I have dealt with a feeling of deep emptiness all my life. I recently read that this can be caused by childhood emotional neglect. I certainly grew up with that. Just wondering if anyone else has a recurring feeling of emptiness? If so, how do you manage it? Did you ever find a way to let go of it or begin to feel whole or complete? If you have not found something to help, please feel free to share anyway. It's an awful lonely feeling. Not something I feel comfortable discussing in the non-PC world.

[LadyShadow]

I have to say I felt this way for a very long time. The way I combatted it is doing things I love - (writing/blogging about it is great because you get to let it all out), finding things that make you feel good - a new game to get immersed in, a new show to make you laugh, bubbles baths, burning incense and my all time favorite- music, music, music!

Also, anything social you can get yourself involved in - a group for art lovers, animal lovers, you know whatever you are interests are.

I guess what I am saying is the way I filled the emptiness in my life is I filled it with things that made me happy and what made me feel good.

Also, I have to say, cleaning or changing your surroundings can really impact your sense of self.

Good luck! (Oh I also, LOVE Amy Schumer).

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

I have to say I felt this way for a very long time. The way I combatted it is doing things I love - (writing/blogging about it is great because you get to let it all out), finding things that make you feel good - a new game to get immersed in, a new show to make you laugh, bubbles baths, burning incense and my all time favorite- music, music, music!

Also, anything social you can get yourself involved in - a group for art lovers, animal lovers, you know whatever you are interests are.

I guess what I am saying is the way I filled the emptiness in my life is I filled it with things that made me happy and what made me feel good.

Also, I have to say, cleaning or changing your surroundings can really impact your sense of self.

Good luck! (Oh I also, LOVE Amy Schumer).

Thank you LadyShadow. I think I do a lot of the things you suggested. I seek some happiness and peace each day and usually find ways to create it. Still the emptiness persists. However, I am not involved in a group....so your suggestion there could be exactly what I need. I do have a loving partner but I moved away from my family (that's a good thing) and I spend quite a bit of time alone.

It's strange sometimes. Earlier this evening I was fine...did a lot of chores, was laughing at something funny on TV etc. Then the old gnawing emptiness crept in anyway. I honestly remember feeling that way even as a very young child. It's as though I live on my own planet. It's a nice planet, there is a lot to do and think about. But it's still a separate planet from everyone else.

May I ask about why you used to feel empty? Did you grow up with a dysfunctional or abusive family? If you are not comfortable sharing that, no problem. Thank you very much for responding to my thread.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

Thank you LadyShadow. I think I do a lot of the things you suggested. I seek some happiness and peace each day and usually find ways to create it. Still the emptiness persists. However, I am not involved in a group....so your suggestion there could be exactly what I need. I do have a loving partner but I moved away from my family (that's a good thing) and I spend quite a bit of time alone.

It's strange sometimes. Earlier this evening I was fine...did a lot of chores, was laughing at something funny on TV etc. Then the old gnawing emptiness crept in anyway. I honestly remember feeling that way even as a very young child. It's as though I live on my own planet. It's a nice planet, there is a lot to do and think about. But it's still a separate planet from everyone else.

May I ask about why you used to feel empty? Did you grow up with a dysfunctional or abusive family? If you are not comfortable sharing that, no problem. Thank you very much for responding to my thread.

Oh I am so glad you made this thread because I relate to it so much! I had an abusive father so I left home at 16. But that's not where the emptiness came from - I was an only child growing up so I had a lot of time on my "own planet" too and I was so happy on it!

I think for me, after I got diagnosed with bipolar 15 years ago, (long story short an irresponsible doctor pushed pills on me causing my very first psychotic manic episode which led to years of hospitalizations), so for me I have felt out of place for a VERY long time because I never had a mental illness my whole life before that horrible doctor did what he did. So naturally, all my friends abandoned me because I was "out of control" but it wasn't my fault because honestly I never recovered from all the psychosis that followed that day at the doctor. I mean, I can be stable for a years and then I just "snap" and everything I built gets destroyed. SO, the loneliness follows.

But, I do have a few friends that stuck by me, and a great guy in my life, (who actually visited and spent Christmas Day in a ward with me one time). But you see, I miss all the groups I made, especially the Star Trek group I made on Twitter, (they all have me blocked now). So ALL of that adds to my loneliness.

However, these days I fill my life with things that I love - and I talk to my guy every night for comfort. BUT, when I feel that loneliness creeping in, I actually go to chat sites and forums and play games or talk in chat. I don't know how you feel about that, but places like Reddit, and Wireclub, Meetme, are social hangouts online so maybe try those out before you venture out too far.

Also, the classic go-to is MeetUps.com because that way you can find others that have your interests where you live and maybe make some real life friends. In the mean time, if you want to talk to me I'm always here : )

[Mopey]

I try to hold still with it. Let it be OK. Not think. It may be uncomfortable, but it won't kill you. Eventually it will change, as everything in life does.

I'm so sorry you're feeling empty, SilverTrees. Yes, I have felt empty before. What helps me, is occupying my mind and myself w things I like. But honestly even just accomplishing a goal like housework helps too. What fulfills you and gives you purpose? Do you know? If not, start there.

[KD1980]

Hi,

I experience this too. I agree with LadyShadow. I try to do things that make me happy. Even if they are small things. For example, I really enjoy afternoon tea. I can't always afford it, so I'm going to purchase a 3 tier stand and have an afternoon tea experience at home. I started buying little cakes and containers of chicken salad and egg salad to make sandwiches. I may do this once a week to have something to look forward to.

I also write about my feelings in a journal. It helps to get it out.

I too have such feelings of emptiness, that come and go all the time. Like LadyShadow and KD1980 I try doing things that make me feel more fulfilled. Oftentimes the emptiness is accompanied by feelings of either apathy or inadequacy. If it's apathy I try things that will raise my energy like listening to upbeat music, dancing, playing with our dog, or certain types of meditation. If I'm feeling useless then I'll try getting immersed in a project (I love researching family history and history of NYC), organizing and cleaning, or gardening. At some level though I've always felt empty, even during the best times. I too wonder if it's because of past childhood experiences.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, SilverTrees I completely understand what you mean! I completely agree with what all the wonderful people on this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can! I completely agree with all of you! I'd suggest to keep looking for new hobbies and anything that you may like to do in your free time like you're already wonderfully doing! Just try to give some meaning and purpose to your days! Just take all the time you need! Just take it one step at the time! Just take baby steps! No need to hurry! Just try to find as many distraction as you can! Anything that may help you get through the day! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! I'm sure you'll be able to get through these bad feelings you're having! Things CAN and WILL get better! I promise you that! Of course we're all here for you if you need support! We'll always be here for you and we'll never abandon you! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want! You know we'll never judge you! I promise you that! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, SilverTrees! Believe in yourself! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself the same way we all believe in you! You're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down! Please remember that! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all certainly, not you! Stay strong! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! Keep fighting! You're a strong, wonderful person! We all know that! I'm sure you know it as well even if it's deep down! Please remember that!

[Have Hope]

Hi, I used to feel that way growing up myself. I wonder, Silver Trees, do you have some close friendships? I find all of the above to be extremely helpful in filling any kind of emptiness, ie, doing things I love and enjoy, and doing things that give me a sense of purpose and belonging, but beyond that, I find that having close friendships is also very fulfilling and fills any kind of void I may feel. We can have a loving partner, but we also needs good friends, especially girlfriends we can chat about womanly stuff with. New friendships can also be nurtured and formed at any stage of life, as well, I have found. I just discovered a new group of friends in the last year myself. Anyways, I hope you find ways to fill the emptiness you feel and wishing you all the best!!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

I have dealt with a feeling of deep emptiness all my life. I recently read that this can be caused by childhood emotional neglect. I certainly grew up with that. Just wondering if anyone else has a recurring feeling of emptiness? If so, how do you manage it? Did you ever find a way to let go of it or begin to feel whole or complete? If you have not found something to help, please feel free to share anyway. It's an awful lonely feeling. Not something I feel comfortable discussing in the non-PC world.

I feel like this all the time! You are not alone!

[Miss P]

All I had to add is, oh, yes....I've felt this way as well, for a very long time indeed. It's thanks to you Guys, Pc, things are making a lot of sense for me, like never before. An old herapist touched briefly on the subject, but, backed off when I tried to go deeper into it. My family have made it abundantly clear, I chat rubbish, for most of my life. Not all, but robustly enough....needless to say, I'll never bring up any suspicions I have, about the fact that, imo, I believe our family, have been plagued with CEN for generations. I digress, thanks for letting me vent. I've distanced myself from a lot of people in my life....not quite sure that's dealing, it works for me.

Thank you for this post! Hugs and all the best x

Originally Posted by Miss P

All I had to add is, oh, yes....I've felt this way as well, for a very long time indeed. It's thanks to you Guys, Pc, things are making a lot of sense for me, like never before. An old herapist touched briefly on the subject, but, backed off when I tried to go deeper into it. My family have made it abundantly clear, I chat rubbish, for most of my life. Not all, but robustly enough....needless to say, I'll never bring up any suspicions I have, about the fact that, imo, I believe our family, have been plagued with CEN for generations. I digress, thanks for letting me vent. I've distanced myself from a lot of people in my life....not quite sure that's dealing, it works for me.

Thank you for this post! Hugs and all the best x

I can relate to this. I have looked back and analyzed multiple generations in my family to understand why my parents were so woefully inept.

I am very curious as to why your therapist avoided a deeper discussion?? Do you know why?

My therapist (in the past) said I never developed a sense of "constancy" when I was a young child and that is where the disconnect came from. I don't know. She also never explained it in any depth or talked about strategies to develop constancy in adulthood. Perhaps that's no possible so they don't get into it? I have no idea. If this rings a bell with anyone, feel free to jump in.

Also, Miss P, thank you for sharing your truth. It helps me. If you don't feel like elaborating on your other post, no problem Entirely up to you though I'd love to discuss further.

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I feel like this all the time! You are not alone!

Thank you Buffy. I'm sorry you feel that way...it's a very unpleasant feeling. Peace and hope to you!

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by SilverTrees

...it's a very unpleasant feeling.

Hi Silver Trees. I was thinking more about this. I, too, was emotionally neglected in my childhood. I learned in my adult years to feed myself all the love and affirmation I never received as a child. I worked on my self-esteem and on feeding it.

Now I realize that may not seem to relate to a sense of emptiness, but it's what helped me to fill that void, in addition to all that I mentioned previously.

The void for me I think had to do with not feeling truly loved or appreciated for who I am. So I learned to love and appreciate myself, and that love grew over the years. It did take therapy, which helped, but I also worked on it by myself for a long time.

I think when we can truly love ourselves, we feel more full, within ourselves and within our lives. Kind of like a spiritual level of "fullness".

I could be totally off-based here since I am relating my own sense of emptiness to yours, and yours could be very different than mine, but since you mentioned childhood neglect, it dawned on me that I had gone through the same thing as a kid.

Just some food for thought!!! HUGS!

TIPS FOR RECOVERING FROM EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

How to Recognize and Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect

So what can you do if you think you may have been emotionally neglected as a child? Here are some tips:

1. Learn to be aware of positive and negative emotions when you're experiencing them.

If you've spent your adult life being disconnected from your feelings, the first step is to learn to identify positive and negative emotion. It's important to acknowledge just good and uncomfortable feelings to begin with.

Once you have that down, you can focus on noting subtler nuances of feelings. You may not even have words for how you feel, which is perfectly normal if you didn't grow up in a home where people talked about their feelings.

2. Identify your needs, and take steps to meet them.

Many adults who experienced emotional neglect as children are often unaware of what they need and typically don't feel deserving of getting their needs met. Develop your emotional vocabulary by researching emotions and needs online or at the library. Once you know what you need, it's time to take action.

3. If you believe you don't deserve to have your needs met, acknowledge the belief and see it as just that: a belief, not a fact.

It can be helpful to begin to deconstruct old beliefs you've held for a long time that may no longer hold true. Like everyone else on the planet, you have emotional needs that you deserve to have met, no matter what you experienced in childhood.

4. Be gentle with and take good care of yourself, starting with small steps.