[cryingontheinside]

The emotional pain is so bad i can barely type or find the words.

[Bill3]

(((((cryingontheinside)))))

[ifst5]

I want this depressive episode to lift just enough so that I may see my CC on Tuesday and actually deal with some of the external triggers that aren't helping the situation

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Here's what I learned today on how to be productive. Get out of bed when both dogs are jumping on me. Make coffee & go for a walk. Feed dogs, drink coffee, DON'T SMOKE, put on electronic chill tunes, pick one corner, and clean, clean, clean.

Now it's chillin' time with another cup of coffee, incense, and more tunes.

So tired of feeling like I'm the only person like this wherever I go (in real life, I mean). I feel alone.

[Mindful55]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

So tired of feeling like I'm the only person like this wherever I go (in real life, I mean). I feel alone.

Hi never-
You are not alone!! It is true. .I almost feel always alone, even in a room full of people <3

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by Mindful55

Hi never-
You are not alone!! It is true. .I almost feel always alone, even in a room full of people <3

Me, too. Though I am kind of used to it.

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by Bubbles&Buttercup

I live on champagne, valium, cigarettes and chocolate.
I spend my time reading in between crying.
I'm not going real well.

Sounds like many a day in my life!

Hang in there, 'this too shall pass'

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Achy Turtle Armor]

***TRIGGER***SI***

It's been 3 weeks and a day. I had to check my journal. Anyway, a coworker asked me today how I was doing and I said ok. She looks me in the eyes and says, "How are you really doing?" All the while trying to get a peek at my arms but I'm in a t shirt so it's not difficult. I notice this and say, "I really try not to do it there. They are on my legs." Then I slightly pull up my shorts and show her! WTF was I thinking? She sorta gasped. I think she really cares but I don't want another person checking on my SI status. Seriously, I have been dealing with this on and off for years and I don't just go showing people.

Maybe it had to do with exhaustion. I got in 365 boxes today and two of us opened 300! Should be able to do half of that. 290 tomorrow... sorry now I am rambling.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Oh also saw this on fb

[cryingontheinside]

I feel afraid, disapionted, ugly, unlovable, a mistake i shouldnt have been born.
I cant do the most simple of tasks, cant concerntrate or focus. I have no purpose, no value.
I am alone.

[ifst5]

**Potentially triggering**

----------------------------

Anger. Lots of anger.

Anger at the fact that even if a professional is well qualified - if they don't care it doesn't make a difference.

Anger at the fact that my fight to survive isn't as a result of my own shortcomings - but those of others.

Anger at wanting my place in this world - but it clearly not having a place for me.

This probably just comes across as entitled - maybe a whiff of the princess about it. But i'm living la vida broka, spiritually and financially bankrupt.

I'm told that life is the reward. That there's no guarantee of something - else.

So why do i care about what state of subjection i'm in? Why don't i just give in and hope for an end?

Because i'm human? It doesn't feel that way. More humanoid.

I have the pieces of the puzzle but they don't fit in.

[cryingontheinside]

Ifts5, i hear you. I know the feeling and the pain
I hope things will improve for us all
Peace love and light x

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Lately the only time I'm calm is when I'm looking up different medication that I can try to convince my new doctor to give me. I wish I knew how to go about getting prescription meds online without a script.

[Britneigh]

Not sure if anyone else reads post secret...but this secret isn't mine but rings so true for me.

[XSleepingSiren21X]

Originally Posted by Britneigh

Not sure if anyone else reads post secret...but this secret isn't mine but rings so true for me.

I feel I can relate to having something similar to the same thought to this. I really strongly wish I had something else, anything else, in the world besides mental illness. Like this cancer post, my family has a history with this and I'm almost glad, but sad that I don't have it. I feel if I did have cancer I'd least have an excuse for people to actually treat me with sympathy and respect.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by ifst5

**Potentially triggering**

----------------------------

Anger. Lots of anger.

Anger at the fact that even if a professional is well qualified - if they don't care it doesn't make a difference.

Anger at the fact that my fight to survive isn't as a result of my own shortcomings - but those of others.

Anger at wanting my place in this world - but it clearly not having a place for me.

This probably just comes across as entitled - maybe a whiff of the princess about it. But i'm living la vida broka, spiritually and financially bankrupt.

I'm told that life is the reward. That there's no guarantee of something - else.

So why do i care about what state of subjection i'm in? Why don't i just give in and hope for an end?

Because i'm human? It doesn't feel that way. More humanoid.

I have the pieces of the puzzle but they don't fit in.

I'm still trying to solve the jigsaw puzzle of my life. I don't think I'm near the end of my masterpiece and I'm not sure that I will be able to ever complete the puzzle because I think that I have a few pieces of the set missing.

[Side of the Angels]

I started DBT a few weeks ago... and I am using it! I am starting to feel confident in its usefulness and coming back to practices I have used once or twice because I feel they are truly working.

[HereGoesNothin]

I really just feel like I'm never going to get better, like I'm trying to get better for my girlfriend, and if she leaves I'll have nothing left to live for. But despite that, I still feel like everything I do pushes her away, as much as I need her to stay.

[XSleepingSiren21X]

I've been feeling like I'm never noticed and ignored by everyone. I keep thinking everyones purposely trying to act like I'm not here or being unacknowledgable to me.

[ifst5]

Continuing depression.

I know i'm always going to struggle with PC the way i struggle with real life. Interpreting meaning isn't easier when something has been typed instead.

Maybe i'm just stupid.

Anyway, thanks for allowing me to carry on expressing my struggles between illness and lucidity.

[s4ndm4n2006]

new here. doing well here all things considered.

[Dewbot]

I'm not doing well at all. I'm honestly kind of scared.

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by Dewbot

I'm not doing well at all. I'm honestly kind of scared.

Ditto. .....

[Britneigh]

I have my first appointment with a T on Friday. I haven't been in therapy for more than 2 years so I'm beyond nervous. I had a therapist tell me I was never going to get better and I was a lost cause.