How are you coping today? #7

Meh— I think I’m having a thirdlife crisis lol

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I may have lost a friend so the sadness is just starting to set in.

Also, I am very worried that there might be a world war. I'm trying not to watch too much news, but I don't live alone and the TV is very often on, so I hear it. The possibility really stresses me out. And I feel so sad and helpless.

Talking to myself in the best ways I can think of. Things from my bag of tricks, the way I like to say it. It's been a little bit extra hard lately, but I know much worse is out there, & I am very lucky in so many wonderful ways.

Dear @TheGal, I hope you didn't lose your friend. And about the scary news, the pendulum swings back again, almost always, doesn't it?
❤️ God bless you, TheGal!

Thank you, @Breaking Dawn

I called my friend and expressed my feelings and we worked it out. Yay!! I'm so very pleased and we feel closer, it seems...

The pendulum does swing. For many, though, they (we/I) have not lived tough economic times like the Great Depression, and also world war, now climate change, and Covid. It all seems like too much. I don't want to catastrophize, but I am worried on top of my own woes... I hope things improve... I was in the grocery store and had such a difficult time (with anxiety!) over the price everything costs now, and how prices have gone up in such a short time. Then, I thought about the state of the world and felt scared and so sad. My anxiety took off and I had to go straight home.

God bless you, @TheGal! And we do have each other here.

Very true! and much needed!

Thank you so much Breaking Dawn!!

At this moment I am realizing that I am very lucky to be here with you. I am able to cope much of the time because I see I'm not alone & so many really good people are here.

I miss the era before 2016/2017
Not a nostalgic person but I had a normal average life and hopes
I wish I had managed myself better, but I would have never imagined a future like this
I cant believe it, five years of nonsense and abuse and as much as I blame myself, this is out of control and i won't fight, i don't fight in these conditions, it is objectively too much

I feel pretty much the same, but would push the dates back farther.

I think I need to forgive myself, offer self-compassion and acceptance.

But all that seems easier said than done.

Today is cold but bright and sunny, that helps a lot. I’ve got lots of things to do but relaxing right now.

My emotions are stable and holding. Yay!

I've been reading on the internet & here, & posting.

TheGal is a amazing wonderful person on this forum and in the universes

I’m in a really bad way— I feel completely used and taken for granted. I tried to talk to my mom and she says she can’t talk because she’s waiting to hear back from my gran’s retirement home, they just had to take my gran to the hospital. I have $67.86 in the bank right now. I hate my job. Everything is collapsing.

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I’m putting off and dreading calling my mother. She spewed venom at me yesterday, totally uncalled for. Dr. Ramani says just go no contact and you will be alright. I can’t fathom really doing that but it sure is tempting. I now look at all these interactions as feeling getting zapped by a bug zapper. I get zapped quite a lot. It is incredibly strange and disorienting to be reading a book about healing from trauma while I am still in it. The book literally says they hope you are not still with your abuser. Um…yes, I am…

I feel a bit weird and spaced today and I think it might be the new medication. I’m staying home quietly.

I woke up at 3 am needing to go to the loo. I don't remember what I had dreamt before, but I had like almost woken up for what felt like hours. I came pretty close to a panic attack. I wanted to write here, but I suddenly felt super tired and just went back to sleep instead. It was okay in the morning, but now my anxiety is higher again. Not as high though. I mean, I know I had a stressful week, but it surprises me that it is affecting me this much.

I am trying very hard to look at my problems from different angles. So far today I'm sort of inching my way towards fulfilling my dreams & goals. But I'm also reminding myself that something is better than nothing, & to not give up, to keep trying.

I went for a drive and I've cried a lot.

I'm up and down today, emotions-wise.

frustrated with my screwed memory

I did some work, cleaned and took a nap. I'm playing my game at the moment. All of this is helping me make it through a lonely day.

I am trying to change the mental stories I tell myself

I took a long, easy-going morning to have a little extra coffee, and to enjoy the quiet of the house. I've been pushing myself hard for the last 3-4 days, so it feels good to take a morning "off".

I'm still, sometimes, doing battle with the trust and self-esteem issues handed to me by several players from my past (these have included family members, significant others, as well as people who called themselves my friends.) Apparently, I was born without the ability to spot a nasty when I was right next to them.

I'm learning, in my ripe old age, how to defend myself sooner and better from those who would wish to take advantage of me, or do me harm. Reading well-reviewed books, and researching healing techniques online have helped.

There is hope. If I can recover, anyone can.