Hospitalizations

Is it true that people with BPD often "seek" hospitalization when in crisis???

I think about it, but usually don't "seek" it. I guess I think that if I go to the hospital there will be people there who will love and care for me (which is usually what I am seeking) but I have learned that it usually makes a bigger mess on the outside that it is worth.

In my experience with BPD friends, yes. All of them were trying to get admitted at some point or another. Some went to private clinics and were in and out of hospital for years, some stayed out of inpatient but continued to do group. All have recovered now with correct therapy.

I'm Guilty!
I have tried to be put in many times when I have felt overwhelmed. A few of them I probably should have been in the hospital, but a few of them were definitely purely out of avoidance and a need for nurturing.

Every time that I have tried I genuinely felt really terrible. But there is a difference between needing someone to take care of you and needing medical intervention.

I have only ever seeked it when I've literally been on the verge of killing myself. I was inpatient once, it helped at the time but I hated every second of it. It did however keep me safe which is what I couldn't do for myself.

Seek it?

Um, not in my case. I tried with all my might to flee it. But, I have been in-patient. And (being the smartass, weirdo that I am) I noticed that in one area of the hospital compound - outside basketball ground surrounded by a tall wooden fence..... That if you took a good running start and planted your foot on a diagonal support board - you could be up and over and free before they even had a clue what happened.

If I have to go back, I think I will have to **** with them.

Many people with BPD at various stage in their lives present to hospitals and emergency departments, but this is not a solid pattern for every person with BPD.

I used to do it, cause I was desperate, and in my mind that was where I would be helped.

I have also been detained various times when extremely effected by drugs, due to concerns about me killing myself.

It has however been a very long time since I presented to hospital in desperation.

I don't seek it. I have been hospitalized twice.

The first time was 5 years ago. My pdoc was taking me off a med that was causing me heart issues. I came off too fast and my brain went nuts. The stupid thing is that the pdoc in the hospital (different doctor) put me on a higher dosage then I had been on when I was taking none of the med....

I was also in a month ago with an OD for 12 days. At that point I had given up on getting help, and had a really bad experience with a T who when told I was suicidal said "so what, other people have problems too". I walked out of the room and called their office to let them know what happened. They offered an appointment the next day with someone else and I said it would be too late.

This is an interesting thread!

I never even considered asking this question, but I think it's an important one.

To answer your question - yes: I honestly think that I (personally), seek out some form of comfort and nurturing when I go to the hospital while in crisis. Although, it really - IS - the only place to go when in crisis. (Crisis being: suicide) Because it is the only place I can go when I am in crisis - I do NOT look at it as seeking out, "hospitalization," for the sake of being, "hospitalized." Rather, I look at it: like I am in crisis - there is no support that I currently have that can offer the same type of support that a hospital can - therefore, my best and only option quite literally - IS - to go to the hospital.

I recently went to the hospital because I was having suicidal ideation. I did not go with the intention of being hospitalized - I just knew that it was the only place I could go for the kind of help that I required. I could have easily talked myself out of it - and said: that I am not sick enough to go to the hospital, that there are other people who are sicker than me - so I should just go back to bed and sleep it off... But really - that is simply - JUST NOT TRUE. There is a reason why there are psychiatric wards at hospitals and there is a reason why there are outpatient programs. Luckily - for me - they did not put me into the hospital for 30 days, and instead - got me into an intensive 30 day outpatient program - that offers more therapy than inpatient could ever offer. That in itself is important to note - that if there IS something that I seek - it is the means and ability to work on myself - and to have someone to trust and talk to about my issues.

So, to simplify: I would say that I seek out support and nurturing when I am in crisis. Because the hospital offers the closest thing to that which I am seeking - I go to the hospital. However, if hospitals no longer offered the kind of support and nurture that I require - I would go elsewhere.

Hope that helps answer your question.

I have now been in hospital twice but I have had the police at my place several times because someone else has called because they were concerned. For me at this point will NEVER seek help from a hospital ever again because its terrible inside. I only asked for help once but probably would ask more if I knew it wasn't so terrible inside. If I have another crisis I will not seek help of any kind my last experience was horrible. Nor will I phone a help line because I don't trust them and don't want the police at my place again. Therefore, basically I am on my own the next crisis but thats purely based on the treatment I rec'd the last time otherwise I probably would go more often.

Must depend where you are located. Mine was totally fine. Hell, if they allowed me my cell phone w/internet - I would never leave.

I don't seek it. I should have been admitted several times but I try to handle myself on my own.

Also people with BPD can end up in hospital from OTHER people calling an ambulance etc, or even police taking them there, due to self harm/overdose, that sort of stuff.

In the moment, it doesn't feel as if I am seeking it out. I just want help, to be safe. Later though, like when I am processing it with T, I realize that what I really wanted was to be nurtured and cared for - and the hospital was where I could get it. Now when I think the hospital might be a good option, I try to assess what I actually want out of it and if there are other ways I can go about it.

I spent much of my teen years in and out of hospitals, my mom would send me to them.. I lived with my grandparents and it was the only time she was really involved in my life. I was a "troubled teen" I guess, but I don't remember doing anything THAT bad.. mostly I just skipped class, smoked pot and hung out with people who my mom thought were a bad crowd. I got put in a residential treatment facility when I was 16 and was there for a YEAR and it was AWFUL. We couldn't leave the building aside from going to school, which was at a different building on campus. If we went outside it was in a small courtyard area that was surrounded by a giant fence. We spent the majority of our time in a small living area that had a couch, some chairs and a TV... there was NOTHING to do besides watch non-cable TV, the same PG 13 movies which were mostly Adam Sandler, listen to the radio, draw, read, write or play cards. We didn't have groups and I only saw my therapist once a month for maybe 15 minutes at a time because she wasn't doing her job right. They had me on EIGHT different medications, including an inhaler for asthma and I have no idea why because I have never had asthma. Our bedroom doors locked and everything was metal and bolted to the ground and we didn't have drawers because they could be used a weapons. I was awarded home passes towards the end of my stay (about 10-11 months later) and I had to do a drug test when I came back, I dropped dirty twice, they said Valium was in my system and if I dropped dirty again then I wouldn't be able to leave. I KNOW I didn't take any Valium.. I mean I how could I even get it? I couldn't leave my house when on home passes and there was a staff there. The only way it could've gotten into my system is if they did something to my medication, which I strongly believe they did. I decided to just not go on any home passes and suck it up till I could finally go home. This happened to some other girls who were also getting ready to leave, one girls parents threatened to sue and they didn't do anything, the other girl didn't have parents and was on her way to semi-independent living but they wound up sending her to a more restricted facility instead. I'm telling you that place was corrupt. Again, I was in there for a year, mostly for skipping school which is so stupid to me because I was legally old enough to drop out but they acted like I had committed a crime. I'm also certain that being confined for so long contributed greatly to my social anxiety. I had a real hard time adjusting back to normal society.. I was afraid to talk and interact with people, like even buying something from the gas station made me nervous. I was afraid to leave my house alone, I couldn't even go around the block by myself. I didn't reconnect with any of my friends.. I just isolated myself till I eventually got a boyfriend (we met through MySpace.) and he forced me out of my shell a little. But yeah... I HATE hospitals, I HATE being confined... and for years I had zero trust for mental health professionals. It's only been within the past 2 years I've been able to seek out mental health treatment willingly. Although I'll avoid hospitals at all costs, even if things are really bad. The last time I was hospitalized was in 2010.. I threw a plate on the floor and my family called the cops and the cop said I was very emotional and took me to the hospital. They wouldn't let me leave because I expressed homicidal thoughts. I tried walking out on my own but a security guard stopped me.. it took like 6 people to subdue me, I was spitting.. it was bad. I was there for Christmas and someone stole my leather jacket. Oh and I have a hospital bill for like $3,000... like how the **** are they gonna send me a hospital bill when I didn't even want to be there in the first place?! I was hospitalized I think two other times before that, although I actually "needed" to be hospitalized because I was in a full blown psychotic state and needed medication to get stabilized. Although I know what my triggers are now and can cope with things better, I also have a therapist.. no meds though, most SSRI's don't work for me and I don't like the side effects. I hope I never have to go to a hospital ever again.

I think in my past that I would often seek out help from the doctors and nurses when I would go to see that see them now I just am not allowed to be admitted because it was just making me worse. But the worse I got was simply from not getting the right help and I became mellow-dramatic and aggressive too many people and not enough support. I hate when those who are doing the helping weren't reflecting themselves into the pool of mental illness like didn't get it at all.

I am ashamed of myself but confused at the same time!! I got my records from a hospital and was looking at Dr. names on them out of just being curious. I am applying for disability is why I even got them. I saw my sisters name on one and read the paragraph. they called my sister and she told them I have poor coping skills and when I get too overwhelmed I go to a hospital because I cant handle it. ??

When I am in distress, if I confide to a friend they TELL me I NEED to go and I don't *want* to go but it is appealing slightly because I know I will be safe and feel better. I know people will look after me and I wont have to hide how I feel I can feel bad and be honest if I want to.

How messed up am I??

Poptart316

I can't even begin to imagine what you went through.

I've sought it and wanted to be hospitalized several times, but never have been.

Am I a complete LOSER?

No, you are not.