[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Taking watermelon 🍉 to work today for recess. Bought it yesterday. Not sure how much it will full me up but hey it’s fruit and it’s damn delicious! I love watermelon!

Monday is a public holiday. Yes please!

I stopped at a store and bought watermelon for my daughter and me to have for our late lunch today (in addition to sandwiches)! It was SO good!

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I stopped at a store and bought watermelon for my daughter and me to have for our late lunch today (in addition to sandwiches)! It was SO good!

I had some slices of the watermelon 🍉 last night and it was oh so juicy and tasty 🤤

[Moose72]

Caleb has been ignoring me today. Won’t answer call or texts.

[LadyShadow]

Sorry you're going through so much hassle @Blueberrybook - I have a similar situation going on - I know I have to do this because if anything ever happens to my CPAP I am in a lot of trouble. But my sleep study neurologist retired and all my records are in some type of black hole. I have been trying months to get them from wherever they were transferred to my new doctor, but its been like you said, pure h*ll. I know I have to try again though because I need those records. But it's all so daunting and frustrating, I am so sorry you're going through that.

@Crazy Hitch - I love watermelon! I could eat it all day!

I had a weird experience today. I don't know where my head was but I thought the signal on my car was broken. Like I am pushing the windsheild wiper level thinking its the signal and started panicking, meanwhile the signal is actually on the left. How could I possibly forget that? It was an odd absent-minded feeling.

Other than that, listening to all the 80s music and having a good time. I should do this more often. @unaluna - I looked up 1986 songs and added a bunch to my playlist. They were some really great songs that year!

Also, waiting on a phone call that I hope comes.

[Blueberrybook]

@LadyShadow - I was going to say about your meeting someone and then disparaging yourself as to your appearance. You are absolutely gorgeous! You have such a beautiful smile and gorgeous dark eyes and lovely hair...and not just on the outside, you have a beautiful soul as well. I know we are our own worst critics when it comes to our appearance, but believe me, your pictures are stunning!

[Nammu]

Ehh my painting is so so, I like my trees and leaves but the background and foreground,…ehh. Touch up work tomorrow and framing. I have to go back to hobby lobby and get another frame the one I got was too big. So I’ll go before class. I snagged a front parking place and don’t want to loose it.

Besides tonight at 6:30 the custodian is gonna tell us about our new AC. Hopefully this summer the hallways won’t be over 100. Eh.

I’m all eh and ho hum. I don’t think I’m getting good sleep.

Oh, blueberry medical complex is so bogged down in redundancy and hurdles now days. I know medicine has come a long way but I miss my family doctor I grew up with, his office handled everything. It was just him and his nurse wife. When I got sent to the Mayo at 9 I think his wife handled all the records.

Shadow, yes you are so pretty, who cares if you’re a bit overweight you’re stunning.

[Blueberrybook]

@Nammu Are you still doing gouche painting?

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

@Nammu Are you still doing gouche painting?

Nope, this class is watercolor which I find the hardest to do. Yesterday we did background and mine seemed so pale and washed out to everyone else’s. Today we went over 6 techniques to do leaves. I really struggled with the water color. It was interesting walking around the room, everyone had a different take on the assignment. Some did landscape and others did portrait. We’re all doing birch trees, but the number of trees and background is different in all the pictures. It is so cool.

[Blue_Bird]

Turns out that particular bus doesn’t run on Saturday to the aquarium. So I called the aquarium and asked if I could change my ticket date to tomorrow (Friday) instead and they said yes and they put me in the system for tomorrow. It was an online ticket I bought so I would have been upset if I couldn’t change it cause I’d have no other way to get to the aquarium on Saturday. So I’m going there tomorrow around 11am. I’m gonna take a lot of pictures and videos. I got on the treadmill for 30 min today. Then I took a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day cause I was feeling really tired.

I’ve mostly been reading all day

I feel good. Been doing well on the Lamictal.

Also I haven’t dissociated in a week and a half

[Scooter9]

I’ve been posting for a while about feeling low and how things have gotten progressively harder over the past several months.

Lately, I’ve decided to shift how I think about treatment. I’ve tried a lot over the years: medications, IOP, even some unconventional options. But each new attempt came with hope that things might finally turn around, and the emotional cost of that hope, especially when things don’t change, adds up.

So I’ve started taking a more realistic and sustainable approach. Rather than chasing improvement, I’m focusing on staying as steady and functional as I possibly can. For me, that means treating depression more like chronic pain — managing the discomfort and working to maintain enough capacity to get through each day with some consistency.

It’s not the end of the story, just a different chapter.

[Scooter9]

Sorry your sister doesn't acknowledge your birthday @Blue_Bird.

You have nice memories of celebrating your birthdays with your mother, and hopefully that brings you some comfort.

It's good you were able to change your ticket for the aquarium. Places like that, including museums, theaters, etc are often quite flexible and understanding, so it's good it worked out.

When it works, Lamictal is a really good med. I took it for many years and although it's subtle, it is effective.

[Crazy Hitch]

I asked my mother last night, if we pay for her ticket from America to Australia, would she come to our wedding. She sent me a message this morning asking me to ring her. I can't ring her for another half an hour when it's recess. Time is dragging. I want to know if she's coming to our wedding or not lol

[HALLIEBETH87]

been feeling the familiar bugs crawling on my body today. its just stress

[Mountaindewed]

My mom brought back some french onion soup from Outback and I woke up really confused and I tried eating the soup and spilled it all over mostly my L shaped pillow and my shirt. Since it got mostly on my pillow it wasnt a big mess. I just took the pillow and wiped off my bed and put another shirt on.

I was able to save the cheese and the bread hadn't fallen out.

[Crazy Hitch]

MY MOTHER IS COMING TO MY WEDDING! I haven't seen her for thirteen freaking years! You guys I'm so excited I don't want to teach for the rest of the day anymore lol

[BeyondtheRainbow]

@Crazy Hitch That's WONDERFUL! How long has it been since you saw her?

[Moose72]

Finally talked with Caleb. All is fine.

We had a church choir party for the end of the year. N3 had wine. I asked him to call when he got home- he lives 40 miles away. He called. He’s fine.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

@Crazy Hitch That's WONDERFUL! How long has it been since you saw her?

I just worked out I haven't seen her since 2011! And I'll be seeing her in 2026 so it will be going on 15 years by the time I see her!!!!

[June08]

That's such great news @Crazy Hitch!

[June08]

Today was a good day. I'm actually feeling a little happy and cautiously hopeful. This is because I had my first of what will hopefully be many meetings with a group of women who I will be working through different Endow women's studies with. The first study we are doing is on Catholic social teaching. We will meet once a week for eight weeks. After that, summer will be over so we will revisit when we meet and how often. We'll probably take August off and then start our next study in September. I'm the only one who cannot meet in the middle of the work day during the school year, but I'm hoping they will be willing to change the time to one where I can still attend once school starts. I'm very thankful to know I'll get some human interaction at least once a week throughout the summer.

I also read a little bit today, walked on my walking pad, did a few bodyweight exercises, and watched some TV.

[unaluna]

Youtube guy made a sandwich with watermelon as the bread, havarti cheese, pickles, and balsamic glaze.

Ladyshadow - thats interesting! Ive had similar stuff. Something you usually do automatically but mix up when you try to think about it. They say thats a great way to mess up an opponents golf swing, ask them a question about it.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Today is turning out to be a good day. I slept late, but luckily, I didn't have to worry about work today. I managed to do pretty well this week, which is a huge plus. I don't have to worry about it till next week at least. I had a pretty good conversation with my guy last night and we talked about a lot of 80s music. It's been a long time since I opened up an 80s playlist, so it's been fun revisiting that today. Plus, we went over all the songs he liked, so I am listening to that too.

It's amazing how my moods are so extreme. I guess that's what being bipolar is. What is so concerning is how LOW and horrible my lows really are, and how scared I am to take anti-depressants due to my history of extreme mania. It's so hard to stay balanced.

I wish there was some way around this. I am so scared of mania but the depressive parts of bipolar I have been feeling have been SO bad - it sucks that I have therapy once a month.

I have heard that welbutrin is the only really safe med for depression ask about it from your doctor. Are you on lamictal?
It is a solid mood stabilizer that has antidepressant properties to it.

[LadyShadow]

Thanks so much that means so much to me @Blueberrybook @Nammu - I really beat myself up pretty bad. It is really unncecessary. I don't know why I do it to myself, or why I say such bad things about myself, it is really sad what I do to myself. But you guys are right, and very kind.

@bizi - I will look into Welbutrin. I am so hesitant of changing medicines because my body reacts so strongly to things, especially mental health meds, so I will have to see. But I have to do something about all the bad feelings.

I hope you have a good time tomorrow @Blue_Bird ! I hope you take lots of pictures! I am glad you had such a good painting time @Nammu - I am sure your leaves came out beautiful!

As for me, today was a really good day. I do celebrate the good days. My heart is so vulnerable, it just breaks so easy sometimes.

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning. Heading to the aquarium soon.

[Victoria'smom]

ED dietitian talk

Possible trigger:

I'm so frustrated my dietitian wants me to just drink water cutting out 90% of my calorie intake and start to swim. I tried to warn her Ill loose weight to fast her answer was Add peanut butter which I can't because I have dentures I'm so frustrated ill talk to my therapist Monday. Maybe she thinks I'll eat more if I drank less.. but we don't have money like that so frustrated