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#601
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Was actually fairly productive today. About time.
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Maranara |
![]() Fuzzybear, shezbut, technigal
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![]() Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, hawaii04, technigal
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#602
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I feel horrible, someone upset me by saying all the wrong things unintentionally and now I feel like the worst person. My best friend is sleeping in the bed next to me and I wish she was gone. I need to be alone to cry, this is going to be a long night.
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"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
![]() Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, Fuzzybear, hawaii04, shezbut
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#603
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I'm struggling today. Nothing's okay, I'm just a mess all around.
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![]() Anonymous37965, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, Fuzzybear, shezbut
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#604
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I did end up sending a few texts to my friend letting him know how I felt about him and as of yet I haven't heard anything from him so it seems as though he is just another lost friend. I don't know how I always end up in this position when all I do is wear my heart on my sleeve. I was really careful with him, I never called him any names or threatened to leave. Although I did trip a few times when I thought he wasn't talking to me anymore even though I knew it wasn't true. Well, I don't know if I'll hear from him again but I do know that I am tired of being taken for granted by people that I really care for.
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![]() Anonymous37965, Atypical_Disaster, Bill3, Fuzzybear, technigal
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![]() Bubbles&Buttercup
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#605
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Well i was crying because the lady lost on the price is right then i ended up running into something and ripping my mirror off
Sent from my LG-LS970 using Tapatalk |
![]() Anonymous37965, Bill3, Fuzzybear, shezbut
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#606
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Falling apart again,can't do anything right!
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![]() Anonymous37965, Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, shezbut, technigal
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#607
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I can't do anything right either.
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![]() BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, technigal
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#608
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very productive day~
![]() ![]() first week of class almost over~ ![]() ![]() glad to finally be back in school learning and moving towards getting my associates. dreading and worried how much harder its going to get and how im going to handle. ![]() ![]() All I can do is try. Night all. ![]() ![]() |
![]() shezbut
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![]() Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3
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#609
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I am still confused, lonely, and miserable. Thankfully, I do go in to see my pDoc tomorrow. Maybe he'll have some magic pill for me!
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"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
![]() Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3
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#610
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i have been struggling the last couple of days. I had been doing ok for a while but just when you think its safe my bpd comes back like a slap in the face.
Emotions have been intense and painful. |
![]() Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, shezbut
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#611
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There is a remix to the tune I'm singing today. I did send more texts to my friend. I don't text him nonstop but whenever I think of certain things I'll text it to him. Now I'm realizing I've been pretty irrational. I just assumed that him not answering my texts meant he wasn't talking to me, I didn't reach out to him on any other medium before I just jumped to that conclusion. In hindsight I should have done so and I should know this by now as many times as I've been here lol. Last night I removed him from all social networks and now I'm actually regretting it. I'm thinking of trying to call him now and seeing if he would be willing to talk to me. I really don't want to lose him so I guess all I can do is try, even if I am the only one and it still hurts. I don't know if I will call him today I might wait a few days, I'm not sure.
I think it's scaring me a lot because I feel like he is really worth it but I don't think he feels the same way about me. Then if I do actually get him back in my life I'll just be setting myself up to get hurt again. I don't know I think what I really want is some acknowledgment of the hurt he's caused me, I've never gotten that from anyone so I think that's what I really want more than anything. I just extended an invitation to him to look up info on BPD so he could possibly understand me a little better and some of the things that I do even if he isn't talking to me. I don't know if he will or not. Last edited by BarelyMakingIt; Jan 31, 2014 at 05:01 PM. |
![]() Anonymous100114, Atypical_Disaster, Bill3, Contrabanned, Fuzzybear, lynn808, shezbut, technigal
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#612
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![]() Anonymous100114, Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, shezbut, technigal
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#613
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Rough day. Still feeling guilty about last night and then I got a call from my uncle. My aunt had another brain aneurysm and is in the hospital. My aunt is the only living relative of my mom's siblings - my mom and one uncle died within a year and my other uncle died before I was born. If my aunt passes it will be 3 family deaths in less then 18 months
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() Anonymous200125, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, Contrabanned, Emrys, lynn808, shezbut
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#614
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() After months of suicidal depression...................................today's seen a very very slight lift, but don't tell anyone! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
![]() Emrys
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![]() Bill3, shezbut, technigal
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#615
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Feeling extra needy today
![]() ![]() Havent felt loved in quite some time. ![]() ![]() Hug me Kiss me Tell me you love me! ![]() ![]() thats all folks. (If there is someone you love and you have the opportunity to tell them please do ![]() |
![]() BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, lynn808, shezbut, technigal, waggiedog
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#616
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I would hate to date me. How many times can I break up with a guy or tell him I'm never seeing him again and then see him? Endlessly.......apparently. I'm embarrassed by my behaviour.
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![]() Anonymous37965, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, Contrabanned, lynn808, shezbut, technigal, waggiedog
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#617
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh yes sir! I def def agree with what has already been said here - - I certainly wouldn't want to date me, not sure I'd even wanna ''friend'' me to be honest. It's somewhat sad isn't it? XXXXXXXXXXXX HUGZZ and LOVES as ever. ![]() |
![]() BarelyMakingIt
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#618
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the last few days have been kind of hard as usual I am still dealing with the fact that i hve fairly bad abandonment issues. But things are a lot better right now.....I am working on fidning effective distractions around the house to keep my mind occupied.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA ![]() |
![]() BarelyMakingIt
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![]() Bill3
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#619
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I really, really, really want my friend back. I feel so pitiful, I don't know what to do.
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![]() Bill3, shezbut
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#620
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I don't know why I couldn't edit this but I sent him a couple messages on Facebook so I know he's seen them. I did let him know that they would be the last, I can't anymore unanswered messages. It was some things I forgot to say in the last message so I'm thinking of adding them lol ahh I hate this. I just wish I knew why he isn't talking to me and I'm hoping he comes around. I have a feeling that he will, I just have to try to be patient.
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![]() Bill3
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#621
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Really bad day today
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() allme, Atypical_Disaster, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, lynn808
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#622
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just be careful with the meds. i was taking lorazepam and other meds from same group, my dose kept going up, i still had anxiety and then i found out that lorazepam causes anxiety creating a vicious cycle. anyways, after months of feeling awful, only taking meds when i felt so sick that i needed a break...years actually, i am mostly anxiety free. i can even drink caffeine now. cardio exercise helps a tremendously.
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![]() BarelyMakingIt, lynn808
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#623
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Verity ![]() ![]() |
![]() allme, BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, lynn808, shezbut, technigal
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#624
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__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
![]() BarelyMakingIt, lynn808, Verity81
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#625
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I don't know what I feel and I hate it so much. I can feel that it's going to get real bad again soon and all I can do is wait for it to happen! Appointment with new psychologist in 4 days, I don't know how I feel about that either. Supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow but if I don't sleep soon I'll end up sleeping all day.
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"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
![]() BarelyMakingIt, Bill3, lynn808, shezbut
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![]() lynn808
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Closed Thread |
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