Bipolar Check-in #84

I'm completely exhausted, but for good reasons. I started the day with an early breakfast with a friend who lives in another state. Then, I went straight from breakfast to my IV fluid appointment. I made a quick pit stop home and then went grocery shopping before going to volunteer at a small dog rescue shelter. Since it's not a million degrees outside anymore, I think I'll be able to handle it. My POTs symptoms are also just much more under control than this summer so I'm hoping to go once or twice every weekend (at least until it gets hot again). The two dogs I got to hang out with were adorable and being there gave me a nice mood boost. Oh, and a book I've been waiting for (that someone I know wrote) arrived today so that was exciting too! Mood wise, I am feeling better today than I have in a long time and I am very grateful for this.

@raspberrytorte - he has quite a stomach on him. He literally looks 8 months pregnant. He is very conscious of it and said he doesn’t want it in the photos!

I picked up the dress…..next mission is trying it on to see if it fits me.

Ughhhhh dress doesn’t fit me. It’s too small. It’s my dream dress. I’m going to have to take it in to an alteration place to see if they can make it about 3 cm bigger at the back so the zip can go up!

I'm in pretty much ER type pain right now. But I just say I'll make it until I feel better which only lasts for a bit. Idk. I feel like this last year has been nothing but physical issues and doctors visits and tests and some diganosis like a sinus infection, strep, the wonky intestines, the ulcers and other GI stuff, and covid.

It’s 5:47. Been up for about 10 minutes. I have this pelvic fullness and feel like my period could start. (But I know it won’t.). It’s a cramping feeling in addition to my back hurting at the same time. I know it’s gotta be the ovarian cyst. But no signs of a burst cyst. No bleeding, spotting or sharp pain.

Edit: I’ve been trying to get ahold of the on call dr for 2 hours now and no call back!

Now I’m bleeding like a period but only once. Then it was brown spotting. Had sex yesterday which could’ve irritated or ruptured the cyst. Which can be felt in the abdomen or lower back. The sex hurt my back the whole time! My lower back still hurts. I’m waiting for the doctor to call me back again. I just picked up my gabapentin 300s from the pharmacy..

I'm just taking nausea meds today which aren't helping much. My overall pain is ok but I have a headache so I just took some Tylenol. My anxiety is good today. I haven't seen the news in a few days. Mainly its just nausea and not being able to keep anything down. Inclduing pepto bismol. I just took some Gravol and I think its working though.

Oh yeah and I also had my messed up shoulder and arthrtis, bone spur thing.

i wokred on the assgnemnt for an hour and jsut turned it in. im hoping for at least half credit which will get me up to a b. idk hwat i willl do if im kicked out of this program. ive worked too hard. ill feel like a failure. my friend said if school was causin her to consider hurting herself shed get the hell outta there. i wish ic oudl jsut quit but ive cme to far and i really want to finish now. i want to make more moneya nd not struggle liek i do. if i do get kciked out ill have to find a full time job to pay student loans. its all too much to think about and makin my tummy issues worse. i get liver ultrasounf this week. my husband will be gone the next three days on a work trip. hope i dont lose my cool again whiel hes gone or else i willl act on my urges

The nurse never called me back so I drove myself to urgent care.

My stomach pain sucks. But I've put off going somewhere for 2 days. I don't know how I'm supposed to travel for thanksgiving when I've hardly gotten out of bed this weekend

I'd stay by myself but my mom won't let me be alone on Thanksgiving even if I say its ok.

So we had about 25 people over for lunch today. It was a long day that started really early.

I'm back to sleeping just 4 hours. I'm really tired and doing everything when this tired is challenging.

I'm still feeling low but that's my baseline anyway.

My anxiety is still up, all these months later after it first went up. I'm thinking of restarting Klonopin for some relief.

ive been tking klonopin nightly since friday. it helps me sleep and get rest. idk how im gonna cope while ben is gone

My bleeding is heavier and my lower back is still killing me! They couldn't see my ovaries on the ultrasound hence we still don't know if the cyst is bleeding or if by coincidence I started my period. She said I have a UTI and prescribed antibiotics. Said to follow up with my OBGYN tomorrow and to go to the ER if the bleeding gets heavy. All I know is this bleeding seems like a lot for a ruptured cyst. And I am at risk for heavy bleeding because I'm on blood thinners. Bleeding starting while I have an ovarian cyst a coincidence? Very painful lower back- coincidence?

I feel extremely irritable today. And annoyed. For literal no reason. I’m assuming I’m about the get my period. Cause generally the day or two leading up to my period I feel miserable and am angry and irritable and anxious and panicky. Like to the extreme. It sucks. But once I get my period it goes away and I feel 100 times better. Every single month. It sucks.

Well looks like I had my last one October 22nd so I’m not due for that any time soon so it’s not that. Idk what it is then. I almost had a panic attack earlier today. Had to get my ice pack out of the freezer and lay it on my chest which helped.

Got all my chores done today, including the two loads of laundry I was putting off. Spent the rest of the day in some other dimension, listening to Sleep Token, Type O Negative and Rein. I've had a very, VERY chilled out and calm day. Now I'm just waiting for my husband and daughter to get home. I've decided that I'm getting my septum pierced. I looked at local tattoo/piercing places, have chosen one that sounds nice based off reviews, and am calling tomorrow to make an appointment.

It was another quiet day of mild depression, unpleasant in the daytime, but improving in the evening. It took me three tries to watch "Saturday Night Live." I kept getting frustrated and snapping it off. Now i'm watching my soap, with faint pleasure. I drank too much pop today and my guts are in turmoil. I don't know what is wrong with me. I resolve to quit and drink tea and then go right back to swilling it.

Hugs to all in need!

@Blue_Bird

My wedding dress is with a dress maker as we speak being altered so hopefully November 23rd it will fit me! She had a 5 star review on facebook for her work. Her house is a mansion. I wonder what her partner does for a living!

Ugh. Now I can't sleep! Boohoo. I even took my 300mg seroquel log. No sleep. I guess that's what I get for having the ultimate of calm/chill days (other than when I was getting my chores done of course). Oh well. It's kind of nice laying here in the dark anyway, and our bedroom is nice and toasty warm, and I'm listening to Sleep Token, which is always nice.

It was really funny before. My husband was like, "So, you're getting your septum pierced?" Me, "Yes I am, sir!" Him, "I don't know how you'll look with a septum piercing... how about a nostril piercing?" Me, "Nope! Septum. I'm gonna get a really big one like those bulls have. HAHAHAHA!" (Just kidding of course. For jewelry I'm getting a simple horseshoe.) Husband, laughing, "You should go to your parents house after getting it done. You'll give your mom a heart attack." Hehehe. I should. I'll be evil. 😈

Seriously though, my husband doesn't care. He said it's my body and that I can do what I want. I assured him it would look cute once it was done.

Well, I took another 100mg of seroquel and 10mg of melatonin. Going to attempt falling asleep again. Wish me luck!

Now I have a sore throat!

I am in so much pain right now

I am not taking that Keflex antibiotic! The side effects are out of this world! Even the pharmacist warned me about an allergic reaction like a rash or hives and to stop taking it immediately if that happened.

@Moose72 I've taken Keflex quite a few times and never had a problem with it. It's probably my favorite antibiotic honestly.