[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

@Blue Bird my mom is gone and took my credit cards with her so I don't buy anything I don't need. I have to ask to buy everything so I can stay on track with things for the month. I've never been my own payee.

That’s good! Yeah my mom was my payee from when I was 19 immediately when I started getting SSI till she died when I was 22. Then my sister was my payee from then until a few months ago and I’m 31 now.

Sucks I have to get one again but it’ll be good in the long run. It’ll help me build up savings again. And keep me from impulse shopping. This time mine will be someone through the YMCA doing it. There’s like a $40 fee per month to have one through there but again , it’ll be well worth it. $40 a month is nothing when it’ll keep me from impulsively spending hundreds a month

[Moose72]

Caleb called. He’ll be here between 1 and 1;30. Still haven’t heard from N3.

[Blue_Bird]

I slept really good last night. I took the increased dose of Thorazine (400mg) and got the highest sleep score on Fitbit I’ve ever gotten in all my years of using it, an 89. Got 11 hours and 37 minutes of sleep. Man I needed it.

Started the increase of Lamictal today. And the decrease of Zoloft. Rest of meds stay the same

[Moose72]

N3 cancelled! Says he’s staying home!

But my friend is in town from Texas so we’re meeting at Starbucks- hopefully soon!

[Moose72]

It’s looking more like I won’t have time to meet my friend either.

Edit: he’s meeting me at sb!

[Blue_Bird]

My manager from my retail clothing job I worked at for 3 months is now the manager of the pharmacy I pick my psych meds up from lol

[Moose72]

Chandler and his girlfriend and I got together for 20 minutes at Starbucks. Talked mostly about the kids and what they're all doing now. They were all under 10 when he and I first met. We took the kids to the play area at the mall. That was 20 years ago! We hadn’t seen each other in 10 years!

Caleb should be here soon! He said 1-1:30! He just called. Almost here.
I'm hungry!

[Blueberrybook]

@Nammu - It's good to hear you're spending time with others and socializing a bit. Is it possible for you to buy some light dumbells and do some arm exercises as well? I know they sell dumbbells as light as 0.5 lb., maybe it would help with weight loss or at least with building upper body strength. Do you feel like the depression you've had is lifting? @Blue_Bird - I'm so glad you slept well last night and @Scooter9 glad you got more sleep than usual; I could never survive on how little sleep you get. @June08 I hope you start feeling better with your volunteer meeting. Phone calls with my mom can be rough too as she will sometimes do the passive aggressive bit (sigh).

I slept well least night, nearly 9 hr, so I woke up feeling quite good. Sounds like it was the night for sleep for several of us!

I took a power walk, barely finished, got chased in by the rain and had to jog a good 1/2 mile home and still got soaked. After my shower and breakfast, I read with the SAD lamp then spent a good deal of time with H Folded clothes and painted a quick cherry tomato and drew a fast drawing of a harpy eagle as I'm pretty hungry and ready for lunch. I am considering trying gouache painting next; I know you have mentioned doing it before @Nammu - any tips for me?

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

My therapist suggested an app called "Bumble for Friends" it's like the Bumble Dating app, but it's for finding friends in the area. So far, I matched with one lady in the area, so hopefully she messages me back. I am hopeful to make a new friend.

"The Materialists" was a bit too serious for me. I was hoping for a light romantic comedy, but no deal. I didn't like what they did to Pedro Pascal's character either - I have a total crush on him and hated how things ended up for him in the movie.

I got an email from my guy not mentioning anything about my hysterics last night. I hope he calls me today and we can put this behind us. Still really scared about it though. Work is all set up for next week, so I am taking a day for myself.

Just ordered some Bojangles because it's way too hot to go back out, I think it will be a nice treat- it's hot muggy and unpleasant outside - it's going to be a long summer.

We don’t have Bojangles up here I think but I heard their food is good, hope you enjoyed it! Oh I meant to mention, I got a ticket to go see the new Superman in theater on July 10th! I always will love the one with Henry Cavill in it the most though. Have a huge crush on him lol

Sorry you didn’t enjoy the movie. It sucks to pay for something then end up not enjoying it

I heard good things about the bumble app for friends. One of my friends uses it and has found a friend or two through it.

[Blue_Bird]

Your art is getting so good @Blueberrybook ! Glad you got good sleep as well!

[Nammu]

Had a productive morning with my friends. Turned out very well. Over 200 showed up, close to 300.

Blueberry yes my depression has lifted but I’m still having trouble focusing on reading. Some dumbbells would be an excellent start. I had 2lb and 5 lbs but got rid of them when I moved here. Should have keep them. But I’m sure Walmart will have some.

Gouache is supposed to be easier that watercolor. You’re killing it with watercolor so I think gouache will be a breeze for you. I only had the one week class, and I found it much better that watercolor that I always struggle with. Love your tomato, you got the color just right.

[Scooter9]

Yeah, @Blueberrybook my sleep was pretty bad! It went down to 4.5 hours and stayed there for a few weeks.

Maybe 5-6 years ago, this would also happen (4.5 hours of sleep lasting months) and I was working at the time with a 90 minute commute by car through really busy highways. No idea how I managed back then!

I have a new problem now. I'm having a lot of trouble typing on my phone and computer keyboard, and my handwriting has become really, really bad. My pdoc says it is a symptom of something, I didn't pay attention. Just another thing. It has been going on for a couple of months.

And I have good news! It looks like I didn't have a silent heart attack! That's a relief!

[LadyShadow]

It was an excellent day today! I drove into Cary, and there were protestors everywhere! The coffee shop where I was meeting my Sci-Fi group had NO parking! I had to walk THROUGH all the protestors in 90-degree heat, to park in a shopping center. I was SO close to going home but I decided to brave though it. Thank God I did! It was such a fun Coffee Talk! A good number of people showed up and I got the number of the girl I went to the Space Museum with! We spent about three hours talking about summer movies, sci-fi and other things, and I think I will try to go to a screening of Brendan Fraser's The Mummy in August. It was a really good time.

After than I met with my sponsor at a nearby Barnes and Nobles - it was really good walking around there, I really wanted to buy a new book but we had our meeting instead. It is so good to meet with my sponsor, she is so knowledgeable and gave me some great advice to handle my depression. She is really pushing me to get a gym buddy; I am definitely going to work on that.

I drove an hour home and enjoyed looking at the storm clouds and blasting my music. I had such a good time today. I wish I had more days like this. I wish the cities with the cool stuff weren't so far away from where I live.

So glad everybody has been having good sleep. I haven't been sleeping that great because I've had to get up early the past few days. @Blue_Bird - my sponsor told me about a site called "Letterboxd" where you can go read funny online movie reviews and make your own and share with people. With all the movies we go see, I think it may be fun for you to check out too! I am going to see Superman movie too! I am really excited to see the summer movies, especially Jurassic Park.

[Victoria'smom]

Just so frustrated and alone right now. My husband went to pick up dinner and EBT said invalid transaction. Now we have to use the last of our cash to buy dinner. I'm so sad about it. Hopefully we can recover fast. I'm worried our benefits got stolen for the month.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

Just so frustrated and alone right now. My husband went to pick up dinner and EBT said invalid transaction. Now we have to use the last of our cash to buy dinner. I'm so sad about it. Hopefully we can recover fast. I'm worried our benefits got stolen for the month.

Do you have that number to call? I think when I call to check my balance there’s an option to see why an attempted transaction was declined (I might be thinking of my other card, but EBT might have it too)

With EBT sometimes the card just declines at this one place I try to go (that supposedly accepts EBT) because the card reader sucks at self-checkout (but the actual cashier is always a long slow line too and I don’t buy a full amount of groceries there so usually use other payment there).

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

It was an excellent day today! I drove into Cary, and there were protestors everywhere! The coffee shop where I was meeting my Sci-Fi group had NO parking! I had to walk THROUGH all the protestors in 90-degree heat, to park in a shopping center. I was SO close to going home but I decided to brave though it. Thank God I did! It was such a fun Coffee Talk! A good number of people showed up and I got the number of the girl I went to the Space Museum with! We spent about three hours talking about summer movies, sci-fi and other things, and I think I will try to go to a screening of Brendan Fraser's The Mummy in August. It was a really good time.

After than I met with my sponsor at a nearby Barnes and Nobles - it was really good walking around there, I really wanted to buy a new book but we had our meeting instead. It is so good to meet with my sponsor, she is so knowledgeable and gave me some great advice to handle my depression. She is really pushing me to get a gym buddy; I am definitely going to work on that.

I drove an hour home and enjoyed looking at the storm clouds and blasting my music. I had such a good time today. I wish I had more days like this. I wish the cities with the cool stuff weren't so far away from where I live.

So glad everybody has been having good sleep. I haven't been sleeping that great because I've had to get up early the past few days. @Blue_Bird - my sponsor told me about a site called "Letterboxd" where you can go read funny online movie reviews and make your own and share with people. With all the movies we go see, I think it may be fun for you to check out too! I am going to see Superman movie too! I am really excited to see the summer movies, especially Jurassic Park.

I actually have an account there! I joined many years ago, haven’t been on it in a long time. I’ll have to see if I can find my login info

Glad you had such a good day!

[Victoria'smom]

@MuddyBoots my husband checked we still have EBT, i don't know what happened. They said it happens sometimes. So what ever.

[June08]

I haven't been feeling the greatest for part of today (physical health wise). I haven't had an IV in three weeks, when I was getting them every other week, so it could be my POTs acting up. But, I also just might not be feeling well.

Today has been pretty uneventful. Watching tv, playing UNO on my phone, and going for a drive have been the main things I've done. My mood has been fine.

[Moose72]

I’m nervous that I’ll remember my biopsy a week from Tuesday.

[LadyShadow]

It's a lot of fun, you have to find your password @Blue_Bird - I just activated my Letterboxd now and left a review for Materialists, it's so cool! I am grateful for the good day today.

@Victoria'smom- I hope you get the EBT worked out soon - @June08 - I hope you feel better soon.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I am watching "Son of Dracula" on Svengoolie with my best friend and am having a good time. My guy also called me earlier and we watched "Lost in Space" - he said talking to me means a lot to him, it really means a lot to me too. I thought a lot about what my sponsor said - I think I have to start looking at life with all the freedom that I have, and all the blessings I have. I hate having the lows so much, I wish they would just go away.

[Mountaindewed]

I'm not sure what I did today. I think I just battled with weight loss thoughts all day. I drank a bunch of green tea and water.

I was off the grid until a special report came on NBC. But I'm trying to limit my news.

But yeah I need to do something with my life. I watched The Wall lol.

[Victoria'smom]

I only cried a little today. My anxiety is sky high today. I don't know I feel unstable but nothing is "wrong".

Possible trigger:

SH urges are high

I think I'm just going to bed. Good night.

[Blue_Bird]

@LadyShadow I downloaded the Letterboxd app and created a new account on it! Super excited to start using it again. I love tracking movies I’ve watched and ones I want to watch

[MuddyBoots]

I saw this on the sidewalk today and would like to share it with you guys!

[Crazy Hitch]

That’s so cool @MuddyBoots

As for me I went to ikea today and bought a new clothing rack stand. Too bad I don’t feel like putting the bloody thing together. I’m snuggled under 2 blankets it’s so cold with a jumper and a gown on. Still can’t get warm.