Flashbacks?

Are yours in color or black and white, or just sensory? Or both?

It's a little complicated, for me. First, I have acute trauma from when I was 17, and complex trauma from childhood.

With the acute trauma, they are color or just sensory (usually call these body memories). I am also one that has dreams in color, which I know not everyone does.

With the complex trauma, it's difficult. I am also diagnosed DID. Mostly, I think it would sensory, but not in the same way as the acute. With the complex, I will suddenly go into panic mode, without any external reason, and I can't figure out why until I've calmed down, usually.

They are triggered in similar ways as other flashbacks. Something that most people consider innocuous, like a scent or a statement.

Flashbacks for me - are like someone lifted me up and flew me back in time to watch it from a up close view where I can not only see in detail what is going on, but hear n feel n taste n smell everything as it was too...memory of the event when not in a flashback is not as detailed or poignant but flashbacks are "almost" real...

I guess everyone's flashbacks are unique to the person and trauma.
How about dissociation? Do you see or feel, hear, taste anything?

When I dissociate - I feel as if part of me no longer exists

I'm wondering if I'm calling what happens with me the wrong thing. But it seems flashbacks, and dissociation, are specific to the person and trauma. Would you agree?

Yes, they are very personal. Would you like to describe your experiences?

My flashbacks vary. Some are sensory, some are full-blown everything and more often that not, I dissociate during/after and sometimes before if there was a bad trigger. Dissociation for me is really complex and I don't know if I can describe it but more often than not, I don't remember anything. When I'm dealing with depersonalization or derealization; I feel as though I'm watching my movements through the eyes of someone else. Sometime, rarely, I see myself do things from a third person view.

Everyone's is somewhat different and unique to their own trauma(s), though.

I don't really have flashbacks anymore(and I hope I never have them again) but when I did it was like going back in time and reliving events.I didn't 'see' the events,I experienced them just as I did when they happened.I wasn't in the present at all.The worst one I had lasted for about 3 days straight and was the most terrifying thing.My husband told me he tried to help me,kept telling me I was having a flashback but that he couldn't get through to me.

So I guess I don't understand the question of whether they are in black or white or sensory because I have never experienced them in that way.

I do get vivid memories that pop in my mind when I've been triggered or get some strong emotions,extreme anxiety,etc. but I've never considered those as flashbacks.I have body memories too but also don't consider them flashbacks.

Those are the worst, though I can't imagine being in that state for three days. I'm happy you haven't had to deal with that in a long time. I don't get those as often anymore, either. They still happen, but it's rare.

Flashbacks for me are like going to silent hill.

I no longer get flashbacks, or not in the way i used to. I don't know if what i occasionally experience now are flashbacks in the true sense of the word or just more anxiety/panic attacks.
The flashbacks i used to get would have me right back in the situation both physically and mentally. Sometimes I'd be floating above watching but unable to do anything to stop what was happening, it was always in colour and was incredibly difficult to come out of.
Now I sometimes get triggers it's usually a noise such as someone whistling that sets me off, it depends on the situation I'm in as to how much it effects me, if I'm in a situation where I'm likely to feel trapped and can't easily get away such as being on public transport, I'll become very anxious and more often then not angry and want to lash out or scream, neither of which i do except in my own head. Thankfully I've learned techniques to deal with some of these triggers and to calm myself down before i get completely immersed in the feeling.

Same for me. I don't get flashbacks, really, but distinct memories. I always recall the feeling, though. There are times I get triggered and start crying inappropriately.

RockabilliyMama, I do get flashbacks and given the right trigger I will cry too, don't feel bad. Let it out, its OK. One movie that really gets me going is Platoon. Near the end of the movie Elias (the good sargent) who after letting other soldiers evacuate first, gets left behind. He is chased by the Viet Cong, till they catch up with him and kill him. in this scene I start to sweat, my hands get clammy, my breathing slows down, I enter a kind of paralysis, and I cry hard. I have this theme in my childhood where I get left behind alot, in bad situations. i think crying in our cases is OK because there is a very good reason for it. Shalom.

For me it is like being forced to sit and watch a horror movie. I can't escape it and have to watch it until the end. I also experience the feelings I felt at that age as the abuse was happening. I'm basically reliving the abuse. The body memories are very strong but the visual is blurry but it doesn't negate the intensity of the experience.

But I believe all this is part of the healing journey. My body wants me to relive the trauma so as to heal. It may sound counter-intuitive but somehow it works for me when dealing with flashbacks.

Purple Heart, I think there is a kind of duality aspect to flashbacks. If its a one shot deal like movie scene, or a one off, and I pass through the event and then recover, it can be theraputic. I can learn how to deal with the event with less or slightly less impact the next time around. But, if there are multipe triggers one after other I will get overwhelmed. Can't deal with it. Gunshots send me to a dark place that takes me a while to get out of. For me happiness is not a warm gun. My body, mind, and spirit all become discordant and stay that way for a while. Man it is a painful experience. Shalom.

Yes it is painful but I think we have to go through it. We can't go around it. You can't even take any medication for flashbacks. I just have to go through it. I just hope oneday the flashbacks will end. But I find as i work on a particular flashbacks it loses its strength.

My flashbacks are "extreme" according to my therapist. It's like it is happening for the first time, I am not aware of anything but the flashback and it's very real. I throw up, I wet the bed....it's not pretty.

They are color and as real as life.

I don't see anything and I rarely get specific memories. It's mostly emotional and very strong and deep.
My trauma is mostly psychological and long term from early childhood. Instead of reliving memories, I just feel emotionally exactly the same as years when I was bullied or I feel trapped and powerless like I did about my family circumstances. These feelings are triggered by smallest incidents in my current relationships (someone says something or ignores me etc...). My reaction to these is much stronger than appropriate. I feel like I'm drowning and can't get to the surface.

I can really empathise with you. I am exactly the same. Any situation where you feel a lack of power can be a trigger.

An old GP blamed me saying I just wanted my own way. It is our inner child crying out to us to help.

Have you read Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

They have been of some help to me.

Thank you! Yes I have read his book. It's fantastic and had helped me understand myself so much!

I don't know what color I've had them in because I rarely have visual flashbacks. Maybe black and white? My flashbacks are usually emotional.

I've just started working through Surviving to Thriving! It's intense, but I'm glad I have it. I'm learning a lot and a lot is being validated about my experiences both past and present.