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  #276  
Old Jun 01, 2021, 07:15 AM
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I'm okay but a little anxious about a friend who is having medical tests. You're just muddling along then something like this comes along and really pulls you up sharp. This afternoon I think I'll go for a walk to take my mind off it.
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  #277  
Old Jun 01, 2021, 08:37 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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I started on the DBT workbook. I discussed with my h each item on the checklist at the start of the book in detail; how I was before him, how I am aside from the relationship with him, and how I am in reaction to the relationship with him. Basically, the DBT will have to teach me to tolerate his very triggering behavior and not react badly to it. I’m not sure how I feel about this or what I want anymore. Ambivalence.
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  #278  
Old Jun 01, 2021, 02:14 PM
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I’ve been coping well today. That PMDD sucked though. Today was the first time I haven’t been moody in about 8 days. It’s like a light switch when it’s over and I can function normally and not be an asshole to everyone. It’s how I know it’s just PMDD. I do wish there was something to lessen it since it does suck to feel crappy 10 days out of the month. But my doctor said only surgery would get rid of it. So I’m trying to figure out how to manage. This month was a lot worse than usual though. I wonder if my Covid vaccine played a role in it. I thought I heard on the news that the vaccine can mess with that.
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  #279  
Old Jun 01, 2021, 05:53 PM
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I'm resting a lot today and texting family. I got really sick this morning from my stress test. The IV medicine made me nauseous and tired. I also had a caffeine withdrawal migraine.
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  #280  
Old Jun 01, 2021, 07:26 PM
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I guess I'm coping ok. Just sorry I didn't do all the things I wanted to do.
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  #281  
Old Jun 02, 2021, 04:02 PM
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I was having trouble this morning. Not with my visible moods but I was just anxious. But I changed out of my hoodie and heavy jeans and I put on shorts and a T shirt. Then I opened my window and turned on the fan. I took a second Xanax around 1 and I took my 3rd one 45 minutes ago. I also took my other meds and I feel a lot better then I did this morning. I think I was having a hot flash from my hormones and anxiety from not sleeping well.
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  #282  
Old Jun 02, 2021, 04:56 PM
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Once again, I haven't done what I wanted to do, mostly due to some stressful curve balls, but I guess I'm coping anyway.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
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  #283  
Old Jun 02, 2021, 05:50 PM
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I had a nice relaxing day and a phone chat with a friend which was wonderful and uplifting.
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  #284  
Old Jun 02, 2021, 09:21 PM
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I've been deceived. So I don't feel all that well emotionally. I tried distracting myself with a game. That helped a little bit. I may take a shower and do some chores. I'll probably stay up late.
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  #285  
Old Jun 02, 2021, 10:43 PM
modestlychee6463 modestlychee6463 is offline
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am very glad this day is over with and hoping for a better day where I can do what I planned to do and get more done tomorrow.
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  #286  
Old Jun 03, 2021, 01:11 AM
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I really stressed and disappointed. I may take a PRN.
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‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #287  
Old Jun 03, 2021, 01:44 AM
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Woke up earlier than I would prefer. No classes today, two tomorrow. My grading assignment ended Friday. I was assigned two projects but was kept on the first project for an additional amount of time in order to help wrap it up. The director of the project said I was a very accurate scorer and I feel like it was a case of being kept on that first project two extra weeks because I was doing a good job but it resulted in missing an opportunity for a 4 week assignment (that would have started two weeks ago). Perhaps it is all for the best, yesterday, I am struggled with sadness and worry about a family member but that is a never ending story for my husband and me. I fear a bad ending and am trying to think positively and be more proactive in some way (something that is hard to figure out when the family member doesn't trust us or want help). Also, sometimes when I have tried to help, it just made everything worse. However, I still feel like it is right to keep reaching out, it is just that I am more cautious about it now. For those of you who are familiar with the drama, please pray for a good ending. I am praying all the time for a miracle.
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  #288  
Old Jun 03, 2021, 09:44 AM
modestlychee6463 modestlychee6463 is offline
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I feel the same. I don't know why I try to help. It seems like a never ending dead road with nothing to show for it.like living for nothing.
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  #289  
Old Jun 03, 2021, 02:14 PM
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Doing okay despite having a sciatica flare up. Took anti inflammatory and that helped. Sunshine and warmth is also helping too.
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  #290  
Old Jun 03, 2021, 02:15 PM
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I'm coping with DBT and CBT. I feel good today. I might be a little stressed about chores, but I am trying my best. I might take a PRN to chill out.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #291  
Old Jun 04, 2021, 02:43 PM
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Gasplessy Gasplessy is offline
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Terrible evening
Cried in front of my poor mother
I look at the past when people were still there and I just cant believe at what beast i've been
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  #292  
Old Jun 04, 2021, 05:49 PM
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Today has been very difficult. I might try REST and distraction to cope.
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‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #293  
Old Jun 04, 2021, 06:58 PM
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Not very well. But I'm not giving up.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
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  #294  
Old Jun 05, 2021, 06:27 AM
poshgirl poshgirl is offline
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Mixed emotions today.

Just done Covid test; negative. So that's not reason why I feel so rubbish.

Another fraught conversation with mother earlier, after another 15 minutes of her not drawing breath and saying she doesn't know why I don't want any contact with her, she terminated call. Not before turning on tears and calling me everything horrible because I don't care about her.

"Damned if you do and damned if you don't"
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  #295  
Old Jun 05, 2021, 04:00 PM
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I am coping well today but I am so tired from everything. I also feel a bit guilty I stayed in the car for my cousins baby shower. But I am a mess when I stand up and I didn’t want people to be concerned about me and take anything away from my cousin. An aunt I haven’t seen in almost 2 years stopped by the car and she was super nice and it made me feel good that she was accepting. But I’m managing my pain fine. It’s ok as long as I’m sitting down. My meds were screwed up these last 3 days. I couldn’t take some stuff yesterday morning. Then I forgot to bring stuff for last night. Then I was concerned about mixing things together. But I’m finally getting back on track with them.
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  #296  
Old Jun 06, 2021, 01:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut View Post
Woke up earlier than I would prefer.
I think I had one 7-8 hour sleep night since writing this but lately have been sleeping 5-6 hours a night. Mostly feel fine anyways but need to cut down on the caffeine. Of course the first two cups in the morning don't count! Praying for everyone posting here about their struggles. I hope today is a good day for all of you!
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  #297  
Old Jun 06, 2021, 01:20 AM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Oh my I seem to be in a manic episode. Triggered by work, relationship and family stress. I feel super depressed, can’t wind down, want to make changes.

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  #298  
Old Jun 06, 2021, 01:54 PM
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I'm trying to cope with DBT and CBT. I took my PRN this afternoon. I'm doing a few chores. Have to fix myself something to eat soon. I guess I'm doing okay.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #299  
Old Jun 07, 2021, 01:37 PM
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I’m trying not to be too needy so I’m doing a lot on my own. But getting around is still tough and I feel bad asking my mom to make me soup or get me water or stuff. So I’ve either been managing on my own or just skipping stuff altogether. I just don’t want to be a burden on her. If I just sit in bed with my ice I’m ok and not in too much pain.
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  #300  
Old Jun 08, 2021, 01:10 PM
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I think I did too much today. I went out to the gas station then did a lot of cleaning. I moved around a lot and the right side of my chest hurt really badly so I took a pain killer a few minutes ago and now I’m just kinda spacey. I need to learn to not do too much at one time now and also learn to manage my pain correctly. This is only the 5th pain pill I took since I got it filled on Friday, and Saturday and Sunday were very bad pain wise.
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