Bipolar Check-in #84

Here is a picture of Sugarberry, our latest rescue stray!

@Blueberrybook She's beautiful!

Just gorgeous!

I saw an OBGYN as a follow up to the urgent care visit. The bleeding is my period two months late which is normal for somebody my age. My lower back pain is not related to the ovarian cyst. I can't think of how I hurt my lower back but there it is. She prescribed flexeril for it. Can't drive on it or sign documents on it or take it with gabapentin which I take at bedtime. I just took one so I'm not going anywhere any time soon! She did a test for a urinary tract infection because the urgent care said I had one. But I am not going to take the keflex they prescribed. Too many bad side effects. We'll see what she prescribes if the UTI test is positive. I'm having an ultrasound a week from today to see the cyst- it's not very big according to the CT report so that's good. She ran a couple blood tests. I forget the one but the other is for cancer markers even though ovarian cancer happens more in post menopausal women with cysts. She did an internal/external pelvic exam and said everything felt normal. Only my lower back hurt when she pressed on it. Every place else she pressed on didn't hurt. Results should come to my portal. Our next visit will be on zoom in December after all the results are in. December seems kinda late but I'm sure she'd call if there was something wrong.

I’m good. The addition of 25mg of seroquel is the perfect amount. I was cleared for up the 75mg but 25 is perfect. My sleep goes back and forth. A good night then a bad night. Last night was pretty bad then woke up way too early. Went back to bed at 7:30 and had a really neat complex dream. My dad and uncle were both in it as was some people from where I live. I’ve missed my dreams lately.

Went to the grocery store and got a few thing including some appetizers for the November pot luck. Also stopped at the liquor shop for my yearly bottle of brandy. It’s only 750ml but it lasts me the whole year. Sadly they still didn’t have spiced brandy, my favorite but they had vanilla so I decided to try that. Hope it’s not too sweet. Got Irish cream for the holidays. That’s for company. I have only one more gift to buy then I’m done for the holidays.

So far no snow and none in the forecast so maybe a snow free thanksgiving. Because of my back I can ski anymore so I’m all about snow free.

I don’t know why I was so tired at 4:50am when I got up. Got my son out of bed at 6:00am then came and lay on my bed with my eyes closed but not sleeping. Dropped my son off at school then came home and slept for an hour. Got up and made coffee now I feel a bit better after that coffee. I see my gp in just over an hour. Paperwork for workers comp. I’m going to ask her for another 3 weeks off….then I can go back when it’s end of term activities before school breaks up 21 December. As for Christmas shopping, I haven’t even started that yet. And my son’s 6th birthday is 7 December. My daughter is easy she’s turning 21 and has asked for money because she’s flat broke. What to buy a 6 year old…

My blood pressure is 135/93 and I can't get my heartburn under control. I ate 2 scrambled eggs for dinner.



But honestly I didn't even do anything today to aggravate my heartburn, and I limited everything.

Well I took one dose of the muscle relaxer I was prescribed today for my back pain and it worked great. But now it’s worn off and I’m in pain again and one of the side effects is urinary retention! I wrote a note to the doctor I saw today telling her this and that I’ve had urinary retention twice from psych meds and could she please write me a script for something else. I hope she replies tomorrow! Of course it has a long half life! I’ve read it builds up in your system. Glad I only took it once!

Its hopeless. My life. This pain and throwing up all the time sucks. Can 988 track me? I'm thinking of texting them. My mom is just like she thinks my GI will have some magic instant answer tommorow and I'll instantly be cured and there will be unicorns shitting rainbows and singing dancing flowers like in old Disney cartoons.

Just **** everything.

I ate a snack and it helped out my mood but didn't really do much for my stomach. But I'm nauseated from my nausea meds. Lol.

@Victoria'smom

Where are you getting your information regarding SSI/SSDI cuts?

@Mountaindewed

Sorry to hear you're in so much pain. 😔 I hope your GI doctor can help you tomorrow. 🫂 ❤️

This is a weird week at work. A couple of big events happening, a half day on Thursday and no school for students on Friday, and it is my coworker's last week. Some people were invited to go to a nearby spot to hang out for a bit to celebrate this coworker since nothing will happen at work because he is breaking his contract. It was a good time-the two hours flew by.

My mood has still been pretty good. I've been having increased anxiety about my financial future because I am nowhere close to being set up to ever retire and, if I stay in teaching, will probably never get there. But, I also have no idea what else I would do-I've been working with kids since I was in high school so don't have much experience outside of a teaching type of field. Money has also just been tight recently so that has financial anxieties high too.

I am feeling much more depressed than I was yet I also am SO irritable. I'm not even feeling patient on social media. Saturday I did pretty well. I helped get the recyling taken care of (we have to take it to a place and sort it into bins) and we took a walk on a trail. Yesterday I didn't get out of my pajamas. I didn't even go to my mom's for supper. I just didn't feel up to it at all. Today I got out of my pajamas long enough for supper but that's it. I acted ok with her I think but I don't feel ok. I talked to my sister on the phone and also sounded fine then. I'm a liar.


To be fair my sun lamp is helping. I don't think it is causing the irritability. It's just mixed and the way it is. The lamp is helping a little. At least it doesn't seem to be hurting and I do feel better after I use it for a little bit. It just doesn't last long.

I just feel bad. Tomorrow I have therapy. Last week we talked about the political situation which was hard because we don't agree on politics. He has no idea how little. But we're not talking about it tomorrow. I'm not talking or thinking or reading about it right now. Too much.

Off to be grouchy elsewhere....

It was another quiet day of mild depression. I got some relief for about two hours in the afternoon, which was welcome. Then i attended my ZOOM social hour but i didn't last because i wasn't interested. Nothing went wrong, i just was indifferent.

Hugs to all in need!

Trying to find a pain reliever that I can take with Eliquis but the only one is Tylenol. All the others raise bleeding risk.

Fudge man! I can't sleep again, and I took 400mg of seroquel two hours ago and just took 10mg of melatonin (psychiatrist said I could do this). This is getting ridiculous. Sigh. I guess I'll just lay in the dark for a while and listen to my music.

The thing about melatonin is that it’s not a quick med, it takes an hour or more for it to start to affect you. Not like sleeping pills. Sorry yer having such a hard time raspberry.

Good morning. Waiting on my apartment inspection. We have them once a month (I live in supportive housing) it’s quick and easy but I still hate them lol but anyway that’s at 10:30am. It’s a little after 8:30am now.

I slept decently. I was considering pulling an all nighter last night and am so glad I didn’t. At least I got some sleep.

I had breakfast, read a bit, took my morning meds, cleaned some, fed my cat, brushed my teeth, got dressed, put some chicken thighs in the fridge to thaw. After the inspection I’m going to sit outside for a bit to get some fresh air and read some more. Then I’m getting on the treadmill for 30 minutes. After I make/eat lunch I’ll practice violin and do some artwork. That’s the plans for today. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist.

Inspection went well. Also put in a maintenance request for my oven cause the lightbulb inside it died.

Gonna get on the treadmill soon

Waiting for the doctors office to call me back! They are trying to find something else for my back pain.

Edit: I’ve been waiting for hours and I’m still in pain! I’m at Panera but I don’t dare drive home in case they call while I’m driving!

The oscillation between high and lows have been rough this weekend. I'm hoping I'll feel better soon.

Wow thats practically a valuable antique. Or a really good new one. I havent had a lightbulb in my rental apartment stoves since i dont know when. I vaguely remember replacing one once!

Not sure, the apartment building was built only 7 years ago so everything was brand new then. I moved in 5 years ago and it just went out today, I’ve never had to replace one either. Hopefully they have the part they might have to order it or something. The oven/stove is the kind where it’s built into the counters

Good morning, or is it? I’m so discombobulated from my active night. My sheet is a twirled mess in the middle of the bed. Weird dreams too, too weird to try and write down. I’m still tired this morning. Glad I have nothing pressing to do this morning. Well I gotta get going, it’s 11:30 already and I do have things to .

Why is it so hard to find black and white striped tights?

The new Pale Waves album is SO GOOD!!! OH MY GOD! THEY'RE BACK!

I cleaned and vacuumed and did the dishes and scrubbed the toilet bowl (which badly needed a good scrub. Yick!) and did the cat litters. Have to get my booty in the shower next. And have a vape. I really need a vape right now. I don't even remember when I eventually fell asleep last night, but I woke up at 5AM.

I posted a question in one of the groups I'm part of on Facebook, asking if they had their septum pierced and if it hurt, and almost everyone said it didn't, so I'm expecting it to be EXTREMELY painful, which is fine.

BRING ON THE PAIN!!!!

I AM STRONG!!! 💪 💪 💪