DBT: practicing distress tolerance

The DBT skills I seem to turn to most often are Distress Tolerance skills. One day I hope to get good enough for the others that I don't need distress tolerance as much, but for now I use still use these skills a lot.

I find that self care activities really help me come down. Something like giving myself a mini pedicure, or on a really hard day sg a good job washing my face at night.

I figured it might be nice to have a thread on these important DBT skills. Anyone want to share what works for them?

Yoga really works for me. It puts me in a great mindset and afterwards...I don't feel like punching anyone in the face.

There are some really good DBT apps on tablets. I have one and I love it. I think it was 4.99.

Imagining relaxing environments works very well for me. Whether I'm visualizing a quaint country cottage, a rough and ragged beach, or relatively quiet mountainside, I just love it! Never any other people around ~ just nature.

Another helper: I get excess energy out by cleaning or working out. Kind of excessive, in some people's eyes, but I enjoy the exercise and cleaning nooks and crannies that are often skipped in my day to day cleaning. It works pretty well for me.

How about you??

this thread would be really helpful. I am just starting out trying to learn about distress tolerance and how to self soothe.

I use my ipod and listen to music when things are getting bad, especially when my son is having a meltdown, that way I can let my husband take care of the boy without me going into a rage.

I find hot baths very soothing, so that is one of the things I use as well.

I also seem to use distress tolerance the most. One thing I've done is stuff to distract me such as concentrating on breathing or finding as many names as possible that begin with a certain letter. In another circumstance, I listened to a song at max volume using headphones. It wasn't a relaxing song necessarily, but it had music that was able to stir up something inside of me and words that expressed what I was feeling. I tried holding onto ice once. It didn't work.

Cleaning is awesome for anxiety. I like to make it into a mindfulness exercise by cleaning one thing to perfect detail, focusing on breath. Using strong scents works for me, so I like to use something like pine sol or vinegar if I really need to come down.

I am in my third rotation of DBT and I still do not have a clue how to "self soothe". In my twisted brain - it kinda sounds either foreign or perverse.

Yes it is very alien to try and self soothe, in fact i was speaking to my therapist yesterday saying that when i try to do something that is good for me my anxiety seems to increase, she says this is because it is not familiar to me. She says that all the crap, bad, reckless habits i have, although in the long term make things worse for me they are more familiar so i feel more comfortable to me. If that makes sense.

Music is definatly a massive help to me. I also have been trying to use my cat as a self soother lol, cuddling up with him when i feel distressed.

your shrink sounds like my shrink....

good luck to you.

Practice my friend!

I thought the half smile was creepy. I tried it and it works! Now I use it from time to time, and it definitely helps in those moments that just kind of take over.

last week was "half smile".

It IS creepy - if you see yourself in a mirror (at least it is for me - but that is mainly because I despise my reflection). I guess it takes time.

Yeah i don't know lol I tend to go with what's effective to be honest....which would be sternly frowned upon by DBT methods but it's what stops me from going too far so i wonder how badly i feel about certain coping mechanisms?

I have the twisted brain too - nice baths and certain music don't quite do it for me. In fact a lot of the time such ideas make me almost certain i need something more extreme. But i'm ok with the fact it's probably going to take something other than DBT - glad it works for others though

I run....on the treadmill, if it's really bad. With tunes of course. Something I have to concentrate on to keep pace because I run rather fast. When it's cool enough, I'll walk thru the 'neighborhood' (it's an apt complex and gated so no stress of large dogs attacking unexpectedly some foolish blonde woman with earbuds in who can't hear anything coming up behind her)...any kind of physical activity helps, but it's an imperfect science....I found myself suddenly relieved running and then just as abruptly burst into tears because I'm relieved. Stupid.

I do like to go into a chat room I've been on for years and listen to other people b**ch about the minutia of their lives....takes me off the crap of mine. And sometimes, it makes me laugh.

I have through the years vary different things to help myself. The reason I do this is because....I get bored. It has to be that way for me at least. Different strokes for different folks...

Music is a big helper to many of us, as are pets, in self-soothing. There is a very long list of self-soothers ~ over 250 things listed. Here are some ideas to get you going...check it out

Copy from DBT Self Help