Bipolar Check-in #79

I think that the temperatures are all mild in the caves I would take a coat
with you if you go. I think it is a chilly 54 degrees down there. All caves are like this temp. If you go.....try to appreciate the time spent with her and hubby.

@Brentus Just keep doing what you need to do.Your feelings will catch up with what ever you are trying to do.
Good luck my friend.
bizi

There are alot of hurting people on the forums I offer hugs to all of you who need them!!
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

My system is over loaded.
I was taking to much on.
I sort of put my business on hold.
I am not taking on any new clients.
I am a foot care nurse for the elderly In home.
It is a much needed service but it is only me.
I can't handle the stress of it all any more.
I was working saturdays and a couple of sundays
back to back I want my weekends back.
I did that on purpose because I had 20 people on my waiting list. I was hating it, so I contacted them and put them on the saturday schedule.And the couple of sundays that I told you about. Now I have one person on my waiting list. She was ill and wanted to wait a bit for her to be better.

my hubby Jeff is out of town for the next day, just a quick over night at his buddys house for a drinking fest. And time to regroup with his friendship.
monique, cains wife is doing an impossible to tolerate, job at a hotel 6am-9pm.

So she was not feeling like company I wanted to go with jeff and she said no
She had to go to work for the 6am shift. and she is not drinking for lent and maybe forever. My mood is stable but I have been being uncoordinated in the last few weeks. falling and almost falling. I don't know why this is happening to me.
Jeff has been making me martinis. and I drink a sour beer called "sips bellini"
A local brewery makes it and we can get it in the local stores. total wine and more.
and at whole foods. I fall during to day. falling into and out of my car.I have fallen at a clients house With a bunch of towels over my stool the towels broke my fall. I have fallen several times out side. once inside at an assisted living place. Another time falling up a side walk. right in front of the dentist appointment. any there were other times that I almost fell.
heavy sigh.
I don't know what is going on, I have to be so careful at my clients home.I almost dropped the bucket of water on them. I really need to watch the light cord too.
any way.
other then that every thing is going alright.
I really needed to shower today but I didn't get up soon enough 10:30 I needed the sleep. WE went to chris poor boys for lunch/gumbo, it was delicious!
I will shower tomorrow.I will put this in my thread if any one wants to read it there.
bizi

I feel kinda not good today. I don't know why. I needed all my valium before noon and then I went ahead with my Geodons too around the same time. I binge watched all 4 episodes of the docuseries Quiet On The Set. I took melatonin at 2 and I just grazed on food all day but not really eating much. Idk. I'm kind of just existing today

I found popcorn in the pantry that expired in 2019. My first thought was "that was before the pandemic." My second thought was "we took this with us when we moved?"

My mom and brother never got sick. I don't understand how I get these things basically just by exisiting. I don't eat out and my mom goes everywhere I go and she is always fine.

Man that 25mil of melatonin did nothing to make me tired.

Ugh I took too much again. And I didn't eat enough today

I'm wrestling with boredom. I have that irritable depression where it is hard to tolerate anything. I got some relief playing Scrabble. I got exactly 500. That's pretty rare. Last night i went in my support group's games night over ZOOM and it was pretty fun. We play these game-show type games and use our computers AND our phones. We enter our answers on our phones. The technology was quite impressive. I did well for it being my first time, coming second out of eight my best game.

My dog had a noisy belly like she gets sometimes. We are going in for her annual check-up on Tuesday. I hope it's nothing serious. She's had a noisy belly before. She's always had a sensitive stomach. She's 11, so she's getting up there. I hope it goes well. Tuesday afternoon. Psyching up for it, the vet always wants to do these absurdly expensive tests, and they come back negative, so it's a hard decision. I have my income tax return dollars to cover it tho. Better safe than sorry, i guess.

Spending lots of time laying around. Have been trying to watch "My Octopus Teacher" on Netflix as i hear good things about it, but have quit twice, due to my irritable depression. I just find most things unpleasant. But the sun is out today, so that's nice. Got out for fresh air and sunshine. It's still cold tho. There are scrims of snow that are not melting and you can see your breath, so it's still below freezing. So much for Spring...

@raspberrytorte Hope you are feeling better. Post-crash days suck.

Can you tell us more about your ezine? It sounds very interesting.

[QUOTE=JaneOnceMore;7410223

My dog had a noisy belly like she gets sometimes. We are going in for her annual check-up on Tuesday. I hope it's nothing serious. She's had a noisy belly before. She's always had a sensitive stomach. She's 11, so she's getting up there. I hope it goes well. Tuesday afternoon. Psyching up for it, the vet always wants to do these absurdly expensive tests, and they come back negative, so it's a hard decision. I have my income tax return dollars to cover it tho. Better safe than sorry, i guess

[MENTION=576292]JaneOnceMore[/MENTION] Our dog, also 11, was having a lot of digestive issues including a lot of gas. The vet suggested probiotics and they are working so well. It's a powder that is sprinkled on his food and he loves it and looks forward to that meal. It might be worth asking about. I can tell you the name of what we use tomorrow if you want. No more gas, normal stools, calmer tummy in general...pretty amazing from a few months ago.

I still just feel super antsy and awake. Idk what to do. I tried watching a documentary on the royal family to help me wind down but it was actually just interesting. I wish I had some unisom

@BeyondtheRainbow

Haven't done shyt today. No shower. No dishes. Nothing creative. I'm just so TIRED 😫 and dejected feeling. The ezine is something my husband and I are doing together. It's called Exquisite Death and my husband does band interviews and reviews. I take care of the fiction side. I just started getting short story submissions so I'm very excited 😊 and if I get the interview back from my friend that would draw in a lot of traffic. I publish dark fantasy and horror. My husband reviews and interviews mostly metal bands, but we're open to any kind of dark music.

Our motto is: Bringing voice to the voiceless.

@BeyondtheRainbow:

Sure, i'll take the name of the probiotic for dogs. Thanks for thinking of us!

@JaneOnceMore

No problem. I should also add that he's on Science Diet Sensitive Stomach which also helped him. He has a lot of allergies so we have to be really careful what he eats.

Poor old puppies!

I am on too many drugs that cause constipation, dry mouth and chapped lips. Lip balm isn’t helping and it’s Eos! I have a box and a half of bio time lozenges which help albeit temporarily. I’m taking Miralax for the constipation.

@Moose72 Constipation has been a real struggle for me most of the years I have been on meds, to the point I've had to do colonoscopy prep to relieve it a bunch of times. I was doing well until we had to lower my clozaril dose in August and then things got very, very bad. My doctor called in a script for me but it took the pharmacy 2 weeks to fill it and I needed something. So I did some research and came up with poop pudding. It's a 1:1:1 ratio of applesauce, wheat bran flakes and prune juice. I still struggled but regularly for a few weeks and then things got easier and now I don't even need the poop pudding. I think it helped me reset something in there or something. Anyway my experience was really good and I recommend.

Thanks! I need to go grocery shopping soon so I’ll definitely try your poop pudding!

@Moose72

Tmi, but I'm on 400mg of seroquel and seroquel makes me constipated as FUKK, like am lucky if I can take a shyt once a week constipated. I take milk of magnesia before bed every night. Works wonderfully. My GP said it was fine. It's a saline laxative, not a stimulant. Just so you have a back up plan in case the pudding stuff doesn't work out. (Oh that shyt sounds nasty! Enjoy 😉. )

@Moose72 I should have said take 2-3 T (adjust as you need; I was taking 4 for a bit) and drink 8 oz of water immediately after.

@raspberrytorte It's not nearly as gross as it sounds. It tastes like applesauce mostly. The texture is a little weird but not that bad, especially after the batch sits overnight.

@BeyondtheRainbow

Oh okay. It's just... prune juice and bran flakes and apple sauce... I LOATHE prune juice! But maybe I should try this concoction. I want to get off the milk of magnesia eventually. If I don't take it now I get awful stomach cramps the next day and that can't be healthy.

Still depressed 😔. Zero energy. Can't seem to force myself to do anything. Must shower. Must do the dishes. Must pick up the apartment. But I seriously just CAN'T DO IT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS. All I can do is lay in bed and listen to music and sleep. I don't know HOW I'm going to be able to even prepare for our vacation tomorrow! I mean, I can't even get my fat *** in the shower.

My book was #50 on sales rank for LGBTQ horror fiction this morning on Amazon. I don't know if that's good or not. It's probably not a big deal. I'm sure it means nothing.

You really have to be careful @Mountaindewed. You remind me a lot of myself. I overmedicate too. I get desperate and don't know what to do and can't handle the way I'm feeling and OD. I used to do this a lot in the past. Anyway, so I can sympathize with the way you're feeling. I just want you to be careful. You don't want to end up IP. I would say call your pdoc, but he's worthless unfortunately 😔. It's probably a good thing you didn't have any unisom.

Can you talk to your therapist?

(((Hugs)))

I lost my normal bottle of melatonin. It had rolled under my bed and I couldn't find it and so I took all these useless ones earlier in the day. I found my regular stuff at 10PM and then once I took one I was asleep in 15 minutes. I'm on track with everything today.

I think the antibiotic is causing some anxiety and in general weird mental health stuff. I think its why I went off it before I finished it for my sinus infection. I have less then 4 days left so I'm trying just to push through things. This was more serious then the sinus infection and theres not much I can do right now at this moment anyways about it.

If you google amoxcillian and mental health basically everything I've been dealing with these last 2 days is there. Nervousness, agitation, anxiety. There was some definte nervousness going on yesterday. Nervous is not a word I typically use to describe myself. So yeah, somethings off. I don't typically get too agitated either. My brother went to get ice cream out of the garage last night and he was just like standing there and I yelled at him. Because he wasn't moving or saying anything. It was creepy and I was already on edge.

I had such bad constipation for years I ended up going to PT for it. But she cured it and that was back in January and I haven't had an issue since and I take zofran almost daily which is supposed to cause super bad constipation.

I took a photo of the Sun today using a small telescope (see attached photo).

The dots near the center are all active regions of magnetic activity called AR 3615 (AR means Active Region).

There are some other ARs on the face of the Sun in this image, you can see them if you zoom in.

There's a lunar eclipse tonight at 3:12am, eastern time. Although it's a full moon, it'll appear to be a half Moon because the Earth's shadow will be on it then. If you're up then, maybe step outside for a minute - it'll be low in the southern sky on the east coast. I'll try to get up and take some pics.

It's day 5 of taking Vraylar - no changes yet. No tiredness or appetite changes so far. Still feeling low but that's not new.

My face looks discolored right now. Kinda idk. Yellowish and darkish? I'm a white dude but I look a bit middle eastern at times. But my face color looks off tonight. Is that bad?

My anxiety sucks right now.... or else its my stomach. I hope I don't have Hep C. Kinda worried I haven't been 100% careful with stuff.