Bipolar Check-in #85

unaluna · Dec 27, 2024, 01:24 PM

Incline of 7 - wth, is that the Hilary Step?

Nammu · Dec 27, 2024, 01:37 PM

Uh, oh. I think I caught something Christmas Day!

Lotsa sneezing and blowing today. My daughter spent yesterday in bed. If this turns into something it will be the first cold I’ve had since 2016! I had covid in 2021 but that’s it!

unaluna · Dec 27, 2024, 02:30 PM

Nammu - Call the Midwife!

Crazy Hitch · Dec 27, 2024, 03:01 PM

Hey lovely people

I still have this stupid head cold. But I will soldier on.

I bought some more nail supplies this morning so I should have a good stash trickling in from the post man in the next few days … lucky me!

Blue_Bird · Dec 27, 2024, 03:45 PM

Still feel like garbage. Still feel like my meds are poisoning me. And am still dissociating really badly and panicking.

June08 · Dec 27, 2024, 03:52 PM

I'm finally going to give in and take an extra 1 mg of risperidone tonight. After yet another night of struggling to sleep, I'm struggling a lot with SI and irritability today. It doesn't help that I have nothing to do so I'm just sitting in it. I ended up canceling my dog shelter shift because my stomach was bothering me and that was the one thing that was going to get me out of the house today. If my stomach feels better (not sick, just had an energy drink to early in the morning-completely my fault), I'll go for a short walk and listen to music.

If my pdoc was in the office on Fridays I'd message him and ask for just two or three 25 mg seroquel pills to help me fall asleep faster until the risperidone can kick in. Because of SI, I shouldn't have more than a few pills on me. I'm safe, just really struggling with these thoughts so having them on hand wouldn't be smart. I also don't typically need them so I don't need a whole bunch of them just sitting around waiting to expire.

I hate that it's only 2 pm here...

Blueberrybook · Dec 27, 2024, 04:58 PM

@Blue_Bird - I hope you start feeling better. I really hate dissociation (((HUGS)))

Sorry for everyone who is sick right now. That definitely makes things harder.

As for me, I'm doing well, stable to perhaps a tad hypo, but I still need to take my extra 50 mg Seroquel for the day. Some nights I feel I only want to take half my nightly 300 mg Seroquel and almost did last night but forced myself to take the whole thing.

Today I went for a long power walk, too long really but I have snacked a lot. I read and used the SAD lamp, did laundry, went to the library with my daughter. I'm a bit tired today; first because I woke at 4 AM and second because I think my period is due.

Mountaindewed · Dec 27, 2024, 06:09 PM

I took a long nap this afternoon. Basically lately I get up at 5, I work out, watch The Today Show, and then take a 3 hour nap then watch TV and listen to music.

I feel ok overall. I was a bit irritated until I took a nap. I guess thats how I've been coping lately. Sleeping it off. At least I've started using the sun lamp. Hopefully it helps.

My endocronlogist also put me on metformin and I'm hoping with the daily excercise I already do and not eating much 5/7 days of the week it will give me that extra push.

Blue_Bird · Dec 27, 2024, 06:19 PM

I talked to my friend on the phone for awhile. And also practiced violin. And also sketched some. All that seemed to be enough to pull me out of the panic/dissociation. Now I’m just relaxing and watching an anime. Glad it’s the weekend. It’s weird cause it feel like a Monday today.

Moose72 · Dec 27, 2024, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Have an appointment with my therapist this morning. Don't have much to report as I'm feeling fine. Quite happy now that Christmas is over. 😊 For now my husband has off on New Year's eve and day, which will be nice. I can't wait to take the Christmas tree down! I did some online shopping yesterday and have some things coming in the mail. Yay!

I'm getting excited for the Imminence concert in March and for the Explosions in the Sky concert in April (that one is in Madison, so we're spending the night and it'll be our yearly romantic getaway ❤️). I have to figure out what to wear! Lol.

In February my husband and I are getting our tattoos. Yippie! I'll finally be able to get my Sleep Token tattoo! Once my septum piercing heals a bit more I want to get my eyebrow pierced. I don't know why I have this sudden urge to get piercings! I just have this NEED to be pierced.

Ah shyt. I just remembered the ezine. Have to get that up! I also have a lot of submissions to catch up on. I'm pushing into April now. I keep on getting short story submissions and no poetry! I need poetry submissions! Does anyone on here write poetry and want to submit? Lol. Just kidding.

I do! I have some poetry from about 3 years ago on my blog. They are in January. Do a search for poetry or poem. http://www.bipolarhallucidations.blogspot.com

Blue_Bird · Dec 27, 2024, 08:34 PM

I’m getting a new keyboard (piano) from my sister next week! It’s a much better quality one than my current one. Super excited!

MuddyBoots · Dec 27, 2024, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I’m getting a new keyboard (piano) from my sister next week! It’s a much better quality one than my current one. Super excited!

That’s awesome!

JaneOnceMore · Dec 27, 2024, 09:11 PM

It's been a long quiet day and i am ready for it to be over, but it's only 9:00pm. I felt some pleasure this afternoon when i snuggled under the covers in bed and enjoyed the warmth and silence. This evening i got back to my soaps and it was comforting to do something familiar and undemanding after all the excitement of discovering the work of the spectacular Bill Hicks these past few days.

Unaluna: Thanks for the support. Yeah, all my interests involve words, so i guess it follows that i got involved in Scrabble. Thanks for pointing out the humor in getting "four eyes" in Scrabble. I tend to think of it as the kiss of death. I did a quick search and there are 893 words that have "four eyes," the first of which is ABORIGINALITIES. They all tend to be very long, and very unlikely.

Moose72 · Dec 27, 2024, 09:19 PM

I’ve got dry itchy skin. Half weather half soap.

I’ve been in bed since 5 and now it’s almost 9:30. I hope I can sleep.

Blue_Bird · Dec 27, 2024, 10:04 PM

It’s been a productive day. Despite feeling crappy for a majority of the day I managed to:

Meditate for 20 minutes
Read
Practice violin
Practice ukulele
Sketched a picture
Read/study some of my chess strategy book
Study music theory
Get on the treadmill for 30 minutes
Journaled

Idk what I’m doing this weekend. Probably all this again each day. We’re getting freezing rain tomorrow. So probably not going anywhere.

Monday I need to get bloodwork for my doctor to recheck my vitamin D levels. Then it’s New Year’s Eve. And by then I’ll have my new keyboard so I can practice with that too. Then an appointment with my therapist on the 2nd.

I should get my other keyboard out of my closet to practice on that in the meantime till I have the new one next week. I have a Zelda keyboard/piano music book I want to learn songs from that.

Scooter9 · Dec 27, 2024, 10:39 PM

So I have been sick these past few days, sleeping upwards of 12 hours a day. I think I'm slowly improving though, at least physically.

So I have decided that I'm going to do whenever my family wants me to do, when they want me to do it. It's just too much of a headache to try to live my life for myself. I envy those of you that can live however you like, you are a privileged few, I think.

So my family has won, and I have lost because I need to exhibit the behaviors they want, when they want them. It's my home (pre-marriage) situation all over again, except without the violence I experienced at the hands of my father. He also wanted me to behave in a certain way, but I was too stupid to understand that at the time.

But I am smarter now.

And the great thing about it is that if I have issues with behaving the way my family wants, it's my problem! So I'm free to relate to it however I like, as long as I do what I'm told. Anything I have issues with is between me and my therapist.

How's that for a Christmas and New Year's gift? The gift of compliance! Woo hoo!

JaneOnceMore · Dec 27, 2024, 10:56 PM

@Scooter9:

Yes, living single DOES have it's privileges! (Writing this wearing my pjs for the third day in a row!) Hopefully you get SOME pleasure from your family tho. Maybe not at the moment but can you remind yourself of times in the past when you've enjoyed them?

BeyondtheRainbow · Dec 27, 2024, 10:59 PM

@Scooter9

Are you allowed to use a SAD light? When I had to go off my AD to go on my MAOI I used one and it did help. I've used it other times since then and some years it helps and some it doesn't. This year it is helping immensely. But that first year it really did get me through until the MAOI kicked in.

MuddyBoots · Dec 27, 2024, 11:01 PM

Oi, it's 11pm and I'm petrified of going to bed. (Kinda wanna do a Sunday night repeat but not a Monday-today repeat so... gonna try and not do that)

raspberrytorte · Dec 28, 2024, 12:17 AM

@Scooter9

Sorry to hear about your situation. 😞

Be careful with the SAD lamp. I know I'm in the minority with having a bad reaction to it, but I think those things are evil! Made me paranoid, have delusional thoughts, messed with my sleep. Basically made me freak the fck out. Still have to return mine. Took me a few days to recover.

Scooter9 · Dec 28, 2024, 07:06 AM

@JaneOnceMore yup, that's the solution. Live by myself. The family and I are fundamentally incompatible at this point. It's too bad, we did have a good thing going at one time. But I was fully compliant back then, doing everything on the daily checklist without a fuss. I exhibited the behaviors they wanted and life was good, for them at least.

It's really too bad that the the only person who cares how I feel and cares to ask how things affect me is my therapist, whom I pay to listen to me. The people closest to me? Forget it!
@BeyondtheRainbow @raspberrytorte I cannot use a SAD lamp because I'm waiting for the psilocybin trial to start soon. They didn't want me to affect my mood before the trial.

Mountaindewed · Dec 28, 2024, 08:54 AM

I took another nap from 6:20-9:20 last night. Then I stayed up until 11:30 and I fell asleep until 6:50 this morning. Which is really late for me. I did my normal workout and I used my sunlamp. I feel pretty good today despite all this sleeping. My mom swears I'm gonna get her cold bug thing though.

Blue_Bird · Dec 28, 2024, 09:19 AM

Doing laundry, washing my comforter. Just laying on the couch with my laptop lap desk and browsing. Might play some games or watch some shows. Definitely gonna practice violin later. And probably ukulele as well. I love this laptop lap desk I got. It has memory foam on the bottom of it and is wood on top. And has a memory foam wrist wrest and fits my laptop and my mousepad and mouse.

Blueberrybook · Dec 28, 2024, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneOnceMore

@Scooter9:

Yes, living single DOES have it's privileges! (Writing this wearing my pjs for the third day in a row!) Hopefully you get SOME pleasure from your family tho. Maybe not at the moment but can you remind yourself of times in the past when you've enjoyed them?

Sometimes I feel this way too even though I love my family and realize how lucky I am to have them. But other times I long for the days I lived alone. And then feel guilty about it.

Blueberrybook · Dec 28, 2024, 09:28 AM

I slept pretty well last night until my cat Pecan started head-butting me to get up and feed her. When that didn't work, she laid next to me, her head opposite to mine, flicking her tail in my face. That got me up. 4 AM.

I took care of the cats, did pilates, showered, used the SAD lamp & read. Today we are having Christmas with my parents, grandmother, sisters, and extended family. I'm not really looking forward to it. It's too many people in one house, too loud, too much stimulation. On top of it, I'm due to start my period (2 days late but that happens), and just watch me start right at this celebration. It is a 1.5 hr drive each way to my family's house, and that is not much fun too especially since I have to sit in the backseat because H drives and my daughter tends to get carsick so does better in the front seat. Can't wait for this to be over.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Bipolar check-in #64	BeyondtheRainbow	Bipolar	1253	Apr 27, 2022 08:04 PM
Bipolar check-in #63	Anonymous 42424	Bipolar	1045	Mar 25, 2022 06:42 PM
Bipolar check in #45	Nammu	Bipolar	994	Apr 29, 2020 07:56 PM

Menu

Bipolar Check-in #85

My Support Forums