Bipolar Check-in #84

I’m not even sure I really have a uti. I never gave them a urine sample! She just said something about a high white blood cell count.

Ugh. Three hours of sleep! Oh well. I'm hungry but don't feel like making anything, and my ecig just ran out of vape. BOOHOO. Whatever. I only have to wait like two hours and I can get a new one on the way home from dropping our daughter off at school.

@Blue_Bird

I’m just enjoying a pumpkin spiced tea right now and enjoying some music while I get ready to deal with today. I have a lot of cleaning to do today and am not looking forward to it. I’m just gonna put on an audiobook later and get it done though. Aside from that I am taking a walk to the store. And am gonna practice violin. Already drew some today. My cat Mustachio woke me up super early today. 5am, purring and cuddling next to me. Now she’s back asleep.

I’ve got an appointment at the OBGYN clinic with a doctor I don’t know. The nurse tried to offer me today or Friday! Duh! I want to be seen today!

I walked to the store. Got some imitation vanilla extract and some evaporated milk. For the pies I’m making next month. Like I’m making 4-5 pies next month. Probably these:

Chess pie
Chocolate pie
Chocolate chip pie
Egg custard pie
Peanut butter pie

Yeah, I’m giving half of each one to my sister. It’s a lot but I love to bake and I especially love doing it around Christmas time. It’s so cozy especially with Christmas music playing

So far I’ve swept, mopped and scooped the litterbox. Still need to clean the sinks, bathroom, and vacuum with carpet freshener

I should probably go out and do something but I don't know what. I don't really need anything besides a few fruits and vegetables, and I don't eat out so I don't feel like going out to breakfast or anywhere. I feel ok and I slept decently though.

Well I feel stupid. I didn’t realize till I got home I accidentally got sweetened condensed milk and not the evaporated milk I meant to. I was looking at the evaporated milk but I grabbed the generic brand to save money thinking it was evaporated milk too cause I didn’t look too closely at it. Oh well. I’m sure I’ll find some other dessert to use it for

Can you exchange it?

I could but I probably am just gonna keep it. I’m trying to restock my pantry of basics anyway for Christmas baking so I’ll probably end up using it anyway

I’ll get some evaporated milk next time I go shopping

I may try making homemade chocolate and peanut butter fudge and give it as gifts this year.

I’m trying to save money this year so I’m probably just doing that for gifts for my sister and friends

And maybe do some artwork for my sister. She likes my art a lot. I’ll ask her what she’d like me to draw and I’ll try to make a really nice picture for her. Sometimes homemade gifts are good. Things are so expensive nowadays. I feel like there’s too much emphasis on consumerism. Not just at Christmas though it’s all year.

I've been losing a lot of time lately, and it's kind of scary. I took a shower this morning and I am bruised to high hell!!!! I don't know w hat happened??? Things are soo weird I don't know what's going on. I was in the back seat of someone else's car and it didn't feel right. I knew where wee were but I didn't? It was different, but the same. I wish I could explain better, but I found out I fit in the trunk lol. Almost didn't even let me sign in here. There are other people's thoughts in my head... I think Ceelo Green's thoughts are in there... I can't go for that

Politics/SSI related

Got on the treadmill for 30 min. Dissociating hardcore right now.

im at work. wish i could sjsut sleep for a week. i see t wdnesday but i idk how much ill tell him about whats happening

Are they doing this to SSDI as well?

I'm trying really hard to get my health issues under control because I was doing pretty ok working 20-25 hours a week when I was really close to losing everything in 2018.

Its literally only my health holding me back now.

Are they doing this to SSDI as well?

My mood has been pretty good though I had a panic attack out of nowhere this morning. Of late, I have stopped reading the news because every time I do, I read something about Trump & politics, and I get anxious and panicky.

I slept around 9 hr. last night, probably could have slept longer but Pecan started walking and jumping on me and woke me up. I took a nice walk this morning, did laundry, and read around 100 pages of my library book.

I have been spending a lot of time trying to get our new cat, Sugarberry, adapted to being indoors. He did spend the night inside last night, and used the litter this morning FINALLY! He is starting to look less raggedy; gaining some weight, and his cuts are healing though I do wonder if he might end up with some permanent bald spots from all the fur he lost fighting. So far, there hasn't been any fighting with our other 3 cats though he has gotten a hiss or 2 from them. I will have to get a picture of him & figure out how to post it here

Aww I love the name Sugarberry! That’s adorable!

What if your 31 and can't work physically and have basically every specialist to say so and also say that they are working on getting you stable?

I feel really blah today. I'm zapped of energy and I'm headachy. My anxiety is decent I guess its just some more weird ****

My GI doctor wants to see me tommrow. I don't know what he'll say but maybe he has some answer about this werid side and back pain.



At least I'll have a reason now to get into the shower

@Mountaindewed I don't know it's a waiting game. My hope is everyone they kick gets the ticket to work program or similar options like the workforce program. I know people are moving in anticipation.

So I was supposed to have my appointment with my new psychiatrist but the bus never came.my hair is all matted so I'm getting it cut and dyed at some point. hallucinations are down but still there a little. My dad thought we weren't going to try to move because of all that's happening.