I am struggling right now with coping and need support around it.

I cannot talk too much to my bf about it because I don't want to stress him out or burden him. And I only see my therapist every other week due to financial reasons.

I have written about the issue in the work forum, so I won't be redundant, but I don't know how to cope with all the emotions I am carrying.

I am very anxious, I am very stressed, I am uncertain and am filled with self-doubts each and every day. I have guilt and remorse for making what I think was a big mistake. This is all so uncomfortable & difficult to carry around with me all the time.

I've never been good at coping. I've never had strong coping mechanisms. I don't exercise much, and I know I should, but I come home from work at 6 PM exhausted. I don't belong to a gym nor can I afford one. I know I should probably take a half hour walk at lunch during work, but that's when I can text freely with my bf and talk to him during the work day, so I choose to do that instead, which is important to me.

Maybe I should try meditation exercises? That's the one thing I can think of that may help me at this time since I probably won't make myself exercise?

Anyone else know how to cope during a very stressful & anxious time in your life?

If I don't reply right away, it's because I am at work and can't. Thanks so much in advance for any support you can give around this.

[rechu]

I wish I knew. I've been under a lot of pressure too, mainly related to work (I posted about it in the work section) plus my living situation, so coping is so hard some days.

I have been trying to get out and walk, with the dogs if I can, and it does help a bit. My husband and I are also taking a few days off next week and getting out of town to a place that is very relaxing, so I hope that can help me unplug a bit. If it's not possible to get time off (I understand you haven't been on the job too long) then maybe just some urban exploring in your own city on the weekends, or a drive through a nice area will give you a bit of a change of scene and help you get your mind off things for a bit?


I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! Hugs!!

[atomicc]

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. I have been feeling a very similar way recently and I've been looking into things to help me. Relaxing with a nice bath and some good smelling bath salts. There are a lot of good meditation apps out there as well that can get you started on practicing.

I hope things get easier for you!

[Hobbit House]

I use meditation to try to relieve stress and anxiety. That with my meds helps a lot. I find 15 minutes twice a day works well for me.

[seesaw]

I know you want to prioritize the time texting with your boyfriend at lunch, but maybe, for now, that time would be better spent talking to someone who will actually give you support for your work situation, since you don't want to discuss that with him right now. You see him every night at home, and I know you like being able to text at lunch, but maybe the more important thing right now is your mental health?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I can relate. You can try meditation and see how it goes

[divine1966]

I am sorry you are struggling.

Some gyms are inexpensive but offer vide variety of options for group classes, which I find helpful.

People swear by meditation but I can’t relate. Doesn’t do it for me.

Do you have hobbies? I find hobbies to be very stimulating. I don’t mean hobbies as a consumer (liking to listen or watch something) but perhaps hobbies where you make something: draw or cook or build or sing etc

Also perhaps stimulating book club? Something to look forward to but isn’t pricey?

It seems like when you have a boyfriend, you have a tendency to make your whole life about him. I love my husband deerly and we exchange texts throughout a day but no way I’d spend my entire lunch time texting and talking to him.

Are there any coworkers you enjoy talking to? Some of my colleagues like to eat alone at lunch and then walk to recharge (which is fine), and some like me like eating with other people so we can chat and relax (talk about our families and interests) and sometimes blow some steam (complain to each other). Maybe making connections with coworkers would be a good thing for you? Will make your job more interesting?

If you spend your lunch with boyfriend, you don’t connect with others. But you can’t share what bothers you with your boyfriend. So your needs are not met yet you waste half an hour talking to him. What are you talking to him about and why is it urgent?

What does your t advice?

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I am struggling right now with coping and need support around it.

I cannot talk too much to my bf about it because I don't want to stress him out or burden him. And I only see my therapist every other week due to financial reasons.

I have written about the issue in the work forum, so I won't be redundant, but I don't know how to cope with all the emotions I am carrying.

I am very anxious, I am very stressed, I am uncertain and am filled with self-doubts each and every day. I have guilt and remorse for making what I think was a big mistake. This is all so uncomfortable & difficult to carry around with me all the time.

I've never been good at coping. I've never had strong coping mechanisms. I don't exercise much, and I know I should, but I come home from work at 6 PM exhausted. I don't belong to a gym nor can I afford one. I know I should probably take a half hour walk at lunch during work, but that's when I can text freely with my bf and talk to him during the work day, so I choose to do that instead, which is important to me.

Maybe I should try meditation exercises? That's the one thing I can think of that may help me at this time since I probably won't make myself exercise?

Anyone else know how to cope during a very stressful & anxious time in your life?

If I don't reply right away, it's because I am at work and can't. Thanks so much in advance for any support you can give around this.

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much Eve. I actually think that meditation could help you quite a lot. It helps me a lot. It does not make things all roses and sunshine all the time for me, but it has changed my life, actually. I can see how it would help you and the anxiety you struggle with because the point of meditation is to continually bring your thoughts back to either your breath, or a focal point. It can also be quite relaxing at times. Try Headspace. I also googled "Mindfulness App." The link is what I came up with. It seems like very good stuff. I have friends who use insight timer.

I also think it is wonderful that you can admit your "weakness" where it comes to coping skills. You can only go up from there. I definitely think that you can learn to strengthen them. Someday you could even have "Go-to" coping skills that you know really help you in times of crisis and deep stress. I am not at the top of my game either Some of my personal favorite coping skills are: distraction (taking my mind completely off my issue for a little while. for me, thats, reading a good book, watching tv or a movie, talking to someone else - not about my issue) , self soothing (taking a warm bath, listening to music that makes me feel better, doing things I enjoy that I know will soothe and make me feel better), mindfulness (usually meditation, but it can also be knitting, or just...BREATHING. Breathing actually really helps me).

Here's one more link for you: Find balance during a moment of panic

Thank u all!

I’m at lunch now. Funny thing is, I’d prefer to be alone at lunch right now. I am too anxious about work and am too new here to feel connected to my teammates. In time I’m sure I will be less so, but right now I want my alone time. I talk to my bf during lunch cos I really want to. I miss being able to talk or text with him all day like we used to. I also like to get on here and check in during lunch and use my vape away from ppl in privacy. So there’s all that.

My only real hobby is my blog, it’s sister fb page and going to see music.

I know that connecting with ppl at work more could help but I just can’t right now. Perhaps when I get home from work I can try some relaxation exercises or take a short walk. I do watch a lot of movies to relax. And distractions and eating out.

I need something, anything...and, yes, I do spend a lot of time with my bf and not much time 1:1 anymore with my friends. I do want to fix that soon.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thank u all!

I’m at lunch now. Funny thing is, I’d prefer to be alone at lunch right now. I am too anxious about work and am too new here to feel connected to my teammates. In time I’m sure I will be less so, but right now I want my alone time. I talk to my bf during lunch cos I really want to. I miss being able to talk or text with him all day like we used to. I also like to get on here and check in during lunch and use my vape away from ppl in privacy. So there’s all that.

My only real hobby is my blog, it’s sister fb page and going to see music.

I know that connecting with ppl at work more could help but I just can’t right now. Perhaps when I get home from work I can try some relaxation exercises or take a short walk. I need something, anything... yes, I do spend a lot of time with my bf and not much time 1:1 anymore with my friends. I do want to fix that soon.

Maybe you can do something that is kind of together with your boyfriend and kind of apart. We go to the same gym but we don’t do the same thing there. We aren’t in the same work out regiment, we usually aren’t even on the same floor, but we still walk (or drive) there together there and back.

[divine1966]

Honestly if you keep doing things the way you always do them, nothing will change. Whatever you are doing isn’t working for you yet you insist you will keep doing it because that’s what you want to do. But then things will not change.

Now saying that I can relate to not doing what needs to be done yet being resistant to change (like knowing I need to lose weight yet eating a piece of cake because I want to ugh). So you aren’t alone in this.

But we all know for things in our life to change, we got to do something to change them.

Originally Posted by divine1966

Honestly if you keep doing things the way you always do them, nothing will change. Whatever you are doing isn’t working for you yet you insist you will keep doing it because that’s what you want to do. But then things will not change.

Now saying that I can relate to not doing what needs to be done yet being resistant to change (like knowing I need to lose weight yet eating a piece of cake because I want to ugh). So you aren’t alone in this.

But we all know for things in our life to change, we got to do something to change them.

Well, honestly? My whole life has changed so nothing is the same! I moved out of my parents house after four years, I am on my own again, I am working full time again after a year of part time, I used to drink away my problems and now I do not, and I used to smoke cigs but now I vape! So a LOT has changed. The only thing that hasn't changed is my not exercising well.

Originally Posted by divine1966

Maybe you can do something that is kind of together with your boyfriend and kind of apart. We go to the same gym but we don’t do the same thing there. We aren’t in the same work out regiment, we usually aren’t even on the same floor, but we still walk (or drive) there together there and back.

Hmm... not a bad idea, though neither one of us likes the gym. I would like to maybe take a walk each day after work. He cannot really walk fast (due to physical pains), so it's something I could possibly do on my own, completely separate from him.

I just want to add: I sooo greatly appreciate everyone's responses, suggestions and input!!!!

IF I didn't reply to your suggestions, it does not mean I am ignoring it or not appreciating it. I wrote my reply at lunch very quickly so I couldn't reply to all. So I just want to thank everyone personally for replying to my post!!!

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Well, honestly? My whole life has changed so nothing is the same! I moved out of my parents house after four years, I am on my own again, I am working full time again after a year of part time, I used to drink away my problems and now I do not, and I used to smoke cigs but now I vape! So a LOT has changed. The only thing that hasn't changed is my not exercising well.

Sorry I didn’t mean that nothing changed in your life. Of course it did. You asked for help with coping strategies as you said you don’t cope well. I meant that maybe the way you cope needs to change, not other things in life.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hmm... not a bad idea, though neither one of us likes the gym. I would like to maybe take a walk each day after work. He cannot really walk fast (due to physical pains), so it's something I could possibly do on my own, completely separate from him.

Taking a walk is a great idea especially now before it gets cold. Put some headphones on and walk. He doesn’t need to walk with you. In fact it’s easier to walk alone as you set your own pace and don’t get distracted by conversations

Originally Posted by divine1966

Sorry I didn’t mean that nothing changed in your life. Of course it did. You asked for help with coping strategies as you said you don’t cope well. I meant that maybe the way you cope needs to change, not other things in life.

That's OK. Yes you are correct. The way I cope needs to change and has changed somewhat over the last year.

Originally Posted by divine1966

Taking a walk is a great idea especially now before it gets cold. Put some headphones on and walk. He doesn’t need to walk with you. In fact it’s easier to walk alone as you set your own pace and don’t get distracted by conversations

Yes, I think it's a great idea.