Bipolar Check-in #87

@LadyShadow - What a beautiful picture!

My GI wants to send me out of state to either Northwestern Memorial or Rush in Chicago

I'm going to try to give up all the triggering foods first. I've been drinking coffee because of this extreme fatique. I did set up an appointment with my PCP for the 31st.

I took the new blood pressure med, and holy hell the anxiety. Nothing is getting rid of it. Idk anymore. But cutting out coffee is the first step.

Just mixed up more of the Southwest spice blend I use to make a variation of southwest turkey bean soups. Actually, it's a knockoff HelloFresh blend mix. It usually lasts me a month or two, but I'm out and planning on making a southwest turkey black bean soup for dinner this evening, so it's nice to have the spice blend already mixed.

Sorry for not responding individually to everyone; sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I've been pretty tired lately. I thought maybe it was allergies, but then I woke up to my period 5 days early So that may have been the source of my fatigue right there.

I've been spending a lot of time reading and drawing; the days seem to go by quickly.

So I may get another dog possibly for service. We'll see she's 4 months but she's had some issues. We're talking about it I'm worried because my SD is 14 years old.

Did my drawings. It was a scarecrow and I skipped ahead and drew the lightbulb. They both turned out pretty good. Need to learn patience for shading tho.

I’m bummed Thursday is one of the days there’s something to watch, instead basketball preemptively takes place. Ugh sports should be on sports channels.

I am done with blood pressure meds. I'll talk with my doctor when I see him. This was the worst anxiety I've had all year after just one dose. It was like a constant 5 hour panic attack. I think things are finally calming down

Did you try any coping skills before overdosing on valium today? its really dangerous and triggering to see your posts nearly weekly about Oding

One more art thing today. Did this drawing using the tutorial from the book Manga drawing school : take your art to the next level, step-by-step by Yu Mei. It’s a manga eye with rainbow eyeshadow. Hopefully it posts right side up.

Anyway I had a good day. I did 10 min on the treadmill. 30 min walk outside. A 2 hour paint session with my friends. Meditated, journaled, read. Drew some more. Made some delicious puff pastries. Took a shower. All in all I feel good and am enjoying the night now.

That’s really good blue bird 🐦. You have a good variety of activities

I saw my family dr today. No real diagnosis but I have a script for famotidine for my stomach and got samples of a couple of migraine meds. I thought he was going to give me a script for zofran too but I guess not. Or it's at the pharmacy. I'll find out tomorrow. At least now I've established contact on this with him. I hope the meds work and I feel better soon. Right now I'm so tired. This has been a really big week. Tomorrow all I have to do is go get my prescription and make a couple of phone calls so hopefully I'll get some rest.

I’m not attacking you I asked a question. It’s dangerous how much pills you take otc and prescribed. One day it’s gonna be too much and we tell you this every week. If you can’t cope without oding on benzos weekly I don’t see you working to get better. Meds don’t fix everything. You have to learn distress tolerance skills such as DBT. You can’t just keep popping pills more ad more to cope. Benzos will eventually stop working and they cause dementia with long term use. We don’t even allow them barely in ky. I take klonopin only when the coping skills have been exhausted and that’s how they’re meant to be used.

Look if I didn’t care about you dying at an early age I wouldn’t say ****. It’s dangerous.

I'm sorry. I overeacted.

Glad I got my hair done today. I feel so much better. She managed to straighten my hair without a straightening iron. That’s something I can’t do! Just been chilling at home. Tried to sleep this afternoon but couldn’t. Got to pick up my son from school in an hour so there’s no time to do that now. I should really be doing my nails!

Man, that one blood pressure med messed up my entire psych cycle.

Idk who mentioned carafate and constipation. But I've eaten 6 chocolate laxatives and I've had 2 bottles of water and have had nothing but intense stomach pain for the last 6 hours that is keeping me up.

I'm still up. Idk if I should go to the ER now. My stomach pain is intense and I look 3 months pregnant. I ordered a $10 hoodie off Temu. I hope I didn't do anything too dumb.

Weird. I've never pulled an all nighter except once when I was 13. But I'm not normally in this amount of pain.

I swear the AC is on. I have the chills real badly. And something is ticking in my room.

I woke up my mom and she told me to take Tylenol.

Why is the heat set at 69. We don't even have a porcupine. Lol bad joke.

I think I also read that blood pressure med can give you insomnia.

Do not take carafate if you already have a history of constipation. I feel very unwell right now from diarrhea and pain and throwing up from the pain and being sleep deprived from not getting any sleep.

Well, there goes the zopiclone! It's the third day and took two last night and I'm awake after 5 hours.

Sure, 5 hours is better than the 3 before.

The hangover is awful though!

I had to go somewhere yesterday morning and took a Klonopin and wow, that was quite the experience! I was fine driving, no issues at all. But I had to walk through the city for a while and that was hard. I couldn't keep a straight line and I felt like I was floating.

Getting back by car was fine, I guess it was the extra movement of walking and in an unfamiliar place.

Yes it was me who warned you. Carafate made me so miserable

I'm having a bad morning. Woke early 2 hr. last night. I tried using the lamp an extra half hour and still not helping.

Dissociating...afraid I'm crashing

I do tell my doctors everything? I'm waiting to hear back from my GI about a med I want to stop and I see my PCP next week. I literally told my pdoc 3 years ago I was out of control with my xanax and he decided to put me on valium instead.

Some parts of histrionic personailty disorder fit me but I do not want to be the center of attention and I wear the same plain black t shirt, jeans and nikes to blend in because what trans person wants attention on them?

It was an ER doctor who prescribed it who was rushing us out because they were incredibly busy at 3:30AM. I am waiting to hear back from my GI about my GI stuff and if I need to go to the hospital in Chicago for furthur treatment. I didn't even remember the med side effect until another member on here told me.

I had a morning, I'm just not going to go over it. Afraid I could be crashing. Hoping it's a combination of my period and outdoor allergies (allergies exhaust me). Woke up every 2 hr. last night. Had the usual morning, tried drawing, it didn't calm me much. Drew a sheet of torn paper that is supposed to look realistic, but I don't know. All 3 of my drawings are in the creative corner forum.

Blueberry I think your paper looks good. Sorry you’re having such a bad morning.

Not a great start to the day. I woke up early today with a migraine so bad it actually



I get migraines occasionally but never that bad. Anyway I just laid in bed in the dark for like 6 hours ours and fell asleep on and off then woke up feeling better around 12pm. I had really bizarre dreams. Idk if it was a fever or just feeling hot from the migraine. Whatever it is though is gone now. I missed my morning meds though because of that. Oh well , I’ll take my night meds tonight then get back on track with my morning meds tomorrow.

I have so many dishes to clean so I need to get started on that soon.

Hoping to salvage the rest of the day. I’m normally up by 6am and my day is really just getting started at 12:30pm now cause I woke up so late.

Do you have the option of a complete care team in your area? When I was in WV I had a complete care team. My pdoc, t and medical team shared notes. So anything I told one the others knew even my specialist so I didn't have to repeat and I didn't have to worry about missing information. If that's not an option think about residential so they can fix everything and give you your medicine at certain times and observe you so the Drs know everything you're struggling with. I know it's hard to speak up and get people to listen especially as a minority ( LGBT not race). I know it's all being dismantled now but you sound like you have good insurance. I just don't want something really bad to happen to you.