[shezbut]

I'm curious how many people here struggle with self-hate.

Do you believe your self-hate is the cause of your other emotional problems, or the other way around?

If you've made it past self-hate, what techniques did you find helpful to get you through?

[Lauru]

I wallow in my self hate. That is all there is of me.

I'm curious how many people here struggle with self-hate.
I'm not curious but I'd guess quite a few.

Do you believe your self-hate is the cause of your other emotional problems, or the other way around?
The chicken definitely came first
Seriously that's a tough question. There had to be some reason for the self hate to be there originally but it probably would have originated from an external source. I know that it definitely causes and exacerbates other problems.

If you've made it past self-hate, what techniques did you find helpful to get you through?
That's so hard. If you do things in an attempt to eliminate the self hate...then these things don't seem to be genuinely altruistic. Or are they? I suppose the effort is an attempt to do something good for yourself. Oops, just looked up altruism...it's for the benefit of others.

Good questions...sorry I don't have good answers

Good thread Shez.

I sometimes hate myself and I think it comes from my childhood, I feel worthless, I was bullied at school too, was called ugly and fat and I guess that I still think this even though I am now an adult, My parents were no good either they were only interested in themselves most days, Never done anything about the bullying, I had no friends so I believed and still do what people say to me.

[Nicks_Nose]

I had many problems at different times in my life with self-loathing. Most of it was caused by external factors such as bullying in school. Once self esteem is damaged, the wrong thought patterns come out. It took counselling and reading for me to realize it and learn to change my thought patterns. Life is starting to make an upswing now so I am calmer. If things get tough again, I will begin to think bad thoughts again. It is a learning experience.

[skyscraper]

I think my emotional problems cause me to self hate. I have nothing but negative thoughts in my head. Every time I look in the mirror I say, ''I hate you so much''. I think I'm an ugly person on the inside and out. I never understand when people say good things about me or give me complements. It's like why cant I see what they see???

[Miss Laura]

I am a self-hater!!

I can't help it, I call myself so many nasty names. I am a loser and I believe I am. I believe a lot of the nasty names I call myself are true and I am them. Its worse when I write them down in my diary which Psychiatry see- oops!

I wouldn't say I hated myself all the time but sometimes there are times when all I can do is hate myself

[shezbut]

Personally, I have battled major self-hate for as long as I can recall.

I was an extremely shy girl from kindergarten all the way up. I had a really hard time making friends, and we moved at least annually. I've gone to many schools ~ 8 elementary schools, 1 middle school, and 6 high schools.

I am horrible at accepting compliments as well. I don't trust others: think that they're just trying to get lucky, or simply trying to be nice. And I don't take the guy trying to get lucky as a compliment either. I've known many who'd say anything just to get wet. I avoid looking in the mirror completely, because of my strong urge to pulverize my image.

[di meliora]

When You Don't Like Yourself

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-dont-yourself

[-jimi-]

I never had any self esteem issues before I looked for psychiatric help. I didn't like my issues but I didn't hate myself for them. Unfortunately the care people thought I was too secure and looking back I realize they tried to break me. They dang nearly succeeded...

Took a while building back up.

Sometimes when I'm really really low and can't function and everything is a mess and a stressor comes on, THEN I can feel self hatred. But otherwise, no way!

[Umbral_Seraph]

I have a fair amount of self-hate, and I know in my case it's a symptom. It doesn't do anything to my ability to function though. I don't care if I hate me, just like I don't care if anyone else hates me.

[ladyjane4rent]

Do you believe your self-hate is the cause of your other emotional problems, or the other way around?

My therapist tells me that my social anxiety is from projecting my negative thoughts of myself onto others. Or something like that... So my self-hate causes my social anxiety, I always thought it was the other way around though.

If you've made it past self-hate, what techniques did you find helpful to get you through?

I drink. But I am not proud of it, so I am learning right now. I hope to find some tips in here.

[Kentarou Kawasaki]

I honestly can say I do not HATE anything in this world...

...except myself... my looks, my personality, my shyness, disorders, everything... I hate it more than I could ever put into words... I feel like a monsterous outcast...

[Switch]

I hate myself sometimes. I currently just don't like myself because I don't like who I am anymore. I've done things against my morals and that is hard to deal with. My solution is usually to come to terms with it, and prove to myself that I have learned my lesson, but that all comes with time.

Other times I hate myself because I'm depressed or being "manic and annoying" and can see how much it's hurting others... which I don't like doing.

And still other times I just hate myself because I have remarkably low self esteem.

I'd say I blame my problems for most of my self hate, or my problems as what made me do things that make me hate myself. It depends on the day.

[Rose76]

Self-hate would be a bit strong to describe my esteem issues. As an introvert, I kinda treasure my own company. But I do have my share of self-disgust from time to time. I guess that's a strong word, yet I feel it totally fits.

I was about to say that I think the emotional problems cause the self-loathing for me, but then that became real un-clear. So I think it's a vicious circle, and they feed on each other.

Here's what helps me. I totally believe in the sin-theory of human nature . . . that, as humans, we are born disposed to screw up and do things that a decent conscience should feel guilty about. Then I tell myself that I'm not the one who set it up that way. That kind of let's me off the hook . . . a bit. I conclude that I'm a sinner, but so is everyone else.

Another technique that I have helps limit the time I spend in fruitless remorse. I remind myself that I can not turn back the clock even one second . . . that is to say: I can not undo anything that has been done. I can not undo what I did five years ago, nor what I did five minutes ago. (It is recent stuff that I tend to feel the worst about. That's because it seems that what's recent should be retrievable and subject to a do-over. But it's not. Done is done.)

For me it's the opposite...my emotional problems are the cause of my self hate. Sometimes I'm not even sure why I hate myself so much...I just do. I've even had a dream crying telling a friend that I hate the person I am & how I don't like myself. In reality it's true...I don't like myself 8\

[konrei]

Always and will be.

I hate myself because there are more talented people out there and I will never be the same level as them. I don't have friends and they have more interesting things than I am and I'm more of a professional loser at this rate...

[Sabrina]

I don't always hate myself. Intellectually, I know I'm a good person. But I can't stand to look in the mirror and see my fat ugly body. That makes me hate myself and my weaknesses intensely!

[2bme]

Alway. Pathetic excuse for a human being. Don't know what came first - self hate or emotional problems.

[Melancolic]

Survivalism of self hate
Got me to this present date
Empty and void, all feeling's raped
Motivational speaking, not my fate
A terminal nihilism addiction
Self depriving in contradiction
Lost of all hopes and dreams
Down a hole of darkened screams
Pain so real it is physical
To the world wounds are invisible
Self destructive and hysterical
That i haven't killed myself yet is a miracle

How do i battle self hate?
that is the question i have asked myself over an over

Oh yes. Always. My therapist has tried to get me to "give myself credit" for the good things I do - such as getting work done, or doing chores at home. However, when I try to do that I always know that I'm lying to myself, which just adds to the self-hatred.

The worst thing about it, I think, is that it turns me into an unlikable person; I even do things to drive away those few really close friends I have, out of my ingrained belief that they only like me because they don't really know me that well.

It's stupid, I know. Which means I'm stupid. Which means I deserve to hate myself. Recursion, anyone?

[Lovehurtacceptance]

Originally Posted by SoFragile88

For me it's the opposite...my emotional problems are the cause of my self hate. Sometimes I'm not even sure why I hate myself so much...I just do. I've even had a dream crying telling a friend that I hate the person I am & how I don't like myself. In reality it's true...I don't like myself 8\

I know what you mean, you can just go on all day fine but then you get home and it hits you. You hate yourself, nothing in particular happened you just do. And there is nothing you can do about it. Just hate yourself and more emotional problem occur because of it.

[Rose76]

Something that helped me might help others here. I feel sorry for how bad some members feel about themselves. Get the movie - MOONSTRUCK (1987,) staring Cher and Nicolas Cage. Cage's character gives a magnificent speech on how HUMANS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE PERFECT, but are meant to screw up and become heart-broken, and he tells Cher's character to just embrace that because THAT'S LIFE.

In this speech, he says that STARS ARE MEANT TO BE PERFECT . . . SNOWFLAKES ARE MEANT TO BE PERFECT . . . but people are meant by some grand Cosmic design to foul up and get into messes. He says he accepts that and he wants her to accept that and stop trying to be perfect. (She is in love with Cage's character, but engaged to someone else and is all torn up about what to do.)

What Nicolas Cage says and the way he says it - so compellingly - is one of the best things I've ever seen or heard in a movie. It changed how I look at myself, and I'm not that into movies. This was really special. I recommend it highly.

[Sadness2011]

I have days where I just can't deal with it and so I just sit with my self-hate until the mood passes. I've always been made to feel like I don't deserve to exist since childhood, but I believe that I wouldn't be here if there wasn't a reason.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Buttercup.

Good thread Shez.

I sometimes hate myself and I think it comes from my childhood, I feel worthless, I was bullied at school too, was called ugly and fat and I guess that I still think this even though I am now an adult, My parents were no good either they were only interested in themselves most days, Never done anything about the bullying, I had no friends so I believed and still do what people say to me.

You are beautiful to me Buttercup.