[greentires4me]

Went to my last session of DBT...now I am on waiting list for once a week check in group...way too much of a commute for me at least 3 1/2hours spent on public transit....for a 2 hour group

Freedom...freedom...freedom...

The anxiety just won't quit. I wake up with it hitting me with the force of a freight train. I threw up in the shower this morning because it was so bad. Then I threw up while doing my hair. I threw away half my lunch at work because I simply had no appetite. All because of anxiety. My coworkers are commenting on how quiet I am lately. My norm is to be chatty and boisterous. All I can think about is how anxious I am and how I'm going to get through the day, so I don't talk because it's too much effort.

This is going to be the end of me if it doesn't stop soon.

Oh, that, and I hit a rabbit on the way home from work tonight which made me feel like s---. Nothing I could have done; I was getting on the highway and it ran right in front of me.

[greentires4me]

today I am feel rather free of my obligations...I had a meeting with the landlord on extending my lease. i went back to bed after that woke up at like 12:30pm had a shower now its almost 2...I just made lunch its hot dogs i am getting rather low on food that's quick and easy to make
now all I have to do is walk to the pharmacy to get my meds...

[kala83]

abandonment issues and anxiety is going straight through the roof. I am trying to mend a messy situation with a friend and ugh...I am beyond exhausted of any of all of this stuff.

[LostAngel0616]

Today was actually okay. I did get myself to go spin with my old team today, which was awesome. Got a chance to chat with my old coach, too. Went to therapy and DBT. I can't wait until that's no longer the most I do in a week. Going to get my school books tomorrow and classes start on Monday. Hopefully some structure will pull me out of this slump.

Well the day started ok. Got to work though and realized I left my expensive smart phone on the bus! :/ Called them though and they are looking for it. Needless to say I feel totally lost without it D:

[kala83]

a lil better then yesterday i feel like I am being a horrible friend I have issues I never realized with complusive lying and I need to work on fixing that issue.

that and maintaining privacy for myself and for others.

[greentires4me]

I made a poem last night first one in ages...

I'll make a thread and share it I suppose....

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Well the day started ok. Got to work though and realized I left my expensive smart phone on the bus! :/ Called them though and they are looking for it. Needless to say I feel totally lost without it D:

Oh no! Did they find it?

Still dealing with anxiety. Woke up yesterday and had what I can only describe as a panic attack. Then I laid quietly in bed with my eyes closed until it was time to go to my therapy appointment--that was the only thing that calmed me down. I can't do that everyday since I work most days. I was off work today and laid quietly in bed today as well. Didn't sleep just...laid there trying not to feel anxious. My T is trying to get me to walk myself through reminding myself that I'm in control, that I'm going to work, completing my job, taking care of certain things, etc, etc, to try to train my brain to remember that I am in control but the anxiety isn't letting up.

I need an end to this.

[greentires4me]

I am feeling hesitant to start off my new world with feet first I am scared at tomorrow so many people going to be here I cannot stand that many people in one place at a time...

[greentires4me]

today I am feeling good...but still apprehensive about it all

[Bill3]

^^ Congratulations on finishing DBT group!

Was drunk yesterday and today I feel bored and depressed.

[BorderlineMess]

This past week has been TOUGH! All of my family in the area, and a few that traveled from out of town, are renting beach houses at a nearby beach for a week of family fun. I couldn't go for multiple reasons: I'm paranoid, suicidal, have scars all over one leg so no bathing suit without questions; having bad back and neck pain from walking for a few minutes. So I didn't go, but damn did I feel ****ing jealous. But I didn't want to go. And I didn't want to go because I wasn't supposed to go while I was working for my dad. I was supposed to "man" the office. I feel like it's part of my punishment to not go on vacation with my family. And I feel that they don't really want me there anyways. They offer, but it's this half assed passing comment. Not like, please, please please please I want you here! None of that.

I'm just having a difficult time. I skipped my therapist because I just didn't care. I don't care about much now. I'm traveling in dangerous territory.

[poptart316]

I'm currently very bored. I miss my boyfriend (he's grown onto me) I miss him but I feel like he wants space, he's been a bit distant- he hasn't been texting me and has been taking longer to respond to the texts I send, although he's not distant when we're together.. I feel like he probably just needs some time to himself but wont say it so I told myself I wouldn't text or try to hang out with him today but I'd really like to hang out with him. I've been feeling a bit clingy, like I want to hang out with him all the time and if I'm not with him I get depressed. : /

The anxiety was a little bit better today. Not totally gone, but I woke up feeling more in control than I usually do. I still felt like I was going to be sick the whole time I was getting ready for work, but I wasn't feeling like I was on the verge of panic. I still had no appetite for most of the day but I was able to get breakfast down okay. The biggest issue I have is that the anxiety wipes me out and, by mid-morning, I am having trouble keeping my eyes open at work. I'm trying to stay away from caffeine because of the anxiety but I guess I'm going to have to drink it anyway just so I am not falling asleep on the job. Argh...vicious cycle.

[BorderlineMess]

I'm a bottle of mixed emotions today. Happy one minute, crying the next. Everything seems to be impacting me right now. Triggering me for different reasons. Movies, tv shows, music, most of it has something that triggers me. It's like my cloak of invisibility has worn out or something. Was I just ignoring these feelings before??

This is the first day I've had in a long time where anxiety hasn't completely ruled me. I didn't feel that knot in my stomach at all and did my work without feeling tense. I ate breakfast comfortably, without feeling like I was choking it down. At lunch time I was hungry for food--actually VERY hungry--enough to go to Jimmy Johns and get a whole sub (that's a big deal because usually I just choke down a Lean Cuisine or something and throw away half of it). I ate everything I brought to work for my 12 hour shift and I'm back home from work and still ravenous. Compared to my usual day of being so anxious I'm getting sick and unable to eat, I'd say that's a big difference. I'm feeling pretty good today. Except now I'm hungry and don't have anything to eat!

[Luvmydog]

Tough day today. Wanted to visit my father's gravesite, but still haven't made it back there since his funeral last year. Explosive anger this morning, and severe anxiety the rest of the day. I feel like I'm slipping.

[greentires4me]

Today I got blister and it popped...I cut the lawn...with the ride on lawn mower...

...had a mini party last night with rob...

I feel exhausted and a head rush...I didn't think of any suicidal thoughts today which is great news...but I kept wanting to jump off bridges or buildings.

[greentires4me]

today I went to NSA I came home to my parents house and had a huge long nap...Rob is still outside weedeating...to his hearts content

I am stuck inside in my good clothes not wanting to get dirty...yes I am like a little pre-madonna.my allergies would go haywire and I would be hacking up a storm.

I feel a little tired exhausted actually and I also feel a little embarrassed for unknown reasons

[greentires4me]

I feel like I am replying to myself...

Today starts off something like this wake up at 6am wtf for....really...then I turn back over and go back to sleep then I wake up again at 11am...something really wants me to get up and belong in society but I don't wanna but I am still gosh darn it tired...

I feel rather intense emotions at the moment like paranoia, anger, distress, despair, loneliness, to be wanted by someone...

[poptart316]

I went out drinking last night (it was my birthday) I had an okay time, now I'm depressed and bored.

Suicidal thoughts again. I feel like no one wants me around and I don't even want myself around. I'm depressed all the time and that's no fun for anyone to deal with.