[Trace14]

How do you know which one you may need to see? Would a Psychiatrist be a better fit for C-PTSD?

[Yoda]

For the first year I saw both my pdoc and my T weekly.

[CANDC]

Hi trace! Not sure but these articles could lend insight - copy and paste in address line. For some reason not working as link.

pro.psychcentral.com/complex-ptsd-and-the-realm.../006907.html

psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-treatment-of-ptsd/000161

Each person responds differently to meds or talk therapy. Best to choose someone specializing in this field.

[Trace14]

Thank you both for the information.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi trace! Not sure but these articles could lend insight - copy and paste in address line. For some reason not working as link.

pro.psychcentral.com/complex-ptsd-and-the-realm.../006907.html

psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-treatment-of-ptsd/000161

Each person responds differently to meds or talk therapy. Best to choose someone specializing in this field.

<<pro.psychcentral.com/complex-ptsd-and-the-realm.../006907.html>>
Okay my head is spinning like a top, Is there not a simple answer?

<<psychcentral.com/.../complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/00018554>>
This was PAGE NOT FOUND

[Trace14]

When or who, makes the decision on what level of training you need for your issues? I guess you start with a counselor, right? When do you go with a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, etc? Is counseling and therapy the same thing? Can a counselor do both?

[Open Eyes]

A psychologist/therapist is someone who provides therapy/talk therapy. A psychiatrist is typically for medications.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

A psychologist/therapist is someone who provides therapy/talk therapy. A psychiatrist is typically for medications.

Does it make a difference in the level of education that a counselor has to what therapy they can do?

[Open Eyes]

If you have complex PTSD, you should have a therapist that specializes in treating patients that struggle this way.

[Perna]

Whether you see a therapist or doctor/psychiatrist or both is up to you and how well what you decide to try works for you. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Treatments and drugs - Mayo Clinic

[Trace14]

Does that mean I will have to see all of them at least once to know? Maybe I have the wrong idea of what counseling/therapy is. I thought that you went to counseling/therapy if you were mentally perplexed and possibly stuck. That if you were unable to give a causative reason for this, they had tools, and the education, the know how, to help figure that out. But from what I was getting from my T is that if you don't know what we need to talk about or what's bothering you......"you are not ready for therapy".

[Open Eyes]

Is this therapist familiar with trauma work and complex PTSD?

[thepeaceisinthegrey]

Originally Posted by Trace14

How do you know which one you may need to see? Would a Psychiatrist be a better fit for C-PTSD?

I see my therapist 3 times a week and a psychiatrist once every couple of months for med management.

I think these days, in my area at least, psychiatrists do not offer the therapy needed for those of us dealing with this. And most psychiatrists are now private pay and can cost up to $300 a visit, whereas psychologists, LCSW's, etc accept insurance.

I'm extremely happy with my current arrangement.

Have you sought help for this before?

[Trace14]

I think my trust issues with Mental Health people is off the charts right now, not in a good way. When you pay for a service you expect to get it, as a customer. I know some will dispute this Provider/customer relationship, but that's what it is. The T is not your friend, unless you have to pay people to be your friend and that could be a whole other therapy topic. You pay the T to provide a service, like a community college/college teacher. You pay to get that education offered to you. Now you may grasp it, or maybe not, but you have paid that person to try to teach you something.

[Open Eyes]

((Trace14)),

I am sorry you have been so challenged by the Mental Health people you have interacted with. I definitely have my own history of challenges in that area and at a time where that was the last thing I needed to experience.

You know what? My newest therapist has said to me, the reality is that just because an individual happens to have letters after their name, it doesn't mean they are actually good at what they do, or are responsible people that can actually be respectful and helpful.

The therapist you have discribed as telling you that you are not ready yet for therapy is really telling you that "she/he" is not capable of giving you what you need from "her/his" end. Someone struggling with PTSD that may have a history of "emotional abuse" can be very triggered by this because of the way others have also said in their dysfunctional ways, "I can't recognize your needs and instead can only blame "you" because of that fact".

Yes, you are right, it is a provider/customer relationship and you do have the right to "fire" a professional that fails to fill "your" needs, which in your case is therapy for someone who struggles with PTSD or a specific kind of PTSD called complex PTSD.

Once I did find a therapist that was actually capable of helping me, I realized just how much other providers had not only failed me, but did so badly and really missed some very important "clear red flags" that I presented. Yes, that can be very triggering because that is also what many individuals experience in their history which is often experiencing "dysfunctional" individuals that also failed to be respectful in recognizing your needs too.

Trust is something that is challenging for "everyone" to begin with, when someone is challenged with PTSD, that challenge is magnified as that is what PTSD does, the individual struggling with it becomes "very sensitive" and can experience "fight/flight" reactions that they themselves don't know how to control or often even what may be triggering these episodes.

What is actually taking place is that what has been disturbed is how the brain normally functions. The frontal executive conscious part of the brain is used to how much of the subconscious parts of the brain is on "auto pilot" and not having to "think through" every aspect of one's daily life routines. This is much like how a person gets used to living in a home and getting so that person subconsciously just "knows" where everything is, all the light switches, where everything is in the cabinets, where each room is, where the bathroom is etc. When PTSD happens, all of a sudden it's as though all these things have been changed and now the person has to look for each light switch, find "where" the bathroom is and also has to figure out "where" everything is in all the cabinets too.
The executive part of the brain now needs to "pay attention" a lot more rather then just "knowing" where all these things are and a person "just" getting up and getting ready for work etc. where none of these things in their environment were disturbed or changed so they don't even have to think about them. When someone suddenly "has to" think about all these things, they get very "stressed' and even very "emotional" too. One of the well known most stressful things in the average person that has been well noted is actually that of "moving from one home/dwelling to another". However, another big stressful thing is also "ending a long time relationship" too. People often choose to stay in a dysfunctional relationship simply because they have "adapted" to it in a "predictable" way and they don't know "how" to actually get away from it. Often what can happen is the individual was unknowingly taught that a "dysfunctional" relationship was normal, in other words, "isn't that where all light switches are located?". Hmm, lets just think about that for a minute. Did you know that when houses are built typically light switches are put in places that are "familiar"?

Ok, well, right now you are clearly stressed, you get overwhelmed and frustrated, you feel uneasy, you are even at times hyper aware, and most likely you also struggle to sleep too. You want to find a way to get yourself together and so you are now seeking help to do just that too. What kind of therapist is best suited to help you with that? Well, a therapist that understands "how" you are challenged and has the ability to sit and listen to you discuss your own "house" and your "own" history as best as you can so you can slowly figure out how to get organized and slowly build up a way to "feel safe" and function so you can be more at "ease" with yourself.

Just because a person goes to college and learns about "psychology" and begins to practice offering "therapy", doesn't mean they will actually have the true capacity to be able to sit with a patient and slowly "listen" to a patient while the patient slowly builds trust in them so they can reveal "how" their private house actually "is" without the fear of being "judged badly", especially if the person is struggling with "complex PTSD" where they have already had too many bad experiences where someone else "judged" them and "hurt" them.

You asked me "how long" does this "therapy" take place where you can begin to make gains on "feeling better" again. The truth is I can't really give you that answer, it's different for each person. What I can tell you is that it does take time to find a good therapist, that a good therapist has to have the capacity to sit and listen to you and be with you as you discribe your own personal "house" and where things are "in you" and not "judge" you for where things are either. You don't "have to" be able to remember everything either, not everyone can remember their childhoods in great detail. There are also things that individuals "may" disassociate from "unknowingly" too, that's ok, often what is needed when that happens is some more creative ways to access these areas without directly going into them.

There is no such thing as "a perfect" person. It's ok if you are not perfect, it's ok to accept yourself and work on whatever you need to in order to "heal" and gain a sense of who you are and how to slowly get your own "house" in order. It's "ok" to slowly learn how to establish better boundaries "for yourself" too, truth is we all make mistakes along the way in understanding how to best "protect" our boundaries. You don't have to be "ashamed" about whatever ways you may not have protected your boundaries in your past either. It's "ok" to grieve the ways others have invaded your boundaries and in so doing disrupted "your house" that you are "now" learning how to organize so you can once again settle into who you are in "the now".

Healing is slowly learning that "reminders" of "hurts" can come forward and pull you into a time that is "past" and can be upsetting and even stressful, yet slowly making the conscious choice to say to "self", yes that did happen, it was upsetting to me, but that is not "now". It may sound "easy" but it isn't, because sometimes a trigger can take place where the person doesn't quite know "what" they are being reminded of. PATIENCE is a must when that happens, understand that a better understanding of "what it may be" will slowly come forward. Try to allow "self" to slowly understand that it's just an old "switch" that is from your past that possibly upset you more than you consciously realized, that is ok, it's not really going to hurt you either, you just need to be patient until you can figure out what that switch really means so you can finally "resolve" it.

A "good" therapist is a person that actually understands what I have just stated. They are a person that understands how important it is that first and foremost you feel "safe" with them and slowly get to the point that "together" you can slowly explore your house and discover whatever is troubling you so "together" you can work on "resolving" it.

((Hugs))
OE

[avlady]

nicely put open eyes!!!

[Trace14]

That explains a lot, thanks OE for putting in the time to write that out.

[Open Eyes]

You are welcome Trace, I was very, very confused when I developed PTSD which eventually produced challenges from my past that only confused me even more. I have realized now that because the major trauma was such a dramatic invasion causing damage to more than I could manage emotionally and that situation has still been unresolved, that presented me with magnifying other situations from my past where things happened to me where my boundaries were also invaded badly.

I did "not" get the right help at first either, as I have mentioned, which only made my challenge even worse too. If I can help anyone avoid that challenge I do so because it's already hard enough to understand this challenging PTSD, an individual deserves to have a therapist who actually KNOWS what it means and is patient, understanding and SAFE to work with.

[Trace14]

You are so right and I appreciate the guidance. It's easy to see why so many people with PTSD suffer so much more because of the lack of understanding and support. SO we draw up in a protective shell, only peeking out at the world around us from a safe distance. I'm trying to find a good reason to go back to a counselor but it's just not there. Is the risk worth the reward?

[Open Eyes]

It's worth is if you find one that is a good one. I understand your reluctance, I had that going on myself. I am glad I found a good therapist, it made a big difference.

[thepeaceisinthegrey]

Once again OE your post was incredible. I enjoy reading them so much!

[Trace14]

Maybe in time OE, I wouldn't even know where to start with a new T.

[thepeaceisinthegrey]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Maybe in time OE, I wouldn't even know where to start with a new T.

I said that to my T at our very first session 3 years ago when she was asking me why I was seeking therapy. "I don't know where to start." and she simply said..."At the beginning." and now here we are 3 years later and I am still telling her things and just starting "at the beginning". I doubt that helps but it worked for me.

[Open Eyes]

That is a good question, where to start. It depends on the individual and where they are in their life in the now. Even how old the person is makes a difference too.

Typically with "complex" PTSD, the individual's subconscious mind has been so intruded on by others that they have gotten to a point where they have really lost their sense of "self". And they do tend to blame themselves for it and that is where a therapist has to be firm and let them know that it's really "not" their fault.

It isn't "just" how others around you "hurt" you, it's how these individuals disrupted your sense of "self" that needs to be worked on slowly. That is why it's so important that a therapist be one that you can feel "safe" with which means you feel this individual is not going to judge you, but instead will "validate" that "yes" the way others in your life treated you wasn't fair to you and here is how it affected you that you did not understand.

For example, you talked about your mother and how she tries to manipulate you, when you don't give in to her she even cries which in turn makes you feel "bad" about yourself. She was a big part of your foundation as a person too, so it's important that you talk about her so you can see how she affected you that was not your fault. It's important to understand that "most if not all" children want to please because when they do please they gain a sense of worthiness and permission to grow and live and prosper.
If you think about it, look at how popular Facebook is, well, that is popular because of how people like to be "liked", when that happens they gain a sense of empowerment about who they are and how well they are doing in their life. All this facebook, twitter, texting, emailing, is expressing how much people are connecting so they can feel "a part of", and many of the individuals that are very active with it are the younger ones that are exploring the social world and "themselves".

So, going back to your mother and how she tends to be so needy with you. You need to talk about her and "learn" why she is like that, why, people can be like that so you understand what it means and respond to them in healthier ways where you "don't" feel guilty when you set boundaries. You had mentioned that you ended up leaving home early, at age 16, well, that is very young yet. And the problem with leaving a needy parent at that age is an individual will be looking for a way to "please and do well" where they may "learn" yet other things that are not all that healthy for them either.

It could be that if you are living with your mother again "out of need" while you get your life back together, that her behaviors that have not really changed very much are triggering you. Well, because you chose to leave her at age 16, that can be a starting point because you left with only a certain amount of "life skills" and that is probably the real beginning of perhaps learning some "unhealthy" life skills.

You need to keep in mind that you are not going back to become "self critical" and regret. You are just at a point where you need to take some time out to look at what did take place with you where you really didn't have enough knowledge to understand the kind of person your mother was/is, and why and how that affected you. You are learning how to clean that up, morn whatever you addressed, experienced afterward that you really didn't know how to address, and understand it better now so you can make "peace" with it. For example, you can feel bad that your mother is so needy, but you don't have to feel bad when you set up your personal boundaries with the ways she expresses that neediness with you.

Right now, you have talked about how you broke away from a toxic relationship. You are now living in a basement with your children. Ok, first, it is good that you made the choice to "save yourself" and disconnect from someone clearly unhealthy for you. But, you are not sure "where" to go from here. That is "ok" though. However, for you to get a better idea about "where to go" from here, it's a good idea that you take some time and finally look at where you have been, why that happened, and how you can better manage yourself in the future.

You talked about visiting your friends, and how you used to love to work on cars. Well, that's good, because you are visiting a part of you that you liked, nothing wrong with that. What you need to get a hold of is who your core is and then learn how to settle into that part of you only this time with "better boundaries". As you do that, you not only help yourself, but you will also be able to help your children in healthier ways too.

PTSD is a challenge of "being detached" and feeling uneasy about one's life in ways they don't always completely understand. It takes "time" to explore the deep personal challenges, morn whatever you feel you lost, and be validated as needed, but to also work on getting a better hold on who you are and how you can move forward.

When you do this with a good therapist, you can have a mentor type individual that helps you feel "safe' so you can be who you are and live your life in a way that "you" are happier as a person. It isn't about showing someone your personal "house" to have them put you down either, instead it's to help you organize it based on who you are as a person, that you can learn a lot and actually slowly clean up whatever is disorganized and have a much better way of managing your life. As you do this, when a trigger happens, you will understand it better, self sooth better and gradually develop better self management skills so triggers are not so debilitating to you.

[Trace14]

<<You are now living in a basement with your children >>
I don't have children, or live in a basement.

You are such an amazing writer, with so much knowledge about what's going on inside people. Reading your posts I keep saying "wow". If you are not in a mental health field you should be, you would be so helpful to so many people with your kindness and understanding. I want a counselor like you Have any twins living in NC?

You know it might be a good idea for me to make a trauma time line, as best as I can remember. Maybe that would give me a better idea of where this may have started and where to lead the T, or should I lead the T? I may have given my last T too much info, it may have overwhelmed her as it does me seeing it in writing. So maybe if I go see another T I will just answer what she asks. Is that the right way to look at this?

It would be nice to have a counselor, who specializes in CPTSD, to make a client/patient/customer (CPC)101, to making a meaningful and productive session. To hear from the counselor's POV what they would like for the (CPC) to bring to them, or not bring to them. What would be most helpful for the counselor and what is not. Or at least this would help me.

Maybe I need to type this up and hand it to the counselors I talk to I asked my last T what she wanted to know and it seemed to frustrate her. I typed up pretty much my life history and gave it to her, though we didn't talk much about it and it was a painful time for me to put that in writing and it seemed so unimportant to her. I'm glad it's in writing now so I don't have to do that again.