[Mountaindewed]

Food talk

Possible trigger:

the idea of food sounds like dog whoop.I didn't tell my therapist but she kept asking questions about food and maybe she could tell something was up today

Crookshanks hissed at me and he has only done that one other time and that was a few years ago. Not sure what his issue is today. He likes Gary and my mom and thats about it. He is just a grumpy cat.

[June08]

Happy Birthday @LadyShadow!!

[Blue_Bird]

I ordered dominoes pizza today. It took awhile for them to get here. Immediately after the delivery I got an email saying sorry we let you down here’s a coupon for a free 2 topping medium pizza. I didn’t even complain to them they just did it automatically. That’s really awesome though I’m definitely gonna use my coupon to get some more pizza within the next week.

Anyway, I feel relieved now that I had my doctor appointment, and less worried. Also the pain has subsided. I haven’t had those random bursts of sharp pain in my head today.

Saturday I have my volunteer shift then Sunday I’ve gotta go to the pharmacy. Monday I have bloodwork for both my psychiatrist and my primary care doctor. (They work in the same mental health clinic)

Coming up on July 9th I have my yearly physical. Then july 14th I have my vision appointment to get new glasses.

Other than that not much going on. Got appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist in the next two weeks. Doing well on my meds. So once I have my next appointment with my psychiatrist I can start coming off the trileptal.

[Nammu]

I slept very deeply and for a long time, about 9-10 hrs. It depends on what time I fell asleep. I had another headache that was keeping me awake, got up and took it with a few swallows of Pepsi. I was hoping the caffeine would help. But I think my headaches are from my neck. Back when I was in so much pain and they did mris. And X-rays both my back and neck were out of alignment. Had surgery on my back and that took care of the pain until recently. My neck is hurting and I think it’s the Alinement. I have constant headaches, nerve damage symptoms in my right arm. I’m not going to a chiropractor, no way. I don’t like them messing with my neck. I’m afraid to go to the regular doctor as they will probably recommend surgery again. I’m doing the neck exercises they showed me and hoping that it will go away.

[HALLIEBETH87]

i have to go for a filling repair in two weeks and i have dental anxiety. i HATE going and panic. am i alone in this??? but its so messed up were my old detnist did it i cant even chew on that side.

[Crazy Hitch]

TFIF!

Been a long week, emotionally. Really getting impacted by that class.

[Victoria'smom]

So my therapist wants me to call my pdoc. I'm not as symptomatic kinda but I'm having breakthrough audio and visual hallucinations as well as paranoid and some delusions, I'm angry but that's going away but I'm not sleeping now. She thinks I'm elevated. She was less thrilled

Possible trigger:

I didn't tell her about the self harm thoughts before

along with the cognition issues and the lack of ability to get my medication She's concerned. So I messaged my pdoc. Hopefully he'll get back to me.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel like I lifted something heavy. I took more more OTC stuff

Possible trigger:

tossed it up and and a bunch of body armor and water

So now I'm trying to avoid my primary doctor.

Possible trigger:

I can't eat anything

but I'm trying to hang on again like last week.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

i have to go for a filling repair in two weeks and i have dental anxiety. i HATE going and panic. am i alone in this??? but its so messed up were my old detnist did it i cant even chew on that side.

You are definitely not alone! I have horrible dental anxiety too! In fact, I just got home from the dentist this afternoon getting a permanent crown placed, a cavity filled, and a crown buildup and temporary crown on the other side of my mouth. At least nitrous helps...though of course they charge an additional fee for it, and I'm thinking no F*ing way I'm ever getting a crown without nitrous again. Did that once and never. ever.again. If you need a crown to fix the filling, definitely get nitrous if you can. And it doesn't help that everything the dentist does costs a fortune even with dental insurance!

[Blueberrybook]

@Blue_Bird - I know it's stressful to have a lot of appointments in a short period of time. Be gentle on yourself and don't hesitate to re-schedule if you need to (within the "allotted" cancellation period, don't you love that, like doctors think you can plan your sicknesses/periods, insomnia, car problems, children's problems 24-48 hr in advance!). My entire month of June was that way, one of the weeks particularly bad with 4 appts. in 1 week! Yeah, I definitely overscheduled myself there, but everything is done with now other than I'll have to get a permanent crown cemented when it gets in and I need to see the eye doc, but I may just wait for July for the eye doc, I've been to every doctor under the moon this month and then some!

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah appointments. I've had weeks where I've had 3 in one day lol. In the same effing building.

I think I can avoid the one tommorow. I just needed to wait it out a bit more.

I just had pdoc and therapy this week. Next week I think I'm fine besides therapy.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm only meant to see my pdoc in August.

Wondering if I should make it in July sometime when I'm on school holidays because my mood is dipping. Problem is I'm on the highest dose of my anti depressant, my lithium and my abilify so he can't do much med wise so I kind of feel like what's the point really in making an earlier appointment?

I seem to be swinging an awful lot in to these lower periods than normal. I'm about a 4 out of 10 where 0 is the worst and 10 is the best. So I mean I could be lower and I certainly have been lower in the past.

[Victoria'smom]

So up the congentin, start abilify pills, haldol stays the same. H has to get the medication tonight he wants me to make sure I take it all tonight.

[Nammu]

Speaking of appointments I tried going though the portal and it told me it can’t help. So I tired my loins. And picked up the phone. They had me talk to a nurse line who asked a ton of questions then said she wanted me to be seen in 24 hrs. But there’s nothing in town, either at the same day clinic or internal medicine. So July 2nd I have to drive to the next town over. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I know they are going to have to have me get X-rays and or mris before they can make any decisions. But I think she wanted to rule out heart issues or spinal meningitis neither of which I have. I know it’s my spine issues acting up again.

[Crazy Hitch]

Ate the most delicious mandarin in the staffroom. Bought in by a maths teacher who has a tree of them in his garden. They're not sweet they're quite tangy.

[Blueberrybook]

Oh my God my mouth is in pain now the dental anesthetic has worn off! Last time it wasn't so bad as this; in fact, the last 8 or 9 or however many crowns I've had other than the root canal have never been this bad! I can only take Tylenol too because of my ulcer history, and it's not doing much. I hope the pain won't make it too hard to sleep tonight.

[Crazy Hitch]

There's nothing like anaesthetic wearing off. I remember after my c-section with my son. I delivered him just before 12:00pm and by 5:00pm that evening I was vomiting from the pain. So bad!

[JaneOnceMore]

Socialized with "H" and "M" today. H is from Eritrea and got excited showing me videos of the capital, Amsara, and explaining how beautiful it is. You could hear the longing in her voice. I said it must be hard to be so far from home. I think she got emotional because she took a privacy break. Sad. The government there is very unfriendly to visitors so she can't go back to visit as it's too risky, they throw you in jail on a pretext. She's really in a bind. But here she has community activities several times a year, tho i'm sure it's not the same as being home and having everything familiar on a daily basis. Poor H.

It probably didn't help that M and i carried on chatting like nothing was wrong. I worry that it was stressful for H. She's got such heavy work and family responsibilities, the last thing she needs is to also be pining for home. I hope she is alright. I'll check on her tomorrow. She might just have been tired. Her family is not very helpful.

I chatted with "R" this morning, the man who i had the romantic fiasco with earlier this year who is fresh out of detox and he's doing well. It turns out that the junior superintendent who he is friendly with cared for his beloved cat while R was away and even cleaned his bathroom for him! Wow! I am impressed! What a good man our junior superintendent is! Such a joy to have come home to a clean bathroom and a healthy cat!

R asked me what i was doing today, showing that he's not totally absorbed in his own travails, and i shared that i am relaxing due to post-traumatic stress from an accident on the 2nd. He was supportive and wished me a speedy recovery and did not ask any prying questions. It was a good experience for us, tho i am a bit concerned about how i noted that his new white beard is very handsome on him with his iron hair and olive skin. I didn't say anything to him about it, i just noted it to myself. But it's not gonna help me keep a careful distance between us if i am noting how good-looking he is. Well, one can't help looking at someone one is talking to. Shunning him is no solution. I'll just have to keep it in my pants!!!

Still having messy days emotionally, with elation in the early morning and exhaustion later in the day with some anxiety and dread for no reason at all. PTSD i guess. I've canceled out of a weekend social event as it would be too stressful and late in the day. I am sorry to miss it but group events are off-limits for a while until i am more stable in my recovery.

I wrote for an hour today in my journal (on computer) and enjoyed it. I've been writing for most of my life, for school, the school newspaper, essays in university, not too much in my twenties when i had a career as a computer programmer, but then every day since in my journal and on support sites. I now have 17,000 pages-worth of a journal-on-computer, to be shared on a website after my death along with a work of spoken-word art. My legacy, tho my journal tends to be about whether i had diarrhea that day or not, hahaha!!! Not sure ANYONE is going to want to read about THAT!!!!!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Time for a new thread:



Bipolar Check-In #91

I'll request that this one be closed.