Bipolar Check-In #76

We've hit 50 pages so starting a new thread.

Hey hey ! Nice shiny new room! I love it Rainbow. Thanks ! Hope your doing well

Soupe I’m glad that your getting some therapy and it’s working well. You have gone through enormous life changes. I bet those cherries are amazing in all the baking you do

Sunflower sorry the dental work is draining. I hope it starts healing quickly ! When you need to escape for all those people don’t feel bad at all.

Nammu . How are you settling in? Still unpacking and organizing?

Samicat sorry about that woman acting differently. That happened to me and it sucks on so many levels

Rosie how are you ? Your always so supportive here.

Miguel’s mom, maybe the gym membership could be motivation to get into a routine ?

Blue .. how are you ? Still volunteering? Hope that’s going well. How’s the kitties ?

Wild ? How are you? Thinking of you

Sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone not in purpose of course.
~~~~~~~

I’m okay ! This heat psych meds keep me boiling hot all the time. Almost passed out yesterday from it.

I finished my Diamond painting the other day and I think it came out really nice. Took me about 45-46 hours to complete. I’m not quite sure why I find the patience honestly. But I truly enjoy it

Steve holding it so it’s pretty big

I’ve started another one that has 4 ostrich heads. It’s going to be so cute. It’s called Diamond painting incase anyone wants to check it out. It’s not an expensive hobby at all thankfully.

hugs friend

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Sleep is eluding me. I've had a combined 7 hours the past three days. I feel like I'm being propped up with a stick I'm so exhausted, but my mind and body won't let me stop!

Having three days to address my state Medicaid's math error doesn't help either, particularly given my health issues.

Today's my Friday, so hopefully I'll finally crash, energy wise. I've been sleepless to the point I've seen things before. I don't want a repeat!

Sleep is eluding me. I've had a combined 7 hours the past three days. I feel like I'm being propped up with a stick I'm so exhausted, but my mind and body won't let me stop!

Having three days to address my state Medicaid's math error doesn't help either, particularly given my health issues.

Today's my Friday, so hopefully I'll finally crash, energy wise. I've been sleepless to the point I've seen things before. I don't want a repeat!

Chris I love the elephant diamondot! I have nooooo patience for that!

Speaking for myself: im often afraid to comment (or hug, i guess) because i dont want to trigger you, or support eating behavior like pop and chips, that may conflict with your meds. I feel like im in a no-win situation, so i dont say anything. Im sorry, i will try to better, as im sure others will also.

Wow! That Diamond painting is soooooo incredible! That’s amazing Chris!

I’m mostly moved in but need to get the pictures on the wall and the decorations arranged. Finally went and bought the hooks for my scarves and rubbing alcohol to attach them to the wall. Still need to hook up my dvd player. Then I can go to the library and get movies to watch. I need to turn in my application for eating meals here. I still haven’t been down to games night yet. I forget when those things are and need to write it down. But by and large things are getting settled.

I find myself in a bit of funk now that the urgency is passed. Last night I was in a rare down moment when I wondered the purpose of my being here. Sir came around to remind me he needs me. Maybe I’ll look into a diamond painting, I’ve looked at them before but didn’t order it. Christina has given me a bit of a shove on that, hers is absolutely beautiful.

All's quiet here in "The Land of Endless Mild Depression." It was a mild day, even a bit cool this evening. A woman i was in residence with at university retired from the local broadcast news yesterday. What a life she has had! I used to borrow her curlers! I sure haven't amounted to much, compared to her. Heavy sigh...

please don't compare yourself to her.I understand this is not helpful when you are in depression land. Do you mental health providers know about your depression? It does not sound like the right meds.
be well
bizi

christina, this is stunning!!
will you frame it?

Gonna try and get a measure of sleep, but I thought I'd share my conundrum before doing so.

My feet are still causing me a significant amount of pain, much more than simply being on your feet for eight hours should cause. I have a hunch it's related to the swollen feet and ankles that I still have despite being mobile again and drinking boatloads of water per the doctor's orders. He's uncomfortable putting on a water pill as the diuretic could easily increase my lithium levels to toxic levels.

Eleven days ago, I sent a message to the doc through the provider's own messaging system detailing the lack of change and increasing pain. I have yet to receive a response.

The conundrum is I need to address this, but without health insurance of any kind, I'm stuck. I have to convince the paper pushers and the administrators to give me insurance so I don't have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for an office visit, med or intervention that could help immensely with my problem that I can't address until the accountant is satisfied. If that's not a microcosm for American health care, I don't know what is!

Gosh that is so frustrating. Sorry if this is a stupid suggestion but are you wearing compression socks/stockings? Also, epsom salt soaks can really help - the magnesium absorbs through the skin - my husband gets a lot of pain from his fibromyalgia and this helps. Massage may help - when I worked in retail I had a foot massage tub and it helped.

I have a strange problem:

My younger brother has become obsessed with money. It's really his wife - who is an accountant, and micro-manages their finances to the point where my brother can't buy himself a cup of coffee in a cafe because he's trying not to spend a cent. He has stage 1 rectal cancer (which shrunk a lot due to chemo/radiation thank goodness but he will need surgery soon). He got $40,000 because they had critical health insurance and you get a payout for heart attack, cancer etc. His wife immediately added it to their savings and they didn't spend a cent. She makes enough for them to live on.

They were lucky and bought an apartment cheaply when they got married 25 years ago, and paid off the mortgage soon after their son was born.


Before his cancer diagnosis, my brother lost his job about six years ago and got a $55,000 payout. Guess where it went - you got it. He got a job delivering for Amazon part-time because he has very little confidence (he only had one job in his life and just got promoted when his supervisors died or left the small company he worked for). His wife was okay with his Amazon job because it's very flexible and he could drive their teenage son to sports and school.

Also, one of my brother's high-school classmates is a hotshot investment advisor and handles some of their finances. I believe my brother and his wife are worth 1.5 million or more at this point (he won't say exactly which is also weird - he never used to be secretive).


Part of the reason they are saving so fanatically is that they want to buy their son a condo, which in Vancouver means 800K or more. He is 19 and taking a few college courses and thinking of getting into physiotherapy. If he becomes a physiotherapist, he won't need much help.


The thing is, I want my brother to have quality of life. I know he loves his son, but he walks around in old clothes while his son has the newest athletic clothes, the only vacations they took were to Disney, etc. I wanted to get them a couples' hot stone massage for their 25th wedding anniversary but both my mom and my husband said "Don't do it - they won't go and they may give it to their son or redeem the gift certificate for money." Isn't that crazy???

I mean in the end it's obviously up to him, and he worships his wife who worships their son. My biggest fear is that after his cancer my brother will go back to Amazon deliveries. He is brilliant with computers and I suggested programming boot camp. I think he would do it if it was free but he won't spend anything on himself. Argh! He is a very smart guy but he just doesn't value himself. He doesn't have friends. I just don't know.

Edited: I should add that the son (my nephew) is an absolute sweetheart in spite of how spoiled he was. I might actually chat with him about what to get his parents for their anniversary.

An additional concern I have is that they've always bought the cheapest food and I can't help but think that this may have contributed to my brother's condition. I'm the one drinking organic smoothies and eating arugula salad.

What a coincidence, Nammu! My husband and I were hanging paintings/pictures today. You are doing so far sooner after your move than we are. In any case, it's happening. Right?

I'm glad that Sir reminded you how important you are in people's (and kitty's) lives. I appreciate seeing you here at MSF everyday. Please do join the games night as soon as you feel up to it. Not just for your well-being, but to let others meet a great lady.

I hope your mild depression lifts soon, Jane. Mine seems to show some signs of doing so. New mini projects have provided a tinge of excitement. Something a bit new or anything that can break up "same ole' same ole'" or negative thinking helps me.

Please no comparing yourself to that past university mate of yours. You never know what goes on in others' lives. Certainly what people saw of her on TV might not have been her reality in private life.

@Aurelius710, I hope you get that health insurance coverage soon. No one should be without it. I certainly understand the issue relating to your Lithium and water retention. In the meantime, have you considered some relatively harmless natural diuretics? I'm thinking about coffee and green or black tea. I know that Lithium and caffeine consumption can be an issue, but perhaps a little more might not hurt. Also, keeping your legs elevated when you're home and foot/leg massage. As for the latter, if you don't have anyone who'll do it, you can give yourself one. Nice lotion to use is a bonus. Arnica cream can help reduce pain.

@~Christina, that looks so realistic! I'll be looking forward to seeing the ostriches. What a great relaxing and mindfulness activity it must be.

@Samicat, they do sound mighty frugal! And I understand you wishing your brother would finally enjoy something extra, in the the midst of (and after) his cancer treatments. Perhaps if he's not used to treating himself, he doesn't miss not doing so. Or maybe he does worry that his wife and son will need the money, if anything very horrible happens? I hope his cancer goes into remission soon and stays so.

Your nephew will be mighty lucky to get a condo as a present. I agree it sounds spoiling. I assume he's an only child? Or maybe they want to ensure he finally leaves the nest?

I'm very frugal in some ways, though not all. I do eat very well (quality food), but then again cooking is a passion of mine and I adore veggies. However, if I was a multi-millionaire, I'd probably still want a Subaru as a car, and wear much of what I wear now. Also the same outfits again and again.

Last night around 8 I got notice that the cousins picnic was today. So my daughter picked me up and we went to the grocery store to get some sides. Then went to the picnic. After just a few bites of food I had to go throw up. Fortunately I don’t think anyone noticed. It’s been happening more and more again. I saw my old doc about it but then it got better. But yesterday it happened twice. I’m fine with drinks but food just hits me wrong.

Had a nice time at the picnic was beautiful weather, but boy do we need rain.

Took some text books to half
Price book
Store to sell. Yay!!then I bought some
Cold brew and oat milk for the week.

Another quiet day.

THANK YOU for responding - I realize that was a LONG post.

I think what really bothers me is that I don't think my brother cares if he lives. He only cares about his wife and son. And his wife is so wrapped up in her son that I'm not sure she cares about her husband.

I mean his chances are really good because the cancer is so small and early stage. But is he going to improve his diet even if it means spending a bit more money? Is he going to think of his own future since he still has 15 more working years?

I want him to find meaning in his own life and his own health. I want him to value HIS life and not just his son's life. Don't get me wrong - I think they are great parents but can also set a good example by valuing themselves and each other, not just their child.

There - I was able to articulate it better now.

So,

How do I get my brother to value himself, and not just his son (yes his son is an only child). To do things that HE enjoys, to eat healthy food for HIS sake. I think it's great that he and his wife are such good parents but it saddens me that my brother has totally poured everything into his son's happiness and nothing into his own. If I gave him a gift certificate for his birthday, he would hand it to his son. If I gave him and his wife a gift card for their anniversary for a restaurant, they would let their son pick the restaurant and take him out.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your child first, but if you live your life ONLY for your child, that is pathological.

Wow Samicat it does sound like both of them are going to have major problems with empty nest syndrome. I’ve no ideas on what could possibly help if they aren’t willing to see that as a problem. It’s really sad though.

@Samicat
I did try compression socks briefly. I might just be a wimp, but it felt like a tourniquet was placed on my legs. I was in too much discomfort with them on to continue for the meanwhile.

I like epsom salt soaks and do them on occasion. They definitely help my aching feet! The swelling... not so much.

If I can get the swelling down a bit, I might be able to use the compression socks without much issue.

@Soupe du jour
I didn't think about coffee! I'm typically a "millennial coffee" (ie Red Bull) kind of person, but I'll have to try that! I've even got a store bought espresso machine I haven't used in ages!

As far as putting feet up, I've got my footrest for the living room and obviously my bed. I just haven't seen it have much effect. Hopefully, I'm just doing something wrong and there's not an underlying health issue!

Thanks guys!

Christina, I’m so sorry, I just saw your post, thank you for thinking of me. I have just been distracted lately , but I’m doing well mostly, I got my septum pierced last week, I’m really happy with how it looks I love your diamond painting! It’s beautiful! And yes I’m still volunteering with the kitties, it’s going well it helps me a lot with my mental health. Gets me out of the house and doing something meaningful to me.

Some other things I’ve been doing lately: went to the movie theater to see the new Insidious movie with my friend, playing the yugioh card game with and watching anime with my boyfriend over FaceTime/video chat. I also just saw my nephew for the first time in 8 years (he was in prison for drug related charges) we’re the same age (29) so we’ve always been close and more like brother and sister than aunt and nephew. It was wonderful to see him after all this time. He stopped by on Friday.

Ive been going to building events. Bingo, movie mondays, art group, etc it’s been fun. I have some pics I’ll put on here my post after this

I hope you and everyone here is doing well and if anyone is struggling hugs to you all, sorry for getting so behind on here

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