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#501
Jan 13, 2014, 09:17 PM
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today was the first day with the kids back at work and it was the best day in 2.5 weeks. they make me so happy...even when they drive me nuts
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 hawaii04, technigal
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#502
Jan 13, 2014, 10:46 PM
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I am working 12 days straight. I know this isn't good for me, at all, but I have a long 13 day hiatus coming up at the end of the month and feel as though I don't have a choice. I work from home doing a completely monotonous, mind numbing job that gives me way too much time to think and slowly drives me paranoid and delusional the longer I work. I'm rightfully scared but I don't feel as though I have a choice. I hope you guys will help support me when I start my delusional rants and start feeling trapped. It's very, very scary.
__________________
Maranara |
 Anonymous200125, Bill3, hawaii04, River11, technigal
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#503
Jan 14, 2014, 02:03 PM
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It's 6am and I'm still laying in bed trying to sleep. Can't decide if I want to admit defeat and put the tv on, or continue attempting to fall asleep! Birds are getting noisy and it's getting hot again. I'm not ready for today yet.
__________________
"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
| hawaii04, lynn808, River11
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#504
Jan 14, 2014, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
I am not really one to support but please hang in there. Many people like myself depend on you. When I have too much time on my own I do stupid things, get angry, and let those bad voices in my head. Squeeze them out with distractions. Imhotep |
| lynn808
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#505
Jan 14, 2014, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
I do thank you for your kind words...I do take my own advice as much as I can, I'm not one to say and not do, but I know I'm in for a hard week or two.
__________________
Maranara |
| lynn808
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#507
Jan 14, 2014, 04:51 PM
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Dealing with some serious anxiety today...just have to make it through the next few days.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
| Bill3, hawaii04, lynn808, River11, technigal
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#508
Jan 14, 2014, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
 You have your hands full, no doubt a very scary position and as you say, rightfully so ... but you can do it.
__________________
Kathy |
| lynn808
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| Maranara
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#509
Jan 14, 2014, 10:52 PM
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Had a good appointment with my TMJ specialist today, don't have to go back for another 9 months. Figured out that my son's group and his pdoc appointment are on the same day. At least they aren't at the same time. It will mean that he is taking the entire day off of school.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Bill3
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#510
Jan 14, 2014, 11:51 PM
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Spoke to work and it seems that if I'm not back at work within three weeks I'll be fired...
So I guess I just wait for it to happen, because I'm certainly not going to be able to go back any time soon. I don't know how I'm going to afford to live.
__________________
"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
| Bill3
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#512
Jan 15, 2014, 10:11 AM
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Enraged.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
__________________
 Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
| allme, Anonymous200125, bataviabard, beloiseau, hawaii04, lynn808, River11, Truth in Ruin
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#513
Jan 15, 2014, 10:53 AM
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Feeling good! Going to see doc on Friday for some nicotine patches....after 16 years or so, I think it's time I gave up!
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| Anonymous200125, beloiseau, hawaii04
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| hawaii04, River11
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#515
Jan 15, 2014, 12:00 PM
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Keep getting anxious for no apparent reason. Getting a bit annoying really...
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| beloiseau, hawaii04, River11
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| Bill3, hawaii04
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#516
Jan 15, 2014, 12:45 PM
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Called the hospital to find out when my DBT starts, had to leave voice mail
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| beloiseau
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#517
Jan 15, 2014, 01:08 PM
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Still feeling cruddy but I'm up and doing things. I am mustering the energy up to go ride a few horses.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| beloiseau, hawaii04
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| Bill3, hawaii04
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#518
Jan 15, 2014, 04:10 PM
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Had the first job interview of the week...went well, they said they'd call me to schedule a second one. We'll see if that happens
 . I have two tomorrow, so I'm just trying to make it through today without getting too anxious. I feel like I'm on the edge of either staying totally calm or flipping out.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
| hawaii04, Maranara, technigal
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#519
Jan 15, 2014, 04:57 PM
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GRRR.... they lost my referral to DBT so now I have to wait until May!!! So angry right now.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Anonymous200125, hawaii04, HealingNSuffering, River11
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#520
Jan 15, 2014, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
 
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#521
Jan 16, 2014, 01:00 AM
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i need some major me work. i dont know what it's going to take. i think it's going to take more than one thing...and a whole lot of time.
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| beloiseau, hawaii04
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#522
Jan 16, 2014, 12:17 PM
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Doing well. things are progressing fine for me and I'm pretty happy.
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| beloiseau
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| hawaii04, lynn808, technigal
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#523
Jan 16, 2014, 04:36 PM
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I'm tired but I'm doing okay. Found myself slipping a few times but was able to get it under control before it got bad...that's a good thing. Day 6 of 12...half way through!
__________________
Maranara |
| beloiseau, lynn808, technigal
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| Bubbles&Buttercup, hawaii04, lynn808
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#524
Jan 16, 2014, 06:45 PM
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contacted someone to hopefully get into therapy again. ive been in twice before...maybe 3rd time will be the charm? i just need to be honest and not leave things out out of fear. i get so nervous talking about stuff. i did decide to go with someone who could prescribe meds if they would be a good supplement to therapy for me. im not a big fan of meds and i try to avoid them as much as possible, but things get so intense for me that many times other things dont help. we'll see what happens. havent made any official appts yet, just contacted them to share main concerns as well as asking some general info.
i told my friends that they probably wouldnt hear from me for a while since i decided to take a social media break for a bit...trying to lessen stimulation and triggers. |
| beloiseau, hawaii04, lynn808
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#525
Jan 16, 2014, 08:33 PM
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Today wasn't great. I feel like a bad parent. I thought I was doing everything that needed to be done for the baby, but apparently she needs more. This just makes me hate myself more.
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| beloiseau, hawaii04, lynn808, technigal
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