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#1
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Take #2,
Hope everyone is okay. ![]()
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
![]() kenziemae312
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#2
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Scared...
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![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() Trace14
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#3
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__________________
![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#4
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Right. Ok. It sucks. Thanks for understanding.
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![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() Trace14
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#5
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It does suck, but danger can be anywhere at anytime. We have to watch out for it. And the little's need to report any problems with someone.
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
![]() pegasus
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![]() pegasus
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#6
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I'm here. Doing ok I guess. Workplace stress is rearing it's ugly head again. Taking a day off today to do some reorganization at home. Will enjoy not having to look at the clock for 4 days.
How are you Trace?
__________________
"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost." ~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003) "I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group." ~ Anne Rice |
![]() Trace14
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#7
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I'm here just don't have much to say as my last comment was ignored
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#8
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So much has been happening and changing in my life, it's scary. I really don't know what to do now. New T, finally honest with H, but I don't want to be with him or have him touch me; it hurts so bad because of what he did. I'm an "all or nothing" type of person and I don't feel like I can trust H with my all anymore. Like I said, life is crazy right now and I'm having a hard time keeping it together. Thanks for reading this...
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![]() reb569
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#9
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Quote:
![]() Doing okay, thanks for asking though.
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#10
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Quote:
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
![]() kenziemae312
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#11
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I'm here. Not sure how I am feeling.
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Soup |
![]() Trace14
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#12
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What's up? If you want to share.
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#13
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Somewhat out of the blue, T is suggesting reducing sessions with a view to stopping. Not sure how I feel about it. Although, actually I probably feel a ton of different things, which is quite confusing.
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Soup |
![]() Trace14
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#14
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Quote:
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#15
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I guess it's just that I've been seeing T for so long (7 years) and although I know it wasn't ever meant to be forever, part of me was putting my head in the sand about ending. I have wanted to quit many times, but T has persuaded me to stay, now it's coming from T, it just feels different. I'm not sure I can do the weaning off. Part of me has already left. My father had a mental illness and I frequently felt ignored / unseen as a child. I guess it's maybe those things being triggered. My self preservation stuff kicking in. But it also means, that I can't talk to my T about it. I know I will go to the next session pretending. However, ultimately I know I am a tough cookie, have been through worse. So it will all be ok in the end. How are you doing?
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Soup |
#16
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This group T I'm seeing now is leaving at the end of this month. That's the second person I've seen that has , or is leaving. You just don't seem to spend much time with any one T at the VA. Keeps you from getting close to them, and not expecting much from them. I felt bad when I had to stop seeing the civilian T. I really think I could have made some progress with her, but I needed insurance. Not sure how long you have been seeing this T, but it's like losing a friend I'm sure. And probably you can see her again if you need to.
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#17
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Do you feel it is helping you with the changes in your T's? I know I had develop trust in order to progress and that took a long time for me.
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Soup |
![]() Trace14
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#18
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But yesterday I found a stash of her meds when I was cleaning out her room so that I can move my office into there and convert my old office into a spare room/storage room. I was hoping that she would do more of the cleaning but she didn't and with school starting I know she isn't going to have time in the near future so, I told her I was going to work on cleaning it out. She stashed about 8 days of meds in a plastic bag, stuffed inside her laptop box. I was contemplating throwing it out but wanted to make sure there was no paperwork or discs in it, so there, inside a compartment within the box I found them. So now I'm not sure if she's still on her meds, or has been tapering down, or if she just was saving some for her next attempt if it came to that. I can never seem to get out from under this. But I have to keep looking at the fact that right now she seems to be very happy and she may have stock piled prior to meeting her boyfriend. I just don't know what it all means right now. They will be up sometime this weekend so I'm going to ask her about it then.
__________________
"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost." ~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003) "I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group." ~ Anne Rice |
![]() Trace14
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#19
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I'm thinking that was a mistake now though. Some major stress is building at work and then finding my daughters med stockpile yesterday has me majorly anxious. If I could keep all stressful situations out of my life I guess I would probably be ok. But realistically, that isn't going to happen. My insurance has finally started paying again so I guess I'm ok there too. I might see if I can move my next appointment up a week. Why is it that CPTSD constantly makes you think that you are ok, that you really don't, or shouldn't have a problem. Must be bad coping mechanism that was created "during those years".
__________________
"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost." ~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003) "I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group." ~ Anne Rice |
![]() Trace14
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#20
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Quote:
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Soup |
![]() reb569
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#21
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Trust is hard for us and any T worth their weight knows that. You seem to care about this T. You think maybe you could let down the walls enough to hear his/her side and what the plans are moving forward? ![]()
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#22
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Did you you prepare her enough for life outside the home? Did you teach her respect and responsibilities? Did you do the best you could? I am almost certain you did. So now you are seeing the unfolding of all your hard work, the beautiful person you groomed her to be. Be proud and let her test the waters of life. Being there every time to catch her when she slips up, or to point that out to her, is giving her a false sense of her strength. You know we became strong from going through our own mistakes/hardships and working through them. Strength is not a given, I don't think. I know you love her with all your heart and I'm so glad she's close by to help you with this empty nest period. You guys are starting a whole new chapter to your relationship now ![]() ![]()
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#23
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
#24
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Yes, you are right, part of me is hurt. T was providing that parental role, that I missed out on. I have to accept, that it can never completely mend or replace it and know T has worked hard to silence my 'inner critic' and foster more self compassion. I guess there is nothing more that can be achieved with T and now I just have to practice these things. Rationally, I know T has my best interests at heart and doesn't want me to be stuck in a dependent relationship. I just, I suppose, feel a bit pathetic and I also feel vulnerable and am not good at showing my weaknesses. Still don't know how the next session will pan out. But am trying to be open minded / reflective.
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Soup |
![]() Trace14
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#25
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Quote:
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![]() "Caught in the Quiet" |
![]() SoupDragon
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![]() SoupDragon
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