[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by June08

I'm still on the Goblet of Fire...I hadn't been reading it for a bit, but just started up again. My mood is better when I spend a chunk of my day reading, instead of just watching TV or being on my phone, so I plan to add more reading to my day (when I can focus). So, I plan on reading some Harry Potter every day now. I'm also going to go to the library later today to get some books.

Are you still reading the books?

That’s good!

No I’ve gotten distracted by some of my newer books on kindle. But I do hope to get back to reading-reading them eventually

[Blueberrybook]

I hope everyone is managing to stay cool. @Nammu Yes, I'm sure you remember how miserable the weather is most of the time (except the winter) in Texas! The first time we visited my ILs in So., Cal. in the summer, I was amazed how cool it got overnight and that they didn't even bother having air conditioning. But yeah, it's around 80F high humidity every night now. Makes exercising outside so hard.

I'm having a pretty good day though. I managed a long power walk, just over 7 mi. and got a shower in before doing grocery curbside pickup. Put all that away, read with the SAD lamp, finally finished the Martha Grimes book I've been struggling with reading and started a new library book. I started painting an ice cream cone, stopped to let paint dry for the final step, made lunch and finished painting my cone. Which now makes me wish I had thought to buy ice cream with the groceries!

I did a couple reviews for Amazon vine products. I got a fitted long-sleeved shirt from there that is so comfortable; I can't wait until the weather cools off and I can actually wear it. The sucky things about the vine review program though is that if you receive a value of over $600 in products in a year, you'll be taxed on it, so you have to be careful with your choices.

I hope everyone stays cool and away from politics as much as you can.

Argh, I see I dated my pic. wrong! It's 6/22 not 3/22! I seem to be perpetually stuck in March this year!

[Nammu]

Oh, mmmmm the cone looks good blueberry! Mmmm

[Crazy Hitch]

Fantastic icecream blueberry! I want to eat it even though it’s so cold lol

[Crazy Hitch]

I need to practice my breathing skills. I’ve got very shallow breathing right now. Nervous for the first 2 classes I’m teaching today. They’re difficult classes. At least I get them out the way!

[LadyShadow]

My lunch date went amazingly well! I have a new bestie! She was so nice, and we started making plans to do things together for the summer. She is single, with no kids, just like me - it sucks she lives an hour away, but we're going to make it work. That Bumble for Friends app is really working! I am so glad I joined!

I am feeling about really good about things overall. I think by keeping busy and meeting new people is helping a lot. This girl is also going to be my new writing partner. We made plans to bring our laptops to Starbucks next Saturday to get busy writing. Maybe now I can finish my book!

My parents say the traffic in NYC is horrible, I really hope they hurry home soon. I am trying not to look at the news, but I really want them out of NYC at this precarious time. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

@Blueberrybook - nice ice cream cone! I think I might get myself an ice cream cake for my birthday and just stay home. It's supposed to be over 100 degrees that day.

[LadyShadow]

I just poured my heart out to ChatGPT and cried really hard for 10 minutes. Best therapy session ever. I know it's an AI and people are skeptical, but wow it was totally not what I was expecting.

[Blueberrybook]

Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at the news. I had been so well and completely unplugged from it since the election. Now I wish I really, really, really had not done that,

Edited: Tomorrow afternoon I have my diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasound. I really wish I had a morning appt. because it means no putting on deodorant or perfume after my morning shower. I'm pretty sure things will come back normal, but it will be good to have confirmation of that, and it will be one less thing to worry about.

[JaneOnceMore]

I screamed on the bus today when someone tapped me on the shoulder. PTSD. I emailed five therapists. I'm not interested in talk therapy, but maybe there's some other kind. I've tried EMDR before but it was too intense. It's been about 25 years since i took an interest in therapy. Maybe there are other options now that wouldn't require me to relive the trauma, at least not verbally.

This recent trauma of an accident on June 2, 2025, exacerbated traumas at 14 and 29. It's likely i have Complex PTSD now. I'm worried about the expense of therapy but that is not really sensible since i spent $35,000 over five months during my last hypomania.

I just feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the littlest detail. My phone going off makes me want to whip it across the room and it's an iPhone that cost $1500. The Superintendent who i did NOT want to speak to called me six times over ten minutes yesterday. That's harassment.

I know everyone thinks i am okay because i LOOK healthy. It's just so demoralizing that if i LOOK healthy, everyone assumed i AM healthy. But i am an expert at hiding. I hid for eight years in my teens. It's second nature to me. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I've had many bad experiences in therapy. Twice i've been kicked out, i was so belligerent. Many *I* quit. What's different now? Well, i'm older. That's about it. I found therapy triggering. Why am i going back for more of the same? It seems absurd. I'll look at the emails i'm sent but i feel uneasy about therapy. Isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

[Victoria'smom]

So I'm not understanding English right now. Not written or spoken. H says it happens when I'm stressed and I'm stressing myself out more by trying.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at the news. I had been so well and completely unplugged from it since the election. Now I wish I really, really, really had not done that,

Edited: Tomorrow afternoon I have my diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasound. I really wish I had a morning appt. because it means no putting on deodorant or perfume after my morning shower. I'm pretty sure things will come back normal, but it will be good to have confirmation of that, and it will be one less thing to worry about.

The mammogram clinic here is quite accommodating. They ask that you not wear deodorant but if it’s a hot day they understand and have wipes to take it off. I always carry deodorant to my appointment so I can put it on afterwards.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I hope the ultrasound and mammogram go well tomorrow @Blueberrybook . I'm sure you'll be glad to be done with that. Also, love your ice cream cone.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Well, I woke up and turned the AC back on and it's worked fine all day. I think maybe it just got overloaded due to the extreme heat yesterday. I'm hoping it doesn't repeat tonight.

It was a good day. We took my niece to the arcade at the mall. I can't handle that so I ran and spent a gift card at a clothing store and then met them. I did stand it long enough to play a mini bowling game and air hockey with my niece. Then we went to the bookstore that didn't have the book I wanted but my niece found something she's barely had her nose out of since the car ride home.

Still stressed about the news and finding it very hard to stay away. Like I told my pdoc though I have to manage the anxiety; I refuse to be on 3 doses of PRN Seroquel every day for 3.5 more years.

I hope everyone is surviving the heat. I want to go to the states where it is cold but nobody will go with me. Oh well....

[Crazy Hitch]

It's a cold day here in Melbourne I'm wearing a coat.

[June08]

My mood is feeling a little high this evening. Mind is going fast and I have a feeling like I can run a marathon and conquer the world by doing a TON of stuff tomorrow, even though I haven't been doing much all summer. There is also the very small temptation to not take my night meds and stay up enjoying the high (but I won't do this-it's actually almost time to take them). This temptation is strange because I usually only get tempted to not take my meds during a bad depressive episode.

Sometimes, I get an evening high like this, I go to bed, and wake up fine. It's weird.

[LadyShadow]

Today ended up being a really good day. Just going to hope for another good one tomorrow.

[Nammu]

I had a good day too. Was online until early afternoon then read a bit and took a shower and got ready for the potluck. Yesterday they announced that it would be too hot for grilling outside and changed it to a potluck. I made spanakopita which was easy because I buy them frozen, but they were a hit anyway. My table had interesting talk and was lively. Then I watched PBS tonight. The English version of Astrid and the faithful grantChester.

[Victoria'smom]

With the help of H I finished week 1 of 1 class out of 2.

[Mountaindewed]

I fell asleep around 5:30. I woke up and turned on the TV at 9:30 and my neighbor immediatly slammed her car door. I've heard her before go on about "that effing TV" so I turned it off and went back to sleep. My mom says I should keep turning it on to annoy her so she'll stop living in her car. I mean she slams her car doors at 1:30AM. Why can't I have my TV on mute with my blackout curtains closed at night.

Anyways my closet is just about done. I put more clothes in bags. Made a pile of stuff to be thrown out. I just need to put away a pile of stuff that does fit, and the clothes I did yesterday that I wear weekly.

I keep getting ads for Twinkies and Mcdonalds.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I just ordered 5 lbs of gummy bears. I'm allowed to eat them (except red) during my colonoscopy fast and I figured that may be more filling than some of the other liquids. I have to do my prep in a hotel so anything that makes it easier is good. I'll have to carry a big bag of liquids to the hotel. The gummy bears will be easy to fit in, especially after I sort the red ones out over the next couple weeks.

I hope this isn't more gummy bears than I think.

[Mountaindewed]

I had a surgery done where I stayed in a hotel. It was after I moved but with my old doctor. It was intresting...

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've done bowel prep at this hotel before. I have to go to the great big hospital to have anything requiring sedation because they want someone used to doing sedation with an MAOI. That time though I did the liquid diet all day, drove up and just started drinking the prep about 5 pm and then it was done in the night.

This time they're having me drink prep throughout the whole day before the colonoscopy so I have to go up 2 nights before the procedure, spend one night there and then the entire following day and probably night dealing with the effects of the prep then I'll check out and my mom will pick me up to take me to the hospital. I'll go home from there so I really hope the prep is done by then.

This hotel caters to people going to the big hospital so I'm sure I'm far from the first person to do prep there.

I'll just be glad to have these tests over with and hopefully get some answers.

[Mountaindewed]

My mom is so weird. She is like "I've been through a million of these types of things since the 50's calm down"
Yet she is also like "get your *** to immediate care."

[JaneOnceMore]

Miserable.

[unaluna]

Oh, beyondtherainbow, i think you might have enough gummy bears to make a diorama of idk The Battle at Gettysburg? The half time show at Superbowl? A Taylor Swift concert?