[Painting w/t Soul]

Really struggling ...feels like it's even taking my voice along

[hawaii04]

Originally Posted by beloiseau

Yes, it makes me wonder what I'm missing...

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That missing piece (and peace) inside. The part which creates the wholeness within.

[shezbut]

I am feeling stuck between my physical/emotional desires and knowing that staying with him probably doesn't help my self-esteem very much at all.

[Maranara]

Back at work after only two days off...my head is everywhere and the worst of my traits are coming out to say "hi".

[Maranara]

Very, very conflicted. Feeling things that I know I shouldn't feel and that could turn people against me.

[technigal]

Feeling so very sick. No fever but I am cycling between hot and cold. My stomach hurts so bad.

[shezbut]

I feel so crummy I cannot give describe the feelings well enough. Forget it. That's how I feel right now.

[BarelyMakingIt]

I haven't been doing well lately, I feel like giving up.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

I met a guy over the weekend who'd been through hard stuff and he'd come through on top, just an absolutely amazing person. He's everything I could have been. It makes me want to try harder to get back into playing music and being fit and positive but I know I won't be able to. I feel absolutely broken and hopeless.

I'm tired because I haven't been sleeping well. And this isn't helping my mood which is still heading south. I'm trying to stay on top but its pretty hard....not sure how long I can actually handle this for. I feel like I'm nearly at my limit already

[Maranara]

Been very emotional and on the roller coaster the last few days. Starting to close up....

[technigal]

Feeling better which is good, date night with hubby. We are going to a VIP movie (you have to be 18, there is real food and they bring it to you, larger seats and they convert to a love seat) which we get for free, just have to pay for our food. It has been awhile since we had a date so I am looking forward to it.

[hawaii04]

[quote=technigal;3551518]Feeling better which is good, date night with hubby. We are going to a VIP movie (you have to be 18, there is real food and they bring it to you, larger seats and they convert to a love seat) which we get for free, just have to pay for our food. It has been awhile since we had a date so I am looking forward to it.[/quote

WONDERFUL!!!!

having a hard time dealing.
He Screamed in my face again.

Triggered me badly...again..
I dont know what to do.

trying to get through this day without crying my eyes out.

Hope everyone has a good and safe day

[dumburn]

Ugh, got a letter this morning from someone who has been assigned to be my "personality disorder complex case manager" so this makes 4 people to be reguarly involved in my care.
Feel like everything is spinning out of control, all this nonsese because I make the silly mistake of thinking Gp's suggestion of coming off meds was a good idea.
Really must stop doing everything im told to

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[BlueEyedBeauty]

mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I want to know that there's an end to this mental illness... I don't know how much longer I can keep up the facade.. God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.... Help me forgive myself, help me become less co-dependent, help me practice patience, help me love myself.

In such a bad place. I don't know if I can keep going on. I just want it to end

[Maranara]

Thank to a kind friend, I am finally out of my downward spiral and am thinking straight with no harmful thoughts. Thank you.

Called in sick today...I just can't face work..or the world

[youwillrise]

...that moment when friends you trrriiiied hard to not let know who you really are, start figuring it out. been a good run. but i think the run is nearly over. at least with a few of them. i guess i can only hide myself for so long and even the internet cant disguise my true personality. (these are friends who are mostly online - met through a mutual like for a band and became really close.) ive started to get really b...hy with some of them. arguing. snapping at them. having thoughts about them that ive had for many other people ive hated, but never once thought id have for them. theres one who tries to be a neutral peacmaker and thats nice to have...but im sure at some point, she will hate me, too. hahahahahahahaha.

[BarelyMakingIt]

I had planned so much to do today and haven't really done most of it. What little i was able to do has been a struggle. The kids were home from school for the third day in a row due to the extreme cold weather we have been having and they have made the hugest mess and I don't even really care. I just want so much to hear from my friend that isn't talking to me right now, I just want to know that there is a chance that we can repair our friendship. My feelings for him are the strongest I've ever felt for anyone. It hurts to think that I may never see or hear from him again and I don't even know why. I hate that I always end up here, I don't know why I can't bring myself to hate him or dismiss him like I can anyone else. Why do I feel like the dumbest person in the world for even still caring?

[BarelyMakingIt]

Really feeling like I don't exist right now.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by BarelyMakingIt

I had planned so much to do today and haven't really done most of it. What little i was able to do has been a struggle. The kids were home from school for the third day in a row due to the extreme cold weather we have been having and they have made the hugest mess and I don't even really care. I just want so much to hear from my friend that isn't talking to me right now, I just want to know that there is a chance that we can repair our friendship. My feelings for him are the strongest I've ever felt for anyone. It hurts to think that I may never see or hear from him again and I don't even know why. I hate that I always end up here, I don't know why I can't bring myself to hate him or dismiss him like I can anyone else. Why do I feel like the dumbest person in the world for even still caring?

I would hate having my son home for an extra 3 days. Don't get me wrong, I love my son but he is so inquisitive and talks all the time which is draining for me.

I worry more when people don't care that someone has left their life. Caring is not dumb, it makes you human.

[technigal]

So exhausted. Sleeping 1-2 hours a night plus an hour nap during the day is not good for me. I NEED sleep. I have tried every technique I know and that usually work but nothing. I can barely keep my eyes open when I go to bed and nothing... grrr.

[BarelyMakingIt]

Originally Posted by technigal

I would hate having my son home for an extra 3 days. Don't get me wrong, I love my son but he is so inquisitive and talks all the time which is draining for me.

I worry more when people don't care that someone has left their life. Caring is not dumb, it makes you human.

Thanks, it hasn't been that bad so far until today but hopefully they will go back tomorrow.

I just wish I knew the reason why he wasn't talking to me anymore, I can't think of anything I've done. He really means a lot to me, I'm thinking of just sending him a message letting him know I'm not mad at him at all and letting him know all the things I've been wanting to tell him. He probably doesn't even care I don't know, I just like for people to know what they mean to me. I also want to relieve myself of the burden of wondering if I will get the chance to tell him. I think I will just let him know then if he wants to continue to talk to me or not that will be up to him.