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  #626  
Old Sep 17, 2022, 03:13 AM
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I'm not.

and on top of that I'm in a lot of body pain. sooo
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  #627  
Old Sep 17, 2022, 11:10 AM
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feeling like an old woman today

I feel so weak.... either lying on my bed in pain or going to the toilet

god. I shouldn't feel so old... at such a young age

currently, in my head, I have the line from the queen song bohemian rapsedy, " I don't wanna die, sometimes I wish I was never born at all"

and hmm. I feel like death
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  #628  
Old Sep 17, 2022, 02:46 PM
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I'm coping well regarding my moods and anxiety. The other stuff, eating and sleeping, still needs to be worked on. I read awhile ago that if you don't sleep well you tend to be an undereater while if you sleep a lot you are an overeater. I'm not sure if that was related to depression or bipolar. I don't feel depressed or like my bipolar is out of whack. I just am having trouble sleeping and eating for some reason. I've been working out though which has boosted my self esteem.
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  #629  
Old Sep 18, 2022, 03:26 AM
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I am enjoying the cold weather

so far, it's not gone above 5 degrese

perfect!
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  #630  
Old Sep 18, 2022, 03:04 PM
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I'm doing good today. I got my laundry started. My jeans and shorts are done and folded. I still have 2 other loads but I may wait on them. Laundry has been a huge stressor for me lately. My moods were fine all day. I had some anxiety between 11 and 1 because I had a couple sodas and a coffee. But I feel fine now. Overall I did good today.
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  #631  
Old Sep 18, 2022, 03:33 PM
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Using my new Linux computer seems to be uplifting me. Not sure what in the world I have against Windows. My computer is back up from repair. My precious self will be taking time out from the world soon. I'm glad I get to do this; living with my parents leaves me feeling safe and sound. My sister said that it gets better once you're thirty. (It's only been a few months since my 30th b-day). And this Linux computer seems to be helping me out.
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Hi! I'm bexca and I have Schizoaffective disorder
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  #632  
Old Sep 18, 2022, 04:06 PM
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Coping by cleaning,,organising and posting here.
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  #633  
Old Sep 18, 2022, 04:46 PM
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Reading & posting here is helping me also.
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  #634  
Old Sep 19, 2022, 02:30 PM
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well, that is it.

the queen is officially buried now

I didn't watch the funeral, I watched steuart little and cried my eyes out (that movie always makes me cry.). it's sort of annoying because really, it's not even sad- it has a happy ending even.
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  #635  
Old Sep 19, 2022, 02:30 PM
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I got my workout in this morning and I forced myself out of the house because there was a reason to go out. My moods were ok. I was kinda anxious all day. Food wise things weren't great mainly because my stomach is kinda off and I am super sleep deprived.

My shirt smells weird for some reason and its kinda putting me off a bit. Its a clean shirt I just put on today. It smells like chemicals or something.
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  #636  
Old Sep 19, 2022, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
well, that is it.

the queen is officially buried now

I didn't watch the funeral, I watched steuart little and cried my eyes out (that movie always makes me cry.). it's sort of annoying because really, it's not even sad- it has a happy ending even.
Love that movie, and hope you’re feeling okay now.

I didn’t watch the funeral either although it was on my mind.
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  #637  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 04:47 AM
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Love that movie, and hope you’re feeling okay now.

I didn’t watch the funeral either although it was on my mind.


I know... isn't it just so cute?

cuteness overload- and I'm not just talking about steuart.

the cat who ended up saving him, the family at the boat race, george (the brother) accepting him and loving him, it's just adorable

did you see steuart little 2 and 3?
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  #638  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 04:49 AM
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up all night again. blah

I am really hoping I get to see my soap operas today. missed them because of the queen
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  #639  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 03:23 PM
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I’m coping pretty well. It’s been a good few days. I hope it continues.
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  #640  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 05:45 PM
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I could have been more productive and I could have eaten better. I overdid it yesterday while excercising so I wasn't in the best shape today. Basically I'm just on edge because my sister still hasn't had the baby yet.
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  #641  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 06:52 PM
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I have been trying to keep myself busy to distracted myself of feeling really awful about myself.
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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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  #642  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 06:58 PM
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I did the best makeup I have ever done on this day; I downloaded some music; and I ate dinner with my parents.
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Hi! I'm bexca and I have Schizoaffective disorder
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  #643  
Old Sep 20, 2022, 09:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I have been trying to keep myself busy to distracted myself of feeling really awful about myself.
I so relate, dear @Buffy01! Life is really so difficult much of the time. But thank God & our wonderful volunteers, we have each other!
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  #644  
Old Sep 21, 2022, 03:07 PM
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I guess I'm kinda worn out today for some reason. I think its foreshadowings of SAD since its a particular kind of weariness I seem to get right around this time of year. Therapy could have been much more productive. Other then that things were fine.
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  #645  
Old Sep 21, 2022, 05:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I know... isn't it just so cute?

cuteness overload- and I'm not just talking about steuart.

the cat who ended up saving him, the family at the boat race, george (the brother) accepting him and loving him, it's just adorable

did you see steuart little 2 and 3?
I saw 2 but not 3, I think I was off put by it being animated rather than actors, because I really liked the actors.

Glad you spent time with a movie you love!
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  #646  
Old Sep 21, 2022, 05:01 PM
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I’m coping okay, it’s been a busy day though and I went to a new group tonight which was very full on and I’m feeling overloaded tonight.
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  #647  
Old Sep 21, 2022, 07:44 PM
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Today was very hard. But I'm still able to try & wish about later.
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  #648  
Old Sep 22, 2022, 03:33 PM
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I'm doing good today. I dealt with some transphobia at the DMV but I'm actually kind of glad it happened because its like I survived it and nothing bad happened. I just dealt with stares and unfriendliness pretty much. Possibly a rude comment I just brushed off. I had to tell them I was trans anyways. But I handled it much better then I thought I would have if I had to deal with it.

My eating was tough today. I worked out a bit too much early this morning and my therapist told me in email I need to cool it a bit. Rapid release tylenol took care of my pain though.

Overall I think I did good.
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  #649  
Old Sep 22, 2022, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I'm doing good today. I dealt with some transphobia at the DMV but I'm actually kind of glad it happened because its like I survived it and nothing bad happened. I just dealt with stares and unfriendliness pretty much. Possibly a rude comment I just brushed off. I had to tell them I was trans anyways. But I handled it much better then I thought I would have if I had to deal with it.

My eating was tough today. I worked out a bit too much early this morning and my therapist told me in email I need to cool it a bit. Rapid release tylenol took care of my pain though.

Overall I think I did good.
I'm so proud of you, @Mountaindewed! That's an awful lot to handle. Your attitude about the whole thing is so inspiring. Dealing with difficult situations is so hard.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

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  #650  
Old Sep 22, 2022, 06:44 PM
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Just did what needed to be done because there wasn't any other option.
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