bad the pain can get - it's awful. I feel really bad for you that you have to wait so long for a scan.

If you do end up needing surgery, it's laparoscopic with 4 really small incisions and recovery is just a few days. I needed morphine for only 2 days and it was fine after that.

Of course, your body needs to get used to not having a gallbladder and that'll take about 6-9 months but it gets better over time. The only thing I'm careful about now is really spicy things (like habanero peppers), but otherwise my diet is pretty normal.

Hang in there, you're almost at the finish line. But if the pain is really bad, like a 7 or 8 or higher/10, and it's affecting your functioning, it's probably time to go to emergency.

My day has been nothing but

I'll elaborate when I'm done banging my head against the proverbial wall.

I visited my grandma today. She’s doing better, quite cheerful. She admitted that she had been only eating half a sandwich around 8pm. That’s it, all day. No wonder all her electrolytes were messed up! Of course she passed out! I chided her, as have all the drs and the dietitian in the hospital. Thankfully my mom is staying with her for a few days so she will be reminded to eat and my mom can prepare her meals. She mentioned that’s why she didn’t eat, it was too hot to make anything. I’m lazy to the max and microwave everything, I also keep lots of fruit around so I can grab something quickly. So I told her that and hopefully she takes my advice.

I managed to talk to my mom as well, have a real heart to heart about her situation and her house. I went to her house yesterday to feed her cat and it’s AWFUL. It’s a hoarder’s nightmare. Every surface is covered with junk. Bags and bags full of junk. Hardly any space to walk. The only clear room downstairs is the bathroom, which was actually quite clean. So she asked me what I thought of her quitting her job and I just looked at her and said “do it”. I told her RS and thought she should’ve quit back in October. I told her she’s eligible for social security now and she can get insurance through the marketplace until she’s eligible for Medicare next year. There’s nothing holding her there. She agreed. She asked if there was any legal reason to give two weeks’ notice and I said no, it’s just a courtesy and really only needs to be done if she’s planning on looking for another job and wants a good reference. I think she’s quitting tonight.

All I can say is thank god. Now she’ll actually have time and energy to devote to cleaning up the house with our help. And even better, she’ll be able to take me to my ECT treatments when RS starts his new job. So I won’t have to give them up. Thank goodness!

I had another quiet day. I don't think this mild depression is going to pass any time soon. In fact, i think it might be indefinite. I always think that tho. When i'm depressed i can't ever imagine being (hypo)manic again. When i'm (hypo)manic i can't ever imagine being depressed again. Who knows? Only time will tell.

Had my therapy appointment today and my therapist said I didn't look like myself at all! No makeup, pajama bottoms, swollen. I'm so swollen my jeans don't fit me! 😫 Why is it taking me so long to heal?! I have bad bruises on both sides of my torso. I look like I'm pregnant. Was my surgeon pissed when he did my surgery?! I thought I'd be up and going three days afterwards. This was supposed to be a "minor" surgery, so why am I still so swollen and in pain?! I have my post op appointment on Wednesday. Hopefully by then I won't be as swollen and in pain. And if I still am I can find out if it's normal or not.

Sunday is a family reunion. It's a two hour drive there and back. I'm pretty sure I could squeeze my swollen *** into a pair of leggings. The drive would be painful though, so I'm not sure if I'm going to go or not. I guess we'll see how I feel.

This could also be a night sweat with menopausal symptoms.
bizi

Hi jane!

Hi Bizi!

Yes, but not at night. It can be "normal" in the morning, but still have been too low a couple of hours before.

I do measure my level of blood glucose during the day, but at night that is not possible. It can be "normal" during the day, but still have been low during the night.

I am passed that stage!

Good news: I was able to get insurance through the ACA exchange. It's not as good as the Medicaid plan, but $15 PCP visits, $30 specialist visits and $9 meds at $22 a month? I've had worse insurance plans.

The "bang my head against the wall" part of the day consisted of several troubleshooting issues with phones and phone service that were made 10× worse by the people who were supposed to help me. Productive sales day, but no one with the ability to help me with tech issues, helped me. I was ready to go home at the end of the day.

I will pat myself on the back a little bit. It's a testament to how far I've come that I'm able to deal with these stresses as they come, rather than repress it (and let the pressure build) or lose myself to it. I've done both more than I care to admit.

Big thing tomorrow, apart from work, is a phone call I will have to make with one of my tech issue customers. I wasn't able to solve their issue completely as they had to leave, but I made arrangements to call them in the morning and see if the issue resolved itself. If it didn't, which I'm anticipating, I'm going to make a house call. Which they were OK with. I'm not supposed to do that sort of thing as part of my job, but I'm willing to do it on my own time.

Tomorrow will be... interesting.

I very seldom log in anymore, but I do read to check on old friends and new acquaintances on a somewhat regular basis. I used to post quite often, but I haven't done so since my partner retired. I worried about how things would go once we were together 24/7, but she's so much more relaxed since she ditched her pressure-packed job. Things have never been better at home.

Another change has made my life better, too. My shrink retired about a year ago, so I now see a psychiatric nurse practitioner once a month. While your mileage may vary, I've found NPs spend more time monitoring how things are going. My PNP makes regular med changes based on how I'm doing...and spends about 15 minutes with me, while my old shrink only saw me four times a year and spent a mere five minutes with me, focusing on his keyboard so he could record details of the visit. It makes a difference when one's provider actually looks one in the eye. I'm now off the Depakote I was on for years and have returned to Lamictal. That, plus other med adjustments have made me more stable.

So...that's my attitude of gratitude. As for the depression I've experienced lately, it persists, but without the intensity of depressions past. It still sucks, but I'm making a concerted effort to stay out of bed and spend as much time outside in the sun as I can. Motivation is low but, fortunately, my partner understands. She's been dealing with my moods for 20 years...bless her soul.

I'm far too far behind to respond to everyone's situation, but I do follow along. To those of you who are doing well, keep it up. For those who are struggling, hang in there. BP is a fickle thing. Don't give up before the miracle happens. Peace.

Thanks for sharing that, buddha100! I'm so glad that you are doing well and enjoying life with your partner.

Hello all,

I will do my second week in my program once more. In case I haven't explained myself good enough before, I'll try to do it here.

We are all different and need different, but unique approaches, to be able to cope with our own mental challengers. So the six week program is for me only and is not recommended for all of you. There is no book with the title "The six week program".

The point is that I (personally) relax more when I know something about when I probably will feel better. That is why a program with a clear start and a clear end is so important to me. It motivates me!

The program in itself is nothing more then a good mix of tools that I know work very well in combination for me. I have experienced before that six hard working weeks with my tools gives me the strength I need to build a good place "to stand upon" after the six weeks.

In the beginning it is hard to follow up, but becomes better as the weeks pass. It is also a happy moment (a reward, if you want to call it that) to be able to say to myself: You are done with this week and are in the beginning of the next.

Since each week represents different levels of wellbeing, it is very important for me to know where I am in the program to help me relax and strengthen my hope. The second week didn't go the way I needed it to go, that's why I will do that week (or that coping stage) once more. I need to strengthen my ability to feel that I recognize the progress I expect at that level.

I made too many mistakes by following intrusive ideas and then "forgot" to continue my program. I am not ashamed, because it is difficult to chose the coping tools instead of other behavior. Instead I am happy for being able to see that so it was and for being able to take responsibility for that!

It can be compared to starting on a physical training program at a Gym. If the first week goes well and one then become sick, one will not be at level two when one is back at the Gym.

So it is with me and my "private" mental coping program. Because of making level two (week two) once more, my six steps (six weeks who now become seven weeks) will be overcome at Saturday the nineteenth of August. Hopefully this goes well and I can cry out: "I am a".

I am sendig good thoughts for the weekend to all of you!

PS. I have made a note to hang on my PC. It says: "Please remember to use you tools only. Do not follow thoughts that suddenly pup up in your head! DS.

I am sorry to hear about this! Hope you will become better soon. Please don't drive to the family reunion if your wounds still are svollen and painful. To drive a car in that condition can be dangerous (but perhaps it is not you who are doing the driving?).

@buddha1too It is good to hear from somebody who has become better. So motivation can be so-so from time to time, but you are better and that is good!

I'm feeling better today. I don't know how long it will last but I'm glad for the break.

Glad to hear that you have a pause!

My husband will be driving. I have a driving phobia. If anything I'm even more swollen today 😩. I'm calling the doctor's office on Monday to ask if that's normal or not and to ask if I can take my ibuprofen every three hours instead of six. Why am I still in so much pain!! Omg.

I was so constipated and in pain because of my sulcrafate late yesterday afternoon and night. I was taking every OTC thing I had. Mirolax, and milk of magnesium, and colace, and Dulcoalex chews. And nothing was working. I was concerned I would have to go to the ER. This morning I took another round of milk of magneisium and mirolax and a dulcolax. I also ate a Fiber One Bar.

And then everything just worked. I was shitting my guts out for hours. But I felt so much better almost instantly. I was staying hydrated all day so I wasn't having an issue with dehydration.

I also got some ginger chews and they work for my nausea and also my anxiety and moods too.

I've been pretty calm today overall and in a good mood since I haven't had any pain.

Sorry for the tmi.

Thanks hun

I’m sorry you struggle with wonky internet AND intolerance to heat also. It really makes life so difficult at times. I’m not pale like but I will burn quickly if I’m out in it very long.

I had a chat with my pharmacist about this unrelenting heat as it was way to warm in Walmart today. She said she also is on some medication that really effects her ability to cope. It’s been so hot and humid here they have opened cooling stations at numerous church’s around here to help anyone that doesn’t have AC. I feel awful for the elderly around here they just dont have AC or effective heat in the winter. I’m forever grateful we do.

I would love to have a hummingbird land on me. What a treat lucky you !

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So happy to see you and that’s great things are going well

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Jane glad you feel good about getting some things done ! Little things add up depression literally feels like it will last forever unfortunately

Hi hi hi Bizi

Hallie…. Yes yes yes ! We need Fall like pronto ! This weather is just gross.

Aurelis glad you’ve got the medical insurance sorted out! What a pita. That’s real kind of you to do a house call.

Wild glad to hear your Grandmother is doing better. Yep must eat more than once a day. Hopefully your mom with out the stress of work can make some changes in her home.

Raspberry please do call first thing Monday morning. Seems like your having a rough recovery. I mean it’s still surgery but normally is a quicker recovery . Hope your on the mend quickly.

Nammu ????? You Ok?

~~~~~

Oh today is just ridiculously hot and humid. Blah blah blah I know it’s July and it’s suppost to be hot but ugh ugh ugh.

Hugs friends

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