How are you coping today? #4

cinnamonsun · Nov 11, 2021, 11:33 PM

Someone here triggered and upset me so I'm dealing with the whirlwind of emotions, my embarrassment, shame, and guilt. I need to step away from here for a while. The things I really need support with no one seems to answer or understand. So I have a better chance of coping and understanding on my own. Working with my therapist. I always feel like I'm too different to really fit in anywhere. So, I will say thank you for the lessons. Peace.

SprinkL3 · Nov 12, 2021, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I didn’t sleep well at all. Then I had sudden stomach issues this morning. I had a major freak out with my mom and I was like begging her to do something for my anxiety. And of course she has no idea what to do. We have already called the endocrinologist and went for labs and we have already left a message for my Pdoc. So I set up an extra therapy session. I had my hopefully last post op appointment which went decently but I’m still not completely healed even though it’s at the 6 week time frame. I’m just taking a longer time to heal. So I have another 2 weeks of restrictions. My anxiety somewhat calmed down after my appointment. Basically I think the most important think is getting my lab work results back and seeing what my endocrinologist can do for me. I think it’s an issue only he can fix. Because I feel like if 5 Valium aren’t working then there’s something bigger going on.

I mean even if I try something stupid like keep my boots on to prevent myself from getting comfortable so I won’t get tired that may help keep me awake. I don’t know. But I’ll try anything to stay awake later then last night.

Possible trigger:

My mom said she couldn’t wake me up last night. which sounds like I took too many meds and I felt like I had a med hangover all day and I had all the symptoms but I didn’t have one and I don’t know why my mom couldn’t wake me up and I don’t know what went on today. it was just strange.

Hope you feel better and are safe and healthy, Mountaindewed! Please do some self-care! We care here.

SprinkL3 · Nov 12, 2021, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

just wasted another 7 days of my life, but you know, life goes on...

So sorry you are feeling defeated, raging vortex.

Although we feel like we've wasted time, etc., life is about learning. I think I just posted that in the thread about what the universe taught you. Your week was a learning week, even though you feel negative about your past 7 days. Hopefully, the next 7 days will be better. I'm so sorry you felt upset by something or someone these past 7 days.

SprinkL3 · Nov 12, 2021, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cinnamonsun

Someone here triggered and upset me so I'm dealing with the whirlwind of emotions, my embarrassment, shame, and guilt. I need to step away from here for a while. The things I really need support with no one seems to answer or understand. So I have a better chance of coping and understanding on my own. Working with my therapist. I always feel like I'm too different to really fit in anywhere. So, I will say thank you for the lessons. Peace.

So sorry you are feeling triggered @cinnamonsun and I hope you are able to take some time to self-care, process with your T, self-reflect, and figure out what was behind the triggering event or events that reminded you of something negative from your past, or something you might be struggling with in your present.

Sometimes we all need a break, too, from constant processing of mental health stuff.

I've needed a break at times when I needed to focus on what makes me feel like life has purpose beyond this constant coping and managing my mental illnesses, such as having fun playing logic games, or being productive in organizing my apartment (a new project I created), or reaching out to friends in real life to see if I could cheer them up or just touch base and have a very casual conversation about nothing.

Anyways, I hope you are able to cope and heal, and I hope you return here when you are ready. (((safe wishes, hugs, and thoughts sent your way)))

PS: Thank you for helping me in other threads.

Nov 12, 2021, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cinnamonsun

@raging vortex. I am so sorry to hear that. Sending you good vibes.

I am coping well today. No extreme upsets or outbursts. I'm proud of myself. I've even been a little nicer to my annoying computer. I enjoyed dancing and singing on my long walk, and realize how much Billy Joel's music is an influence in my life. It's Still Rock N Roll To Me could summarize who I am. I do own a bright orange pair of pants and a wide tie. My bankruptcy ending feels overwhelming but I'm taking it a day at a time. I did one thing I was supposed to do for it today. So I'm proud of myself. I can tackle the rest tomorrow and not get caught up in stress.

thanks.

I wish life wasn't so..... necessary, or at least not as ****ed up as mine is

their's ****ed up, (which is the standard deffinition of how life can turn out sometimes), and then, their's me.. probably the only person in the world with such a crappy life. I need to think of a word to describe it (or creat one, I'm not sure one exists to describe my suffering!)

Nov 12, 2021, 07:00 AM

I showered today, and I ****ing hurt

why do I bother because I just feel dirty afterwards, so...
and it isn't like I'm going anywhere or seeing anyone- just little lonely me, again, for another 24 hours

at least I don't smell, I guess, and that I've taken care of myself

and I did have pineapple for breakfast today... it was yummy

Deilla · Nov 12, 2021, 11:42 AM

I'm coping with music. I wish I could go somewhere today. Maybe later I will take a drive. Some people are really hateful. I'm just going to say it's their problem and not mine. But it hurts. I will have to lower my expectations. Lower to below ground level.

Discombobulated · Nov 12, 2021, 02:27 PM

I was irritable and easily offended today - no other way to say it - by someone in my life who didn't mean any harm.

I'm trying to give myself distance and calm myself down. It's anxiety.

Breaking Dawn · Nov 12, 2021, 03:19 PM

Sometimes not very well, but kind of ok at the moment.

Nov 13, 2021, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I was irritable and easily offended today - no other way to say it - by someone in my life who didn't mean any harm.

I'm trying to give myself distance and calm myself down. It's anxiety.

been their, got the tea-shirt

it is one of the worst feelings in the world.. hope you feel better.

Nov 13, 2021, 08:39 AM

apart from spending the night remembering my abuse, I'm having a pretty crap weekend. no real reason to it, just the usual... everyone around me is doing stuff, but me.

Breaking Dawn · Nov 13, 2021, 10:11 AM

For one thing, I've been viewing magnificent art, paintings, on the internet. I didn't even know I could do that until this morning. I was asking about a specific painting & ended up enjoying a grand tour of great works of art. So uplifting & wonderful!

Deilla · Nov 13, 2021, 11:46 AM

I'm not coping well. I'm very upset and there's nothing I can do about it. I tried distraction but that didn't help out very much. I just have to get over it.

SprinkL3 · Nov 13, 2021, 07:07 PM

1. Relaxing as much as I need to.
2. Self-care.
3. Setting boundaries.
4. Doing some things around the apartment, such as laundry.
5. Trying to stay positive.

Mountaindewed · Nov 14, 2021, 05:03 PM

I don’t feel good physically. And I’m not sure why. What it is related to. My mom says it’s food related. But I’ve eaten today and I’ve had plenty of water since cutting out soda. I have a lot of anxiety but I’ve taken my anxiety meds. My pulse and blood pressure are ok. I’m just having a hard time getting out of bed for more then a few minutes at a time and I don’t think it’s anything serious but my mom had to bring me my toast because I needed to sit down. My doctor says I shouldn’t be having any side effects from the stopped meds. I feel just headachy and dehydrated right now but I’ve mainly just had water and herbal iced tea. Overall my moods are under control. I’m not angry or anything. Just a bit off today.

Mountaindewed · Nov 15, 2021, 03:48 PM

I’ve been crabby today and I think it’s just sleep related. I haven’t slept well in weeks and I am trying to cut out soda and coffee because I want to lose weight. So I’ve had like zero caffeine except for some sweet tea. And you’d think not having caffeine would help with my anxiety. But my anxiety has been a disaster all day. I took a melatonin at 10:30 hoping to sleep through the day. I slept for an hour but now I’m just anxious and exhausted and it’s not even 3.

Discombobulated · Nov 15, 2021, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’ve been crabby today and I think it’s just sleep related. I haven’t slept well in weeks and I am trying to cut out soda and coffee because I want to lose weight. So I’ve had like zero caffeine except for some sweet tea. And you’d think not having caffeine would help with my anxiety. But my anxiety has been a disaster all day. I took a melatonin at 10:30 hoping to sleep through the day. I slept for an hour but now I’m just anxious and exhausted and it’s not even 3.

Do you think you might have caffeine withdrawal symptoms?

Discombobulated · Nov 15, 2021, 04:19 PM

I’m doing okay, it’s been pretty full on and I’ve had a couple of pain flare ups today (I really wonder if the damp affects me) but I made it through the day and made a nice meal for us tonight. Chickpea and spinach curry with basmati rice and homemade chapati. Watched Star Trek tonight which is my comfort vision.

Breaking Dawn · Nov 15, 2021, 05:14 PM

I've watched some tv, played some games, & did a bit of planning, trying not to feel anxious & sad.

Deilla · Nov 15, 2021, 05:18 PM

I'm not doing well. I've had a busy day and didn't get to relax. I had a nap cause I was so worn out. When I woke up, I was very depressed. I don't know what to do about it. I have no one to talk to. I guess the only thing I can do is go to bed for the night. I might just take my meds and do that. Or at least take my meds and see how I feel. Maybe they will help cheer me up.

Buffy01 · Nov 15, 2021, 09:36 PM

I made me a latta as part of my self care after having some really hurt feelings and I watched a bunch of self help video.

Mountaindewed · 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

Do you think you might have caffeine withdrawal symptoms?

It’s very possible. I don’t think cutting out caffeine is the answer for me. I got about 13 hours of sleep but my anxiety is a mess and I really just want a Coke more then anything right now.

I had a mug of unsweetened hot black tea and now I’m drinking some more of the sweet tea from yesterday. I was going off the caffeine for weight loss purposes. But I think tea is the only answer really. And my body should get used to that instead of the coffee and soda.

Mountaindewed · Nov 16, 2021, 03:30 PM

I needed coffee today in order to function. And it did it’s job and it did not make me anxious. I don’t know what the scale will look like in the morning but I do know I made the right decision in getting coffee today and I was able to leave my house for a bit as a result. I think I did ok today overall given the circumstances.

Nov 16, 2021, 09:06 PM

I did some laundry today for the first time in several months. I've been wearing the same clothes for several weeks at a time and I just ran out. Not doing well at taking care of myself overall. I did feel pretty good about getting the laundry done. Then late this afternoon things went bad moodwise and I'm just now trying to get through the remainder of the day. Only about an hour until I walk the dogs one last time. Normally I'd stay up for a bit after that, but I think tonight I'll take a shower and go to bed early. Happy that my meds have slowed down my brain, but very disappointed in myself for not taking more advantage of that to better my situation. Still feeling very much like giving up and checking out of life. I'm hoping that tomorrow is better.

Deilla · Nov 16, 2021, 11:25 PM

I took a lot of naps, I journaled and I played my games.

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How are you coping today? #4

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