How are you coping today? #3

I'm ''ok'' in this moment..

I feel yuk,I feel really unwell,high sugars and binging....not my finest hour,so very sick!
I don't have the energy to use the keyboard to be honest just lack energy and feel so thirsty,sleepy,as if I can't breathe
and I feel so very heavy and bloated.I've stayed off the sugar today.

I still feel ill and disgusting after a binge eating session.......I got rejected by a fella on a dating site.....was prevented from visiting my mum in her care home,I had a visit booked today but they cancelled it cos two staff members of the care home tested positive for covid...........I also feel so ill from high sugars that I am unable to attend for a blood test tomorrow.I think I will be well enough for the trip to the cinema with my niece and the meal at the restaurant after...hope the restaurant isn't too busy with long queues to get in.I am ok cos I know if I stay off the sugar and eat healthy I will lose weight and my health will improve especially if I exercise regular too,at this time my eyes are damaged from diabetes,I have high cholestrol,high blood pressure,hypothyroidism,diabetes and am obese and so cannot walk far as I am so heavy.....I am also ugly and really unfit,so not a desirable match for anyone.But I can change that.

I keep telling myself that God has given me all the knowledge and skills to get over these eating disorder behaviours and sugar addictions.I just have to abstain and quit sugar,beat the addiction work on my fears,shame and guilt improve my self esteem and confidence and acknowledge and heal the wounds of abuse from living for years with an abusive narcissistic family.Easy isn't it?Not,but doeable,yes!

I’m coping really well today. I had group which was the best group so far. I was very relaxed the whole time and participating a lot. This was my 5th group so far and I feel like I’m getting the hang of things. I had some bad anxiety but I am going to try really hard to ditch the caffeine. I’ve been drinking a lot of black tea and iced tea and diet Coke. But I need to just really watch that and maybe not eat Oreos for lunch and I should be able to do much better. But today went good and I can see what I need to work on. I do miss one on one therapy a ton.

Listening & imagining with really wonderful music.

I had a difficult day physically,I felt so ill and I am struggling tonight it's 1.30am and I am having difficulty again getting to sleep,will have a shower see if that helps relax me.
I will browse my forums a bit yet though before I go to the bathroom and beack to bed.

It gets so stressful and i get physically and mentally ill when I have a binge and eat the bad foods.I usually recover after staying off the sugar and feeling much better I forget the bad health I go through and think I can eat bad foods again and get tempted and I always buy stuff I shouldn't binge eat it and end up ill again,its a vicous cycle that makes its so hard cos I get severelly I mean severely depressed and unable to function ususally.I MUST NOT FORGET that eating bad stuff DAMAGES my health.

I have been off the sugars and bad food one and a half days now,and my sugars are down to 217mg from 468mg,better but they need to come down more.

planning the snow-couple that I will build tomorrow

I'm working on a project. It's keeping me entertained. I'm enjoying myself.

I’m doing ok and coping well. I only took one .5 Xanax instead of the usual 2 milligrams I had been taking for a few weeks. So that’s a big improvement. But I’m just doing what I should be doing and benefiting from it.

It's been three days off the sugar,I feel better mentally and physically.I had a better day too,I enjoyed myself.I ate lunch at the cafe and dinner at Wagamama with my niece.
I ate squid,miso soup,steak noodles and drank water and had a coffee,no sugary juices or dessert.My niece had squid,miso soup,steak noodles,apple,spinach and pineapple juice,chocolate brownie and ice creme dessert with caramel sauce and we both had coffee.It was really nice!Also my niece and I caught up on each other's news and bonded more.
After the meal we went next door to the Odeon to watch the Wonder Woman 1984 film,that was a real treat and we both said how much we enjoyed it.
I am home now my niece went home,we had tea at my place first and my niece had mince pie and biscuits with hers.

I am just resting now catching up with the forum and got the news on tv.
I feel much better and am really positive about my health and the future.

My niece messaged me when she got home to say she had a really good time today and she also told me that she loves me lots.
So I am happy and content tonight.

I just read a post on facebook about how pharmacutical companies structure their business to hand out drugs the same way drug dealers do.I replied I agree and told them how the doctors encourage us to take more and more drugs and stay ill, like them giving me insulin for diabetes which increases your appetite and makes you eat more sugary foods not less gain weight and make your sugar levels worse,they give you tablets that keep you diabetic.I finally learnt that stopping the addiction to sugar can cure me totally reverse the diabetes,the nurses and doctors don't want to do that,they work for the drug companies and want to keep you hooked on the drugs.

I had a astronomy cancer reading today to tell me what I need to clean out of my life.

That's interesting Buffy,do you mind sharing what the reading told you to clean out,I am really interested to learn more?

I'm not coping well. I just had a medical appointment. It was awful. And now the sun has gone down and I've not been able to relax today. The only thing I have to look forward to is just going to bed. The night will drag out for over 12 hours. I'm really not in a good mood.

I am still up,it is almost 2am, I am getting tired.I am going to have a slice of buttered toast before bed.
I hope I can get to sleep and not toss and turn for hours.I feel thirsty and have a strong craving for sugar,but it will pass,I'm not going to have any sugar.

I slept for a few hours. Now I'm up coping with pain in my wrist. I don't remember my last injection hurting so much. Maybe I will try to go back to bed.

I have Covid-19. My saliva test was positive after 7 days of symptoms. I’m on Day 9 as of today (Saturday). My anxiety is through the roof.

I am feeling better physically,my blood sugars came down but it went up again today,I ate a turkey sandwich with cranberry sauce in it and I think the cranberry sauce had a lot of sugar in it....its so important to check the labels for how much sugar in a food.

I got back from buying salad stuff and fruit and changed my clothes and rested,then cleaned a couple of drawers in the kitchen out.Now I am resting but I have washing up to do before bed and clean recycling tins and sort,put dishes away,mop kitchen floor.But before then I am resting,gonna watch tv the final of the ballroom dancing competition and after that a quiz show,after that get the stuff in the kitchen done.

Tomorrow I plan to vacumn,clean walls,skirtings,doors,clean patio doors glass.Iron new net curtains and hang them up,iron clean tablecloth and put it on table,and put my small christmas tree which sits on the table up!It will feel christmas y then.Before bed tonight I am going to clean the fabric on the sofa.Also tomorrow got laundry to do and wash the throws on the sofa and dry then keep them clean for our xmas day when my niece comes for her dinner.

I always make an effort for xmas for my niece cos she really loves when I make it christmasy.I got some crackers ordered that have women's jewelry inside with hats and jokes,I ordered them yesterday and they were dispatched first class today so they will come before xmas and also I ordered a tshirt for me to wear on our xmas day it has snoopy and peanuts wearing xmas hats.I am excited now.I got to do the xmas food shop on tuesday,that's gonna be tiring but I will get it done and get it home unpack it and after that I don't have to go anywhere or do much, on the 23rd,24th and 25th and 26th december,I rest, watch TV cook for myself and On the 27th is when my niece is coming and we are doing xmas day.

So as you can tell I am coping quite well,am recovering from being physically ill cos of my sugar binge 3 days ago.I am resolved to not eat sugar again so that's how I am going into the new year 2021 positive for my future health and expecting a big weight loss and for my blood sugars to come down to normal.

Yesterday was good for me,I had a pleasant and enjoyable day,started off at the cafe,last day before it closed for eating in and goes into takeaway only mode cos of covid,I had lunch there.Later on I met my niece we caught up and bonded over dinner at Japanese restaurant Wagamama,stayed off fruit juices and sugar desserts or cocktails.Then we had a wonderful time watching the new Wonder Woman 1984 film at the cinema,it's a really good,thrilling film we so enjoyed it!Then we came home and drank a cup of tea,my niece had mince pies,I just has the cup of tea to drink and we watch tv until my niece left to go home.Throughly enjoyed it all made a change to have a whole day that was pleasurable.

I’m just trying to keep busy today. I was kind of down earlier this morning. I took a walk and got my laundry done and took a couple Xanax. I haven’t had any SI or SH thoughts today. I had some kind of strong ones last night but I just waited for them to pass which they did.

I know there aren’t groups on weekends but I kind of wish I had at least one today. I really miss the 1 on 1 support but it is nice to have groups too.m

I am more optimistic about the future then I was at this time last year. Last Christmas I felt scared and uneasy because I thought something really bad would happen in 2020 but I didn’t know what would happen.

Today was good I felt like I achieved what I wanted to do,I got chores done,put my new tablecloth on table and sat the christmas tree on it and decorated the tree.
It looks nice and feels christmasy ,I also ironed my new net curtains and hung them up,then I vacumned and did the washing up and put the dishes and pots and pans away and sorted the recycling.I also bought the wrapped christmas presents downstairs in carrier bags and put them in the corner of the room and I will put them under the tree on the day my niece comes for us to do xmas day.

I enjoyed making the house look nice,I had fish pie for dinner.I also washed the throws for the sofa,I will spread them out on our christmas day on the sofa and also put the new cushions that I bought .I relaxed tonight and watched my favourite tv shows.

It's been good also I spoke to my mum in her care home over the phone,we are not allowed to visit due to covid,she was upset about that but I told her as soon as it's permitted I will visit her,and also I spoke to my aunt.

Tomorrow I am going to wash the walls,skirtings and doors in the hall area....do a face wax and have my shower ,ready for Tuesday, when I will go withdraw money and go do the food shop for xmas.

I did well today coped OK.

I’m doing good today. I’m relaxed and not anxious.

I'm trying to problem solve tonight about things that have me worried. But I think I will take a break and try to relax for a while.

Coping better today. All week I was terrified..........it was like a lion was in the room......I could not stop being afraid

I understand very well. I hope it get better for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats o.k. that you are just getting by...I think most of us feel that way. I certainly do...I am having a difficult time sometimes. Its hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At times, my sadness and anxious thoughts about a family member who has been kicked out again takes hold and overwhelms me. I paid to put them in a hotel for a week so at least they will not be homeless for the holidays. Will be looking for a longer term place today but that they don't see that they contributed to the incident that led to their being kicked out makes it harder to help them. It is a problem that I have been dealing with for years. So far, the only good that I see from all of it is that I am dealing with it better than before. I pray all the time about it. That helps.