Finding out more secrets

I found some papers dealing with my finances. My parents lied and made me think I purchased my house. I paid for it monthly while it was taken out of my inheritance. There are so many lies they told that made me crazy.... That made others think I was no good. The secrets....I'll never know all of it; they're all dead now. Logically, I know it doesn't matter now or I will never know all of what they did. It isn't about money. Its so crazy making. That's why I can't mourn the parents. There's too many lies in the way.

Honestly it isn't about money. Its about things they told me and ways they behaved that made me not able to tell what reality was. Ill never get rid of this craziness.

Secrets will be the death of me.

Same here. Lies, lies, lies. They wanted to be unfair but wanted me to think they were being fair. Did they think i would never find out? That i would always be a stupid trusting child? Did they ever consider what effect their actions would have on me? No. Didn't matter, because i was a girl.

I wondered why i dont mourn. You answered it. They werent really there. Just their lies were. Its really distancing.

I grew up in a family and experienced lies, surprises (not nice ones!), and secrets.
Yea, they used to think I would never find out. And when I did, I'd confront them, and then they would tell me to shut up. Not good! Is it any wonder why I'm not close to my family?

When my nephew was born, i warned him not to believe his parents when they said, "We will tell you when you get older." I said, i have a whole truckload of those promises, and they never told me anything! My brother was none too pleased.

Betrayal by people who are family,carves deep wounds in our hearts.That takes forever to heal.

If not for this site I’d think it was just me. I didn’t realize until now how much my parents lied to me and favored my older brother. They are long gone now but if confronted they’d say I’m too sensitive, making a big deal out of nothing, etc. They were so invalidating and unloving that they never should have been parents. Yet we idolize parents in our culture and think they know best. There are no tests to pass, licenses to get, etc. to be parents. Supposedly dysfunctional parents came from dysfunctional families themselves and the cycle repeats.

My mom once told me they are leaving “everything” to us. In hindsight she didn’t say “everything EQUALLY”. I found out from a realtor acquaintance that my parents added my brother’s name to the title of their house over 20 years ago. And left me out obviously. Lied to me about how they bought the house next door so they can sell it to my brother. Turns out he bought it from the previous owners directly. And shortly before dad passed, he signed over the house to Brother Dearest. So now my brother owns 2 houses and could do anything such as sell or rent one of them. And get rich.

He hasn’t spoken to me in years and my previous attempts to reconcile was met with just hostility and rejection. He’s been vicious and sneaky about the Trust such as not sharing information with me. Until I got my own lawyer he’s been trying to get away with stuff.

It’s not really about money for me either. It’s the betrayal from my parents. I ASSUMED they would treat us equally. They left me in a vulnerable position by not even TELLING me this document existed, let alone give me a copy! Of course my psycho brother had a copy.

My parents were emotionally distant and like Vulcans on Star Trek. No emotions or contempt for them. It didn’t occur to them how I’d FEEL about their behavior. Or thought I’d never find out.

My only consolation, if you can call it that, is that the lawyers told me how common this is, and this site shows it’s not just me.

D a m n my parents. Thought they were so perfect and always criticized people, especially other parents.



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So true. It will take me years to heal, and the grief process is painful enough without finding out how more important they thought my brother was.

I use the analogy of these scars I have on my knuckles on one hand. When I was about 4 I tripped and fell, scraping my fingers on the asphalt. The wounds were so deep I still have scars over 50 years later. They will always be there.

We say crap like blood is thicker than water and family is everything. In my case family was NOTHING. I don’t miss them because there was never a bond. It’s like they were never there. And I don’t call my brother “family”. He’s blood kin but no more. And deserves no acknowledgement of his existence from me as he has acted like an only child. Or a child period.



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Yep ,lies and betrayal by our own family members is more common than we think.And a lot of parents play favourites. Scapegoating one of the children and writing her out of will is common too.Evil people.

I couldn’t have more concrete proof than documents where they picked me as an “alternate” which means second choice. Not only did they not give me a copy or discuss with me, they didn’t even inform me of the existence of the documents. And to find out this way. There was so much paperwork I should’ve received the law firm had to send it to me in BOXES, not envelopes! It was a s h i t load of stuff, overwhelming to say the least. It took me days to get through it.



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It amazes me how " family" gets when it comes to money. It's really sickening. I was never left anything and don't intend to leave anything to anybody. In the end " family" is just a group of people that you happened to grow into with.
Your either lucky or unlucky. The universe is full of surprises. In the end you come into this life alone and your going to go out alone. People are people and you will be betrayed by the one's closest to you. The human race is a disgusting species.

Oh boy do I agree! Law firm told me it brings out the best or worst in people. It seems there’s not much middle ground. When I read how The Beach Boys sued each other, I didn’t get how family can do that. NOW I get it. Blood isn’t thicker than water. And I suspect my psycho brother is dragging this legal s h i t out just to be vicious and to hurt as much as possible. It literally turns my stomach as I find it sickening too.

If it was possible for me to choose my family at birth, having known how it would turn out, I wouldn’t have chosen them. I know this is just a tv show but I like the Sunday family dinner scene on Blue Bloods. 4 generations sitting around the table and having real or deep conversations, not just trivia. It’s in every episode so I can imagine I’m a part of that even just for a few moments.

I know humans are the most destructive species to the planet.

People who have warm and fuzzy families don’t know how lucky they are and couldn’t fathom a “family” like mine. It’s more painful when your own blood hurts you. I’d rather leave money to an organization since I have nobody left to leave it to and not much anyway.



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