[Luvmydog]

My emotions are exploding. I feel like the song "Breaking S---" by Limp Bizkit.

[shortandcute]

I'm having an anxiety attck. It looks like we're staring to have plumbing problems again and i dont have the money to fix.

[greentires4me]

Ah I am just so tired sleeping in the tent took away my restful sleep I was hopeing to get so I took a tramcet for the pain

I feel real tired and in pain ....seeing what this day brings today

I feel like I'm in over my head with life. I'm way in debt with student loans (which are in forbearance right now but soon won't be). My job doesn't pay enough for me to build up much of a savings and there is always something I need money for. Just found out I need a complete exhaust system on my car (I need a new car, period, but can't afford the payments) which is going to cost $700. That was everything I had saved. I just feel so overwhelmed and anxious. I just want to know that I'm going to be okay, that the bottom isn't going to suddenly fall out on me and make me end up homeless. I've found myself fantasizing about suicide and even formulating a plan a little bit but I'm too afraid that I would fail, and then I would just end up in the hospital and without a job which would make things worse. I'm so scared. I want a break from being so scared.

[UnderTheRose]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

im getting fat and i wish i was dead

Oh.. those are my words exactly right now. In fact i even went online and found an image related to STOP EATING to put on my fridge so i won't eat anymore..

bad day. raging and yelling. stressed because inlaws are coming over, cant get my **** together to clean properly. EVERYTHING IS INADEQUATE TODAY!!! with ME being the TOP of that list. GRRRRRR

[greentires4me]

woke up to early morning blues then took some ativan and went back to sleep to again waking up at 11:30 then got up 1:30...its really hot outside...

I feel despair and depressed and hot

[greentires4me]

today I woke up and it was a heat oven outside I got a call from an employer that wants to hire me woot woot....

sitting in my apartment its like a heat wave has gone through...

I feel hopeful, sad, fire of pain and embarrassed.

Those serious suicide contemplations have returned.

[greentires4me]

I feel like a hermit...I only come here to check on this thread...usually just me and one other who types in here granted I don't see many people I know on here, making threads

I feel quite sad and very emotional when my mental health worker says I am your mental health therapist ...how is that and you don't make me feel better...

[Flooded]

It's been almost five weeks since my last pdoc appt. There's been 3 birthdays, 2 passing anniversaries and a few meltdowns in that time. I'm really starting to unravel now so I may not post here again. I get very easily triggered by some people "out there" and my impulse control becomes even more non-exsistent than usual

Might go back into my cave..

[x_BabyG_x]

I feel like today is a day for opportunity but instead i just know im just going to be lounging around bored and as grumpy as ever, like i have been doing all week. My lack of motivation is killing me off, i cant even be bothered to wash my hair!

[jadedbutterfly]

It's 8:30 ish in the morning .... and I already want this day to be over. Have to go to this stupid lunch thing.... not wanting to be with these particular parts of the family. I am going to order like the most expensive lunch and dessert just out of spite.

[rise__above]

Scared to go out with my friend today. I don't want to be around them, but I have to. Hard to make myself get out of bed.

[greentires4me]

I had a dream that my dad had died it was all very panic stricken so I called the house and found him alive but I cannot stop crying over it. He is my life and don't want to see him go like I saw him in my dream.

I am going to go have a shower I think its safe enough to do so talk to maybe after

Dealt with some traumatic stuff in T today, My T is brilliant though I really trust her now 100%

[UnderTheRose]

Changed it up today, got up and barely sat at the comp, got breakfast, and then got the kids ready. Walked to the park, played for awhile then over to the water park for awhile, and just got home. Long walk and it was hot.. but sure helped me feel like NOT a total fail today. YAY

[greentires4me]

I got up at 2pm did washing my towels and such then went to pick up my meds in the heat went to starbucks picked up a grande hibiscus refresher and went to make a hair appointment. Made one for August 14th the day after my birthday. Came home decided on cannoli for dinner popped it into the microwave. Ate it was deliciously hot burnt regions of my tongue. Cashed in survey points for a $10 Amazon.ca gift card. then popped on here to see what all the commotion is all about

This guy keeps sending me these messages like 'I wish you were here' and it's turning me off which sucks because I did like him. Of course I'm not interested in someone who seems interested in me.

[greentires4me]

so today I woke up earlier then I did before yesterday at 11:30am made myself some food got dressed and headed out the door to pick up my pills . Then got on the bus to come to my parents house walked to the house I was exhausted there is such a long walk.

Went and saw a movie today Lone Ranger...it was funny I laughed my butt off.

so far I feel tired and hot I think I got sunburn on my face.

[Flooded]

So much back pain today. Yesterday I vacuumed the stairs then mopped them. Didn't expect that would leave me unable to stand up..

Can't stop worrying. I feel like I'm drowning. I work two jobs--both of which I don't particularly like (one that I hate)--and I cannot get ahead money-wise. I'm so scared something is going to happen to me, my car, or (stupidly enough) my cats. I saw my pdoc today who wanted to put me on more meds for the anxiety--like another antidepressant; she won't put me on a benzo--but I refused. Just don't want more meds. She also told me she's transitioning to only seeing kids so I'm getting a new pdoc soon. Great. I don't think I can do therapy any longer. I don't feel that it's helping and it's something that, if it's not helping, I just can't afford.

I never thought I'd be in this place in my life. Too poor to be able to save money, pay for dentistry, pay for certain necessities, and afford to do anything, but too rich to be able to get any kind of public assistance.

Kids are leaving Wednesday for MD to visit with their mom for a few weeks - basically the summer with her. :/ idk what I'll do with myself during that time. The boys are my life.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

My dog scratched my arm this weekend and that is all I can see out of the corner of my eye. Kinda triggering...

[greentires4me]

The weekend went well no overdosing no self harm nothing....I cut the lawn...took down the tent from last weekend which I squeezed into its bag...

I got a lift into town then walked home from the pharmacy in the heat. I am starting to get used to this heat...

Just put my hair up and walk out into it...now only can I find my sunscreen...I found it it was in my drawer all along.

Ah I feel tired, and beat....and in pain....

[BorderlineMess]

I hurt a lot. So overwhelmed with emotion that it's exhausting me. I'm crying a lot. I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. My therapist didn't return my call today. Family is too busy for anything to do with me. What is so wrong with me?