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#476
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Quote:
Squid games is really good too, also on Netflix I liked The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power on prime
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() raspberrytorte
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![]() June08, Nammu
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#477
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"Why don't you call the emergency line more often, Sammy?"
"well, I don't get a call back like the message says I would about 2/3 of the time, and of the remaining 1/3, it's 50/50 on whether I hang up on that phone feeling worse, and sometimes that worse isn't just "worse," sometimes it's "think of the worst torture you can come up with and do that to me" worse. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IF EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO BE LOUD AS **** SO WILL I IM GOING TO PUT ON THE MOST ANNOYING ****ING MUSIC AND PLAY ALONG TO IT.... IN THE WRONG KEY! TURNING ON ALL THE LIGHTS. WILL THERE BE MORE HOLES IN THE WALLS BY MORNING? MAYBE LESS CARPET? MAYBE I'LL BE IN FMMKKKING PENNSYLVANNIA!!!!!! BECAUSE I KNOW THOSE FKERS ARE AFTER ME! I don't want to do anything. I am the universe itself, and that is too fking much.. No wonder whatever other fking pilsl left and alcohol didn't kill me because I AM ALCOHOL AND PILLS AND BATH SALTS AND KETAMINE! Explains sooooooooo fking much. I don't want to take the new meds. I can't. I can't. I get lost in maze-like buildings easily. I don't want them to leave me. Maybe it'll feel better when it gets closer to 0K
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() Blue_Bird, Nammu, raspberrytorte, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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#478
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Had a good time at the New Year’s party. Of course with it being an official party of the building there was no alcohol and no fireworks. But we had a fun time anyway. First playing dirty bingo then playing uno. Plenty of snacks you’d think we were going to party all night instead of to 9:30. I’m so glad someone brought uno. It’s so much fun when you get a lot of people playing.
I’m really glad I live where I do.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, June08, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#479
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte
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![]() Blue_Bird, June08, MuddyBoots, unaluna
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#480
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Happy New Year!
We're having cabbage rolls tonight. Our family superstition is that you are to eat pork and sauerkraut on New Year's but I can't eat sauerkraut because of my MAOI so we skip that and substitute cabbage. It seems to work well enough. ![]() It sure makes me miss sauerkraut though.....I tried to get a reuben sandwich and scrape off all but a tiny bit of it and I got an immediate headache and flushing which means I broke the MAOI rules and got caught. I was ok but never again.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, June08, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#481
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This night has been really horrible and it`not even midnight yet. People are setting off their stupid fireworks and it`s frightening my dogs. This whole year has been bad and difficult. My Mother has Parkinson`s disease and it is getting worse. She fell in the bathroom earlier this month and fractured her sternum. She spend a few days in the hospital in December due to a bad infection. This year has really sucked. I`m really praying that 2025 will be better.
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![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, June08, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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#482
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Possible trigger:
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, June08, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, VerMOZZica
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#483
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Quote:
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#484
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Quote:
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, June08, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, VerMOZZica
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![]() Nammu, VerMOZZica
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#485
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I slept around 8 hr but had pretty disturbing dreams last night. I don’t know why but I am suddenly having a lot of distressing disturbing dreams. Almost every night now. It makes me want to take tizanidine nightly (a muscle relaxer to take only prn). I tend not to remember any dreams when I take it. Nightmares are the worst.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, June08, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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#486
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OMG, I am so hypersexual today, and still on my stupid period. Neither H nor I like intimacy when I'm on my period. Sometimes it really sucks being a woman
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, unaluna, Victoria'smom
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#487
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Good morning, happy new year!
I slept okay, about 7 1/2 hours. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning and then I have a volunteer shift with the rescue cats tomorrow night. Should be a good day. Not much going on today. Just reading mostly. I took yesterday and today off from practicing violin due to the holiday and am getting back to it tomorrow. Did some laundry this morning. Here’s a pic of my cat laying in the laundry fresh from the dryer lol I’m tired. Might take a nap
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#488
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Ooh i bet she loves that heat! Smart kitty!
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![]() Blue_Bird, raspberrytorte
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#489
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@Blue_bird Your kitty is so cute!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Blue_Bird, raspberrytorte
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#490
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I've had a pretty good day so far. I did pilates, showered, had breakfast, read with the SAD lamp, refilled meds, sketched 4 drawings (posted in the creative corner forum).
This evening we're going over to a friends' house for dinner. I'm a bit anxious about that. It is more H's and my daughter's friends than my own. I only really know the family casually.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#491
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I went to Dunkin this morning alone. Came home and played with the cat and cleaned out her box. Decided I need clean laundry after I got a shower and put on my last set of clean clothes. Waiting for the dryer to finish. Then Robert and I are going out. Caleb refuses to answer my calls. He’s off work today so I remembered he was going to drive an hour for breakfast at Hardee’s which he loves but now it’s way past morning and he’s not calling back. So I’m in the dark. Maybe he will call later.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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#492
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I made it to midnight. After a couple short naps. Then I put in my headphones to tune out the fireworks and I fell asleep until 7. I worked out and watched the news. I'm kinda tired now. My anxiety is fine. I'm not stressing about the dentist. And my moods are fine. My stomach is good too. I'm just feeling that voidy type feeling.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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#493
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Oh, I had an awful night. Couldn’t get to sleep. Tried getting up and watching a stupid show— something with puppets and spies. Was after 5 am when I finally drifted off and 9am when I woke up. Vivid dreams of some up scale department store, I had a grief with them then decided to work there, they were trying to give me the brush off but I persevered. Got a call from a friend she wants to do dinner. I’m so beat.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, June08, MuddyBoots, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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#494
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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all for being here in 2025!
I want to give each of you the biggest hug from the fattest friendly non-murderous bear EVER! Unless hugs aren't your thing, then just know you're the greatest and there is not a single other person on this board I believe is unappreciated. ![]()
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Blue_Bird, June08, Mountaindewed, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom
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#495
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@MuddyBoots thank you, this means a lot to me.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
#496
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Wondering if anyone has heard from @LadyShadow lately?
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, raspberrytorte
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#497
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Nope. When she popped on for that short time she sounded most unwell. I’m hoping she’s in the hospital and getting care. I think about her too.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
#498
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I haven't heard anything either. I will admit it though that when she didn't pop on for a few days after I checked the facebook page she posted, and she's not active there either. Best and most likely case is she went back to the hospital.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() Nammu
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#499
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She hasn't logged onto the site since the day she sounded so unwell so I would guess she's back in the hospital. I hope she's doing better.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
![]() MuddyBoots
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![]() Nammu
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#500
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I ended up taking a nice nap, I woke up to my cat laying on me purring which was nice
![]() I practiced violin. I wasn’t planning on practicing today but it felt too weird not practicing so I practiced.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Blueberrybook, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Closed Thread |
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