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#26
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your life is full of BPD tendencies...except maybe what am I going to where today...omg well its going to be pink pink and omg pink again....not really but you catch the drift. I just inhaled a noodle so now I feel all choke-e and my eyes running and my ears are dancing...
so woke up way to early at 4am now its 10:40am and I already have gotten my meds. Consumed them and some mac n cheese. now what....
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Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
![]() Anonymous48778
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#27
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I often feel ignored or like I'm annoying people or that people don't like me on here.
![]() I know it's probably just the lack of self-confidence talking, I wish I'd stop thinking this way. I'm having a bad day now... I was late for class because I fell asleep when I decided to lay down (instead of being productive and getting started on laundry like I said I was going to) we had a peer review thing in my English class, we got into our groups and I just got up and left because I couldn't print out my paper for some reason and my paper was bad anyways (it was supposed to be 5 pages but I only had 3, no works cited page, I didn't really apply myself) and I thought I was too stupid to find errors in other peoples papers and didn't want to deal with anyone so I just got up and left. Now I'm freaking out about how stupid I am and how I hate other people and feel disconnected from the world and am envious of anyone who can socialize easily, do well at everything, and can enjoy life. I hate everything right now. |
![]() Fuzzybear
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#28
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I didn't get to sleep until after 1am because my chest hurt. Then I woke up twice. This is my second night in a row with approximately 6 hours of sleep. I haven't eaten normally the last couple days either.
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![]() If we believe we can't lose Even mountains will move It's my faith, it's my life This is our battle cry! -Skillet |
#29
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***TRIGGER***
**** me. there's no reasoning with people. ever. my opinion is just as worthless to everyone else as it was to my parents, because i don't know ****, i'm stupid, i'm a ****ing waste of space. and **** me for EVER getting involved with anything. whatever. |
![]() Ultra Darkness
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#30
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Just posted my latest morbid masterpiece on the Creative Corner.
Chaos, I'm twisted.
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![]() If we believe we can't lose Even mountains will move It's my faith, it's my life This is our battle cry! -Skillet |
#31
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Suppose I had better say ~Trigger~
Just checking in again. I checked in this morning too and my feelings haven't changed. It's frightening feeling this way…urges for harm and suicidal thoughts still remain and I am terrified of going into the Psych Unit…again. Life or death? Life or death? Sick of it. Can't even make a decision and am so dependent. Also, see a number of posters feel they don't belong here…I share that feeling…to be honest I would be afraid to start a thread here at the moment. I do try to give replies here and in other forums if I am able. Or start threads in other forums where I feel more confident. I don't know if I belong or where I belong. It's so hard and frustrating trying to find where I fit in or if I do fit in…Aghhhhh.
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"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." ~ Nietzsche Last edited by beautifulfreak; Apr 12, 2013 at 04:06 PM. Reason: editing! |
![]() Fuzzybear
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#32
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I'm working the next seven days straight so will be lurking here a lot. Nothing against PC but I need to come up with other things to do as well. I'm bored, restless, and can't wait to get off just so I can release the chains at my desk, but I guess I'm alright.
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#33
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I'm alright. Today's better than yesterday. Just trying to keep myself busy.
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#34
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I got a chapmans calendar in the mail and its all about ice cream so I took out a so delicious bar and went to town chowing down...
I cannot figure out for the life of me why I do things impulsively I was going to my parents I pack my bags and everything but I never made it out the door....I slept instead having terrible bizarre dreams.
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Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
#35
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I was invited out by some work friends and so I decided to go out for just a couple of hours because I have to work tomorrow. I'm sitting here waiting for them to text me to tell me where and when to meet them, anxious that it will be too late when they finally do text for me to actually go out, even more anxious that no one will actually ever text me. Not that I have any reason to feel that way. Why would they have invited me in the first place if they just wanted to stand me up? But this is how it is with me, and why I would rather just forego (sp?) the whole social thing--too much anxiety over little things.
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#36
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Quote:
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"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” - Carl Rogers ___________________________________________ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin |
![]() Fuzzybear
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#37
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"Please don't read this if you don't want to hear about problems; I am making an effort to be positive along with the negative; thanks)
My tooth is still iffy. I can't get a dentist appt until next Wed. It doesnt quite hurt, but almost. Darn peanuts. I went to get my hair cut and tinted and the hairdresser was not unkind, but I picked up an edge in her and that always freaks me out. I got along with her, but felt intimidated by her. I was trying to make small talk and gave up after a while; seemed like everything I said irritated her. UGH. But my hair is done. ![]() I really hope my tooth isn't broken. I dont' want another gd exo! (pulling) Carol
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Anonymous327401, Fuzzybear
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#38
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Quote:
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#39
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Ps the confused face is about me
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![]() Anonymous327401
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#40
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I'm having an okay day.. cleaned my room and straightened up my some of the clothes in my drawers. Now I'm bored (as usual) I wish I had something to do.
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#41
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I am having a serious migraine from hell I think it is or maybe its just a bad headache I am not sure everything hurts all over light is making everything to bright in my eyes my forehead is pounding and all I wanna do is lay in bed and that's what I have been doing...my throat hurts too not sure why but it aches I took some Motrin about 4 hours ago...everything is just so blah I feel so blah....
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Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
#42
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Worked a 12 hour shift today. The first half was mind-numbingly boring, the second half went by alright. I decided to buy a word search book to bring to work to make the time go by a little faster when we have slow times. Now I'm just relaxing before bed. I have another 12 hour shift tomorrow...not looking forward to it at all, but I have Monday off.
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#43
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It's almost 6am and I'm still awake.. I stayed up watching Fringe. I don't feel like sleeping at the moment but should probably try and get some sleep. I'm making tea and taking some melatonin.
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#44
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Up and just started working. Yay! Not doing too bad so far, and that's all that matters.
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#45
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Still same guys…still sinking, still shattered and scattered. Sliding down a slippery slope with nothing to grab onto.
Hugs to all.
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"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." ~ Nietzsche |
![]() poptart316
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#46
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I found out my migraine is more like a sinus head cold so I went to the pharmacy and picked up some medicine...
now I am trying to eat these spicy samosas
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Love, Light and Happiness!!! |
#47
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My dress and accessories are being shipped today.. i showed them to my mom and she said they weren't appropriate for the wedding *rolls eyes* i guess i'll wear them some other time. so she bought me some other dresses. (i'm nearly 22 and she's still dressing me >.<) but at least they're cute. I'm pretty bored now, and anxious for all the things i've ordered to arrive. i spend way too much money. i really gotta get myself under control. i have a "purchase plan" so i don't spend over $200 a week (that's my budget from my bf) but i keep wanting more more more........ i need to stop this compulsive shopping. i always end up asking him for extra money, and since he's a softie he gives it to me..... Gotta get this compulsive shopping under control. but i feel like its stuff that i NEED! like the dress for the wedding i NEED. the jump rings i NEED to make my jewelry.the tablet i don't need but that was worked into my budget for this month already... ugh i just..... shopping and buying stuff calms me down...... i'm using it as a coping skill and its kinda unhealthy i guess
Sorry for ranting............ |
#48
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I'm worthless. Can I just disappear somewhere. That'd be great.
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![]() hawthoerne
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#49
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Quote:
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![]() hawthoerne
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#50
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Now that i had to quit school its all i have to look forward to!
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![]() twowesties1986
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Closed Thread |
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