Coping With Suicide Ideation

This mightn't work for some people. But it's an idea.

Make plans to do something with someone the next day. This might discourage you from doing anything because you think how would this person feel if they were planning to see you and were told you were dead. Or, if you go to hospital, imagine how stupid you might feel telling them the reason you couldn't catch up with them was because you'd gotten yourself into hospital. I think it's harder to consider suicide when you have people around you. Because telling yourself 'i'm worthless' doesn't work if people are willing to spend time with you, neither does 'i'm alone' or 'it's hopeless' if there are people who are willing to talk to you about it.

Here's something I use occasionally. I haven't for a while, don't know why.

If someone else has mentioned this, sorry to repeat, but I don't have time right now to read 50 posts, a lot of them are loooooong.

There are several crystals and minerals that remove negativity from your body or your environment. Citrine especially, and it doesn't need to be cleansed of the negative energy. It's one of only 3 or 4 crystals that's like that. Go to a crystal store if you can, or order one online. In person, hover your hand over the stones and move it all over them. The one that makes your hand change in sensation - warm, tingly, quivery, whatever - that's the stone that's meant for you. Online, the people that sell them usually have a gift of knowing which one you need.

When you're having negative thoughts, just hold your stone and feel all the bad feelings seeping into it. You can just carry it with you all the time, but for me it seems that if I only do it when I'm feeling sad I notice more of a difference. But if you have it on you all the time, it's kind of a worry stone thing, there to touch when you need it. I guess it's just a preference thing.

They aren't expensive at all, a few dollars per piece, and it doesn't have to be jewelry quality. I actually prefer the unpolished chunks that have lots of inclusions to discover. I have a clear quartz crystal with a fracture inside that looks like a whale tail coming up out of the water.

I have also had a horrible time lately with suicidal ideation. I find I get into real trouble when I start to rationalize it. Today, when journaling, I started to "make a case" for it again. I stopped and wrote that I cannot go there and then wrote "STOP" really big on the bottom of the page. That helped me to stop this downward spiral of thoughts when journaling.
I have a hard time with distraction also because when the distraction is done, the thoughts return. It really can become its own obsession/fixation. I have triggers around me all the time it seems and sometimes I have to go to sleep to get away from the thoughts. (Thank goodness for some meds that help me go to sleep quickly, before the thoughts can turn to actions.)
Right now I am getting all of my hope from my therapist. I have to fight hard to not get down on myself from being so dependent on her, but I guess if it keeps me going I need to do it. I also find inspiration from the posts in here. Knowing others have been so low and have gotten out of it gives me some hope too.
With all the "fighting" we have to do every day, we need to realize that we are all a lot stronger than we think.

Love you all!

I have a similar issue that other people are describing in which suicidal thoughts come automatically into my head when I feel depressed. I don't feel compelled to act on them, but it's just a thought that intrudes into my head sometimes. I have tried changing my own thoughts consciously. For example, say an image of me hurting myself comes into my head. Instead of visualizing myself going through with it, I visualize myself putting things away and doing something else. I don't always do that, but it seems like a positive way of thinking, so maybe I should try harder to change my own negative thought patterns. I don't have major depression, and I don't take antidepressants, but I have feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety and hopelessness sometimes. Sometimes when I drink, I get so hungover that I'm totally dysfunctional the next day. I try to take it easy on myself and not get down on myself for not doing enough. Just doing something is more than nothing. Even just lying in bed and doing nothing is not doing any harm. I try to tell myself things that are optimistic, because I know that I am an awesome person, but it's just hard to motivate myself sometimes.