Whats the point

everything is falling apart. my life is *****. all i have left is my anger and hate. they have always been with me, protecting me from the world. whenever i fool myself into thinking that i am happy i sink even further into darkness. i dont see what the point of trying anymore. i cant stand to be around anybody. i dont want to see my friends or my family anymore because i'll probably grow to hate them as well. i really just want to disappear and never come back.

When anger and hate are what feels normal to us and comfortable, feeling happy can be alarming and feel threatening, a reason to retreat back to where our comfort level is.

Your thoughts are your thoughts. Your family and friends have their own thoughts and I suspect their thoughts are not the same as yours, as we are all separate.

I'm glad you're here.
I'm proud of you for working on the things that are important to you.

I know how you feel, I'm the same situation. I've just decided to keep myself away from everyone for the moment, until I feel I can face them again. Sometimes I think it's the best I can do because if I talk to family either I or they will get upset and make it worse.

thats awesome....best words I read for years...

loving hurts

i distance myself from people because I cannot handle liking them...

I want to rescue everybody...but no-one is rescuing me because if they could they would have and then I would be okay

but they are busy,,

but they secretly want something anyway..

and I guess I do to...but who is hurting the most?

i live in a dorm, so i have to see people no matter what. i only have 2 more weeks of school to go this semester, but i dont have it in me to finish. i just want to leave and never come back here, but i cant drop out of school because i'll never be able to do anything with my life. i feel like im just a waste of space.

your situation is sounding more and more like mime, I hate college too, wish I could leave but I can't. Hang in there.

I can totally relate. I finished school, which was dreadful, but now I work in an office where I have to talk to people all day and I just want to tell them to shut the hell up and let me work and go freaking home. This is not social hour, it's work, I'm only here because I need cash, other than that, I would leave right now.

It's like I crave the feeling of being connected to people and wanting to love and be caring, but I've always ran in to people that don't want that or fake it to get something...there's no one there to look out for me, so I'm like my own army and it's hard to watch my own back from all angles. The friends I used to have, we've all grown apart, and my family is crap.

My current boyfriend has to deal with me and I don't even want to deal with me. I sometimes just want to tell him I'm not worth it, he can do better, but I know I'm a great person, I just don't see others that way.

Sorry, I began rambling. Best Wishes to you, that's all I have to give.

Lone Wolf, it's all in how we perceive things, and then what we do with it. I do best when I can only be around people when I feel like it. So I have had to change the way I look at things. That's why I get good grades in college. I dive into my books. At work it's a little harder. If I stay in the moment, do my job well, and go home without taking work with me (leave it in the office) I do well. When I go to work, I have to leave home at home. The best person to take care of you, is you. The world doesn't owe us a living. We make our own happiness. We get help from others in different ideas, and empathy from those who have gone through stuff too. You can take those ideas and make them your own, or leave them. None of this means that we won't have very hard times. But they can be short lived. You, and everybody else are not a waste of space. We all have something to contribute and share. I hope you can find your peace.

Disapperaing and never coming back is never the answer I don't know how you're feeling so I won't tell you that you don't have a right to feel that way and I'm not entirely sure why you feel the way you do.... SOOO all I can tell you is try to hang in there and find something to distract you or make you feel a little better.......

Hello wolf,

I had a german shephard when I was young that was my best friend. I know wolves are dangerous, especially when they are hungry or protecting their young, but I like them nonetheless. I wouldn't dare pet one, if I met in the woods though.

I've felt very desperate in my life also. I spent one semester in a liberal arts school, just after high school, and I discovered that I had zero social skills. That was a tough wake up call for me, it hurt a lot and I felt that life was unfair. College can be a brutal social enviroment and colleges aren't very tolerant of folks with poor social skills. That is wrong and unfair. I believe that one day, in the future, it will change though. Currently, I believe that little has changed. Bullies are just cleverer about how they bully and who they bully. Intelligence doesn't mean someone is nice, or will be a good friend.

I've learned, in therapy, that suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Things WILL improve for you, it takes time. To be safe, though, I think you need to find someone you can trust. This person might help you cope and might even help you to not do something desperate that you will regret. In the future, this will just be a bad memory. Accept help from someone trustworthy, you deserve that. Even convicted murderers are allowed, many times, in prison to socialize and get therapy. What have you dome that is so horrible that you are isolating yourself even worse than they are isolated. If you are in college, it is likely that you don't have a criminal history. Don't allow yourself to be ashamed of yourself, you haven't been convicted of any crime! Don't allow others to make you feel poorly about yourself either. Whether people do it on purpose, or if just unintentionaly, the effect is the same. Nature is cruel and not fair. We still live in nature, even though we are taught that nature is outdoors and civilization is indoors. Nature, human nature, is still vicious and cruel and not always fair. You need to defend yourself, you deserve to enjoy life. Gather the tools you need to survive, there are plenty of trustworth people who can, and will help you. You need to accept the help though. No-one can do that bur you.

I hope everything works out for you "Wolf" and that your situation improves. There are just as many "goodguys" as "badguys"n this world. You aren't alone!

I'm on your side

A.

i know what you feel. im like that to i lock my self im my room and dont come out for days. 'cuz i hate the world and i feel so ****ing fustrated at my self and the world

Everybody says that i need to find people to get close to. I just cant do that any more. the last time i got close to someone it destroyed me. it was a girl at school who i talked to a lot and i got really close to and began to like, but the feelings only went 1 way. she's now dating her childhood crush and that crushed me (this just happened over the weekend and is part of the reason i feel like **** today). this isnt the first time that this has happened to me, its happened 3 or 4 times before this.

Hi wolf,

That stings, I think everyone in the world feels it at times in their lives. Relationships have to be voluntary, we can't expect relationships to work or not work, it is out of our hands. I don't think this person intentionaly hurt you, and if he/she did, then its probably good you found out now, rather than after you two had gotten more serious. I always like the saying, "Its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Either way, you need to cope somehow. Reaching out for help is not weakness or "giving in" to anything, it just means you need help surviving right now. If you were drowning in a lake would you just silently go under? Make some noise and someone will very likely respond and help you to safety.

Don't hide in your room alone, your bad feelings might fade in time, but you will probably have to face this situation again nonetheless. I think if you reach out for help from someone who is trustworthy(therapist, doctor etc.) they can help with your current situation and help you learn skills so you will be prepared if this situation occurs again in the future. Life will always have its ups and downs, they are unavoidable. We can react to these ups and downs in more and more productive ways though, if we are willing to learn how. I don't think anyone is born with all the answers to all their problems. They all make make mistakes and are guided to better solutions. Don't allow yourself to think poorly about yourself and your life. Ask for help and find things that help you to cope. I like to go for long walks and read the daily newspaper. I play music on the guitar also, sometimes for others but most of the times, just while I'm alone and passing the time. These things are much better than thinking about unpleasant stuff for too long.

I'm glad you are reaching out for help here I've found these boards to be safe thusfar.

Keep yourself safe!

A.

Im just not sure where I belong anymore. Ive grown distant from my home town, but im not as happy here at college as i thought I would be.

Hi wolf,

I think your having trouble making decisions, from what I've read of your posts. I think talking to someone will help with that. I find that listening to someone elses perspective on my problems, can make them less scary and more manageable.

Good luck, I think when the universe closes one door, it opens others. Don't give up!

A.

I understand. The only things that help me cope are doing something that I do well, writting it all out, helping people who are worse off (philanthropy), and remembering that what I feel will not be forever- it might seem like it is, but it's not.

mate!...I know the feeling....

what makes it worse is the friggin 'give up' factor' right?

if you don't like something so much it hurts?

life...that thing we get up for damn it!

is it essential?

what am I doing it for?

others ...maybe?

so many questions assault the mind of me when confused

is the pressure more than I can PUSH back on it....it's loneliness in troubles that makes me doubt what I can do mate.

the POINT is the one you want to make...

if it's ****ing off...then thats ok...

you have passion ....it will back you up wherever you go...rest easy now buddy

Maybe the point is all of us being here together on PyschCentral#!

*hug* Crew

now that gives me a bit of hope
Not a lot, I'm really grrrtonight.
But still ...
Thanx, Crew. *hug*