I wish I could express what I'm feeling

I'm Just struggling today. I don't know why. I really really worry that this is just the way I am. Maybe I am just not cut out for life. Maybe I would rather whine and complain than get to work fixing what's wrong with me. I acutely feel how Alone each of us us in this world. Do I think too much? How do I get out of my own head? Am I perhaps too introspective? Or is my supposed introspection just a facade I put up to sound deep? Maybe I really am a loser who just doesn't deserve to go on.

Sorry annoyedgrunt you are feeling so worried and alone. Some people seek out professional help because with meds and therapy depression is more easily treatable.

There are lifestyle changes that some people use to help them cope.

Diet can have an affect how I feel. I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Here is what I use when my head gets over crammed with thoughts. Breathe in a natural way. Silently count one on the inhale and 2 on the exhale. 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 then go back to 1. This helps me focus on breathing rather than the wall of thoughts.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I have been trying to exercise, but it's such a mental battle with myself to keep myself going. I know my diet isn't what it could be but I have been watching calories in order to keep my weight down. I tried to set up an appointment with my GP to get back on meds but they are on vacation. So I can't get ahold of them until at least Monday. I found a kind of online counseling thing that's free. I have been having these mini-meltdowns lately a couple times a day.

I feel ya. It def helps to get outside of my own head. One of the ways I break the loop is to listen to a talk videos on youtube. I pick something I have a genuine interest in, that will teach me something new. Of course, all videos are not created equal and there is a lot of junk out there. It works for me because I can't really listen to someone else talk and still have that running self commentary in my head. I also like comedy videos. Nothing like a good laugh! I like stand-up comedians like Kevin Hart, Gabriele aka "fluffy" whatshisname, etc. There are some really funny channels that are less mainstream. I'm not even going to tell you the ones that I find funny because no doubt they'd be offensive to someone lol

I try to watch documentaries and such on YouTube but sometimes I keep right on ruminating while it's going on. I even ruminate while I'm running in the evenings. It's really frustrating.

do you have a hobbie? maybe that would help. i hope you can be seen too.

Yeah, I hear ya. It doesn't always work for me either. Mostly it does, but not always, depending on where my head's at. Music works for me too, especially if I'm listening to something good and also doing something. Forcing myself out among people, eeh that one's a little more hit or miss, depends on the people.

Yes I do have hobbies and I also would like to read many of the classics, but it's hard for me to focus when I'm anxious or depressed. I also have found myself deeply regretting the past. Looking back I see signs that I was having problems in my teen years, socially isolating myself, not having very intimate relationships, but I think my parents were just glad that I wasn't a problem child, they never thought, nor did I, that this might be a problem now or perhaps later on. I went to school ten miles away from my house in a completely different town so I didn't get to see my friends much on the weekends or during summers.

I wish I could too. Would make things easier.

Are you an only child? I am. By default, that meant I spent a lot of time alone compared to others as a child. Left to my own devices, I have a tendency toward isolation and have to be deliberate in countering that.

I totally get how hard it can be to focus on reading or something when the thoughts are going. That's when I have to force myself to do physical stuff, even if it's just around the house. At least that way I'm accomplishing something while I obsess. Otherwise, I end up feeling even worse.

You run, so obviously you're physically active. Do you like to play any sports? Have you considered joining some kind of sports league? It can feel a little awkward first couple times out being the new guy, but that's temp.

I've heard people say positive things about meet-up. I haven't tried that yet. I want to. It makes me nervous not knowing in advance what/who to expect. Part of it is because I've lived in a the same place for some time and even though there's a good size population around here, there's the possibility someone I already know could be part of that group. Sounds weird, but that would make me feel less comfortable, not more.

there are a lot of great suggestions here. I know each of us can find different things helpful, so I hope that you have found something or will find something soon.

Oddly, for me, I've found that coming to this site and seeing others struggling with some of the same issues helps. I don't feel so alone in how I'm feeling. Plus, I love to see the encouraging remarks. They may not be directed at me specifically, but I still find them helpful.

Regretting the past is a way to keep yourself feeling bad. It is a process the re-enforces bad feelings about yourself and life. Work on that Process with a Therapist, to break it for good.

I'm not an only child but my sister is 11 years older than me so she moved out when I was 7. My parents are out of town for the summer and my sister lives two hours away. I try to spend time with my neices when I can but it's a two hour drive so I don't get to very often. I live in the middle of nowhere in a town of barely a thousand people. Small and tight knit is great, unless you're the weird guy on the outs.

Oh wow, a thousand people; and I thought I lived in a small town! I'd have to move lol Of course, I've found wherever I go, there I am.. and therein lies the rub