I have very low-esteem and I am full of self-doubt. This has affected all my life: socially, and professionally. Currently, I have no friends, and my old friends don't bother asking about me, although I have tried to reach out to them many times. Needless to say I have never been in any romantic relationship. I'm also currently unemployed.

I live in a complete isolation with no human interactions at all. I have retreated from all interactions in life because of my low-self esteem and disappointment in life. I cannot do anything to change my reality because my negative talking takes over my occasional motivation to do something. I am thinking maybe a new job can change my reality, but again employers don't consider my resume, and I have applied for hundreds of jobs.

Things become worse with time, and I don't see a light at the end of tunnel. I haven't gone out of my apartment since last Thursday when I went to buy some groceries. This is my life now. It's painful and meaningless.

[Yzen]

Disappointment can make it look like nothing can change and make us losing faith in ourselves. It is not the truth. Things change all the time...sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly. Don't give up. I hope things get better for you soon!

[fallaximago]

Whoa, that's very close to where my life has been at for years now. I think that the only thing I can do for you is offer you my friendship, you're not alone in this predicament, I'm searching for the "light" as well. Plus, Yzen is right. As long as we're alive we might get out of this, even though it's so difficult (for myself too) to believe in that.

Lucky dog. Many would love that opportunity. Although socializing through employment is a very natural and fulfilling feeling, there are other ways to involve yourself in the community. Find a local organization of your interest and participate in holiday events, or year-round volunteering. There are also many support groups, meet-up groups, and solo activities that could get you active and closer to your goals. I don't intend to make that process sound easy, because it is not for many, and something I struggle with myself

[MickeyCheeky]

((((Aimless Soul)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't know if it can help, but we're here to listen. It seems like you have problems of self-perception: could they be the reason why you're unable to make meaningful relationship? I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but maybe you need to work on that aspect. Do you see a therapist? Can you afford it? I'm sorry you have to go through this

[KD1980]

I'm sorry you're suffering. I can relate to everything you said. When my self esteem gets low, I remind myself about all the good things about myself. Things I accomplished, good things about me, it can be things that are internal. For example, I remind myself that I don't hurt other people, I am kindhearted, generous, and considerate. It's difficult to see who we truly are when we think our lives are meaningless.

I try to find things that make me happy and I do them. Currently I read a book a week and I make soap. I also follow news about the British Royal family and I like looking at what Kate Middleton wears to events. These are small things that cost nothing and I can do them at home. My loneliness is easier to bear when I seek out things that make me happy. Once I feel happier, I start to work on my self doubt and self esteem. It's tougher to confront that when you're unhappy.

Thanks all. I appreciate the posts. It's not easy to get out of this rabbit hole. I've tried for many years. The hope is pretty much non existent. The negative self-talk defeats me every time. For example, after a number of weeks not applying for a job, I one day would be charged to try again, and I send out a number of applications, but then I receive rejection letters if anything at all, and that is enough to knock me down again, and to trigger the self-defeating talk that I'm worthless to everyone in this world. This is also true when I reach out to others, and faced with cold interactions. I feel everyone is treating me like I am an extra burden to them. And when I try to improve myself by reading/doing something, I quickly give up, because I would be full of doubt that I would never succeed in achieving anything worthy. This is how I live my life everyday. I don't have confidence in myself at all. I don't talk to people because I think I would say something stupid, and then they would know I am worthless.

[BLUEDOVE]

Nothing will change until you do something different. I have
been where you are,and then I read some books by expert in
self-esteem,Nathaniel Branden. I don't care if you have to starve for a week or 2,buy some of his books.I recommend
these: "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem",and "Honoring The Self"--you might get them second hand to save cash.It will be huge investment in dear self.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

Originally Posted by Aimless Soul

I have very low-esteem and I am full of self-doubt. This has affected all my life: socially, and professionally. Currently, I have no friends, and my old friends don't bother asking about me, although I have tried to reach out to them many times. Needless to say I have never been in any romantic relationship. I'm also currently unemployed.

I live in a complete isolation with no human interactions at all. I have retreated from all interactions in life because of my low-self esteem and disappointment in life. I cannot do anything to change my reality because my negative talking takes over my occasional motivation to do something. I am thinking maybe a new job can change my reality, but again employers don't consider my resume, and I have applied for hundreds of jobs.

Things become worse with time, and I don't see a light at the end of tunnel. I haven't gone out of my apartment since last Thursday when I went to buy some groceries. This is my life now. It's painful and meaningless.

My apologies and I am truly sorry to hear about your struggles with relationships, self-esteem and unemployment. When I first read your post, I assumed financially capability and a sort of retreat from the world for a while. That, to me, would be bliss. A chance to catch up on books I want to read, reflect on philosophy and past relationships (a few I should have rejected, and others worth remembering), learn a new cooking technique (a bigger, better, badder grilled cheese sandwich with fried tomatoes and gourmet olives) and maybe start up a new craft, hobby or tech work. Self talk is one of the most powerful influences in our lives. Improving your self talk is a great way to begin a journey of self-awareness and progression to add meaning to your life

Thanks for the suggestions. I need some energy to do anything, which I don't have these days. No, I am unemployed, and struggle financially. The anxiety and fear levels are high that I cannot think about or do anything. All I can do is applying for jobs, and hoping I can land a job soon. This is all what I am thinking about. I know maybe I need to work on my self-esteem and self-image to get a job and make recruiters/employers trust me, but I just ... cannot.