Bipolar Check-in #79

UGH!!! It's like the world WANTS me to stay on seroquel or something. My pharmacy messed up my 50mg tablets and only gave me 30 for the month when I was supposed to get 60 so I ran out early, halfway through filling out my meds for the week. I finished without the 50s, but couldn't remember when exactly I'd ran out in the week and my Lamictal tablets look very similar to my 50mg seroquel tablets, so I accidentally took 100mg of seroquel this afternoon instead of just 50mg. FUKK! HONESTLY! I'm getting frustrated 😠. I have to pay closer attention but half the time I'm not wearing my glasses and I can't see shyt without them.

At least I didn't fudge up last night and take my 200mg tablet!

Anyway, so needless to say I've been STARVING ever since noon. I just keep on getting fatter and fatter and FATTER. Like, getting to the point where it feels like there's no return. I feel so hopeless. 😪

@Blueberrybook i just heard about the storm damage in Houston. So much damage omg. Losing groceries geez we hardly have budget to buy them once, let alone twice.

Nice job going to the gym! Vraylar withdrawals aren’t fun especially with the long half life making it longer than other meds. Hope you slept better last night with working out and everything.

Hope you feel better! Losing power sucks, I’d say even more so in hotter months. At least if it’s cold you can put food outside and keep warm with a fire or bundling up or even exercising if it’s not THAT cold. Hope you got some good rest too.

I don't feel good at all today. Yesterday I felt fine. I slept ok. I woke up at 2:30 and I was throwing up my Dr. Pepper and plain pad thai forbidden noodles. I threw up a bunch more until I fell back asleep from 4 something to almost 7.

I've had zofran, pepcid, pepto bismol, advil. I just feel sick today. I just now took my pantropaloze. I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. Idk whats up today.

I found a thing of chicken broth in the fridge so I made myself a cup in a coffee mug. I guess I'll just do what I need to in order not to puke anymore.

I really dont feel good. I just threw up some heartburn and I have cold sweats and I'm just exhausted.

Now I'm feeling a bit better after eating lunch. I need to eat an hour after my second pantropalzole. I'm under my bamboo blanket which makes a huge difference in my cold sweats. And I took more pepto bismol.

Hoping the worst of it is over for the day.

Man, is there anything your insurance would cover BC for? I have PMDD and I think without mine I’d be institutionalized (and/or pregnant at that).

These meds, man, I swear if they come out with something without weight gain or EPS I’d go for that shyt in a heartbeat. If my insurance didn’t cover it I’d become a sex worker AND a drug dealer 😝

Last I remember I took an elbow to the face, woke up with not even a clue what state I’m in, and now I feel great lmao. I guess an elbow to the face and some sore muscles are as good a treatment for depression as meds and therapy (don’t recommend and don’t remember what I did and I have a couple ideas…)

I’m actually sleeping since my Thorazine and abilify were increased and my Zoloft decrease for the mania. I’m really tired during the day though I’m sure that will hopefully wear off as I get used to the adjustments. I slept 8 hours last night according my Fitbit. I feel on the verge of falling asleep and it’s 2:30pm now, I’ve been up since 10am. I’m trying to push myself to exercise but I don’t have the energy right now.

My sister is coming over tomorrow. Should be nice. She’s bringing takeout.

I’m probably playing yugioh and watching shows with my boyfriend today as he has a three day weekend off work so we’re spending time together.

I might try to draw something. I need to practice violin to prepare for my next lesson but I keep procrastinating lately.

I haven’t had any THC since Monday. I have it here I just am trying to avoid it for a week or two so I can adjust to these med changes before trying it out again. But in moderation this time. Not an everyday thing like I was doing for two weeks straight. It will help not being manic, I have a lot more self control when I’m not manic. It’s gonna be a weekend thing and like as a way to relax at the end of a weekend day. Not all day everyday cause that made things worse.

I don't know. Seems like a win-win.

Was really worried the past few days because I got little to no sleep, and I am not taking my morning meds. Very worried about a manic episode, but I think if I keep my thoughts straight and my mind clear from racing thoughts, I should be okay. Last night, I slept really well with my CPAP and feel really refreshed and balanced this morning.

Missed church, so was a little upset about that, but I know there is always next week. Really excited for my new relationship and being able to move on from my ex. I had been battling with the pain for so long, that it now feels good to feel feelings again. Thinking positive and strong for the upcoming week ahead.

I slept through the night and without throwing up for once. I did throw up a bit around 7, but not much. I wonder if the probiotic is starting to help.

Today I feel ok. A little bit anxious. Or maybe its just stomach stuff. I did drink a few sodas. But I think my doctor increasing my lamictal and Prestiq will be a good thing. I don't see how he can say no with everything going on. He isn't that big of a douche bag, and I'm not asking for much.

I'm not doing much today. I ordered a bunch of groceries but thats it.

I've started meticulously counting calories again. Goal: no more than 1200 calories per day, and I've started my exercise regime again, except I have to be careful with how many sit-ups I do so I don't tear my hernia mesh. I'm whipping this fat, flabby body back into shape! I am MOTIVATED. I CAN do this. It feels good to exercise again, even if I am badly out of shape. I stopped exercising after my hernia repair surgery in July. It hasn't even been a year yet! It's amazing how fast your body can go downhill.

It's sad, but I'm getting old. It's time to start taking care of myself.

I think the sertraline is starting to make me feel better already. I'm actually starting to feel motivated to do things. I actually have energy! It's great! I'm even novel planning again. Thank you sertraline. I ❤️ you.

@MuddyBoots according to the letter CVS sent me, my insurance only covers BC for hypermenorrhea, dysfunctional or abnormal bleeding, amenorrhea, PCOS, hyperandrogenism, hirsutism, and dysmenorrhea (if other treatment methods have not worked for this last one).

Does Goodrx have a coupon for your BC pills? I don't know the name of any pills so I can't look up whether they offer discounts on BC but when my insurance didn't cover something goodrx did help a lot. Or the OTC pill? Again, I don't know the cost.

So they don't actually cover birth control pills for birth control? Okay.

I'm a mess, Victoria wants to move out.

That's a good idea to look into! Do you know if they have consistent prices? Or, if prices fluctuate often?

@June08 I'm not sure how it works over time but they do give coupon prices that are pretty heavily cut for a lot of meds. You have to have the pharmacy run (often re-run) the script not on your insurance . I finally remembered ortho-trycyclen and ran it through the Access to this page has been denied. search engine. The prices for generic started at $6 something and went up to $14. You just pick a price and print the coupon that goes with it. I think. You may have it transfer to something that sends the coupon to the pharacy directly. I seem to remember doing that.

How can victoria afford to move out?

She can't. She just started looking for a job but is getting on low income housing lists with her gf. I just looked it up it's a 10 week to 10 year waiting list. So we'll see when her name comes up. I told her to continue school and save at least half of whatever she makes. I'm hoping it takes awhile but not to long. My bet is 3 years before we have to have a serious conversation about gf staying here.

I don't typically get manic but I'm not sleeping despite zzquil, unisom, and melatonin, and I bought 3 pairs of shorts and a button shirt and $67 worth of groceries. I've been a bit risky. Just with like the energy drink on Friday and then mixing Unisom and Zzquil. I feel a bit restless. I keep getting up to weigh myself. My moods are kinda on the higher end.

Is this mania? Possibly the zzquil maybe?

Ugh. I drink iced green tea like a fiend (think up to three gallons per day) and I put a peppermint tea bag in with my green tea bags. What a mistake! It's so gross it's nauseating. Honestly, never again. I DO NOT recommend. Thankfully the gallon is almost gone, but damn.

My whole body hurts from exercising, but that's good! It means I'm accomplishing something! I'm going to call my surgeon's office today and just ask them if it's safe for me to do 600 sit-ups per day with my umbilical hernia mesh almost a year post op. I DO NOT want to tear it. I DO NOT want to have to get surgery again!!!! That was one of the worse experiences of my life!

Anyway, I slept from 11pm to 1am and have never felt more good or awake or motivated!

I consumed 994 calories yesterday. Yippie!

This fat, flabby body will be no more!

I've been doing some novel planning. So many questions. So few answers. I hate this stage of planning! I know I'll eventually figure everything out, but damn.

Tmi, but I've been pouncing on my husband as of late. Will say no more. Lol. I would pounce on him right now, but it's 2:42AM. And he worked three long days in a row and is all tired and shyt and I don't want to wake him up.

Let's just say that my theme song right now is Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye. Lol. I've been wooing my husband with that song.

Alright. Back to planning! I WILL figure this novel out!

Damn it. It's 5am now and I'm trying to go back to sleep but the bird fukks are chirping outside and they're loud!!! Plus I'm all hot and bothered because my husband is mostly on my side of the bed right now and he's half naked. Sorry for the tmi but honestly, just trying to get some shut eye here! I shall have a resting period.